


Come Back to Me

by sheriffandsteel



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Beth Lives, Canon Divergence, F/M, Post-Coda, bethyl, fix it fix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-20
Updated: 2015-11-29
Packaged: 2018-04-05 07:29:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 23
Words: 131,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4171197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sheriffandsteel/pseuds/sheriffandsteel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He has to leave her body behind when the walkers come. He has just turned away and closed his eyes when hers snap open.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

He kept waiting to wake up, to snap out of this horrible nightmare. For of course it had to be a nightmare, after all of his searching for her this was how it ended?

He didn't even get to say goodbye.

He didn't even get to say hello.

The only thing keeping him grounded in the horrible reality that had become his life was the weight of the dead woman in his arms. Her sister's screams filled his ears but he did not truly hear them over the sound of his own heart shattering as he fell to his knees, cradling Beth's body to his chest as he tuned out everything in the world but her.

But in the end it didn't matter that he didn't hear Maggie's screams, the dead did.

He ignored the sound of metal in flesh as they tried to hold the walkers off. But soon enough people were saying things to him, yelling at him, pulling at him. He didn't respond, didn't move. Suddenly Rick was there, trying unsuccessfully to pull him to his feet.

"We have to go. Daryl there's to many of them." his voice was frantic but Daryl could still hear the pain in it, the tears he was holding back for their sakes. Daryl struggled to his feet, his hold on Beth slipping just slightly as he struggled to pull her body back into his arms.

The dead were swarming at them as they rushed to the dirty firetruck, people began to shoot down the closest ones as they approached in an awkward half jog. They were still yards from the truck when Daryl's foot caught on a broken piece of pavement. He went down hard to his knees, just barely managing to protect Beth's head from slamming into the pavement.

Not that it mattered anymore.

He could see the walkers coming closer but he didn't bother to move away. Daryl hunched himself closer around Beth's still body as he buried his nose against the crown of her head. He hoped that he would be able to smell that sweet scent that was just simply Beth but the only thing that filled his nose was the sharp metallic scent of blood. The growls of the dead were coming closer and only one thought broke through the haze of pain that was his mind, _let them come._

A hand was on his shoulder then, pulling him to his feet, shoving him forward. He lost his hold on Beth and he turned to go back for her but Rick was already pulling him into the truck. Daryl heard the roar of the engine and he started to throw himself against the hold Rick had on him but it was no use. Rick wrapped his arms tighter around Daryl until he could barely breathe but still Daryl tried to shake him off.

"There's too many Daryl. We have to go. We have to go." his voice held all the pain that Daryl felt but still he struggled, staring at Beth's slumped body on the pavement, the back of her head wet with her blood that was slowly spreading to the pavement beneath her. He knew that the scent of fresh blood would draw the dead to her like flies to honey and the horrified knowledge of what was going to happen to Beth next filled him as the truck pulled away from the hospital with a lurch.

Everything around Daryl had been reduced to fuzz, a background hum that served only to annoy him. Tyreese had joined Rick in holding him back and vaguely Daryl thought that he was whispering apologies but they didn't register in his mind.

One of Maggie's screams managed to penetrate his brain as she made to rush forward like Daryl was still trying to do as she cried out, "I can't leave her again!" She'd barely made it two feet before Glenn and Tara caught her and pulled her back. She slipped to the floor immediately, gut wrenching sobs spilling out of her as she huddled against them.

Daryl felt the fight in himself go out as the truck began to gain speed and he watched Beth's broken form grow increasingly smaller, wishing she was facing the other way so that he could get one last glimpse of her face.

The truck turned a corner and she disappeared from sight as Daryl let the numbness take over and consume him.

XxX

The first thing she learned was pain.

It surrounded her, consumed her, until there was nothing else. She was certain that everything she was must be made out of this agony that was ripping her head to pieces. Her eyes flickered open only to immediately squeeze shut as the bright light assaulted them. The smallest of whimpers tore itself from her throat at the pain and if she could move her body she would have curled in on herself for protection against the light turning the inside of her eyelids red.

Slowly, carefully, she eased her eyes open the tiniest bit. It was marginally better. It was still too bright but it was bearable. Funny black spots danced dizzily in her left eye as she tried to see her surroundings, to find the cause of her agony.

She could see nothing but her hand, flaked with blood, on the pavement before her. She tried to move her fingers but nothing happened. A frown crossed her features before her eyes scanned the horizon beyond the hand she knew was hers but couldn't seem to control.

The second thing she learned was terror.

Approaching her were a group of terrifyingly mutilated people. No, they could not be people. People did not walk around with gray skin stretched tight over emancipated skeletons, with burn wounds covering half their faces. These were not people they were...

_Walkers._

The part of her that seemed to simply know things whispered.

She did not know what the word meant but she knew that the things approaching her, drawn by the scent of her blood, were dangerous. She still could not move her fingers but she found that she could move her arms. She pulled herself along the pavement, her vision going in and out as she tried to put distance between herself and the dead.

The third thing she learned was confusion.

She could not have made it more than two feet before the sound of gunshots filled the air. The sound made her ears ring and she cried out against the pain and the instinctive terror she felt at the noise. Yet still she crawled, knowing that to stop meant to die. And despite the pain consuming her she very much did not want to die.

Hands were on her then and she cried out, waiting for the pain to come as the dead began to bite into her flesh.

Instead a voice reached her.

"Oh my god. She is alive." the whisper belonged to a woman, her voice full of something akin to awe.

The pain in her head increased as the woman started yelling, either not knowing or not caring that each word felt like a knife cutting into her brain.

"Tell Edwards to get ready! Someone grab a stretcher."

She whimpered against the pain the noise brought and suddenly hands were cupping her face. She opened her eyes to meet those of a young woman with brown hair staring down at her.

"It's going to be okay Beth. You're going to be alright."

She blinked back the spots in her eyes as she stared up at the woman in confusion. Who was Beth? Was she Beth?

She felt no particular connection to the word but having a name did not seem to be the biggest of her concerns at the moment. A wave of blackness approached her and she rode it out as more hands closed around her ankles and shoulders.

The fourth thing she learned was hope.

She came to briefly, flat on her back on some form of moving bed.

_Stretcher._ Her mind whispered as she blinked up at the flickering lights above her. Or perhaps it was simply her vision that was flickering on and off.

"She's alive." this voice was male and sounded almost reverent as a man with glasses looked down at her. Beth, she had decided she would call herself this with the others, blinked up at him and watched as his features seemed to steady in a sudden flash of resolve.

"Put her under. If she wakes up at all during this it's over."

Something was placed over Beth's mouth then and a startled noise of fear wrung itself unbidden out of her throat. The man was looking down at her again as he pulled rubber gloves onto his hands.

"Don't worry Beth. I'll save you."

He must have seen the fear in her eyes, or her doubts at his words, because his next words reached her just before she slipped under whatever gas they had given her.

"I promise."

The fifth thing she learned was darkness.

XxX

Daryl insisted on digging the grave himself.

No one objected, no one even pointed out that they didn't have a body to bury. They just stood to the side and watched as Daryl kept digging down deeper into the earth, hoping that each shovelful would somehow help to ease his pain.

It didn't.

Finally, he gave up on the idea that digging a grave would help him. He stuck the shovel into the dirt on the edge of the grave and pulled himself out of the knee deep hole. Daryl joined the circle of his family and stared down at the empty grave feeling that the hole inside of him was much much deeper.

No one seemed to know what to do, it felt strange to put the dirt back inside the hole with it empty. They needed to put something inside of it. Something to represent Beth.

If Daryl could still feel anything he would have likely felt surprise when it was Eugene, Eugene the liar as he had learned from the faint whispers that managed to worm their way past his numbness, who stepped forward first.

He pulled something from his pocket, a book of matches, and leaned down to place it inside the grave.

The smallest spark of confusion and annoyance hit Daryl before Eugene shrugged and mumbled something which Daryl just barely caught. "She sounded like she had a bit of fire." before he walked away to stand by himself at the outer edge of the group.

It seemed everyone got the idea quickly and at a loss of anything else to do, one by one they stepped forward and placed something in the grave before whispering what it meant. The whispers seemed to be more for Beth than the others but Daryl could not stop himself from hearing them, from clinging to them and the shared memory of her.

A pair of earrings. _She always saw the beauty in everything._

A cloth bandage. _Hurt is part of the package. But you were worth caring for._

A flower. _I would have loved to have met you._

A torn page from a book. _For everything._

A necklace and a sob that could barely get out three words. _I'm sorry Bethy._

Memento after memento, word after word. Still it was not enough and yet Daryl knew that Beth would be moved beyond words at this memorial. Finally everyone was done and he was the only one left.

He did not know what he could place in that grave that would be worthy of representing all she meant to him. Part of him wanted to just lie down inside of it himself and let the other pour the dirt over him.

Instead he walked forward slowly, his boots at the edge of the grave as he pulled the soiled bandanna from his back pocket.

His knees were on the dirt then as he leaned forward and spread out the bandanna so it covered the other mementos as if it was protecting them. Her voice suddenly rang in his ears like she was right beside him.

_It does matter._

Daryl didn't know what he could say to tell her what she meant to him, what he sometimes thought they might be able to have the few times he let wild dreams take him over.

He rocked back on his heels and stared at the grave that looked so empty and yet so full as he finally spoke. Unlike the others he did not bother to whisper as he finally told her. "It was you. You changed my mind."

XxX

She entered a world where only two things existed: agony or blackness.

There were times when she came to only to be hit by a pain so intense she cried out wordlessly. When this happened it usually did not take long for a new drug to be administered into her IV bag, numbing her to the world once again.

Time lost any sense of meaning as her body and brain waged war against her wound, determined to keep her alive.

In the brief periods where she regained consciousness that was not blinded by pain she managed to catch a few snippets of conversation. Most were full of long hard to pronounce words that made no sense to her and that she briefly wondered if were made up before she slipped back into her haze of drugs, but a few things managed to cling to her mind.

_"She was lucky."_

_"If it had been a mere half-an-inch downwards she'd be dead."_

_"The bullet missed the major parts of the brain although the exact damage it did will be unclear until she wakes up."_

The words 'she's lucky' seemed to come up several times in the brief moments she could drag herself into reality. But she did not feel lucky, she felt like pain in human form.

XxX

They continued moving because the alternative was to sit still and wait for death to find them.

Daryl kept his distance from the others, spoke only when necessary and often lost himself in hunting. Everything reminded him of Beth, even the weight of his crossbow in his hands reminded him of how he taught her to use it.

The little bit of sleep he managed to catch was fueled by nightmares of Beth being shot again and again. He woke up screaming more than once, knew his sleep was full of mumbling and thrashing, yet no one mentioned it.

No one said a word but Daryl could see the knowledge of it reflected in their eyes.

He'd never said it aloud but they knew, of course they knew. It was why they did not pressure him, did not push him to talk. Did not offer him the platitudes they gave Maggie about Beth being in a better place, being with their father and other loved ones.

They all knew Daryl was in love with Beth, just as they knew nothing they said would be able to change that or make it any better.

XxX

One day she woke up and the pain was manageable.

The next day it was even more so.

Slowly, ever so slowly, they began to wean her off the pain medicine and various other drugs.

The doctor, Edwards, came in after she had been conscious a few days to sit and talk with her about her injuries. Most of the words were medical, the explanations to complex for her still healing brain to grasp. But Beth began to understand very early on that she was smart and the general idea of what happened stuck with her.

_I was shot in the head. It was an accident. Edwards saved me._

_The bullet ripped through part of my frontal lobe. Its why I can't remember anything, not even remember being shot._

_The memory loss is the biggest side effect of my injury._

_We do not know if my memories will ever return._

She still saw black spots in her left eye and while she could now move the fingers of her left hand slightly, sensation had been slow to return to them. Everyday when Edwards came in to check on her he pricked the ends of each of her fingers with a pin.

She felt nothing.

XxX

Noah told them of the safe place he lived with his family in Virginia. At first the others were weary to attempt the long trek for a place that may have been destroyed in the year of his absence from it but at the word 'walls' they were sold.

Daryl followed after them, not out of hope for the dream of safety but out of a loss for what else to do.

He hung back from the rest of the group, unable to be near any of them for very long. Rick sometimes hung back to walk beside him in silence, Judith bundled up in his arms. Neither of them said a word, for really what was there left to say?

XxX

She had been deemed well enough to start being useful.

She did small things at first, things that would not cause strain to her still healing brain.

She folded clothes, washed dishes, swept. Nothing complex, nothing difficult, yet she found that she often had to stop to rest. The cops avoided her and the other wards were weary.

Aside from her daily session with Edwards she spent her days alone without even memories to keep her company.

XxX

Daryl decided one day that he had finally lost his mind.

Beth began to come to him, but in more than just his nightmares.

He started to see a blonde girl everywhere he went, always in the corner of his eye, always just out of reach.

Sometimes he heard her laugh carried to him by the wind.

Weeks had past and still he would wake up sobbing her name.

XxX

Everyday after he checked her vision (which had not improved) and the feeling in her fingers (she could feel the pressure of the pin now just not the pain) Edwards did memory tests on her.

Things had began to come back to her, but they were merely facts not memories. She could remember when the Declaration of Independence was signed, she remembered that walkers only went down from head shots, she remembered the differential equation.

But still she did not remember who she was.

She still did not connect to this Beth they claimed her to be.

XxX

He hadn't even noticed when they first crossed out of Georgia.

But now he was standing frozen at the state line between South and North Carolina and Daryl simply could not get his feet to move.

His own angry words were reverberating inside his head as he tried to unglue his feet from the asphalt.

_I ain't never been out of Georgia!_

It seemed like so many other things that was no longer true.

The others were looking back at him now, tuned in to the fact that something was wrong. But something was always wrong these days and after a moment many of them turned their backs before continuing ever onward. Daryl could not tear his gaze away from the sign even as he saw Rick approaching him from the corner of his eye. Daryl wished with a fierce yearning that Beth was here, but that was nothing new.

He was always wishing for Beth.

The tingling sound of her laughter reached his ears and he managed to tear his eyes from the sign to see her where she stood a few feet away from him.

Daryl had yet to see more than a glimpse of her, no more than the ends of her ponytail as she darted away from him like they were playing a game, yet there she stood whole and untouched.

Her feet were squarely planted and her hands were on her hips as she considered him with a raised brow. There was no stain of blood on her clothes or in her hair and her wide blue eyes regarded him with a smile that broke across her face like a sunrise.

"You coming or what Dixon?" Beth asked sweetly before she stepped backwards over the state line.

Daryl lurched forward just as she disappeared from view.

XxX

She had learned something concrete about herself, the first thing that felt true to her since the accident.

She could sing.

She did not know many words or songs at first. In the beginning it just came out as soft humming. Wordless tunes flowed from her lips as she folded strangers' clothes or washed their dishes. It took time before words came to her and even then she would often lose herself mid sentence.

It did not matter to her.

The words, the songs, became her memory. They took her over and calmed her far more than any drug Edwards pumped into her system ever did. She became stronger with the songs and soon the wards could stand to be near her. Could put whatever accident caused her injury behind them as they taught her new songs, new words.

Her favorite duet partner was the old man who cleaned the rest of the kitchen while she washed dishes.

One night he was singing a new song, or at least a new to her song, as she washed silverware in captivated silence.

His voice was rich, melodious, and she absorbed the tune and the words to sing later.

The song was haunting and the words were sad. Beth looked down at the soapy spoon in her hand and tried to scrub a bit of congealed food off it as she listened.

"And all I've done for want of wit, a memory now I can't recall..."

The spoon slipped out of her hand and fell silently back into the soapy water as the hairs on the back of her neck stood up.

Beth did not even notice she had dropped the spoon because suddenly she was in a different room, holding a different spoon up to the beam of a small flashlight. The words _Washington DC_ engraved upon it shone up at her.

She blinked and the image was gone.

XxX

Ever since the state line Beth only came to him when he was alone. So Daryl started to be alone more.

Sometimes she said nothing, simply sat beside him and watched his hands as he cleaned a kill or shaped an arrow. Sometimes they would talk for hours, about nothing and everything.

He lost count early on of how many times he said sorry.

Michonne found them one day while he was in mid word. Daryl looked over Beth's head and saw her standing there and watching them with her lips pursed.

No, watching him.

It was becoming increasingly harder for him to remember that Beth wasn't really there.

It made no difference, Michonne only looked at him sadly before turning on her heels and walking away.

XxX

She used the cover of darkness to make her escape.

Honestly, she did not know if escape was even the right word for it. The hospital kept a guard on watch at all times but they did so to keep the dead out not the living in. Still no one ever tried to leave and Beth got the feeling that they might try to stop her if she did.

So she told no one of her plan. She began to sneak food and knives from the kitchen. The flimsy knives from the cafeteria would likely be no match against the walkers but she simply could not stand the idea of going out there unarmed.

It took her a week to gather enough supplies, the whole time the words Washington DC branded across her eyelids. She began to have dreams of the city she did not know if she had ever been to. Her mind began to procure more facts for her about the city she now knew was the country's capitol. Visions of monuments and a large white house filled her waking hours.

She used the cover of darkness to flee from the white hospital walls, not knowing why she had to go to DC just knowing she had to follow the only memory she had left.

XxX

The walls were still standing.

That was the first thing to break through the haze Daryl had lived in since that gun went off. The walls were still standing and the people behind them were still alive.

There was a lot of crying as an older woman Daryl knew to be Noah's mother held him tight and sobbed. Nothing else of what was behind the walls left much of an impression on him as his mind was stuck on what had just happened on the outside.

The others had rushed through the fences the second the guards had recognized Noah and agreed to let the others in but Daryl had lingered, waiting.

She appeared silently behind him, the whisper of his name the only thing alerting him to her presence.

He turned quickly, his heart plummeting as he took in the look of immense sadness on her face.

"Beth." his hand was reaching out as he stepped forward but she simply shook her head as she began to flicker before his eyes.

"I can't go in there with you." her voice was a whisper but it stung him like a knife as he watched her flickering form with terrified eyes.

"Don't leave me." Daryl pleaded as he teetered forward a step. His hands reached the place she had been, saying something as she faded from sight. Only the last word of her sentence came to him. _Faith._

XxX

It was on the road that she learned the second thing about herself to take to be true.

She knew how to drive.

She had to check several cars before she found one that had the keys still inside and actually worked. At first she had merely pulled on the seat belt and sat staring at the controls before the part of her brain that just knew things woke up and reminded her of what to do.

So she drove.

She drove and she drove and she drove.

She had taken a map from a different car, one she couldn't drive, that she had found back in Atlanta. The route to DC was carefully mapped out before her and she followed it to the exact letter.

Every car she passed she stopped to attempt to siphon gas off of. This was another fact that had returned to her as she drove. The more time she spent in the car on the endless road the more things began to come back to her.

But they were still only about the world and not about her.

XxX

Daryl was unreachable for days.

He did not eat or sleep or really even move.

He had lost her, again.

Now Beth would truly be gone forever.

Everyone tried to get through to him, now coming up with the things he had been dreading to hear since they had lost her.

_Beth wouldn't want this._

_You need to be strong for her._

_Beth would want you to keep living._

In the end it was Abraham who broke through the haze.

"You just gonna give up then?" his words were angry but there was something else behind them, something that told Daryl the man before him had been in this place before.

The thought did not comfort him.

"You gonna put this on Beth? You gonna make her know you gave up because of her?"

Daryl shrugged, feeling as though a weight was resting heavily on his shoulders as he spoke for the first time since he had entered the walls of the safe zone. "It don't matter. She's dead."

The words echoed in his head, again and again.

_she'sdeadshe'sdeadshe'sdeadshe'sdeadshe'sdeadshe'sdeadshe'sdeadshe'sdeadshe'sdead_

Abraham let out a huff of air so strong his mustache hairs billowed. He stared down at Daryl with a look he could not place: remorse, guilt, understanding. Maybe all, maybe none. Whatever it was he was still glaring at Daryl when he proclaimed words Daryl knew all to well.

"It does matter."

XxX

She nearly hit him at first.

She had switched cars earlier that morning after a tire had blown out and she was heading down another endless stretch of road when something stumbled out onto the street. She nearly missed it at first because it was on her bad side but eventually she saw the figure through the spots that clouded her vision. This was not the first time this had happened and Beth readied herself in case the walker choose to step in front of the car as many often did.

Instead, she was shocked when the man before her rose his hand to his face and pulled the sunglasses off his eyes as he stared at the car bearing down at him in wonder.

_He's not dead._

She slammed on the breaks so hard the smell of burning rubber filled her nose.

She did not know why she stopped. She did not know why when the man decided after a long pause where she did not drive away to walk over to the other side of the car and get in the passengers seat she both let him and was not afraid.

He did not question why she was letting him join her and so she decided to stop questioning herself.

Maybe this was the third thing she was learning about herself.

She was a good person.

XxX

He was placed on guard duty on the wall although he also spent a good portion of his days on the outside hunting. He told the others it was because after so long being out there he could not stand being behind the walls all the time.

They did not seem to agree with him but at least they believed him.

Well most of them. Michonne and Rick simply looked at him with knowing eyes and they all pretended not to notice how closely they began to look after him.

Daryl didn't care. He simply spent half his days wandering the outskirts of the fences with his bow in the hopes that outside of the walls Beth would come back to him.

XxX

She didn't believe the man, Morgan, was also originally heading to DC until he showed her the carefully marked out map. Even then she was weary.

But as the days passed she learned to trust him. Began to appreciate having another person around to share the tedious driving and when they finally ran out of gas and had to continue on foot she began to be thankful for having someone to have her back.

She grew to like Morgan, if only for the simple fact that he did not spend the hours by talking about his past which would only remind her that she could not remember her own.

She knew he had seen the circular scar that marred her forehead, the lopsided ponytail that covered up the part of her hair that was only just growing back in. But Morgan never asked her any questions.

He gave her songs though and Beth soon began to join her voice to his as they moved steadily onwards.

XxX

Slowly Daryl began to stop expecting to see her around every tree, that every snap of a twig wasn't her walking up behind him. He began to bring back more game on his hunts as he slowly focused more on the hunt than on looking for her.

But that was only in his waking hours.

At night memories and dreams of Beth comforted him more than any words the others said to him ever could.

XxX

She was ill and Morgan was injured when the stranger found them.

He told them his name was Aaron and that he came from a safe community where they could receive treatment if they wished it.

Morgan made it a point to ask if they would be expected to stay if they went there for help.

It was only until after they had been assured ten times that they would be free to leave whenever they wanted to that Morgan agreed to follow the man back to his camp.

Beth was so ill that she passed out on the way there and only woke up once when Morgan carried her through the fence in the dark.

XxX

Rick was smiling again.

A man, a stranger to all but Rick, Carl and Michonne, had appeared in the street the previous day, calling out Rick's name in wonder.

It was clear to all they knew each other, though to what extent Daryl could not tell. At first the men had simply shaken hands but then Rick was pulling the stranger to him in a brief but tight hug.

That night the group was told the story of how Morgan saved Rick the day he fled the hospital. They mentioned that they met a second time but they did not discuss it much. Daryl understood that was when Carl and Michonne met him though. Morgan told them about finding the church and the note and map addressed to Rick. He had decided to follow it simply because he did not know how to find anyone else he had ever known so he decided to try to find the only one that he could.

Someone asked him about the large bandage on his arm and Morgan explained that he cut it on a broken window the day before Aaron found them.

"Would've bled out before that but Beth managed to bandage it up tight enough to hold me over." Morgan did not seem to notice the hush that fell over the room at the name. Daryl felt something in his chest tighten and then shatter as the man continued unknowingly. "She's pretty sick right now but when she's all healed up I know she'd love to meet all of you."

Rick was still in the process of telling him that they would love to meet this new Beth when Daryl walked wordlessly out the front door.

XxX

It took over a week for the illness to leave her system.

She had to wait another two days confined to the house she shared with Morgan so that she would not spread her germs and cause an outbreak in the small community.

Finally she was granted clearance to leave and join the world that she sometimes spied on through her bedroom window but still she waited. She did not think she could face the world outside this house alone.

She had never seen so many people in one place before. The hospital had not had even a third of this number. The sheer amount of faces made her huddle on the floor of her empty closet, palms pressed tight over her ears as she sang every song she knew in an attempt to calm herself down.

XxX

He was not told until the door was opening that their weekly family dinner would be having two extra guests that night. Morgan was already crossing the threshold of the house and Daryl knew it would be considered to be rude if he left now but he was still turning for the back door, not wanting to see some stranger with her name, when the sound of breaking glass filled his ears.

Daryl turned quickly, his hand already on the knife he insisted on wearing on his hip, when Maggie started running. His gaze followed her to the doorway and there she stood.

Thinner than he remembered, her face more angular and pale than his visions. Her hair was shorter, the ponytail arranged as if to cover up a part of her head. Her blue eyes were wide with alarm and surprise as she looked at them all staring back at her in disbelief and joy.

_The others could see her too._

But it was the small circular scar on her face that proved to Daryl that this was real. That she was really here.

Somehow this wasn't a vision and she was really here. And that meant, she was alive.

_Beth was alive._

Daryl stood rooted to the spot, unable to move and at the same time unable to tear his eyes away from the girl in the doorway. He was still silently yelling at himself to wake up, sure that this was a dream because it was far to good to be true, when Maggie reached her.

She threw her arms around Beth with a startled sob as everyone began to push themselves closer to the trio in the doorway. Morgan stood slightly behind Beth, the expression of confusion on his face surely mirroring the one on Daryl's.

Beth's startled eyes met his from across the room and it was that which finally broke through to him and suddenly Daryl could move again. He was pushing his way past the others, trying to reach her when Maggie finally pulled away from Beth to cup her face in her hands.

Her voice was filled with disbelief and joy as she whispered, "Bethy...you're alive."

And suddenly Daryl found himself wishing very much that he hadn't moved closer because he saw the flash of confusion in Beth's eyes, saw her jerk away from her sister's arms in fright.

He heard every ounce of terror and confusion in her voice as she huddled against the door frame and whispered, "How do you know my name?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song the old man sings is 'the parting glass'.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beth may seem a little out of character for these next few chapters but I did this intentionally. She's suffering from a major trauma and severe memory loss and I didn't just want to show my readers that I wanted them to feel it. So these next few chapters you'll see flashes of the Beth we love from the show but mostly you're going to see a very confused and terrified girl. It passes, you just got stick it out.

They were all staring at her. These strangers whose hands seemed to keep reaching for her, whose eyes took her in like she was water and they were dying of thirst. She could do nothing but stare back at them, the wooden frame of the door pressing hard into her back as she wished fervently that she had declined Morgan's invitation to meet his friend. She found herself wishing she had just stayed in their house on the floor of her closet forever.

The woman who had hugged her, well more of clung to her really, made some noise of confusion as she stared at her.

"Bethy. It's me." her green eyes were wide with disbelief and Beth pressed her back harder into the wood, needing the sensation to keep her grounded. Her brain began to feel like it was pulsing like it always did after the sessions where Edwards tried to hard to jog her memory.

Beth shook her head and looked at the strangers staring at her, watching her. Only one could no longer seem to meet her eyes.

The man was older than her, his dark hair and beard showing a few stray gray hairs. He had met her eyes from across the room with blue orbs that seemed to pierce straight through her. But he was not looking at her now. In fact he was the only one in the room who seemed to understand what the others could not even begin to fathom.

They were all strangers to her.

The woman before her was saying something else but Beth could no longer makes sense of the words. Her breathing grew ragged as she watched the strangers' mouths move but no words made sense to her as all their voices blurred together into an incomprehensible hum. All she wanted was to sink to the floor and place her hands over her ears to block out the sound of their voices. But she couldn't do that here, couldn't trust these strangers not to use her weakness against her. So she did the only other thing she could think of.

She turned out the still open door and ran.

XxX

For a long silent moment everyone stood rooted to the spot before flinging rapid fire questions at Morgan. The man looked at them all in bafflement before he shook his head once. His voice was laced with confusion as he spoke slowly, his deep voice holding a slight edge of pain that Daryl knew on instinct was for Beth.

"She never mentioned her past so I never asked."

Daryl didn't need to hear anything else. That just meant Beth was alive and _here_. The burning need to see her again devoured him and suddenly he was pushing past the others to head out the door, searching the street desperately for her retreating form.

The road was empty.

That fact did not stop him. Daryl once ran for two days in the attempts to find Beth. He would run twice that long to find her again.

XxX

She ran in no particular direction and paid for it dearly when she could not locate the house she shared with Morgan. This was the first time she had ever been outside of the safety of its walls and when she could not find it her hands began to tremble with a dizzying concoction of nerves and fear.

In the darkness all the houses looked the same, the streets they sat on so uniform they blend seamlessly into one endless road in her mind. It took her less than a minute to realize the fact that she was hopelessly lost.

The area behind the walls was not that large. She knew she would be able to find the house once she calmed down. But she couldn't seem to calm down.

Her breath came in ragged spurts as she tore down the empty streets, running as fast as she could in the desperate hopes that she would be able to out run the strangers who looked at her with such pleading eyes.

Beth didn't know why she was so terrified of them. The rational part of her brain was whispering to her that this was a good thing, that these people would be able to tell her who she was and maybe even tell her about the accident that no one in the hospital ever bothered to explain.

But still she ran, skirting the inner edges of the walls as she began to feel trapped like a rat in a maze. She heard the sound of someone calling her name softly, to scared to yell her name in fear that it would bring the walkers to the walls but still calling for her anyways. The sound of her name in a stranger's mouth made her push her feet to go faster, to ignore the pounding of her heart and head as she ran in the opposite direction of their voice.

XxX

The others had followed him out onto the street. He could hear the sounds of their voices and their footsteps as he turned the corner and kept running. Daryl found himself wishing for street lamps so he could see better in the encroaching darkness. The bizarreness of finding he missed such a mundane thing would have nearly made him laugh in normal circumstances.

But this was nowhere even close to normal.

A large part of him was still convinced that this was a dream but even his worst nightmares had never had Beth look at him with that blank look on her face. He had never had to see her look at him with not a single fleck of recognition in her eyes.

He kept running, ignoring the soft calls of her name behind him as he reached the fence and began to run the lap around it. Daryl ignored the curious and baffled looks the people on guard duty were shooting down at him as he passed them by. The only thing that he could focus on, the only thought running through his mind, was Beth.

XxX

She realized quickly that she could not hope to out run them forever. Eventually someone would see her and then what would happen? They would force her to talk to them, to listen to them tell her who she was.

She was surprised to find that she was not ready.

As she ducked behind a small storage shed by one of the corners of the fence Beth finally began to understand why she had fled that house.

She did not want to know.

She had spent so long waiting for memories to come back to her, for the chance to learn who she used to be, and now that she had been presented with the opportunity she realized she didn't want to know after all. At least not like this.

She did not want to be told who she was by the words of strangers.

Beth leaned back against the worn wood of the shed and tried to get her breathing under control as she accepted the truth.

She didn't want to be told who she was. She just wanted to be who _she is._

XxX

He couldn't find her.

Daryl's search grew more and more frantic as he began his third lap around the walls. He vaguely caught someone on guard duty asking him if this was the new exercise regime but he ignored it. His breathing had grown labored but he could not stop running. He thought he had caught a glimpse of the group heading back to the house he shared with the Grimes family and Michonne but Daryl didn't bother to go and check. If he went in there to check they might tell him that none of this was real. That he had imagined Beth standing in their doorway.

The longer he was away from Beth the more he was beginning to doubt that what he thought had happened in the house had actually happened.

She hadn't been there at all, he had simply hallucinated her again. Or maybe there had been a girl and she had looked a bit like Beth but she wasn't his Beth. That was why she ran. She was scared of how they had reacted to seeing her.

Daryl finally had to stop, collapsing to his knees at the corner of the fences as he let the truth wash over him.

It hadn't really been her at all.

He hung his head and dug his fingers into the soil beneath him as the sobs began to build up inside of his chest.

He had lost her.

Again.

XxX

Eventually she sank down to a sitting position, leaning her head back against the shed as she watched the stars begin to appear in the night sky one by one. Part of her wondered if the night sky had always been so bright and full of wonder or if the lights that she knew people had created had blocked them out.

Another part of her whispered that it didn't matter, at least not anymore.

Her heartbeat began to return to its normal pace and as it did the throbbing of her brain finally began to ease. Beth let out a soft sigh as she reached her hand up to rub the scar on her forehead quizzically.

Her brain raced with questions that she still could not answer as her breathing returned to normal. She shivered against the chilly spring air and wondered if she would actually be able to find her way back to her house after all. It wouldn't matter if she couldn't she supposed, she had spent several nights sleeping outside on their journey up here and at least here behind the walls she would be safe.

XxX

The sobs never did come. Instead he lay huddled on the ground, pressing his forehead into the dirt as violent shudders ran through him. Daryl began to think that he was not crying simply because there were no tears left inside of him. He had run his eyes dry after all the times he had cried over Beth Greene.

When the thought to move finally came to him his bare arms were already long since covered in goosebumps. He tried to unclench his fingers from the dirt but found that he seemed to have lost control of his body. Nothing would move, nothing would listen to him. Eventually he stopped trying.

XxX

Her body had calmed down entirely and now it was merely shaking from the cold and not her fear. Although the fear had not left her, it had simply been joined by the confusion, relief and strange enough rage that were now battling inside her mind.

Beth let out a soft moan as the truth began to come to her.

She would never be able to live peacefully in this town if the sight of its inhabitants made her feel this way.

Silently she promised herself that in the morning she would leave. She would continue on to DC, solo now that Morgan had found the man he was originally following. The thought of returning alone to the world outside the safety of these walls did not scare her. She survived by herself before she found Morgan she knew she would survive after.

Yet even with those reaffirmations her brain would not quiet itself. Her palms moved to cover her ears reflexively as she began to sing, determined to quiet the mess that was her mind.

XxX

Daryl did not know how long he was laying there before something broke through the shell of pain that was his body.

It was a voice.

It only took a few words before Daryl realized that it was her voice.

It was a song he knew, one he had heard her sing before behind the darkness of the prison walls. His muscles began to relax as her soothing voice flowed over him. He had never dared to dream that he would hear her sing again. It was worth the pain of his last hallucination if it meant he got to hear her voice one more time.

There was a small lull after she finished the song and Daryl was just about to speak, to plead for her to keep singing, when she began again.

This time the melody and the words were unfamiliar and it was not just because Daryl had never heard Beth sing it before.

He did not know this song.

Ever so slowly his eyes crack open and he lifted his head from the dirt.

XxX

Songs came to her easier now. Perhaps it was because after her time with the other wards at the hospital and traveling with Morgan she now knew so many. The songs felt like gifts they all had given her and Beth found that she was grateful for every tune, every word, as she sang until her throat had gone dry and scratchy. Her brain had quieted enough for her to slowly move her palms down off of her ears but she still kept her eyes shut tight, not willing to face the world just yet.

XxX

It was not until she had sung a third song that he was unfamiliar with that Daryl rose unsteadily to his knees. Not until she had sung the fifth that he stumbled to his feet. On the seventh he slowly began to let his feet move, to follow the sound of her voice as if she was a siren intent on leading him to his doom. But if she was a siren Daryl would gladly drown himself in her.

He followed the sound of her singing to a small shed a mere ten feet from where he had collapsed. His footsteps were slow and unsure as he approached the edge of the building. Daryl did not know what he expected to find on the other side of it but he knew that if he turned the corner and no one was there it would be the end. The fragile grip he had felt like he'd had on his sanity since he saw that bullet leave her skull would finally snap.

And once it was broken Daryl knew without a doubt it would never heal.

He had just reached this conclusion when her singing stopped.

XxX

She rubbed her hands up and down her bare arms in an attempt to bring some warmth into them but it didn't help. She found herself missing the dirty gray cardigan she'd had to throw out a few weeks back when there was finally too much gore on it for her to handle wearing. The smell of the dead already haunted her dreams she did not need it to fill her waking hours as well.

Beth shivered as a small breeze began to pick up and again she told herself to move. That she needed to get up and attempt to find her house before Morgan worried to much. That she needed to start gathering supplies so she could continue on to DC.

But still she did nothing but bring her knees up to her chest and wrap her thin arms around them in the hopes to bring some warmth back into her body.

XxX

It took him six tries to turn the corner of the shed. Each time he made to move around it he found himself caught by a doubt so crippling that he had to struggle to breathe. In the end it was not the pep talks he gave himself, not the thought of how much joy he would feel if he got to see her face again, but the fact that whether she was there or not his question would be answered that made him swing around the edge of the building.

At first he saw nothing.

Daryl felt his insides start to rip apart, his mind began to shatter, when the smallest of noises drew his gaze downwards.

And there she sat.

She was huddled into a tight ball near his feet. Daryl could see the slight tremble of her body and he could not honestly tell if it was from the cold or from the fear of seeing him.

He found that he very much did not want to know.

All he could do was stare down at her, his mouth moving but unable to form any coherent words. Beth said nothing as she watched him with wide eyes that Daryl thought he would never see again.

He still didn't know if she was real but when minutes had passed and she still had not gotten up to run or flickered from his sight Daryl found himself taking the smallest of steps forward. She flinched minutely but otherwise did not move. And so it took nearly ten minutes for Daryl to close the few inches of distance between them so that he was leaning against the wall next to her. It took another five for him to ease himself down to sit on the cold earth beside her.

Every time he moved he expected her to get up and bolt but still she sat, simply watching him silently.

He found he had so much to say but he could not seem to get words to string together so he sat in a silence that she returned. Daryl still didn't know if this was real or not but the fact that she was not speaking unnerved him. He could not tear his eyes away from her and every time that he blinked he was sure that she would disappear. So ever so slowly he moved his arm down from his own raised knees. He held his breath waiting for the moment when his flesh passed through hers, waiting for her to run, waiting for the moment when she disappeared forever.

Instead his arm laid to rest against the warmth of her skin.

XxX

She didn't really know why she had not run away yet. Perhaps it was because the man beside her looked as though he himself might flee at any moment but it was mostly because he did not talk. He opened his mouth a few times as if he might try but each time he said nothing before he shut it again.

Beth found that she was grateful.

She did not want to know what he had to say. She was not yet ready to hear who this man was or who he thought she was.

No, who she _had been._

So they sat in a silence that was neither awkward nor companionable all while watching each other from the corner of wide eyes.

When he moved his arm she saw it, knew what was coming next. Yet still she did not move except to tense up in anticipation of contact with his flesh.

She was proud when she did not flinch away at his touch.

For a long moment neither of them seemed to even breath.

Beth realized then that with the exception of the frantic woman who had hugged her earlier that night this was the first person to touch her since Morgan had carried her through the gates. This man was the first person to ever touch her on purpose but for no real reason.

The thought sent her brain back into the bad place.

She tried to fight back against the pain, terror and confusion that were beginning to worm their ways to the front of her brain but it did not take Beth long to know that she would not be able to simply will this episode away. Her breaths began to go ragged and she saw the man beside her turn to her in concern. All she wanted to do was to clamp her hands over her ears and sing but if she did that she would not be able to keep the man's arm touching hers and for some reason that thought scared her.

He was still looking at her, concern evident in his features as he moved to pull his arm away and Beth knew that she could not handle that. She somehow knew that the second his touch left her the bad place would take over her brain. She reached blindly for his hand on the dirt beside her and slipped her fingers between his.

Their hands clung together tightly as if they were the only thing holding the other to the earth.


	3. Chapter 3

Daryl was not sure how long they sat in silence, clutching each other's hands so tightly that their knuckles turned white. Her hand was warm in his despite the chill in the air and the feel of it was enough to make him stop being afraid to blink.

She would not disappear from sight if he did.

After a while he even felt brave enough to look away from her for brief periods of time, the weight of her hand in his enough for a few seconds glance around their surroundings. Not that there was anything near him that was better to look at than Beth. Even the stars in the sky dimmed with her beside him.

It was not long after Beth's breathing had returned to normal when Daryl looked over at her and realized that she had fallen asleep, her head resting back against the wall of the shed. Daryl used the moment to stare at her unabashedly, to study the features of her face that were both so familiar and so entirely new.

The scars that marred her face make his blood boil in anger. He knew all to well what the small circular scar on her forehead was from, he could still remember the taste of her blood as it painted his lips. The ones on her cheek and forehead he did not know the causes of but they had healed in the time that passed since he saw them briefly at the hospital.

Beth looked older than he remembered, perhaps not in years but in experiences. When she was awake the skin near her mouth was pulled taunt but it had smoothed out in her sleep. She looked almost peaceful with the signs of her panic erased from her face.

A small gust of wind caused a shiver to run through him and Daryl realized he'd rather not spend the night outside shivering when he could sleep in his own warm bed. The fact that he actually had a bed still never failed to amaze him.

He could not and would not leave Beth out here but at the same time he was loathe to wake her. He tried to tell himself it was because he knew that she needed rest and that she looked so calm in her slumber. But the selfish part of him knew that he didn't want to wake her because he did not know how much longer he could stand her looking at him as though he was a stranger.

Careful not to jostle her too much Daryl managed to pull her up into his arms, carrying her bridal style.

He didn't even make it a step before the memory of the last time he had carried her this way overwhelmed him. His heart began to pound as he looked down at her face, shining in the moonlight. He was unable to breath until he saw the soft raise and fall of her chest proving to him that she was still here and alive.

He began to walk back towards the houses, having to stop every few steps to check on the fact that she was indeed breathing. The memory of carrying her down those five flights of stairs, of being so sure that she was dead in his arms threatened to drag him under. It was only the warmth of her flesh seeping through his clothing and her calm breathing that kept him afloat.

Daryl paused as he passed the first houses and he realized that he had no idea which one was hers. He looked around at the uniform houses wearily before deciding that he couldn't very well knock on every door until he found it. Seeing no other option he turned in the direction of the house he lived in but still could not bring himself to call home.

XxX

She appeared to be moving although she was not telling her body to do so.

Beth's eyes fluttered open in confusion and she saw the face of the man with the blue eyes above her and realized with a jolt that he was holding her in his arms. Her sleep muddled mind was surprisingly not as terrified of this as she would have likely been had she been truly awake. Instead she found the rocking motion of his footsteps to be soothing and allowed herself to be lulled back to sleep, the briefest flash of a food loaded table coming to her before she slipped back into a dreamless sleep.

XxX

The last time he carried her was running on repeat in his mind. The gunshot, the blood, the stairs, the _screams_ , but most all the fact that he had dropped her. The knowledge that Beth was nearly eaten alive by walkers because he couldn't hold on to her caused his heart to seize.

The guilt and the memory threaten to overwhelm his mind so as he walked down the dark and deserted streets Daryl finally let himself think of memories that he usually deemed to painful to even begin to remember while awake.

He had carried her before this and before the day that haunted both his sleeping and waking hours. He could still hear the soft sound of her breath as she gasped in surprise when he lifted her into the air. Could nearly feel the warmth of her arms as they held onto him. To this day he still didn't know why he had picked her up, he just knew that in that moment he had wanted to be closer to her.

It was there in the funeral home that the truth of what he felt for Beth had slowly crept up on him. He had tried to ignore it for so long but being alone with Beth as he was there wasn't very much to distract him from her. To distract him from the feelings that only grew with each passing moment in her presence.

Daryl carefully adjusted her weight as he eased open the unlocked door to the house. For a moment he stood in the entryway, casting an uneasy glance down the hallway where his room was. He struggled silently with where to put her, knowing that she would be more comfortable in his bed but also knowing that she would likely be terrified to wake up in a strange house let alone a strange bed. Carefully he crossed the few feet to the couch and eased her down onto it. He had to leave the room to fetch a blanket from his bed and the whole time he held his breath sure that when he came back she would finally have flickered out of sight.

Yet she was still there when he returned and ever so carefully he spread the blanket over her. Beth curled her hands into it instinctively and Daryl stood over her for a moment unsure of what to do or where to go. He knew that he would not be returning to his room that night, not with the chance to be near her. He had just turned to head towards one of the chairs across the room when a small hand closed around his.

Daryl turned slowly to look down at Beth but her eyes were not open and he was not sure if she was even awake as she whispered, "Stay."

Beth could have asked anything of him in that moment and he would have given it to her. Anything to keep her next to him, and this was something he was more than willing to give. Slowly he sunk down to his knees before wrapping his other hand around both of theirs as he whispered, "Forever."

XxX

She didn't even need to open her eyes to know that she was somewhere unfamiliar. Ever so slowly she eased her eyes open to stare in confusion at the strange room before her. A brief flash of panic filled her as she sat up, trying to figure out where she was and how she had gotten there. Her eyes fell on the man asleep on the floor beside the couch where she lay.

His head rested on his arm which was stretched out across the seats towards her. Her hand was mere inches from his and Beth wondered briefly if she had grabbed his hand again in the night. She was surprised when the thought did not spin her into a panic.

It took her a few more moments to place the room in the gray light of dawn as the one she had been in the night before. The one with the strangers and their searching eyes. The panic began to set in and her breath began to quicken as she edged cautiously up onto her knees. Beth pushed the loose hair back from her face as the memories of the night before returned to her in full force. She could already feel herself slipping into terror as one thought forced its way past the others.

_I can't stay here._

Careful not to wake the man beside her Beth clamored off the couch and began to edge quietly to the door, knowing that it was more than her not being able to stay in that house that caused her to flee it for the second time.

She couldn't stay in this town.

XxX

Daryl woke up slower than usual, his mind clinging to sleep as he realized that waking up meant facing the real world. Facing a world without Beth.

 _It was a dream._ He reminded himself as he tried to memorize every last part of it so he would have something to hold on to in the rough days to follow.

In his dream he had fallen asleep holding her hand but now his hand felt cold and empty where it lay. Daryl kept his eyes closed as he tried to hold on to every last bit of his dream. He hadn't had such a vivid one since the day that she died and that had been more of a nightmare than a dream.

He could hear the faint sound of Rick and Michonne whispering in the kitchen, heard Judith gurgle out something unintelligible, but still he kept his eyes clenched shut.

He couldn't face the world without her again, not just yet.

XxX

Now that it was daylight and she was not running in a panic Beth managed to locate her home with ease. Once there she found she did not have very much to pack. Beth had come to this sanctuary behind walls with little more than the clothes on her back and the companion at her side and she was going to leave it with even less.

She felt guilty taking food from Morgan but she rationalized herself with the fact that the people in this town did not bring him into their safety just to let him starve. She used the torn backpack she had procured on the first leg of their trip and filled it with what she thought would be her share of their food. She even left him a little more, sure to leave the cans of food she knew to be his favorite.

The pack was slung tight over her shoulders and she was halfway to the front door before she debated leaving a note. But she could not think of anything she could write that would make him understand why she had to leave when she still didn't fully understand it herself. Beth finally decided she would rather not say goodbye to him, it would simply be too painful for both of them.

She had just reached this decision, her hand on the doorknob, when his voice called out from the hallway behind her.

"You leaving just like that then?"

XxX

He had just talked himself into opening his eyes, into facing the world without her once more, when the front door opened so quickly it nearly dented the wall behind it.

Daryl's eyes snapped open and for a moment he stared at the worn blue blanket resting on the couch beside him in confusion. He remembered then that he had covered Beth with a blanket in his dream and he felt a brief flare of panic that he had now resorted to sleep walking before he noticed the sheer amount of people flooding into the room.

Maggie's eyes look red rimmed from crying as she passed him with a small smile and Daryl felt his brows knit together in confusion. The others kept walking past him to settle down in various places through out the room and Daryl wondered briefly if they were there for him. Maybe he hadn't been asleep last night and had simply reacted to a hallucination while awake, it wouldn't have been the first time after all. They might all be here to try to talk some sense into him, Daryl was not sure he could handle that just yet. He was still debating if he should leave or not when the couch behind him shifted suddenly and Daryl twisted his head to see Rick looking down at him in concern as he shifted Judith in his lap.

"You holding up alright?" he asked softly, his eyes shining with concern as Daryl blinked up at him.

He had hallucinated Beth again and Rick wanted to know if he was holding up? His brain was still shaking the last bits of sleep from it when Michonne sat on the other side of Daryl, just as Glenn spoke decisively from across the room.

"I think we need to come up with a plan about Beth."

Everyone paused for a moment as they began to think up ideas but Daryl froze for a whole other reason. Glenn had seen her too? Then that meant...

His voice was barely more than a breath as he whispered, "It was real." And for once it was not a question.

Only the two people next to him seemed to have heard him, the others beginning to throw ideas out to the room. Daryl felt Rick grip his shoulder tightly as Michonne leaned down to whisper to him.

"It was real Daryl." He turned to face her in time to see one of her rare smiles slowly bloom across her face. "Beth is alive."

XxX

Ever so slowly Beth let go of the doorknob to cast a look over her shoulder to where Morgan stood in the hallway. His brow was furrowed the way it always was when he disapproved of her ideas. They stared at each other for what felt like hours, him being to stubborn to speak and her being to unsure of what to say.

"I'm no good with goodbyes." she finally admitted softly, giving him a sheepish shrug that caused the cans in her backpack to clank together.

Morgan shook his head as he took a few steps closer to her. "I'm not talking about that." his dark eyes bore into hers as he finally stopped a few feet away. Beth had to fight down the feeling of being trapped, reminding herself that this was Morgan, her friend. He would not hurt her. "You're gonna leave your family behind again?"

Beth's skin prickled at the accusation that she was the one who left them as her brain began to pound at the word _family_. She dug the nails of her right hand into her palm, the biting sensation helping to clear her head. The word seemed to echo around her brain, numbing all of her senses as the silence grew tenser as it stretched on between them. Finally Beth could take it no more and one thought managed to break free from her lips.

"They're not my family."

Morgan did not seem shocked by this revelation. Instead he merely shook his head at her in confusion and proclaimed. "Yes, they are."

And suddenly it was as though everything she had felt since the woman threw her arms around her the night before hit her and Beth could barely stop herself from yelling. "No! They're not! Don't you see? Don't any of you see?" the image of the man who held her hand, who carried her to a warm place, filled her mind of its own accord.

 _He sees._ She whispered to herself before continuing to fling her angry and frustrated words at Morgan.

"I don't know who they are!" and it felt so good saying it aloud, to hear the truth instead of just think it. So she said it again, this time a whisper as her shoulders slumped in defeat.

"I don't know who they are."

XxX

After a few minutes the words "Beth's alive." stopped echoing in his head and he allowed himself to tune into to the other's conversation. He listened with only half an ear as they talked about how miraculous it was that Beth was not only alive but there with them. Daryl agreed with them but he did not bother to say anything aloud.

Beth was alive and here but for once he was not dreaming.

For once it was all real.

If there was ever going to be something that would make Daryl Dixon jump with joy this was it. The longer he sat and let the fact that she was alive sink into him the giddier he became. Beth was _alive._

Only one thing was preventing him from running off to find her, the same thing that was keeping everyone else in this room and not out looking for Beth.

"She doesn't remember any of us." Maggie sounded so heartbroken as she said what they were all thinking but not saying aloud. Daryl could hear the pain in her voice but behind that he thought he could hear guilt. He remembered suddenly the night when the nightmares kept him awake and he overheard Maggie crying to Glenn about how if she had looked for Beth after the prison she would still be alive. Daryl was no stranger to guilt and he knew that both him and Maggie felt their fair share of it when it came to Beth. How many times did he lay awake thinking about how he should have stopped her from stepping towards that cop? How he should have checked the door before opening it at the funeral home? The fact that Beth was alive wasn't going to make their guilt magically go away.

"Maybe we could try to jog her memory." Sasha suggested from where she stood by the window. Daryl's eyes drifted to her as she shrugged and continued. "Tell her of things that happened and see if they make her remember."

The idea of sitting down and telling Beth about everything that had happened between them after the prison and before she was taken overwhelmed him. He could tell her about the moonshine shack, and burning away their pasts. He could tell her about the dog and her singing and how she held him together as moonshine, rage and sorrow threatened to tear him apart.

The memory of her holding him brought him back to the night before, to the events that he now knew were real. Of Beth shaking like a leaf at the mere sight of him, of her frantic breathing at his touch. Of the look of pure terror in her eyes when Maggie said her name. Telling her about her past might shake a few memories lose or it might destroy her mind entirely. And then they would likely loose her for good.

Daryl's voice cut across everyone else's as he finally spoke, "No. If she remembers it has to be on her own."

XxX

If Morgan was phased by her outburst he didn't show it. He simply shook his head again, bringing her ebbing fury back to the foreground with the motion before he spoke, the words cutting through her fury to hit her in the heart.

"You're afraid."

Suddenly she found that she could not look at him and she focused on the wall just behind his ear. She wasn't afraid, was she? Beth had already faced so much, had faced the overrun world on her own without flinching but the thought of these strangers was sending her mind into a downward spiral. She had thought what she was feeling was panic, but was Morgan right? Was it fear?

"Its okay to be afraid Beth." his voice was soft and while he directed it at her Beth felt sure that he was also saying it to remind himself.

She shook her head as she struggled to calm her mind down, to focus on where she was instead of the night before. If she was afraid, then what was she afraid of? The people hadn't seemed to want to hurt her so why was she reacting in such a severe way?

"They think they know me." she finally admitted in a tiny voice as she tried to blink the dark spots out of her left eye to better focus on the man before her.

"They do." a small noise of frustration slipped out of her throat at Morgan's words. They did not know her, not this version of her.

"Or at least they did once. But I know you too. And I know that you don't run from the things that scare you. That change?"

Morgan's gaze seemed to lock her in place as Beth thought it over. He was right, running wasn't usually her style. Was she going to let these people change that about her?

XxX

For a moment the group was quiet, letting his words sink in.

"Her memories might come back to her with time." Eugene admitted in a drawl from where he stood near the door. Everyone looked at him, causing him to flinch under the pressure of all their gazes. "All depends on what parts of her brain were damaged by the bullet." it looked like he was about to keep going but Tara reached over to touch his arm, shaking her head at him as everyone's faces paled under yet another reminder that Beth had been shot in the head.

 _But she survived._ Daryl whispered to himself, remembering the day she flung those words at him in a fury.

Maggie's voice was soft as it cut through his memories to ask, "What if she never remembers?"

Daryl's heart skipped a beat at the thought. He knew that Beth's memories were gone, that her mind was damaged from the bullet, but he was still accepting the fact that she was _alive._ He hadn't even yet begun to consider the possibility that her memories would never return to her.

At first it was the selfish part of his brain that reacted to this thought. That realized that she might never remember serious piggybacks or white trash brunches or how she single-handedly gave him faith and kept his spirit alive after the prison. But then other things came to him and he realized that Beth might never remember the sound of Lori's laugh or her father's smile. Yes there were things he himself wished he could forget but he would never trade any of his good memories to get rid of one of the bad. The bad ones made the good ones even more precious, made them mean more.

He needed both the memories to keep him going sometimes, to remember things could be worse or that they might just get better.

But Beth, she had neither.

XxX

"Look I won't tell you what to do but," Morgan sighed as he watched her with heavy eyes. "Just think about staying alright? Whatever it is you're looking for, whatever you think you'll find in DC, its already here Beth. You already found it."

Beth was still processing his words when he turned to walk away. Her voice came out smaller than she had ever heard it as she finally asked the question that had been pressing on her since the night before.

"Do you think they're telling the truth?" Her mind was going haywire and she could barely get the next sentence out, could barely allow her brain to form such a thought let alone her mouth. "Do you really think they're my family?"

Morgan's eyes held a sadness that she could not even begin to fathom as he turned back to her and whispered. "Beth, they have no reason to lie."

XxX

"It's possible." Eugene paused to clear his throat as everyone stared at him in the hopes that he would tell Maggie that of course Beth would eventually get her memories back. Instead he whispered, "It's entirely possible that the part of her brain that stores memories was too badly damaged. If that's the case then they will never return to her."

Daryl's blood ran cold as Eugene's words began to sink into him. The Beth he knew, the Beth he remembered and dreamed of, that might not be the same Beth here now. And even if she was the same (but how could she be the same Beth without the memories of their past? Of _her_ past?) she still didn't know of the things they had all faced together, or even of the things that she had faced alone. It was possible that she would never know the memories he had to cling onto in the worst of times to keep him going. She might never know all the things that brought their group together, that made them more than just fellow survivors but family. The truth of it hit him so hard he had to struggle to breath.

She might never remember what he would never forget.

XxX

Her breathing was growing unsteady at the very idea that she had a family let alone that her family was within her reach. Part of her felt as though she should run through the streets until she found them, beg them to tell her everything they knew, about her and about each other. But the larger part of her flinched and cowered from the very thought. All she wanted to do was go find somewhere small and quiet and hunker down until all this was over. She should stay, the rational part of her brain knew she should stay, but she still wasn't sure if she actually _wanted_ to. And even if she did stay she knew she could not be close to those people, not yet. Her mind would not be able to handle the looks of familiarity on their faces as they stared at her.

She could not promise Morgan she would stay but she could tell him the truth. "I can't be near them."

"You don't have to be. Not until you want to." Morgan sounded so sure when he spoke that Beth couldn't help wondering if he was wishing he was in the strangers' place. If he was wishing someone he thought was dead would return to him alive. Even if they couldn't remember him.

It was all becoming to much for her and she could feel her pulse beating rapidly in her temple as she shook her head. "And if I never want to?"

"They'll give you time Beth." he sounded so sure but Beth still did not believe him. Was he only saying how he would feel? He didn't know these strangers either so how could he be so sure?

But maybe he knew more about this kind of thing than she was giving him credit for. Regardless, he was the only person she had to talk to about all of this. Her voice was the smallest of whispers as she asked the final question on her mind, "How much time?"

Morgan gave a dry laugh as he looked at her. There was no humor in it but Beth could hear the pain as he whispered, "For you? Forever."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: there is very brief mention of self harm in the first section.

Morgan agreed to do her yet another kindness and go and talk to her _family_. The word still sent Beth into a panic but with each time she thought it the panic ebbed a margin. She still felt no connection to the word or to the people whose faces she had seen briefly the night before. Her mind was the same as it always had been, it was as though she had never existed before Edwards saved her life.

Of course the problem was that she _had_.

She knew that much to be true of course. People did not just pop into existence at her age. And even if she hadn't been aware of that fact (which thank God she was. Just thinking of the awkward conversations not knowing that bit of knowledge could have led her to have made her cringe) she could tell that her body had been around for a lot longer than her mind.

Her body held the memory of past experiences that her mind could not recall. Beth had long since learned the location of every single scar on her body and spent countless hours wondering about their sources.

There were the obvious ones on her face: the small circular bullet wound on her forehead and the exit wound near the crown of her head (thankfully the parts of her hair that Edwards had shaved off were growing back in enough to cover it), those ones she knew the source. But the jagged scar on her cheek and the matching one on her forehead were a mystery to her as were the small scar across her stomach and upper right thigh. The one on her left knee that looked like she fell on something and then there was a small one on her right hand, nearly invisible unless seen in a certain light by someone who knew where to look. And of course there was the one on her left wrist.

This was the one Beth was always the most curious of, the placement led her to believe she had given it to herself because she had no idea how else it could have gotten there. However it had come to her body Beth had taken to rubbing it with her right hand whenever she needed the reminder that she existed long before her memory began.

It seemed she was going to rub the skin around it raw that morning.

XxX

Daryl wasn't sure how long the group sat discussing what to do about Beth, he had long since tuned out their words as he struggled to come to terms with the fact that while Beth was alive she was not the same Beth that he remembered. He was still trying to wrap his mind fully around the alive part when there was a knock on the door.

He was on his feet in an instant and pushing past Rosita and Abraham to reach the front door, certain that it would be Beth on the other side. Perhaps she had remembered during the night and she was coming to see them, to hold them and tell them that everything was going to be okay now. That she remembered them. That she remembered _him._

Daryl wrenched the door open and felt his heart plummet to his stomach as he took in the sight of Morgan standing in the doorway.

Of course it wasn't Beth.

Daryl cursed himself for getting his hopes up, he had seen firsthand how Beth was the night before, seen the complete lack of recognition for her sister and the rest of them in her eyes. It was going to take a lot more than one night for her memories to resurface, in fact it might even take a miracle. Beth had already survived what should have been (what he _thought_ had been) a fatal head wound, Daryl still didn't know if he believed in miracles but Beth might have already used up her fill.

"Did Beth tell you anything?" her name broke through Daryl's increasingly depressing thoughts and he turned back to the room to watch Glenn get to his feet as Morgan came into the room. Maggie reached up to grasp her husband's hand as the man nodded.

"She told me what she remembers." Morgan sank down into Daryl's recently vacated seat and looked out at them all with heavy eyes. Daryl felt his pulse begin to quicken, perhaps Beth remembered some things after all. Something small, or perhaps someone that they had lost. She had to remember _something,_ didn't she?

"Beth says the first thing she can recall is waking up in a hospital. Says a doctor named Edwards treated her injury but she left the hospital after she healed."

Daryl held his breath as he waited for the man to keep going, the room around him was quiet as everyone processed his words. Daryl kept waiting for Morgan to continue, because of course there had to be more. That couldn't be all Beth knew. As he waited for Morgan to tell them what small bits of memory Beth had from before her injury he felt a surge of gratitude that he had not open fired and killed all of the people at the hospital as he had wanted to do when Beth was shot. If he had acted on that impulse then Beth truly would be dead.

Xxx

Groaning Beth let her head fall to rest against the table where she sat. She had been trying in vain all morning to try and recall any sort of memory of her life before her wound. All she had received for her efforts was a wall of silence and a pounding headache behind her eyes.

She kept waiting for something to pop out at her, to come to her in a flash as the memory of the DC spoon had but her other memories were proving to be far more secured than that one had been. She had considered humming the song the old man had been singing when the image had come to her but a strange sense of fear held her back. While she wanted to remember something to prove to herself that the people here were not lying she did not want every memory her brain had erased to surge back to her at once.

The idea of it terrified her.

Beth did not know what she was truly hoping to gain from an exercise that she was only halfheartedly participating in. Truthfully, she was only even doing it because Morgan had requested it of her. He promised he would not read her memories but told her that it might help her to write them out, that maybe it would make it easier for her to piece them all together.

He had not realized that she was not only trying to complete a puzzle without the guide of a picture but with only one piece out of ten thousand.

XxX

"Does she remember anything else?" Carol asked from across the room. Silently Daryl thanked her for asking the question he was to scared to even think but the second he caught sight of Morgan shaking his head no Daryl wished no one had asked it.

The awful truth of it all began to really sink into him, Beth's memory began after she was shot. Not only did she have no idea who any of them were but she had no idea who she was. And if her memories never came back she might never know.

Daryl drew a ragged breath and shook his head to shake the thoughts from his brain. She was still alive.

_Beth is still alive._

That was something he had never expected, had never even let himself imagine to be true. But he had spent so long mourning her, seeing her when she was not truly there, that having her returned to them like this was like a twisted cosmic gift.

_She's still Beth._

Daryl tried to remind himself but the words sounded hollow even to his own ears. She was Beth of course, but not his Beth, not their Beth.

Knowing she had no idea who any of them were felt a bit like losing her all over again. Daryl kept trying to push the thought away but it remained stubbornly lodged in his mind and no matter how many times he reminded himself that she was still alive it didn't budge.

XxX

Trying to rub the black spots from her vision Beth sighed again and tapped her pencil on the edge of the almost empty paper. This whole exercise was proving to be as futile as she had expected as she stared down at the page where she had written all of two words, _DC spoon_. That was it. That was the only memory her brain had managed to procure from her life before she was shot.

The nearly blank page seemed to be mocking her and the pain behind her eyes was only increasing the longer she stared down at it. Beth suddenly felt the burning desire to rip the page to shreds or throw it into a fire or-

_Fire._

The pencil slipped from her suddenly limp fingers as an image came to her: her own hands, pale and slender, ripping pages from a book and leaning forward to feed them into a small fire.

XxX

Daryl did not know how long everyone sat questioning Morgan for every last detail he knew about Beth and what had happened to her since they left her ( _No. Since he **dropped** her._ ) Only bits and fragments of their conversations made it past the whirlwind of thoughts in Daryl's mind. He only managed to stay focused enough to catch one full exchange.

"Daryl says we shouldn't push Beth. That we should let her remember on her own." Maggie had managed to hold off the wort of her tears and her eyes were red rimmed but dry as she directed her comment at Beth's traveling companion. The stranger who in a room full of her own family now knew Beth the best.

The man's gaze turned to him then and Daryl found himself glaring back. He was looking out for Beth, surely Morgan had to see that, the man must have seen Beth's panic with being confronted with her past before. He stared at Daryl for a long moment before he finally nodded and agreed, "Probably for the best. She doesn't like to be told what to do."

Daryl couldn't help but feel slightly pleased that at least one thing he knew about Beth was still true.

Soon half of the morning had past, their members slowly trickling out as they had to head to their various jobs around the small community. There were no such thing as vacation days anymore and even having one of your loved ones return from the dead wasn't a good enough excuse to slack off these days. Soon even Daryl himself had to leave and he retreated to his room to grab his crossbow certain that he was not the best person to go stand guard on the fence at the moment as preoccupied as his brain was by other things. Well one thing, with Beth.

He was just reaching the end of the hallway, ready to turn the corner and head out the door when he was stopped in his tracks by the soft sound of Morgan saying Beth's name.

XxX

Her heart pounding Beth quickly bent to retrieve her pencil from where it had rolled under the table. Her hand was shaking as she quickly wrote out her second memory on the page. The smallest of smiles ghosted her lips as she realized that she had remembered not just one thing, but two. Maybe it would take the course of several years but she might just be able to get all of her memories back one day.

The thought excited her almost as much as it terrified her.

XxX

Back pressed flat against the wall of the hallway Daryl turned his head so that the hushed voice of the men in the other room would reach him.

"I didn't want to say this in front of the others, they seemed upset enough as it was." the heavy sigh Morgan let out made Daryl's fingers curl tighter around his crossbow. There was something else that would upset the group? The man had just told them Beth had no idea who any of them were and he knew something that might upset them _more?_

The faint scrape of a chair being pulled out from the table reached him and Daryl knew without having to look that Rick had just sat back down. For a moment Daryl wondered if he should sit as well, or find some way to brace himself against the words but there was no time as Morgan had already resumed speaking.

"This morning...Beth was going to leave."

It was lucky he had been holding his bow so tightly or he would have likely dropped it in shock.

_Beth, leave?_

Surely he must have heard Morgan wrong but Daryl heard Rick's heavy sigh and could just imagine the man placing his head in his hands for a moment as he paused to collect his thoughts.

Daryl's own thoughts were in a whirlwind. Beth had just gotten there, had just been proved to actually be _alive_ and she wanted to go? To just abandon them so soon after her return?

He had not even begun to process the thought when Morgan spoke again. Daryl straightened and looked around desperately for a way to block out the man's voice, it seemed all he knew how to do was inflict pain in Daryl.

He did not move quickly enough for the words drifted down the hallway to fill his ears.

"She's confused and terrified." there was a brief pause and Daryl used the time to head towards the front door. He was going to be late for his guard shift anyway and he could not bear to hear anymore words come out of that man's mouth.

The word 'leave' was still bouncing around his head as he wrenched open the front door but Daryl had not yet made it outside before Morgan spoke again.

"She's afraid of you. All of you."

XxX

She kept waiting for another flash of memory to come to her but she was only met with silence. Finally the quiet of her mind and the immense silence of the house around her began to overwhelm her. The air was starting to feel heavy and each breath she took seemed to take an exorbitant amount of effort. Beth was beginning to feel suffocated by the lack of noise, even her own breath seemed too loud in this tomb of a house.

She pushed back her chair so quickly that it tipped over backwards but by the time it crashed to the floor she was already slipping out of the front door, the page with her memories written on it crinkled in her clenched fist.

XxX

He didn't remember walking across the streets to the wall, nor did he remember climbing up the platform that jutted out from the top of it, all he could think about were Morgan's words. Not only was Beth afraid of them but she wanted to leave them.

Daryl did not know which part of it hurt him more. There had been a time when he would not have been surprised to learn that Beth Greene was scared of him. He was rough and and dark and most of the people in their group had been scared of him at one point or another. When he had fled the prison with Beth at his heels he had expected their following days to be spent in a tense silence. He had originally thought that the cause of it would be Beth's fear of him but instead it was his own fears and guilt that had been the cause.

Beth had never been afraid of him, not really. It seemed as though she had always been able to look past his hard exterior to see the man underneath. But now, without her memories of their time together, now what would he be to her? He had seen her look at the faces of her family with fear in her eyes just the night before. Daryl knew how much that hurt and he did not know if he would be able to stand seeing that look in her eyes again.

But if she acted on the impulse Morgan had told Rick about, if she truly left like she wanted to, then Daryl wouldn't ever have to see that look. But he wouldn't get to see any of her looks. He would rather see her look at him like he was a stranger than wake up one morning and find her gone.

It didn't matter that Beth didn't remember them yet what mattered now was that she didn't _leave._

XxX

It felt as though every person she passed was staring at her.

Realistically she knew that they weren't. Not all of the strangers she passed were the ones that had been in that house the night before. In fact of them she only saw one. She caught sight of the woman with the long dreadlocks walking down the street in front of her so Beth turned and cut between two houses. She had expected the move to lead her out onto another street but instead she found herself facing the wall that gated in the community.

She was the only one standing on that side of the houses and Beth let out a sigh of relief as the feeling of being stared at diminished. Maybe she was wrong and no one was looking at her or they were only doing so because hers was a new face. Yet no matter what she told herself she could not shake the feeling that they were all staring at her because they knew. They knew who she was and her story, probably better than she did.

Beth wrapped her arms around herself for a moment as she tried to fight off the fresh wave of panic that was beginning to crest over her. Leaving the house while others were out had been a mistake. All she had wanted was fresh air, not to be stared at like an animal in a zoo. She was just deciding to go and find a small place to hunker down in for a while when her gaze landed on a familiar form standing on a small platform roughly ten yards away.

Her feet began to move in his direction of their own accord.

XxX

The sound of someone climbing up the rungs to the platform hit him and Daryl turned quickly to look down at who was coming up to see him. He was expecting to see Rick, Carol or perhaps even Michonne so he nearly fell over the wall at the sight of a familiar blonde head making its way up to him.

Beth climbed up onto the platform before he could even think to reach a hand down to help her up. For a moment they simply stood and stared at each other, Beth looking almost confused to find herself up there beside him and Daryl quietly reminding himself that it was not a hallucination. Neither of them said anything and after a moment she merely crossed her arms over her chest and stared out at the distance beyond the fence.

They stood in silence for a long time. It is not the companionable silences they began to have after they had burned down the moonshine shack and their demons together, nor was it the tense silence that had consumed their waking hours after they first fled the prison. It was not even the silence they had sat in the night before as they held on to each other's hands like they were the only things left in the world.

For a moment Daryl began to find himself wondering if perhaps the reason Beth seemed to be seeking him out was because deep down some part of her remembered him. Morgan had said that she was afraid of them yet here she was. Standing only a foot away on the tiny wooden platform beside him. If he wanted to he could reach out his hand and brush her arm, touch her and feel yet again how alive she truly was.

The longer she stood beside him the more questions began to rattle around in his brain. He wanted to ask her so many things but the group had all already promised not to talk to Beth about their past unless she brought it up first. Still so many things were burning in his brain, the main one being if she still intended to leave. Was she standing up there with him to help herself plan which way she wanted to go when she left him?

The more time that passed the more he wanted to ask her if she was going to leave. In fact the question was just on the tip of his tongue when she spoke.

Beth was still staring out over the wall as she whispered so softly he almost didn't hear her, "It's beautiful."

And suddenly Daryl was no longer standing on a platform ten feet off the ground in open air but in a basement that smelled of rot and decay with two corpses beside him. Some form of noise must have made it's way past his lips because suddenly Beth was turning her gaze on him. Her eyes were as wide and blue as ever and Daryl didn't know if it was his imagination or wishful thinking but he could swear he saw something familiar in her eyes as she whispered,

"Don't you think it's beautiful?"

XxX

The man was looking at her like she was either a ghost or a gift and Beth couldn't help but shift uncomfortably under his gaze. She shouldn't have said anything, shouldn't have started a conversation when she still wasn't even sure what she was doing standing up there with him. Beth met his eyes for a moment before turning her gaze back out to the world.

The view from the platform was breathtaking. The afternoon sun was shining down on the trees that ringed their walls. Far off on the horizon she could just make out the tips of tall buildings and from this distance she could not see all of the rot and decay marring them. There were no walkers making their shambling way towards them and Beth even caught sight of a bird flying through the trees. It was beautiful.

After a moment the man stopped gaping at her and turned his head to face the outside of the walls. Beth watched from the corner of her eye as his face seemed to soften as he took in for what she imagined was the first time the beauty of the world surrounding them. The town behind them seemed to fall silent and for a moment it was as if the only things left in the world were her and this man standing on top of the world

XxX

He wasn't sure how long they continued to stand in silence admiring the view before she spoke again.

"What's," Beth trailed off for a moment as if she was unsure of what she was about to say. Daryl tore his eyes from the world outside of the wall they stood on to look at her. He did not know what fascinated him more; the fact that she was alive beside him or the way that the sunlight shone on her blonde hair. He watched as Beth chewed on her lower lip (a nervous habit he had not yet realized that he had missed) and turned to face him. Her blue eyes were clear and wide as she asked.

"What's your name?"

XxX

The pain the question caused him was evident instantaneously. The corners of his mouth drooped as his hands tightened on the crossbow he held so easily. Beth couldn't help marveling at the strength he must have to hold the heavy bow aloft, she likely couldn't lift it very high off the ground herself. Above all it was his eyes that showed her how much the question had truly hurt him.

Before, he had been looking at her like she was some irreplaceable thing that he had lost but that had somehow managed to find it's way back to him. He was still looking at her like that only now she could finally see the truth sinking in.

His irreplaceable thing had been broken.

She felt a strange mixture of guilt, anger and remorse at his pain. Guilt because she did not like to be the cause of other's misery even when it had been unintentional, anger because she did not enjoy being looked at like she was damaged property., and remorse because she wanted so desperately to know who the man standing beside her was. Who all of them were.

But she didn't and there was nothing she could do to change that except learn.

XxX

Even the air seemed to sting his lungs as he drew a deep breath and turned away from her. Daryl silently cursed himself for being so stupid, he knew that she didn't remember anything why did he not tell her his name the second she had joined him at his post?

Part of it, of course, was that they had all agreed not to tell Beth anything that she didn't ask but Daryl would be lying to himself if he didn't say that part of it also wasn't that he had been holding on to a thin shred of hope that a part of Beth remembered him. At least _some_ part of him.

But it seemed that what Morgan had told them that morning was true, Beth remembered nothing. And if she didn't remember then Daryl was simply going to have to remind her.

He had to clear a sudden lodge in his throat before he managed to get his name out. Beth stared at him for a long moment and his heart suddenly began to beat faster at the thought that perhaps hearing his name might have triggered something inside of her, lodged some damaged hidden memory loose.

Beth was still staring at him as she whispered his name back.

"Daryl."

XxX

Beth waited for something to flicker inside of her, waited for the name to shake her memories out of whatever secret place they had gone to. For a long moment her and the man ( _Daryl_ ) simply stared at each other, both of them waiting with bated breath for _something_ to happen. For some part of herself, her past, to come back to her.

There was only silence.

He must have seen the lack of recognition in her eyes even with knowing his name for he opened his mouth to speak, perhaps even to ask her if she did remember him. Whatever he was planning on saying Beth suddenly found that she could not bear to hear it, not then. So she did the first thing that popped into her mind, the thing you always do when a stranger tells you their name.

"I'm Beth."

Immediately she cursed herself for of course he already knew that, that was their whole problem. She turned away from him and waited for him to laugh at her, to make some comment on her mistake but the only noise that reached them came from both sides of the fence they stood on: the sound of animals and leaves rustling from the life outside the fence and the soft sound of people living their lives from behind it.

Beth suddenly felt as if she was standing on a border straddling two separate worlds. The thought brought her comfort strangely enough, for she herself was caught between two worlds, two Beths. The Beth these people once knew and the Beth that she had become.

She found herself wondering if she had a wall settled between the two halves of her self as well. If she would only ever be able to live on one side and never get to stand on the border like she is now. Would she only ever get to be one or the other? If she remembered who she was would she lose who she had become?

Her temple was beginning to throb when Daryl's voice cut through the panic forming in her mind.

There was still pain heavily evident in his tone but she could also hear something that sounded faintly like relief and wonder. But most of all she heard a convincing edge (and for the life of her she did not know which one of them he was trying to convince) as he whispered, "Yeah. You're Beth."


	5. Chapter 5

He kept his eyes closed for a long moment when he woke up, unwilling to surrender himself back to the harshness of reality.

He had dreamed of Beth again, as he so often did, but this time the dream had been a good one. Daryl had dreamed that they had stayed at the funeral home where he first lost her, had stayed there and grown old side by side together. Even as they aged Beth never looked at him like he was unfamiliar, not like she had done the night before when she spoke his name as though it was the first time it had ever touched her lips.

He laid in his bed for a long moment, eyes shut tight as he tried to commit every single detail of his dream to memory. Soon enough the sounds of his housemates filled his ears and Daryl knew his brief respite was over. He had to get up and face the world as it was, to go about his business as if the idea of Beth walking around the town with no idea who anybody was was not killing him.

The day before had been like a surreal dream. She had stood up there on the platform with him almost his entire guard shift, neither of them speaking after their introductions. Daryl simply couldn't find any words to say to her that wouldn't cause her to fall into that state of blind panic he had witnessed on that first night, the night he was so convinced she wasn't even real. He knew she was real now, each time he looked at her the more his expectation for her to fade from sight waned.

But the more he accepted that she was really there the more questions he began to have, questions to which he had no way get answers.

He wanted to know what had happened to her, both before she was shot and after. He wanted to pick her brain for any small memory that she might have retained. Morgan did not know the right way to question her without causing her to panic. Did not know how to ask her if she remembered gray prison walls or green farm fields or any small nonsensical memory that might have managed to cling itself inside her brain.

But above all Daryl just wanted to ask her if she was still planning on leaving.

XxX

The morning air held a slight chill to it as Beth sat curled up on the front steps of the house. The sun was just rising and from where she sat she could see it make its slow ascent up over the houses laying before her. There was no one out on the streets yet, no one making their way to jobs or friend's houses. She was all alone out there, her only companion the chirping birds and the rising sun.

And of course, the incessant press of her thoughts.

She had been unable to truly sleep the night before, her mind racing with unanswered questions and crazy plans. Beth kept trying to think of ways to convince herself to ask the people what they knew about her past but every time she tried to think up a way to do it she started to hyperventilate. She spent the majority of the night huddled on the floor of her closet humming in a desperate and futile attempt to block out the sound of her own thoughts.

It did not take very long of that to realize that simply asking people for her memories was not going to work for her. If the very idea of it sent her into that state she highly doubted that actually hearing the memories would go over very well for her. She still wasn't even sure if she wanted to have her memories back, if she was ready to face them or her past self.

There were just so many questions that she wanted answers to, such as how was she shot and separated from this group that called themselves her family. The word still made her heart race in fear but it no longer made her want to rush towards the walls in a desperate attempt to escape it.

The more time that passed the more questions she began to have (just who were all of those people? Surely they couldn't _all_ be related to her.) and the more she began to admit to herself that Morgan was right.

She wouldn't find her answers in DC.

But as she lay curled into herself on the floor the night before the thought of leaving had resurfaced many times as a way to escape her panic.

She had agreed to try, for Morgan's sake, for the strangers' sake, hell even for her sake.

But she had never agreed on how long she would try for.

XxX

Carl grinned at him as Daryl slid into the vacant seat at the kitchen table, reaching for a piece of toast (well they called it toast but it was really just plain bread warmed by their fire) even though his stomach was to knotted up with worries to feel actual hunger. Rick and Michonne were watching him closely though, trying to see just how much Beth's return had affected him, how much they should be worried. Daryl knew they all had enough on their plates to worry about without adding himself into the mix so he forced himself to take small bites of the bread even though it tasted like cardboard in his mouth.

"I just can't believe she's back." Carl said as he ripped up a piece of bread into tiny pieces to pass to Judith (who seemed more interested in mushing the bread between her fingers than actually eating it). Daryl had the sense he had walked into an on going conversation but he did not have to guess what they were talking about.

Rick made a small noise of agreement before he tore his eyes from his children to look at Daryl with an all to familiar look of worry and concern. "Yeah, it's been a big shock for all of us." For a moment Daryl wondered if he too could still remember the feel of her blood splattering across his face.

"When do you think we can see her?" Carl asked, trying to hide the hopeful tone in his voice. Daryl remembered then how close they had become at the prison before they started taking in other people, back when Beth was the only person even close to Carl's age.

"She might not want to see us for a while." Michonne said softly as she leaned over to place a piece of bread into Judith's mouth, trying to convince her it was food and not a toy. "She was badly hurt. Might take a while to come back from that."

Daryl began to rip up the piece of bread in his hands, feeling as though her words were directed more towards him than Carl. As he did so he realized Judith might have been onto something, the stuff they made in the kitchens here was far better as a stress reliever than actual food.

The four of them sat in near silence for a long moment, the only sounds Judith soft cooing as she played with her food, as they all tried to come to terms with the truth. Beth was there, they could see her and touch her and hear her because she was _alive_ , but they couldn't be near her.

Or really, she couldn't be near them.

Daryl suddenly pushed back from the table, the chair scraping loudly against the floor as he stood. The others cast him curious and worried looks but he merely shrugged and muttered something about needing to get to guard duty. Rick opened his mouth to say something, probably to reiterate one of the many things he had said the night before when he cornered Daryl in an attempt to get him to talk about how he was coping with Beth's return. The problem was that Daryl wasn't really coping so Rick had done most of the talking while Daryl listened and tried to believe what the man was saying. ( _She might remember us one day Daryl and if she doesn't, well she's still alive. That's something right?)_

Swinging his crossbow over his shoulder Daryl muttered a quick goodbye, knowing from the look on Rick's face they'd likely have another conversation on the matter that night. Swallowing her last bite of toast Michonne stood as well.

"I'll walk with you. We're going on a run into the city today. They want us there early."

Rick and Carl's calls of be careful were met with a nod from Michonne as the duo walked out the door into the cold morning air.

XxX

Morgan had offered to walk her to the small make shift clinic before he headed to work on the construction crew but Beth had politely refused him. If she did decide to stay in the town she would need to know how to find her way around it so she might as well start on that today. He gave her very clear directions before he headed off towards the gate, the crew he was on was working on expanding the area that the wall contained but to do that they first had to length the wall itself. Morgan told her it was hard work but it would be worth it when they got to open the community up more.

More people were coming out onto the streets as Beth made her way to the the building they used as a doctor's office. Morgan had convinced her she needed to go to make sure the illness she had arrived with was in fact gone and that if she was planning on staying here ( _was she?_ ) then she should probably meet up with the doctor every now and then to make sure her 'side effects' from the bullet wound weren't getting any worse.

It seemed so strange to think of them as side effects, to liken them to getting nauseous after taking a certain medication, but Beth could think of no other way to describe the lingering problems her wound had given her. While she had regained full use of the fingers of her left hand she still felt nothing in them. She could now feel the pressure when she touched something with them but she could not tell if it was cold or hot, rough or smooth. The black spots in her left eye had not improved at all since she had woken up in the hospital but she was just thankful that they hadn't gotten any worse. The loss of her memory was of course her biggest problem and the hardest thing to try to 'fix'.

But all in all her side effects were nothing compared to what could have happened to her. After all what was memory loss when compared to being dead?

XxX

Daryl found himself grateful that Michonne did not press him as they walked down the street together. Neither of them were big conversationalist and they had learned early on in their friendship that they only needed to speak when something had to be said, they did not need to fill the empty air around them with words.

She too had spoken to him the night before when he had returned wide eyed and confused after his guard shift. She had told him she had seen Beth standing up on the platform with him and just wanted to make sure that they were both doing okay. Perhaps it was because he trusted her or perhaps it was because he had been so shook up by all of that he would have spoken to anyone about it but for once Daryl hadn't lied.

He had told her about how they didn't really speak except when Beth had asked about his name (he didn't tell her about Beth telling him that the view from the platform was beautiful because just like Beth Michonne would not have understood the full meaning of that exchange). Daryl didn't even bother to hide how much it had hurt him when Beth asked him for his name, how even though he had known she didn't remember him, knowing it and being so obviously reminded of it were two vastly different things.

Michonne had sat and listened, did not press him to tell her more then the few quick sentences he gave her or try to invalidate his feelings with platitudes that it would be okay. She just let him hurt but Daryl was grateful for it. He didn't need people to keep telling him to be glad that Beth was alive, because of course he was glad, he was over joyed with the knowledge. He just needed someone besides himself and Rick to acknowledge with him the fact that most of them seemed to find harder to believe than Beth surviving the gunshot wound to the head.

She didn't know who they were.

XxX

She had not been walking long before she saw a familiar form walking in her direction. Two familiar forms she realized after a moment as she recognized the woman walking beside Daryl to be one of the people who she had seen briefly the other night. They were walking her way and Beth felt a flare of panic at the thought. For a moment she considered turning and running back to her house but she forced herself to stay where she was.

She had agreed to try after all and turning and running was not trying. Besides Morgan was right, she did not run from the things that scared her. That first night had been a moment of weakness but one could not afford to be weak anymore. Not in this world.

With that thought in mind Beth straightened her shoulders and headed straight for the pair.

XxX

They walked in companionable silence down the streets that were slowly filling with people but as they turned a corner a soft nudge on his arm caused Daryl to glance over at Michonne, following her gaze to a familiar petite blonde girl who was walking towards them determinedly.

Daryl's breath hitched in his throat and he felt a flare of panic as he realized that he was unsure of what to do it this situation. Beth had sought him out the day before, did that mean he could say hello to her without fear of scaring her? Should he walk by like he did not know her, but how could he ever do that? He did know her it was her that didn't remember.

Thankfully the choice was made for him as Beth, who looked ready to turn around and run in the other direction at a moment's notice, slowly stopped in front of them. She dug the toe of her boot nervously into the ground as she cast a nervous look between the two of them.

"Hi." Beth swallowed hard as she crossed her arms tightly over her chest. "Daryl."

Hearing his name come from her mouth felt like feeling the sun on his skin after spending weeks in a downpour. Perhaps it was that blissful nearly drunken feeling fueling him that gave him the courage to speak her name aloud too. "Hey Beth."

They stood staring at each other for a moment, blue eyes locked on blue, before her gaze flickered to Michonne briefly. Daryl was unsure if telling Beth her name went against their rule of only telling her what she asked but he figured that since she had already asked him for his name that it wouldn't hurt her to tell her one more.

"This is Michonne." he said quickly, watching Beth's face closely for any flicker of recognition.

Just as he had been dreading, there was nothing.

XxX

_Michonne._

Beth quickly committed the name to memory as she stared at the woman's serious face trying to get either one to spark something in her mind. Nothing came, not that she had been expecting it to.

Silently she promised herself that if nothing else she would learn their names. Even if she did end up leaving Beth would still learn the names of all the people who called themselves her family. That way she would at least have that, even if she could not connect anything else to it besides the knowledge that they had once known her. She would learn their names and maybe that would help her begin to make some form of sense as to how they were all her family.

But Beth couldn't handle much more at the moment besides hearing a name. She muttered a quick hello to the woman before scooting around the pair _(Michonne and Daryl,_ she reminded herself forcefully) and heading off in the direction of the clinic. Just before she turned the corner she cast a quick look over her shoulder not the slightest bit surprised when her eyes immediately locked onto Daryl's, who was watching her walk away with a strange look of pain and something else that she couldn't quite place in his eyes.

XxX

"She knows our names now Daryl. That's progress." Michonne's voice caused Daryl to tear his eyes from Beth's and look back at her. The ghost of a smile crossed her face as she reassured him. "That's a good thing."

After a moment's pause Daryl nodded in agreement.

She was right of course, it was a good thing. So was the fact that as far as he could tell Beth hadn't panicked upon hearing Michonne's name, she also hadn't looked nearly half as frightened as she had the first night she returned to their lives. She now knew two of their groups names, it was more than she had come into the town knowing.

Now Daryl just had to hope she would stick around long enough to learn anything else.

XxX

The doctor who saw her was a sweet woman with bright red hair named Denise Cloyd. It was not the same doctor who she had met very briefly in her feverish haze upon arrival and Beth found herself to be immensely glad. She could not recall much about the man but she remembered finding his bedside manner to be rather harsh.

Denise took Beth temperature and checked her vitals in a methodical routine approach that led Beth to believe she had been a doctor for a long time. Soon they came to an agreement that the illness that had been plaguing Beth when she arrived had officially run its course. All to soon Denise began to ask Beth careful questions about her injury, running her fingers lightly over the entry and exit wounds the bullet left after quietly asking Beth for permission.

"The doctor who saved you did marvelous work." the doctor whispered, seeming to be speaking more to herself than Beth. She dropped her fingers away from Beth's face and smiled softly at her. "Although I think you mostly just got lucky. Now why don't we check on your vision?"

Beth did not need to take the series of tests Denise put her through (holding a spoon over her good eye and reading letters off a chart across the room and looking at pictures with different colored numbers hidden inside them) to know that the vision in her left eye had not improved. She was grateful just to be able to see out of it at all. Like Denise had said, she was lucky.

The doctor was in the middle of pricking the fingers of Beth's left hand with a pin when there was a loud crash from outside the doors. Denise let out a yelp and turned to run towards the door of the room as the sound of people calling for a doctor filled the small clinic.

Beth didn't know if it was the sound of the injured person moaning or the sight of a drop of blood forming on her finger from a wound she couldn't feel that sent her running out of the room after Denise.

XxX

Michonne and him had parted ways without another word, her to the cars the runners were loading up and Daryl to his post on the gate. For the longest time her words kept bouncing around inside of head, _it's progress._ Not only did Beth now know two of their group's names but she had not seemed frightened to hear it, her breathing hadn't even noticeably sped up like it seemed to do when she was scared or panicked.

Plus, she was the one who had stopped to say hello to them, that had to mean something right?

That was twice now that Beth had sought him out. Daryl did not count that first night, the night he found her singing and they clung to each other's hands. He was the one who had found her that night, even if he had spent the majority of it thinking that she wasn't real.

But Beth was the one who had come to him yesterday and she was the one who had stopped to speak to him today. As far as he knew she had yet to seek out the company of any of the others. So why was she comfortable with coming to him?

XxX

There was blood everywhere.

The injured party was a middle aged man with a gaping wound down his arm. The first question out of Denise's mouth was if it was bite and upon the reassurance from the others with him that it wasn't she sprung into action. People offered to fetch the other two doctors that lived in the town but Denise refused, her hands already cleansed and gloved as she press a clean towel against the man's arm. A few people that Beth took to be others who worked for the clinic bustled around them, fetching whatever Denise called out for as she tried to stop the blood flowing from the man's wound.

It seemed that there had been an incident with a window on one of the runs. The doctor made a comment about them being lucky that they got the man to her in time. Beth wondered idly if she thought everyone was lucky, but perhaps they all simply were. They were all still alive after all.

And perhaps it was mentioning luck again or perhaps she had simply caught sight of Beth standing in the corner of the room, unsure of exactly what she was still doing there, but suddenly Denise was calling out her name and gesturing to the sink in the corner.

"Wash up! I need you to hold this in place for me."

Beth moved quickly, darting around the others as they hurried around the room. Hands clean she took over holding the towel over the groaning man's forearm as Denise began to ready the supplies for stitches. As she held the towel as tightly to the wound as she could Beth felt the man's blood warm on her hands. Surprisingly the feeling of it did not repel her or send her into a panic.

Instead she found herself whispering to the man that it would be okay, letting him cling to her hand as the doctor began to stitch up his forearm.

XxX

Eventually Daryl stopped wondering what it was that made Beth come to him instead of any of the others, instead of her sister or Carl, both of whom she had been closer to than him. Or at least she had been before they had fled from the prison. After that Daryl didn't know who Beth would say she was the closest to. But of course now, neither did she.

That line of thought only ever caused him pain so Daryl tried to distract himself, tried to focus on making sure the area below him was clear. But it didn't take very long for his thoughts to drift back to Beth.

Regardless of the reason Beth felt comfortable enough to come to him, to seek his company instead of anyone else's. Did that mean if he wanted to he could go to her too?

XxX

"Well he lost a lot of blood but he'll survive." Denise sighed in relief as she pushed a loose lock of hair back from her face, a small streak of blood smearing across her forehead. "Might have to send Carol out to find someone with his blood type though."

Beth looked down at the man where he lay in the small bed, his face pale but not as twisted in pain as it was when he first arrived. Once the stitches had been placed in his arm Denise had given the man some painkillers and the drugs had helped to ease the pain enough for the man to drift into a fitful sleep.

The older woman motioned for Beth to leave the room so she did, heading down the hallway for the front door now that she was no longer needed. The sound of footsteps behind her showed her that, to her surprise, Denise was walking out after her. She followed Beth out onto the small front porch where they both sucked in the fresh air which seemed almost sweet after the heavy smell of blood and antiseptic in the clinic.

"You did good in there." Beth glanced over at Denise, surprised to see the doctor watching her in appraisal, her eyes curious from behind her glasses as she asked. "You get your job assignment yet?"

She must have seen the look of puzzlement in Beth's eyes because she elaborated. "Everyone here has a job to do. We don't just get to stay here for free." she gave a small smile as Beth began to rub the scar on her wrist, her hands folded behind her back to hide them as something in Denise's words made her head start to hurt. "You get your job yet?"

Beth had been filled with to many worries to even think about what job assignment she might get. She remembered Morgan talking to her about it in the first few days they had been there but she had still been to sick to work. No one had given her a job yet, although she had met with the leader of the community, Douglas the same day that she had agreed to go to the dinner with Morgan's friend. She supposed after the shock she had gone through that night Morgan had managed to convince the leader to hold off on giving her an assignment.

But if she was just going to decide to leave should she even start any job at all?

XxX

It was lucky his section of the fence wasn't seeing to many walkers the past few days because Daryl's mind was as far from guard duty as it could be. His thoughts had always been preoccupied with Beth but now it was as though he could focus on nothing else.

He spent the whole day trying to think up ways to pick at her memory, asking her about small things that would seem unimportant to anyone else so that no one would guess what he was doing, not even Beth. It had been his idea after all, not to try to jog Beth's memory, and he still stood by that. He would never ask her flat out if she remembered something, never even offer her information she didn't want. He never wanted to be the cause of the fear and blind panic he had seen in her behind that shed. He just wanted to know if anything stood out to her, that if he casually mentioned moonshine did she remember the way it burned so badly in her throat it made her eyes water?

By the time he left the wall though he had talked himself out of it, it was simply to risky of an idea. All it would likely do was cause her panic or make her scared to be near him. And even if Beth never caught on to what he was doing, if she never noticed the way he would ask her strangely pointed questions and then hold his breath while she answered, all it would likely ever do was cause him pain.

And that was all hoping that she stuck around long enough for him to talk to her again.

XxX

"Most people can't handle the blood that we deal with in here. Its not like before, not just colds and the occasional injury. I've had to amputate a bitten arm before." Denise's eyes closed briefly against the images she was likely seeing and for a moment Beth felt the gentle tug of a memory but then Denise spoke again and drew her mind back to the present. "You didn't flinch at that man's wound. I think you'd be a good addition to our team here."

Beth's breath hitched at that. She had never been part of a team before. At the hospital she had been more of a burden, even once she could do odd jobs to help out she could see it in far to many people's eyes the truth that they wished she would have just died with that bullet. Her and Morgan were partners and even friends, but he was capable of taking care of himself and he did not really _need_ her. No what Denise was offering her was something that she had never had before.

She could help people, she could be needed. But was that enough reason to stay here? Here in this walled in town she could be a part of a team and she could work on getting her memories back. With time she could even get to know the people that called her family.

Denise's voice was gentle as she whispered, "You are planning on staying aren't you?"

But it was not the thrill of being needed or the idea of learning about her past that caused her answer. No, it was the sight of a man walking down the street, his dark hair tousled from the wind and that heavy looking crossbow slung across his back. As he came closer their eyes met and maybe they weren't familiar to her from before but they were starting to be familiar to her now. Either way, it was him that had her whispering to Denise.

"Maybe I could stick around for a little while."


	6. Chapter 6

A heavy rain was falling as Daryl eased the front door shut behind him. He welcomed the rain, it brought nothing but good things in his mind. Thankfully the town had traps set up to catch the water, even though they did have running water due to the original set up of the town. Daryl had never thought that he would be grateful for anything the government did but here he was, living in a town that they had built to withstand natural disasters.

He just didn't think this was the kind of thing they'd had in mind.

He headed down the streets, the rain falling on him as he walked slowly to his post, his calm gait out of place as people pushed past him in a rush in an attempt to make it to their destinations without getting their clothes drenched. Daryl didn't bother with the fuss, he was going to be standing outside for hours with no protection, no point trying to delay the inevitable.

A flash of yellow caught his eye then and his gaze was suddenly glued to the back of a jean jacket, blonde ponytail streaming out behind it. His heart hammered in his chest as he watched Beth rush up the steps to the clinic, shaking her jacket to dispose of some of the rain drops as she stood under the small porch awning. Daryl swallowed hard as he watched Beth slip inside the door.

She had gone to the clinic yesterday, was there a problem? Was she sick? Daryl forced himself to calm down and shove his worries to the back of his mind. Part of him wanted to rush after her and check on Beth himself but Daryl knew that was not an option. That action would likely terrify Beth and he did not want to erase any progress the two of them had made by freaking out over what could very well be nothing.

Silently he promised himself that the moment his guard shift was over he would find Carol and demand that she tell him what was so wrong with Beth that she had to go to the clinic two days in a row. She could think of that what she would, he simply needed to know.

For him and for Maggie.

XxX

"Looks like it's starting to come down out there." Denise remarked casually as Beth slipped out of her jacket, hanging it on the coat rack by the door and watching as water dripped off of it to puddle on the floor. "Come meet everyone."

Beth followed the doctor slowly, her hands starting to shake slightly with nerves. Coming back to the clinic that morning had not frightened her, in fact she had barely slept as excited as she was with the prospect of helping other people, but she had not yet thought about the fact that she might have to meet others. That she would have to be introduced to the other people who worked there and to the patients that came through. Beth managed to shove her fears aside as she followed Denise into the front room of the house, listening to her carefully in the hopes that it would calm down her rapid heartbeat.

"Beside me there are two other trained doctors, Neal who works nights." Beth nodded, remembering the dark haired man who saw to her illness when she first arrived. She sincerely hoped that he was always working nights and taking care of whatever odd injuries (she supposed it was for late returning run teams or people arriving such as her and Morgan, perhaps even the odd illness) that came up so that she would not have to see him very often. "And Peter. He should be here later." Denise glanced down at her wrist where Beth was surprised to find a watch strapped.

She had long since forgotten even the notion of time.

The watch, more than anything else, made Beth accept that this little walled in town was actually safe.

Besides the doctors and Beth herself there were three other people who worked in the clinic. Lisa, a middle aged woman with a sweet and easy smile who shook Beth's hand like she was fighting down the urge to hug her. James, who was closer to her age, although still a little older, and who grinned at her in a way that made her think he was used to girls blushing at. Denise told her there was another woman who worked there as well, Carol, who would be there later that morning.

Beth personally thought that they had a lot of people working there for such a small community but as Denise began to give her the tour of the small building she began to realize that they did more there than she had thought.

The building had been someone's home before the turn but they had managed to refurbish it for their uses quite well. The three bedrooms housed patients who needed longer care, the man from the day before was sleeping in one of them but the other two were currently empty. The bathroom seemed to be unchanged and the kitchen had remained mostly the same although one counter had become home to several stocks of medical supplies. The front room had been turned into the main center of work there and by the time Denise had finished giving her the tour Lisa was already seeing a patient, another person sitting in a chair in the corner and clutching a blood soaked rag to their finger. James had already been sent home for it seemed everyone in the town got one day off a week and Denise had asked him to come in on his his just to meet Beth.

As she made her way to the man bleeding in the corner Beth began to realize why they needed so many staff. It seemed everyone was always getting hurt in this town.

XxX

The rain had another bonus to it, it seemed to mask their scent from the walkers. Daryl had been standing up there for at least an hour, if not more, judging from the wetness of his clothes. In that time he had yet to see a single thing move in the space between the wall and the treeline roughly thirty feet away. The rain impaired his vision enough so that he could not see if there was anything hidden in the trees but as time passed with no movement he finally let himself think about what had happened yesterday.

_When he had gotten home the night before all he wanted to do was sleep. He didn't know what was causing the exhausted pull on his eyelids although he suspected it had something to do with the little and restless slumber he had managed to catch since Beth had returned and honestly for a long time before that. So he had frozen in surprise when he had flung open the door to his bedroom and found someone sitting on the corner of his bed, preventing him from falling face first on it like he had wanted._

_Maggie had looked up at him with a start at the sound of the door opening and Daryl found himself horrified when he realized that her eyes were red rimmed. It was not that he had never seen Maggie cry before, he had been there after all when both her father and Beth had died, even if Beth was still alive they hadn't known that at the time. But Daryl had never been good around crying women, or anyone crying really. And this time was different. Daryl did not know the cause of these tears nor did he have any idea as to why she was sitting in his room and preventing him from sleep._

_"Hey." she whispered, clearing her throat at the rough edge to her voice. Daryl has a sudden flash of panic that she wanted to talk to him about Glenn, that for some unknowable reason she had decided to seek him out for relationship advice. Daryl took a step backwards, about to flee from his own room, when her quiet voice filled his ears again._

_"I wanted to talk to you about Beth."_

XxX

After seeing to the two minor injuries Denise was explaining the duties Beth would be expected to perform (they were fairly basic things such as helping people with simple cuts and bruises, keeping the clinic clean, and assisting the doctors whenever they needed) when the front door opened again.

"I checked in on Tom like you asked. His leg is healing just fine. Should be able to walk on it in another day or two." Beth turned to look over her shoulder, catching sight of the speaker standing in the doorway. An older woman, with close cropped gray hair and a serious looking face. The amount of water dripping off her clothes told Beth that the weather outside was only worsening. The woman purposely kept her eyes glued to Denise's face, not even sparing Beth a glance. She could see the rapid rise and fall of the woman's chest but her words were not coming out rushed so she knew that she hadn't run there. Beth was still pondering over the cause of the woman's distress when Denise stood.

"Wonderful news. Thank you for stopping in to see him." the woman in the doorway nodded, turning on her heels to walk away when Denise spoke. "Oh! Carol this is Beth. Beth this is Carol."

Beth rose to her feet quickly, extending her hand on a sudden whim for the woman to shake. She turned back to face Beth slowly, her eyes shutting for the briefest moment before she took Beth's hand.

The second their hands touched Beth knew, she could feel it in the grip the woman clung to her with and she could see it in her wide eyes and the brief flash of pain that crossed her face.

This was not the first time they had met.

XxX

His eyelids felt heavy already and he was not sure if it was because of how he had to squint to see through the sheet of rain falling or if it was because of the very little amount of sleep he had managed to catch after Maggie had left him. It seemed the Greene girls were good at preventing him from getting any sleep.

_Daryl looked at Maggie for a long moment, sitting on his bed with her hands twisting in her lap and her red rimmed eyes staring at him pleadingly, before he crossed back over the threshold into his room. He leaned against the door frame, partially because he didn't want to sit next to her on the bed in fear that she would take it as an invitation to cry on him, but mostly because he felt in control there. Being in the doorway meant that when he wanted to leave he could do so without a problem._

_Neither of them spoke for several minutes, Daryl because he was still unsure as to why Maggie was seeking him out and Maggie because she seemed to need to gather her thoughts. He tried to resist glaring at her for stealing his bed and invading his room when all he wanted was to sleep but the longer they sat there in silence the more his annoyance grew._

_"I just, I hadn't realized how close you two had gotten." she finally admitted, shrugging as she looked down at her hands. "After the prison I mean." she took a deep breath and Daryl shifted uncomfortably, feeling strangely like Maggie was about to give him one of those protective older sibling talks he had never wanted to be a part of._

_"I guess I'm not that surprised." she continued, looking up at him with her brow crinkled. "Sasha, Bob and I grew closer as well." Her voice choked on Bob's name and Daryl looked down at his boots while he himself felt a flare of grief for the man who's last moments he had missed. But he did not regret it, choosing to go after that car with Carol, and somehow Daryl knew that Bob understood. He would rather have forfeited his goodbyes to both of them if it meant finding Beth. And it had, even though for a long time Daryl thought he had lost Beth too._

_"But you and Beth, you didn't get close like we did." a subtle change in her voice caused Daryl to look over at her again, surprised to find her eyes searching his face for something he couldn't name as she continued, "You two got closer in a different way."_

XxX

She barely had enough time to rush out an 'excuse me' before she dropped the woman's hand and raced down the hallway as quickly as she could without running. She shut herself into the tiny hallway bathroom, sinking down onto the closed lid of the toilet to rest her head in her hands as she tried to catch her breath.

She hadn't meant to panic, truly. She had just been caught so off guard. She had expected it with the woman she met yesterday, with Michonne, she had known by the easy way they were walking together that Daryl knew her too. That alone had made her think that the woman knew her as well and she had been proved right with the way that Michonne looked at her. This was the first time since that first night she had been near these people that someone from her _before_ had met her without warning.

Beth couldn't help but feel a little overwhelmed by it all. As she sat there in the darkness of the bathroom she began to realize the cause of the other woman's, of Carol's, panicked breathing. She had looked to be just as scared as Beth in that moment.

The thought gave her pause, allowed her to raise her head and take deep breath. She prodded the thought with childlike curiosity and let it sink in.

Maybe all the strangers were as scared to be around this new her as she was to be around them.

XxX

_He was not entirely sure what Maggie was accusing him of but he could tell that there was something. He crossed his arms over his chest and pushed off of the door frame while he glared at her. She didn't cower at his glare, not that he would expect her too with as many times as she had seen it, but her brow did wrinkle in confusion._

_A feeling that was both familiar and foreign washed over him and it took him longer than it should have to realize that it was anger. Daryl had once lived on anger, thrived on it really. His only way to survive was to push everyone away but that had been before Beth. After Beth there hadn't been enough left in him to feel anger but the feeling was coursing through him red hot at that moment._

_"What're ya tryin' to say?" he finally bit out, confused himself over what he needed to be angry about. What exactly did Maggie think had happened out there between him and Beth? He knew what had happened between them, she had taken his broken pieces and glued them back together, using pieces of herself to fill in the missing gaps. She had taken his shattered shell and remade him into something almost whole before she was ripped from him. But Daryl did not think that was what Maggie was accusing him of._

_"I never touched her!" he finally bit out, his brows lowering as his glare intensified. Even as the words were leaving his mouth he knew they weren't true, because of course he had touched Beth. How many times did he brush her arm for the simple need to touch her and reassure himself that she was okay? Daryl had touched her, just not in the way Maggie had to be thinking._

_He touched Beth is serious piggybacks and fingers interlocked in shared grief. He had carried her for the simple pleasure of getting to hold her, to see her face when she saw the meal he had prepared for them. But those touches had all been clean, no ulterior motive in them. Daryl had never once even thought about darkening her pure skin with his dirty Dixon hands._

_A rage was beginning to build inside of him, the exact reason to which he was unsure of. Perhaps it was Maggie's accusation, or his lack or sleep, but Daryl knew it was most likely his memory bringing up things that Beth might never remember for herself. Memories that were once all he thought he would have to hold onto her. Now she was there but he could no more hold her than he could a memory._

_The shake of Maggie's head finally managed to break through his rage and he frowned at her, opening his mouth to defend himself and Beth some more when Maggie spoke in a rush._

_"I'm not accusing you of anything. I'm sorry, I was just trying to say." she paused, biting her lip as she thought of a way to phrase her question without pushing him over into his pit of rage. "I was just tryin' to say that I'm surprised you're the only person she remembers."_

XxX

It took her a few minutes to leave her sanctuary in the bathroom but it did not take her nearly as long as it might have had she not considered the possibility of the strangers being afraid. The thought calmed her strangely enough, the idea that they were all scared. That more than anything else made her feel less alone in all of this. She hadn't thought about it before, not really, about how hard this had to be for everyone else.

She couldn't imagine what it would feel like to have someone you thought was dead (no one had told her that but she could see it in their eyes when they looked at her, had heard it in the brunette's voice as she whispered 'You're alive'. Whatever had happened to her, however she had gotten separated from them, they had truly believed her to be dead.) return to you alive but with no idea who you were.

Beth could not imagine the joy and pain that had to cause them but that was mostly because she could not imagine caring about someone as much as these people seemed to care for her.

XxX

He shot down one walker, pleased to find that his aim was not too impaired by the weather. It had only taken him one arrow although the walker had honestly gotten a lot closer to the fence than he would have liked before he could shoot it. He knew he would hear about it later, when the rain let up and they sent people out to clear out the bodies of the walkers surrounding the fence before they started to smell. Daryl told himself it was only the rain affecting his skills and not the thoughts running wild in his head.

_Daryl simply blinked at her before shaking his head. Maggie was confused, she didn't get or she wasn't willing to except the fact that the Beth they knew was gone, at least for the time being. Her face when she whispered his name for what she thought was the first time, when the sound of it brought no memories to her, filled his mind as he spoke._

_"She doesn't remember me. Or any of us." he grunted leaning, well more like falling, back against the door frame as the reminder of her memory loss hit him like a physical thing._

_Maggie was shaking her head again and Daryl found himself wondering if she got a crick her neck from doing that so often. "I know she doesn't really remember us Daryl, I know that." she paused to take a deep breath, her eyes closing in a flash of pain that Daryl understood all to well before she continued. "I don't even think she realizes that she's doing it but she is. Some part of her remembers you Daryl."_

_He opened his mouth, intent to shoot the idea down before it could take place in his mind and give him hope. But Maggie was speaking again and her words cut him off mid protest._

_"You're the only one of us that she's talked to since she got here."_

XxX

She did not speak to Carol again for the rest of the day although they worked around each other like they were partners in a strange dance that the other one had forgotten the steps to. It took the entire morning for Beth to work up the courage to even look at the woman's face again and then she spent the remainder of the afternoon quietly searching this stranger's face for any sign of her own features.

She could see no part of herself hidden in the other woman's face and it did not take very long for Beth to admit defeat. Morgan had told her that these people were her family but what that meant did not seem to be what Beth had first thought. These people did not seem to be related to her by blood, at least not the ones she had met so far. She saw nothing of herself in them although they all seemed to look at her like they could see parts of themselves in her.

As the day passed in a blur of patients with head colds and simple cuts Beth began to wonder if each new patient was going to look at her with those eyes, those "You're here but you're broken." eyes that she had already begun to feel accustomed to. Since her 'family' clearly did not mean her blood she had no idea of how large it could be. Her panic that first night had erased most of the faces from her mind as well as making her unsure of the actual number of people who had been there. Her memory had conjured up shadowy black figures to stand in the corners that made the amount of people in that room seem endless.

Beth had no idea how many there were, how many strangers who she had once called family still wandered these streets with her. How many more people she would have to be introduced to for the first and yet second time.

XxX

_He was shaking his head before she was even done speaking. "Michonne was with me this mornin'." he grunted, crossing his arms tighter to his chest as if he could battle off Maggie's words. As if he could prevent them from taking root and springing up hope inside of him._

_But Maggie was simply looking at him, green eyes wide, and for the first time in a long while he saw something in them that resembled Beth. The second she began speaking he knew the thing he saw was stubbornness._

_"I saw Michonne earlier. She said it seemed more like Beth wanted to talk to you and she just happened to be there too."_

_Daryl just kept shaking his head, he could not let himself hope that some part of Beth, no matter how small, remembered him. That hope would only hurt him in the end, when it proved to be wrong or when he woke up and found out that she had left. That she had gone on and left him again with no warning._

When his replacement finally showed Daryl barely spared them a grunt before climbing down the ladder in a rush. He knew they would think nothing of his rudeness, it was his usual attitude and even if it wasn't they would likely chalk it up to the rain. He shoved his freezing hands into his pockets not at all surprised when it didn't warm them in the slightest. All he wanted was to go home and change out of the wet clothes that were clinging to him like a second skin but he knew he had to make a stop before he did that. His feet began to walk in the familiar path to the clinic as he replayed the last of his conversation with Maggie the night before in his mind.

_"I don't know how she survived." Maggie's voice had dropped to a whisper and when Daryl looked back at her he saw that she was staring down at her hands again, seeming to be talking more to herself than him as she continued. "I dunno if I still believe in God or miracles but I just don't see how else she could be here."_

_Daryl had nothing to say to that, unsure as he was himself as to how Beth had survived, but it did not matter because Maggie was not finished. "I know why she doesn't remember though. If there is a God and he kept her alive, her not knowing me, that's my punishment."_

_He said nothing and Maggie did not elaborate as she sniffed and rubbed a hand underneath her eyes. He knew of course, what Maggie had thought after the prison, how she had thought Beth hadn't even made it out past the fences. He had overheard the others talk about the signs she had left for Glenn, the signs of which Beth's name was noticeably absent. He had heard in Maggie's own voice how much she had given up on Beth when she whispered though the darkness of that train car, "But she's alive?" Daryl had known when he got back to the church with Noah, with Beth's location known and a plan forming to save her and found that Maggie wasn't there that the guilt of going to DC was going to eat her alive when she finally met up with her baby sister._

_And then she hadn't even gotten to see Beth, not alive._

_Daryl never mentioned the things she had done to her, the ways Maggie had wronged her sister with her lack of faith in her. He had not bothered to tell Maggie that she had been wrong to give up on Beth or that if she hadn't gone to DC maybe Beth would still be alive. He knew as well as everyone else that those thoughts were all that crossed Maggie's mind._

_Daryl was never good at comforting people so he simply stood in the doorway as Maggie sniffled. He knew nothing he said would ease her guilt, hell he didn't even want to try mostly. She **had** given up on Beth after all, she deserved to feel guilty._

_But he felt guilty to. Guilty with the knowledge that if he had just stopped Beth, prevented her from stepping towards that damn cop maybe none of this would've happened. If he had never let her get taken from him in the first place then maybe everything would be different._

_Maybe if him and Maggie had both done better by her Beth would still be with them and know who they were._

XxX

She said her goodbyes quickly before pulling on her now dry jacket and slipping out the door. The rain had lightened marginally and Beth felt a smile tug at the corner of her lips as she breathed in the fresh air. The smell of rain filled her nostrils and she couldn't help the grin that blossomed over her face as she darted down the steps, spinning in a slow circle as the ran fell on her face.

She felt like her all worries were simply washing off of her as the rain fell, all the fear and confusion of the past few days just sliding off her with the water as she spun. Beth could have stayed out there for hours if a gruff and increasingly familiar voice had not cut through her reverie.

"What the hell are ya doin'?

XxX

Beth nearly stumbled as she stopped her spinning, her arms dropping to her sides as she looked over at him. Water was dripping down her face like tears but she looked calmer than he had seen her since her return as she shrugged sheepishly at him.

Daryl was having a hard time fighting down his surprise at seeing her. He had walked to the clinic in the hopes of catching Carol before she left and getting her to tell him what was so wrong with Beth that she had to come in two days in a row. He had not expected to see Beth herself, especially not spinning around in circles in the rain like it was the best thing she had ever done.

"Thought you were sick." Daryl tried very hard not to make it sound like a question, to make him seem just vaguely interested and not as intensely curious as he was. He couldn't help it, he needed to know that she was okay. He had gone so long without her, with thinking she was lost to him forever, that now that she was back he wanted to protect her from everything. Even though he knew full well that Beth Greene was plenty capable of taking care of herself.

Still, he just needed to know that she was okay because he simply needed to and because he had told the sister that she didn't remember that he would.

_Maggie had been staring at her hands and sniveling for so long that Daryl was beginning to suspect she had forgotten where she was. Finally he could take it no longer, the sight of his waiting bed and the soft sound of her crying to much for him._

_"What'dya want Maggie?" he finally bit out, trying to keep his voice from being too gruff but knowing from the tightening of her shoulders that he had failed._

_"Beth." Maggie let out a sigh so long that Daryl was surprised there was still oxygen left in her to continue, "She doesn't want to see me. Might not want to see me for a long time. And that's okay, I'll-I'll deal with that." She swallowed hard before looking back up at him and as their eyes met Daryl saw that familiar flash of unrelentless Greene in her. "But I can't deal with not knowing how she's doing. When you talk to her, can you just make sure she's okay?"_

_They stared at each other for a long moment before Daryl nodded slowly. He knew that was his chance to tell Maggie about how Beth was thinking about leaving but Maggie simply thanked him before fleeing the room and he didn't have the chance. He wasn't sure if he would have told her anyway. His protective streak for Beth protected her from a lot of things, including her own sister, who Daryl knew without a doubt would go rushing off to find Beth if she had even a inkling that Beth was thinking about leaving._

_Which was precisely why Daryl didn't tell her._

XxX

He was still staring at her with those piercing blue eyes and Beth got the feeling that her face was more familiar to him than it was to her if he always looked at her like that. "I'm not sick." she finally whispered, clearing her throat to get it to return to normal speaking volume as she continued. "I'm working here now." she managed the smallest of smiles for him, for herself in the pride that she was useful and that she worked somewhere that contributed to the group.

Daryl was looking at her intently, and she felt her smile begin to falter under his scrutinizing gaze, unsure of what seemed to be bothering him, when suddenly he whispered in that rough voice of his.

"You're not leavin' then?"

XxX

Beth's eyes widened in shock but Daryl couldn't tell who was honestly more surprised by his question, her or him. He had not meant to ask it, really. Sure the question had been plaguing him since he had overheard Morgan saying it to Rick but he had not meant to actually ask Beth that.

He had meant to tell her that he was not surprised that she was working in the clinic, he knew her father had taught her a lot of things. He had seen her clean up people's scrapes when the other medically trained people at the prison were to busy. His plan had been to corner Morgan later that evening, force the man to tell him how Beth was really doing, to ask if she still wanted to flee and if she was still scared of him, of them.

Instead he had let the sight of her spinning around in the rain with a smile intoxicate him and had gone and blurted out the question to her. His hands curl into fists at his sides as he waited for her to panic, or yell or run away. That's what scared him the most, he was beginning to realize, he had no idea how Beth reacted to anything anymore.

So he was surprised when Beth simply tilted her head to the side, watching him in a way that was both new and entirely familiar as she answered him, "I'm gonna stay."

XxX

She had meant to continue, to clarify that she was only thinking of staying for a little while. For just long enough to justify to herself that she had given this whole family thing a chance but the look of instantaneous relief on Daryl's face stopped her. They simply stood there, the weight of her words sinking into them like a promise she had not fully intended to make as the rain fell on and around them. Beth did not know how long they would have stood there, their eyes locked as they both tried to see something familiar in each other before the clinic's door slammed closed behind them.

Beth started at the sound, looking over her shoulder quickly to see Carol standing uncertainly on the porch steps as she watched them. Suddenly Beth felt the cold of the water that drenched her skin and the heaviness of her soaked clothes. The sudden desire to be dry filled her as she took a small step back from Daryl who was still watching her. She turned from him with a quickly whispered goodbye but she had not gone more than a step before she was turning around, squinting her eyes to make out his features in the rain.

"I'll see you tomorrow?"

The question came out small and filled with doubt, as though she was the one who had been afraid that the other one would leave. She had not known Morgan had told anyone about how close she had come to fleeing but she could see how much the knowledge of that fact had been bothering the man before her. It could have been a trick of the rain but Beth could swear she saw the smallest ghost of a smile as he returned the words, "See ya tomorrow."

Somehow when he said it it didn't sound like a question but like a promise.


	7. Chapter 7

_The hand holding hers was clenching her so tightly she could feel her bones grinding together. There was blood everywhere and the cold night air was filled with the sounds of screams, guttural growls, and a wet crunching sound as the walkers devoured the person clinging to her._

Beth woke with a start, a scream of her own nearly slipping out past her lips as she sat straight up in bed. Her breath came out in frantic bursts and she rose her palms to push her sweaty hair off her forehead, taking large gulps of air and flexing her hand as if she could still feel the woman in her dream clutching it.

She was still shaking by the time both her breathing and heart rate finally returned to normal. Her teeth were still chattering in shivers that had nothing to do with the cold when she realized that what she had just seen was not a dream but a memory.

XxX

He had been woken by a nightmare, although this time it was not the common one of Beth being shot but an old one of his mother's death. The phantom smell of burning flesh was heavy in his nostrils so Daryl stood and eased open the window to his tiny room, taking greedy mouthfuls of the cold fresh air.

The air calmed him quickly but despite his exhaustion Daryl knew that he would not likely find sleep again that night. He shut the window so that it was only open a crack before he lay back down on his bed, his hands folded on his chest as he stared through the darkness at his ceiling.

His mind drifted as it always did these days to Beth, and he felt some of the tension leave his shoulders at the memory of her face. It had been over a week since she had told him she was going to stay, over a week where he slowly began to stop being afraid to wake up and be told she had fled in the night. It helped of course that he saw her twice daily, when they passed each other on the way to and from work. They never talked long, not more than a few minutes at a time, but every time it happened Daryl began to accept what Maggie had told him as the truth, he was the only one of them that Beth ever tried to talk to.

Carol had told them about how she and Beth met, how she had run off for a few minutes to calm down and how she could barely look at her the rest of the day. Since then they had all agreed to try to meet Beth only if they were with someone she had already met. Even over the course of a week Daryl knew she had yet to meet everyone. He had been there when she met Carl, the boy handling their reintroduction far better than Daryl himself had. He had even managed to get Beth to smile at him, not one of her shy unsure smiles that seemed to be her custom now but one of her old ones. One of her beaming sunshine bright smiles when Carl had told some truly awful joke about amnesia that they had been lucky Beth found funny instead of hurtful.

He knew Beth had also met Tara and Rosita one day when they had come in together, Tara had fallen on a run and twisted her ankle so Rosita had helped her hobble to the clinic. Carol had managed to intercept them before Beth got to them and had introduced the three of them to each other. They all said Beth didn't even look scared to meet them but Carol thought that might have been because she had never actually met them before. That even though to Beth, every introduction she had was the first one she could somehow sense that with those two it was the first time they met her too.

Michonne had introduced her to Sasha one night as they walked up on one of Daryl and Beth's nightly conversations. Beth had even manged to shake her hand without any visible tremble which Daryl took to be a good sign. He silently thought it might have been because the two women had never been close but Michonne thought it was because Daryl had been there and she always looked calmer when she was near him.

Whatever the case, Daryl knew those were the only people who Beth had talked to so far. Everyone was being surprisingly calm about it, willing to wait it out until they got a chance to meet her. A few days after Beth told him she was staying Daryl had offered Rick to introduce them but the man had simply smiled sadly before saying he could wait a little while longer. Daryl wasn't sure what he was waiting for, if he didn't want to overwhelm Beth or if he still saw her being shot when he closed his eyes like Daryl sometimes did. Or maybe he just felt guilty re-meeting her before anyone else did.

Maggie was the one having the hardest struggle not going to Beth but she and Glenn seemed to have come up with some kind of plan not to meet her just yet. Glenn confessed to him the other night that Maggie was hoping Beth would remember some part of her on her own. Daryl didn't say anything but he thought if that was the case Maggie was going to have to wait a long time.

XxX

She wasn't sure exactly how she knew it was a memory but it had felt so unlike any of her dreams. Her hand still slightly throbbed from the phantom grasp of the woman's hand as she lay in the darkness of her room. Beth strained her mind to pull the memory back to the front again and she watched in a dull horror as the woman clutching her was devoured again and again.

She couldn't make out the woman's features due to the walkers on her and the blood and flesh flying everywhere. Beth put her head in her hands, her fingers rubbing absentmindedly at the scar the bullet left on her forehead as she tried to focus past the gore.

The woman, she knew it was a woman from the screams she could hear in her mind (dimly she wondered if some of those screams might actually be her own since the woman's throat was being ripped out) and she could see long blonde hair matted with blood flowing out behind her. Wherever they were it was dark and Beth couldn't make out much of anything beside the grizzly sight that was her first true memory.

She spent the rest of the night laying awake in the darkness and replaying the few short seconds in her mind, again and again. However, it wasn't until she was writing down the memory in the spiral bound notebook Morgan had gifted her that a new thought struck her. The pen slipped out of her fingers in shock as Beth replayed the memory again.

A woman. Long blonde hair.

Perhaps...was Beth remembering the brutal death of her own mother?

XxX

"I think we should invite Beth to dinner this week." Rick spoke cautiously, shifting Judith to his hip as he searched Daryl's eyes for his reaction to the idea.

Daryl rubbed a hand over his face as he sank down into a chair at the table, wishing he would have known that was the question he was going to start his morning to so he could have tried harder at catching some sleep,

Neither Carl nor Michonne were awake yet and Daryl knew Rick was only up this early because his daughter had been fussing, he had heard her through the thin walls. He reached up as Rick walked closer to join him at the table, grabbing Judith's hand as she passed. She giggled loudly, her fussing from before clearly forgotten.

"Dinner with us?" he finally asked when Judith's giggling had turned to quiet cooing and baby noises.

Rick settled his daughter in his lap, checking to make sure she was comfortable before continuing. "No." he paused to look up at Daryl then, waiting for him to realize what he meant, which he did but Rick still felt the need to clarify. "I think we should invite her to our weekly dinner."

Daryl sucked in a breath at the thought, their weekly dinner where every member of their group came to eat the various dishes they had all prepared. A dinner where Beth would be confronted by the numerous people she had yet to meet, including her own sister who would very likely not be able to resist going to her in that setting. The dinner they had first seen Beth at when she had returned to them nearly two weeks ago.

The dinner she had run from.

"You sure that's a good idea?" Daryl finally grunted, rubbing his eyes as he found himself suddenly grateful that it was his day off. He wouldn't have been able to tell a walker from a person come mid shift if he was out on the wall today.

Rick didn't answer right away, clearly thinking over if the idea would be good for not only Beth but the rest of the group. Daryl wondered if he was thinking about their meal last week where the absence of Beth had felt so different than before because now they knew she was alive. It had been a subdued affair where the only real topic of conversation was Maggie grilling everyone who had spoke to Beth for a play by play of their meetings. Daryl had spent most of the meal avoiding her before finally slipping out the door and wandering around the compound until he was sure she had left.

"I think we should offer her the opportunity." Rick finally spoke, turning his gaze to Daryl again. "I know we didn't last week because we didn't want to scare her off, but now..." he paused again and Daryl brushed some of his overgrown hair out of his eyes to watch as Rick tried to collect his thoughts. "She's met some of us and seems to be handling it better with each person. I think we should at least let her know that she's welcome to come even if she never does."

XxX

By the time she left for work Beth had nearly chewed a hole through her lower lip in worry. The more she thought about it the more she accepted the fact that the woman whose demise she had remembered was her mother. Beth felt strangely empty at the thought, no surge of grief bowed her over in the streets and no tears fell from her eyes. She was sad of course, but she could not tell what made her sadder. The fact that she would never get the chance to re-meet her mother or the fact that she did not remember enough about her to mourn her as she should have.

As she walked, the remaining mud from last week's stream of rain storms squelching under her shoes, Beth let herself wonder again if any of her so called 'family' was actually related to her by blood. She was fairly sure that none of the ones she had met already were related to her but was anyone in the group? She supposed it didn't really matter. Morgan had told her how these days family very rarely meant blood.

She was distracted by both her thoughts and the memory and she wasn't paying very much attention to where she was going, letting her feet walk her down the familiar path to the clinic without the aid of her mind. So she shouldn't have felt as surprised as she did when she finally collided with something. Well judging from the slight 'oof' of pain, someone.

Beth began to apologize, bending down to grab one of the books that had tumbled out of the other person's arms upon collision. She knelt in the mud, fingers scrambling to rescue the tomes before they became even dirtier by the splashes of people walking past. The person she had run into, a boy around her age she noticed from the corner of her eye, crouched with her and soon they had managed to collect all of the books. Beth stood with him and moved to carefully place the books on the stack in his arms but the look on his face stopped her.

He was scrambling to settle his face into one of blankness but Beth could still see the faint hint of surprise as his dark eyes took her in with that look she was starting to easily recognize, the 'I know you but you don't know me' look. But behind it Beth could see something else, something that none of the other people she had met had looked at her with. He had just opened his mouth to speak when she realized it was gratitude.

"Thanks." his voice was slightly choked and he had to clear it a few times before he whispered again, "Thank you."

Beth may not have known who the boy before her was but she knew without a doubt that he was not just thanking her for the books.

XxX

He could feel the beginnings of a headache forming behind his eyes as he thought over Rick's proposal.

The man had a point, Beth should know she was welcome at the dinners. Honestly Daryl didn't even know if she knew about them. She had come with Morgan to one of them, the one that ended in disaster and unbelievable joy at the sight of her, but he wasn't sure if she knew they were a weekly thing, or that she was welcome back.

He didn't know if she would come, it was very hard for him to predict what Beth would do although that was not a knew feeling for him. She had never done what he had expected. Maybe she would show up and maybe she wouldn't but would inviting her really cause that much harm? If they let her know it was entirely her choice to show up or not surely she wouldn't be scared away.

After several minutes of contemplation Daryl finally coincided with Rick, agreeing to let him have Morgan tell Beth the invitation was out there and always open.

XxX

She waited to feel that flare of panic she had gotten when she met Carol unprepared and alone but strangely nothing came. While she didn't exactly feel calm she also did not feel the urge to run away from him. She shifted her feet awkwardly for a moment before she spoke.

"I'm Beth." he was still looking at her with that barely veiled look of surprise and gratitude and it made Beth tilt her head to the side in interest. "What's your name?"

The smallest of smiles spread across his face then which surprised Beth almost more than the gratitude in his eyes. So far most of the people who had re-met her had just looked sad or like they couldn't quite believe she was there but this boy looked happy at the chance to talk to her, even if it was just re-introductions. "I'm Noah."

 _Noah._ Beth rolled the name around in her mind, waiting to see if it would click with anything in there. As she had grown to expect nothing came. However, the boy before her did not look disappointed when she kept looking at him like he was a stranger. Beth found herself looking over his shoulder then, at the nearly empty street, disappointed to not find Daryl among the few residents walking past. Having him there would make the question she was about to ask much easier.

She didn't know why she felt the sudden urge to ask it, perhaps it was remembering her mother's demise that made it easier or simply made her more curious. She had agreed to try to get to know these people and that included knowing more than their names so it was with that thought in mind (and a burning desire for Daryl to be there too) that she finally asked the question she had been beginning to want to ask everyone.

"How do you know me?"

XxX

The house was empty but Daryl still couldn't get himself to rest. Everyone had gone off to their jobs, Michonne to help plan out the next run with her team, Judith to the childcare center where a few women watched over all the children still to young to work or go to school, Carl to the small school until midday and then off to the small field where he helped with the farming, and Rick off to patrol the streets (it still amused Daryl to no end that Rick was a sheriff again and that this town was holding onto life before so strongly that they actually had a cop to keep things running smoothly).

Daryl was tempted to leave anyway, to walk the familiar path to see Beth before she got to the clinic, to meet up with like they did every morning. That was what he had done on his day off last week, claiming he wanted to walk Carl to the house used as a classroom. Carl had been a bit confused, especially when Daryl took them the other way but since he got to talk to Beth that day (and see that smile Daryl thought he wouldn't see for a long time, if ever) he didn't complain. When it came time for Beth to be leaving the clinic Daryl decided he needed to take a walk and he ran into Beth again.

But with the knowledge that Morgan was telling Beth about the dinners later that day Daryl didn't want to find her on his day off again. He didn't want word to get back to her and for her to be scared of him for seeking her company so often. It was taking nearly all of his self control not to go out there anyway but somehow he managed, the promise of getting to see her tomorrow helping ease him into some much needed sleep.

XxX

She saw the briefest flash of surprise cross Noah's face at the question. It occurred to her then that these people were probably talking about her, discussing her every interaction to see if she was recovering any of her memory. The realization made her feel slightly uncomfortable, that she was the topic of conversation for people who were still strangers to her, some of whom she had yet to even meet. Whatever they said about her it was apparent that they knew as well as she did that she had not yet asked anyone for any information beyond their names.

To his credit Noah did not back down from the task of being the first person to provide real information on her past to her addled brain. He shrugged the best he could with his armful of books before he spoke, his eyes glued to hers, probably so he could catalog any flash of recognition in her eyes and report it back to their 'What Beth Knows' meetings.

"We were trapped in a-" he paused then to think over the best description before finally settling on a generic, "Bad place together." He was still watching her but Beth felt nothing at that information. What kind of bad place? Like a prison? Were they held captive somewhere?

"It was a hospital. They found people and kept them to work for them."

Beth's eyes lit up at the word hospital and something clicked in place in her brain. "I woke up in a hospital. A man there, Dr. Edwards, he saved me from." her frantic words trailed off and she rose her hand up to stroke the bullet scar on her forehead.

Noah's eyes traveled with her hand to stare at the scar on her forehead. A look of pain briefly crossed over his features and another thought occurred to her then. She felt like she had unearthed a handful of her missing puzzle pieces and that the smallest part of the picture was starting to become clear to her.

"You were there. When I was shot." While she did not know that for sure she did not ask it as a question but Noah took it as one.

His dark eyes met hers again as he nodded, and as he spoke she suddenly understood the gratitude he could not disguise when he looked at her.

"You saved me."

XxX

Daryl spent the rest of the morning in a restless sleep, waking often to familiar nightmares. His parents, Beth being shot, walkers, Beth being shot and on and on. Eventually he gave up on the idea of getting any real form of sleep that day and instead set to work on shaping arrows, the way he often spent his days off.

Perhaps it was because he had not gotten to see her that morning, or maybe it was just because she was never to far from his thoughts, but Daryl could not seem to get Beth's face out of his mind. He felt strange suddenly about having Rick ask Morgan to tell Beth about the dinners. It felt like such a backwards way to do it. Like they were ashamed to ask her themselves.

He was beginning to wonder if he should have offered to invite Beth himself.

XxX

He had already given her so much to think on that Beth decided not to ask Noah how exactly her getting shot in the head had saved him. She had simply accepted his words as yet another fact about her life that she had not been aware of before passing him the rest of his books and biding him goodbye. She kept one eye out for Daryl as she finished the rest of her short walk to work but she didn't see him, the smallest flash of disappointment filling her as she headed up the porch stairs.

She spent most of the day on autopilot, cleaning the clinic and tending to the people with the small outbreak of cold the rain had unleashed on the community. She made small talk with her patients and ignored the bright smiles James tended to flash her from across the room every ten minutes as she worked. Her mind was as far from the clinic as could be that day.

It was like she was back in the hospital again and she finally understood to some degree the wariness everyone there had treated her with. She had originally been held there against her will, that much was clear to her (she found herself suddenly grateful she had left in the dead of night). Since Noah was no longer there she could only assume that she had originally been planning to leave with him. Then something happened, she got shot, and she had been left behind. Everyone in the hospital had been weary of her because they had been expecting her to leave again, perhaps even to fight them if they didn't let her. She wondered if anyone had even been surprised to wake up one day and find her gone or if they had been expecting that since she had woken up.

She supposed it didn't really matter and she spent the rest of the day toying with the information Noah had given her and the memory her brain had let her have back. As she sterilized tables next to Carol Beth considered asking the older woman how they had met but she finally decided against it. Her mind had to much to work on as it was. She would wait a few more days before asking her.

However as the day passed Beth found that whenever her thoughts were not replaying the grizzly memory that had come to her in her sleep or the things Noah had told her they were drawn to thoughts of Daryl. She had seen him, if not spoken to him, every day since she had walked into that little house filled with the answers to her past. It felt strange not having seen him that day and she found herself suddenly worried that he was hurt.

The memory of her mother's death had only reminded her that they did not have unlimited time in this world.

She needed to get to know Daryl and these people before she no longer had the chance.

XxX

As the hours passed the house seemed to be getting smaller around him. Daryl knew it was just his imagination, he was the only person there the house should have felt larger than usual with its emptiness. Instead Daryl found himself pacing the floors, opening several windows in the attempt to draw a real breath. He had never been good with being inside, it was why he left the safety of the prison so often. He never seemed to breath right when he was behind walls.

Finally, after nearly an hour of feeling cooped up like he was in a cage Daryl fled the house, his chest feeling lighter the second he shut the door behind him. He had only meant to go for a walk around the perimeter to clear his head but he found himself unsurprised when he began heading in the direction of the clinic without a conscious thought. It was just coming into sight and he was still trying to decide if he was going to simply walk past it or not when the door opened and Beth stepped out. At the sight of her all his remaining feelings of unease at being cooped up inside left him and he felt like he could breath freely for the first time that day.

She caught his eye as she walked down the steps, the smallest of smiles spreading across her lips as she approached him where he had stopped to wait for her.

"I didn't see you this morning." she said by way of introduction as she stopped a few feet from him. Her voice was not needy or accusing, it was merely curious and matter of fact. Daryl felt pleasantly surprised that she had noted his absence and perhaps it was that feeling that made him tell her the truth.

"It's my day off." he said with a shrug, causing her eyebrows to knit together slightly. He knew the question she was going to ask before she did but she asked it anyway.

"Then what are you doing here? Are you sick?" the concern in her tone made Daryl's heart clench, not to mention the fact that she still worried about him even though she didn't know him. Daryl tried to reason with himself that Beth would be concerned for anyone, that surely the gunshot hadn't changed that about her, but that did not stop him from feeling happy enough to say.

"Came to walk you home."

XxX

She couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face at his words and she thought she might have seen Daryl's shoulders unclench at the sight of it. A few days ago the admission would have made her slightly nervous, and to be honest if it had been anyone else seeking out her company for such a small thing she would have likely refused them. But this was Daryl and while she may not remember anything about him from her before life she thought she was beginning to know him now. So far she liked what she had learned and it was that that had her nodding consent, both of them starting to walk as one down the street towards her home.

They walked in silence for a moment before Daryl spoke, "Has Morgan talked to you today?"

Beth blinked at him in surprise, she wasn't sure what she had expected him to want to talk to her about so much that he came out on his day off to walk with her but she had not been expecting that. She shook her head in confusion and Daryl nodded slowly as if he had expected that.

She waited a moment to see if he would clarify his question on his own or if she needed to ask him. Thankfully Daryl decided to explain, turning his head to face the street as he spoke.

"We do these dinner things every week." he shrugged as if to say they hadn't been his idea. "All of us get together and you know..." he trailed off for a moment before finally saying, "Have dinner." He cringed ever so slightly as he repeated himself.

Beth felt a sudden surge of endearment for the man walking beside her, looking down at her shoes to hide her smile as he continued quickly. "We were going to have Morgan tell you about it, let you know you were invited if you ever wanted to come but I-" he trailed off again, giving a sheepish shrug, perhaps indicating that he had wanted to invite her himself or that the others had thought one of their own should extend the invitation and he had been chosen to do so.

Beth bit her lip at the thought of being near so many people at once, people from a past she didn't remember. Even though she had slowly been meeting more and more people who once knew her the idea slightly terrified her. There would be no place to run, she couldn't do that to them, not again. She would have to face them all and she had the feeling it would be like an invitation for them to give her information on her past that she had not asked for. The idea of it scared her but at the same time made her nervous with anticipation for the things she could learn if she chose to ask. She was still unsure of what she wanted to do, so as she came to a stop in front of her house she turned to Daryl and asked him the reason why she thought he was the one inviting her.

"Do you want me to come?"

He met her eyes at that, his blue gaze slowly becoming familiar to her as he shrugged. She thought that was the only answer he was going to give her so she was surprised when he admitted out loud, "Yeah." their eyes held for a moment longer before he quickly added in a mumble, "If you want to."

And maybe it was her promise to herself to try, or the fact that she had a real memory of her past now. Maybe it was even the prospect of getting to talk to Noah again and ask him what he meant by her saving him. Perhaps it was even excitement about getting to meet the few other people she had once known but did not yet, to be able to get answers to any question she decided to be brave enough to ask. Beth thought it was a compilation of all of those things but she knew that mostly it was the man before her, staring at her with thinly veiled hope in his blue eyes that got her to answer.

"I guess I could stop by." she saw the look of disbelief flash across Daryl's face before he schooled his features into a blank mask and Beth knew that he had not been expecting that answer. That he had not let himself hope that she would actually agree to show up and face all of them at once. She was a bit surprised herself but it had been nearly two weeks since she had found these strangers, her family, and she had yet to learn very much about them or her past despite her promise to Morgan and herself to try to get to know them. Beth thought she was a woman who stuck to her words so it was time for her to actually act on them.

"I do have one condition though." she spoke hastily as she remembered the dinner she had walked in on the night she found her 'family'. Daryl's eyes narrowed slightly and he nodded for her to continue, looking a bit weary now and what she might ask for.

"No one's allowed to hug me."

This time she knew that the small upturn of his mouth was a smile.


	8. Chapter 8

Although he would likely never say it out loud Morgan was proud of her. Neither of them were very big on talking about their feelings, but Beth could still see it in his eyes as he waved goodbye on his way to work.

The night before when they were settling down to dinner he had started to tell her about the group meal her family had every week. He had ended it with saying they wanted her to know she had an open invitation and would be welcome when and if she ever decided to go. Beth thought Morgan was going to keep going, telling her about all the reasons why she should go to the dinner before she had finally decided to interrupt what she was beginning to suspect was a rehearsed spiel.

"I'm going." Morgan looked at her quizzically, perhaps confused by her lack of panic or simply surprised she had agreed so quickly. She admitted with a sheepish shrug as she stared down at the corn she was pushing around her plate, "Daryl asked me about it earlier. I told him I'd go."

She looked up at him as she finished talking and Beth didn't know what to make of the look on Morgan's face at her admission, there was the briefest flashes of surprise before his features settled into a look of understanding. She wasn't entirely sure what it was Morgan thought he was understanding but she didn't press. Her mind had been too full from the events of the day to add anything else to it.

Still, as they continued to eat in silence every time she looked across the table at him she could see the proud look in Morgan's eyes that she was finally going to actually get to know these people. That did not prepare her however for when Morgan asked her what food they should make tomorrow.

"Tomorrow?" Beth had asked, her brow furrowing in confusion. They never discussed their meals so early. One of them would just reach into the cupboard at night and they would make whichever can they pulled out first. It wasn't like they had a lot of options anyway so what would be the point of fussing over it?

Morgan set his fork down as the smallest flashes of worry crossed his face before he wiped his features blank, the perfect poker face. "Daryl didn't tell you when it was?" he asked softly, his voice dropping the way it did when she got nervous or panicked. But Beth wasn't panicking now, she was just confused as she shook her head no to his question.

Daryl had told her the meals were weekly but he hadn't told her when it was this week. Surely he would have offered her some warning though if it was...

"Oh. Well its tomorrow night." Morgan answered her unasked question as he picked up his fork again. "You still want to go?" he asked, squinting across the table at her in the candlelight. Even though the town had solar panels that provided them with electricity most nights they both still felt more comfortable with the light of candles than the bright florescent lights that were in the house.

Beth paused for only a second before she nodded. She had told Daryl she would go after all, it shouldn't matter that she had less time than she thought she would to prepare for it.

XxX

Daryl wasn't sure what Rick was more surprised about, that Beth had agreed to come to the dinner or that Daryl had been the one to ask her. He had almost anticipated the man to be cross with him, it had been Daryl's idea to have Morgan ask Beth about it after all, but Rick seemed surprised more than anything and that quickly passed into happiness. Even when Daryl passed on the message that Beth didn't want anyone to touch her the small smile that was beginning to form on his face did not falter. Soon enough him, Michonne and Carl were suggesting what dish they should contribute to the meal that night.

Rick and Michonne offered practical dishes they could actually make but like every week Carl liked to throw out foods that were now a thing of the past, such as pizza and ice cream. It had become a sort of joke between them, how many dishes could Carl remember before they settled on what can of food they would actually use to make their contribution. Sometimes they even kept score, counting up how many days or weeks Carl could go without repeating a food. Daryl thought his current record was eleven days although he had been so out of it for most of their arrival that it could have been longer.

Their giddiness was unparalleled that morning with the knowledge that Beth would be at their table that very night. Daryl even almost suggested that they make snake jerky before he realized that he was the only person who got that joke anymore. His good mood slipped away as he stood, leaving the others laughter behind as he headed out to work.

XxX

Even with him being proud of her decision to learn more about her past Beth did not want to tell Morgan about the memory she had gotten about her mother's death. She didn't want to tell anyone about it really. It wasn't because it felt like some painful thing, she didn't remember her mother after all, just the last few seconds of her demise. Still, it was the first _real_ memory she had ever gotten. It held so much more substance to it than the few flashes of her past that she had gotten before. This felt like a real memory and Beth didn't want to share it with anyone else just yet. She still had too many questions about it and it felt private. It felt like the one thing from her past that she knew and that no one could take away from her. Again.

Another reason she didn't want anyone to know about it was because she didn't want them to think it was a sign that her memory was coming back. If they thought that they would only be even more disappointed when her past never came back to her. Beth was already starting to accept the fact that this might be it, that she would only ever remember her past in brief flashes and random segments that she might never fully understand. But she did have her family here and once she was ready and brave enough to ask them questions they could fill in her past for her. She would be okay if her memories never returned to her. But the others were a different story.

She had considered telling Morgan of course, he was the only person she fully trusted here but he would not be able to tell her if the memory was real or not. She had even briefly thought about telling Daryl but she decided against it, not wanting to hurt him even more if the memory turned out to be false or the only one she ever got.

In the end she just wrote the memory down in her journal and tried not to replay it to much, already the screams had begun to dull to her.

XxX

He found himself grateful that he had made more arrows the day before. He'd been up there less than an hour and he could already tell that he was going to be doing a lot of shooting that day. The walkers that came shambling out of the thin tree line to head towards them looked almost fresh and Daryl was fairly certain they were all from the same camp that had recently been attacked. One of the corpses even wore a backpack and another had a gun strapped to their thigh.

The sight of it reminded Daryl when he was teaching Beth to use his bow and they had found the walker with the gun on his hip. That thought only dragged him further down the chain of events following that but he managed to stop his mind just before the piggyback he had given her. No, the _serious_ piggyback.

Those thoughts brought him back to Beth, who he for once hadn't been thinking about as he tried to guess how many more walkers he would have to be putting down that day. She hadn't been there on his walk that morning and at first Daryl had felt a brief surge of panic that he had scared her off, that showing up to walk her home had been too much to soon. By the time he got to the wall he realized that it might have just been her day off this time. Normally he would have felt a bit disappointed that he hadn't gotten to see her but today he had the promise of seeing her that night at dinner.

If she showed up and they didn't scare her off immediately that was.

XxX

She tried to distract herself from her thoughts but she had already read the few books the house had when she had been in quarantine upon arrival. She wondered what Noah had been doing with all those books the day before and if there was anyway she would be able to find some new reading material as she did not think she could stand to reread the books another time. She found she liked getting to loose herself in a book, that even the black spots in her vision didn't distract her very much from the stories.

But Beth already knew these books and she knew they would not provide a well enough distraction from her racing thoughts. The more she tried to ignore her memory the more persistent it became. She kept trying to look past the woman being eaten, to make some sense of the dark shapes behind her, but nothing came forward.

Finally being in the house became to much for her and she needed to get out from behind its walls before she started screaming. Beth slipped outside, taking deep breaths of the fresh air with the hopes that a walk would help to clear her mind. At the very least it would give her something to do besides obsess over a memory she still didn't fully understand.

She used the wall as a guide to keep her from wandering the streets aimlessly. She'd learned yesterday that she should not walk the streets when preoccupied or she'd run into something (or someone). She walked slowly, her hands stuffed in the pockets of her jeans, as she tried to piece together all the things she didn't know. Beth was beginning to think Morgan's suggestion to write down what she remembered would have been better put to use writing down all of the stuff people told her that she didn't fully understand. The more people she met the more she was beginning to realize just how much she didn't know about her past and who she once was.

Beth looked up at the sound of a metallic clicking and she was surprised to find that she had already reached Daryl's guard station, even more surprised by the strange flutter in her chest as her eyes landed on him. He didn't see her yet, his gaze focused over the wall as he lined something up within the aim of his crossbow. Beth watched as the bolt flew from the crossbow and dimly she heard a wet thud that she supposed meant it had hit its target. Once again she marveled at the strength it had to take him to use that weapon.

She hadn't left the house with the thought of finding him. She truly had not meant to join him but perhaps she was to accustomed to seeing him everyday because the next thing she knew her hands and feet were pulling her up the ladder.

XxX

A shuffling noise from behind him drew his eyes away from the fifth walker of the morning he had just put down. His last few days on post had been relatively clear and he was growing antsy as the numbers approaching the walls grew. He could only hope that the group that had fallen wasn't very large. Sure they had walls but everything had its weak spots and he wasn't looking forward to finding out where theirs were if a herd decided to press on it.

Shoving the thoughts back Daryl turned towards the sound by the ladder. As he saw the familiar crown of blonde hair Daryl felt only the smallest flicker of surprise. Somehow he had known before turning that it would be her.

He cast a quick glance at the outside to make sure it was clear for the moment before shifting his bow into one hand and reaching down to offer his other hand to Beth. She looked up at him only briefly before grabbing it and letting him help her to her feet. Daryl tried to let go of her hand immediately once she was standing but he still felt like he let his grip linger just a second too long. It had been two weeks and still every time he touched her he felt a thrill at the fact that she was actually alive.

He cleared his throat before turning back to his post, "You shouldn't be here." Daryl thought he saw the briefest flash of pain cross Beth's face from the corner of his eye. He cursed himself silently, not having meant to offend her. "There's a lot of walkers today." he clarified before she could say anything or leave. "It's dangerous."

He turned to meet her eyes then and Beth stared at him with that unnerving once familiar blue gaze before she spoke. "I can take care of myself."

Daryl had heard her say that same thing before, only then she was angry with him and she did not seem angry now. And maybe it was the memory or maybe it was the slightly drunken feeling being around her always gave him that made him speak. He did not mean for the words to slip out but they did. "Yeah I know."

He felt guilty the minute the words left his mouth. Daryl tried not to say things like that around her, tried not to show her how well he had once known her. He felt a flare of panic that she would be offended somehow but she was simply looking at him, her head tilted slightly to the side as she watched him. He could not handle simply staring back at her so he lifted his bow to see if he could spot anymore walkers in the treeline. After what seemed like ages but was likely only minutes Beth finally spoke.

Her voice was so quiet that the wind almost took it away as she whispered, "What else do you know about me?"

XxX

She bit her lip as she watched him. He had been staring down the length of his bow as he scanned the woods for more dead bodies to join the ones littered on the ground before them but at her question he let the bow fall slack, leaving it to rest on the strap wrapped across his chest. Daryl was quiet for a long time, not looking at her as his brow furrowed. Beth worried that she might have gone too far somehow, that she had asked too much of him with what she thought was a simple question. She had almost convinced herself that he was not going to answer her so when he finally spoke, his voice as low as her own, she nearly stumbled forward in shock.

"You're tough. You pick at things more than you eat them. You sing like a damn angel. You're good with kids." Daryl spoke slowly, pausing between every bit of information he gave her as though he was giving her time to absorb it. Beth began to inch closer to him, taking in every scrape of information he was giving her like it was air. He was staring at her now, their eyes locked as he told her about the girl he used to know, the girl she used to be.

The more he spoke the faster the words started to come, as though he had simply been waiting for her to ask this very question since she had arrived. "You like to keep a journal. You're good with a knife, even better with a gun. You hate goodbyes. You're a decent tracker and were getting to be a pretty good shot with my bow-"

Daryl looked like he could keep going for days but Beth cut him off in surprise. "Your bow?"

He stopped talking suddenly, blinking slowly as if he hadn't quite realized all that he was saying. Daryl nodded at her, looked like he might even continue, but Beth stopped him by reaching over and putting one finger on the sun warmed metal of the crossbow in his arms.

"I doubt I could even lift this thing." Beth admitted with a short laugh. She looked up at Daryl with a small grin, surprised to find how close together they were standing. She could see the rise and fall of his chest as he stared down at her before shaking his head.

She thought he was going to correct her, to tell her that of course she had been able to lift it before, so she was surprised when instead he lifted the strap from his body and turned to offer the bow he treated like a child to her. There was the slightest hint of teasing in his voice and something else she couldn't quite place as he whispered.

"Find out."

XxX

Beth looked up at him in surprise before her gaze dropped to the bow he was offering her. Finally her small hands reached out cautiously and took the heavy bow from him. Daryl held his breath as she took it from him, waiting in anticipation as Beth moved to lift the bow up higher. She looked pleasantly surprised to find that she could hold it, looked even more pleased with herself when she held it up to look down its scope like he had once taught her.

Her fingers edged towards the trigger like she had always held this weapon and Daryl felt that surge of pride he had gotten all those days ago in the woods when she hit her first target. She looked like she was itching to shoot something and Daryl found himself suddenly grateful for the walker that came tumbling out of the trees then. Beth gasped, dropping the bow down a few inches and turning to hand it to Daryl but he simply shook his head. Beth stared at him, her mouth dropping open slightly in shock, as he spoke softly.

"You do it."

Her eyes widened as she shook her head, a few loose strands of her ponytail hitting her face and Daryl found himself suddenly missing the braid she used to put it in it. She thrust the bow in his direction as she spoke. "I don't know how to use this thing."

The walker was getting closer to them and Daryl knew he should take the bow and put it down but still he simply shook his head, their eyes meeting as he offered her a challenge. "Just try."

He saw a flicker of doubt and panic dance across Beth's face, her mouth opening in protest. He took a step back from her then and she cast a familiar glare at him before taking a deep breath and raising the bow up in her slender arms. Daryl felt a sudden brush of fear that she didn't remember how to shoot the bow, although her muscles seemed to remember how to hold it. His fears went unwarranted as Beth let out a long breath, lining the walker up in her sights as her finger squeezed the trigger.

They both watched with varying degrees of surprise as the bolt landed home in the walker's skull.

Beth let out the smallest of laughs before she turned to Daryl with a wide smile he ever so slightly returned as he whispered. "Knew you could do it Greene."

The smile slipped off of Beth's face for a second as the bow drooped lower in her hands.

"Greene." she whispered the word as if it was a new food she was intent on tasting before looking up at him. Daryl eyes widened in silent horror as he realized his mistake before she even asked him.

"Is that my last name?"

XxX

_Beth Greene._

She thought the name had a certain ring to it and she found herself glad to share a name with her favorite color. Daryl was looking at her like he majorly screwed up, clearly waiting for the panic to take over her. Beth waited for it silently as well, happy when all she felt was a stirring curiosity. Maybe things would get easier to hear the more she learned. Daryl opened his mouth to say something, to apologize or answer her but she knew from the look on his face that she was right. Her last name was Greene.

She wondered if it was strange that she was just finding this out but seeing that she didn't have anyone to ask that or anything to compare it to really she personally thought it wasn't. Beth didn't know a lot of things about herself, a last name was very low or her things to think about.

Hearing it from his mouth made her curious though, as did all of the things he knew about her. Daryl had clearly known her for a long time and as she passed him back his bow Beth found herself suddenly needing to know. She had some questions and he had the answers.

"Daryl." he looked up at his name, every time she said it she would pause to wait for it to click something inside of her brain. As always there was only silence. Beth pressed forward past it to ask him. "How did we meet?"

XxX

For a brief second he worried that he had heard her wrong or that he misunderstood the question. She was still looking up at him with big expectant eyes and Daryl found himself shrugging awkwardly as he readjusted his bow strap across his body. The joy at her having shot down the walker had passed with his mistake of saying her last name. He had forgotten again how much she didn't know.

But here she was, asking him her second question about her past. That was progress, she was willing to learn. Daryl wished she didn't have to learn though, wished that she could remember and know all of these things on her own.

"Long story." he finally grunted, not entirely sure where he would even begin. Beth didn't realize how hard of a question that actually was.

He had met her at the farm yes, but only briefly. Back then it was more like they lived in the same place but the didn't really know each other. Same with the prison, although he did begin to learn more about her there as their numbers slowly dwindled. But Daryl personally thought that he didn't really meet Beth until they were out on their own. When it was just the two of them and a seemingly never ending stretch of woods.

"I have time." Beth said, still looking at him with those expectant eyes.

He didn't know which one he should say, hell which one he could say without bringing up a lot of places and people she didn't remember.

"It'll just give you more questions." he finally admitted, surprised when Beth only frowned for a moment before shrugging and repeating his words from mere minutes before.

"Just try?"

XxX

Beth was beginning to expect some awful story or some tale of how he had saved her life so she was surprised when the first thing Daryl said after his long silence was, "We met on a farm." he paused to look at her then, to study her face as she took in this small bit of information.

Her brows furrowed together at the thought. _A farm._ She didn't know of any farms although she had seen quite a few on her journey up here. Perhaps they had run into each other on one of those abandoned fields. She nodded for Daryl to keep going which he did slowly, showing her he was fully prepared to stop talking the second it became to much for her.

"We met on _your_ farm." he clarified, causing Beth to look back at him in surprise.

She had a farm? Well her family had a farm was what she supposed Daryl really meant. Her and her mother and well Beth didn't really know who else. Had her father been around or was he long gone by that point to either death or simple abandonment? The thoughts were running wild through her head but Beth nodded slowly anyway, telling Daryl to give her another piece of the puzzle that was once her life.

"It was pretty early into all this." he waved his hand to indicate the walkers laying on the ground between the trees and the wall. He looked like he was thinking over what to say next but Beth interrupted him.

"Did the people from the hospital take me from the farm?" she asked, remembering what Noah had said about the hospital people having been keeping them against their will. It made sense that they took them against their will too then didn't it?

Daryl blinked at her in surprise and confusion before he shook his head slowly. "No." his voice was suddenly rough as he looked down at her. "No, they didn't take you till a long time after that."

And Beth knew without a doubt then, watching him watching her, that whenever the people had taken her he had been there. Somehow they had gotten her away from him.

And now somehow, against all odds, he had gotten her back.

XxX

Daryl didn't tell her much more about their past after that. He had thought he had not given her very much to think on but it seemed that was not the case. Beth fell into a long silence, asking him only a few nonsensical questions about the farm as the hours passed and another pair of walkers were put down.

_Did we have horses? **A few.**_

_Was it in Georgia? **Yeah.**_

_Did we grow crops? **Couple of 'em.**_

And so the day passed. With every question Beth would pause, thinking over his response for a long time before she asked anything else. Daryl found himself regretting that he could not tell her more, thinking that Maggie or even Rick, Carl or Glenn would be better at answering questions about the farm. Maggie had grown up there after all and the others had at least paid attention to life on the farm. Daryl had spent most of their time on the Greene family farm looking for Sophia and then avoiding everyone. It wasn't until their last few days that he even started to consider the idea that they would be able to stay there long term.

Of course the second that idea crossed his head the place was destroyed by a herd.

Beth did not seem put out by his brief answers. She did not ask him to elaborate, did not ask for the horses' names or the types of crops they planted. She seemed content with the little morsels of information he could provide.

By the time his shift was over she was still up there standing beside him. His replacement, an older woman named Paula, showed little surprise at finding Beth on watch with him. Daryl knew the news of her and what had happened had already spread through the town like wildfire. Beth didn't even look nervous as she shook the woman's hand and Daryl hoped that was a sign that she would be able to handle dinner that evening.

They were already walking away from the fence when the thought hit him and Daryl realized then that he had been so wrapped up in providing Beth with information on her past that he hadn't even had time to be nervous about that night. They joined the people heading home on the streets, Daryl tapping his fingers against his crossbow nervously as he finally mustered up the courage to ask her.

"You still comin' tonight?"

Beth looked up him in surprise, her mind likely still on the information he had told her before she spoke. "Told you I was didn't I?"

Daryl nodded almost sheepishly, trying to let her words soothe him although he knew he would likely still worry about her showing up until she actually did. Beth must have seen some of the worry on his face because she offered him a small smile.

"I keep my word Daryl." her serious tone was out of place with her grin but Daryl found himself nodding in agreement anyway.

Her panicked words from a night long ago rang through his mind ( _I'm not gonna leave you!_ ) as he looked down at her. She had left him though, although she hadn't meant to. It was more that she had been taken from him, taken from him again when she had been shot and yet again when she returned with no memory of who any of them were. Yet she still stood before him, a small smile on her lips as they came to a stop in front of her home. She hadn't left him, not really. Somewhere in that new and yet familiar smile was the Beth he had once known.

He was torn from his thoughts when Beth reached forward and placed her hand softly on his arm. "I'll see you tonight." she whispered, her smile falling from her face as she stared at him, trying to get him to believe her. To get him to see the promise she was making in those four little words.

Daryl nodded, his eyes drifting to where her hand rested on his forearm. "Yeah." he muttered before tearing his gaze back up to hers. "Tonight."


	9. Chapter 9

Daryl tapped his fingers against the arm of the couch restlessly before he stood up, the constant jitters of Carl's leg beside him finally becoming too much for him. He stood and tried not to make it look like he was pacing as he walked into the kitchen under the guise of checking on the food before he walked across the room where his family sat and stood scattered about. He was just wondering if he could turn back around and keep walking or if he should go into the hallway when Sasha spoke, leaning forward in her seat as she asked him.

"What time did you tell Beth to be here?"

Daryl paused and blinked at her in surprise. "Time?" he finally grunted out in confusion. He was still not used to people using time as an actual measurement here. People here used clocks and watches instead of the path of the sun to tell them where they were in the day. Daryl had long since written time off as pointless. As far as he was concerned it was just another man made concept that had no more use in this new world.

But apparently his family did not agree, a few of them exchanging looks before hiding sighs behind their hands. "When did you tell Beth she should arrive?" Eugene clarified as though the wording was the problem Daryl had with Sasha's question. He barely managed to stop himself from rolling his eyes, his nerves were to on edge as it was, he did not need to be talked down to.

"Just dinner time." Daryl finally said, shrugging as he turned and began to pace the room. To hell with what the others thought about it.

Maggie's low groan tore his mind back to the others and he turned in time to see her drop her head into her hands.

"Did you even tell her what day it was?" she mumbled into her fingers causing Daryl's skin to bristle in irritation.

"She knows its tonight." he snapped, pointedly ignoring the glare Glenn shot him as he rubbed Maggie's shoulders. He knew full well how hard this was for the others, but it was hard for him too. The minutes kept on ticking by and still there was no sign of Beth.

"She'll be here." he whispered, more for his own reassurance than any of the others.

"Course she will." Rick said, walking over to him with Judith resting in his arms. "Beth said she would come so she will." the man looked like he was going to continue but before he could Judith let out a large belch and a string of vomit slid out of her mouth and onto Rick's sleeve. He let out a noise that was half sigh and half groan of disgust before he held Judith out to Daryl in apology and headed down the hallway to change.

Daryl took her without fuss, certain that she was just as nervous as everyone else to see Beth again. He didn't want to admit it to the others, or really even himself, but he was hoping that Judith would help jog some of Beth's memory. Besides Maggie she was the only person left who Beth had spent the majority of her time with. And yeah, Judy might not have been Beth's daughter through birth but Beth had mothered her more than any of the women in their group after Lori died. Maybe some part of Beth would remember her.

He was still musing over the thought when there was a soft knock on the door.

XxX

"It's okay to be nervous." Morgan said in a quiet voice as Beth dropped her hand back to her side. She looked over at him wearily, wondering if her nerves for the evening were painted across her face as he promised her. "We'll leave whenever you're ready."

Beth smiled at him in gratitude as the door swung open. Her eyes flitted back to the open doorway and she found she was not the slightest bit surprised to see Daryl framed in it. She thought she heard him breathe a sigh of relief but her attention had been caught by something else entirely.

"You have a baby?" she asked in shock as she stared at the child he held loosely in his arms. Beth would have thought that would be something he would have mentioned to her by now, even if she hadn't asked. She could not tear her eyes away from the smiling little blonde girl in his arms as she cooed indecipherablely. Daryl grunted in surprise and Beth looked up at him to see him open his mouth to speak but suddenly a man was standing behind him and gripping his shoulder.

"She's my daughter."

Beth's eyes flickered to the man, his blue eyes held hers as Daryl passed the baby over to him gratefully. Although his face was covered in a short graying beard Beth thought that there was something familiar in the shape of his features. Not familiar like a memory but familiar in something she had seen in her time here. She was still trying to remember if she had seen his face around town when he spoke again.

"I'm Rick Grimes." the man said holding out his free hand to her. Beth hesitated for just a moment before she reached out and took it. Rick squeezed her hand tightly as he shook it and she found herself wondering when she met this man. Had she known him before the world was overrun by the dead or did she meet him after like she had with Daryl?

"He's Carl's dad." Daryl's voice interrupted her inner musings and Beth found herself nodding, suddenly understanding why the man's face had seemed familiar to her. She had met Carl a few days ago and she had been surprised by how at ease she had immediately felt around him, although part of her suspected it was mainly due to his young age.

"What's her name?" Beth asked after a brief pause, trying to pull herself out of her thoughts as she nodded towards the child in the older man's arms.

Rick and Daryl spoke at the same time.

"Judith."

"Little ass kicker."

Rick and Morgan laughed but Daryl was simply staring at her as he often did, as though he had just provided her with some vital information in the child's strange but surprisingly cute nickname. Beth was just opening her mouth to comment on it when her mind shoved something forward without warning.

A dingy white plastic tub with the words 'Little Ass Kicker' written across it in loopy handwriting that looked very much like her own.

Beth's mouth shut with a snap and she tried to hide the effect the flash of memory had on her as she let Rick shepherd her and Morgan into the house.

XxX

Daryl made sure to stay by her side as they walked into the room. He caught the way Beth's eyes flickered to the door a few times before she took in the expectant faces staring up at her from around the room. It seemed as though all of them were holding their breath, unsure of what the protocol in this situation should be. Daryl didn't know what to do, if he should take Beth around the room to each person or just point them out where they stood and say their names. Luckily he was spared from having to make the choice when Abraham pushed off from where he was leaning against the wall and headed towards them.

Before anyone could even feel nervous about his method he was in front of Beth and holding out his hand for her to shake.

"Sergeant Abraham Ford." Beth hesitated for a second, her eyes flickering to Daryl's briefly. At his quick nod she swallowed and reached her hand forward to grasp Abe's large one in a firm but short shake. "Good to meet you." the man smiled at her before his eyes drifted to Daryl's and he knew Abraham meant what he said. He was glad to meet Beth even if it was just to see some of the pain of her loss leave their group.

Spurred by his actions the others started to drift forward. Beth had already met some of them and Daryl saw the ones she met lingering where they stood, clearly willing to give everyone else a chance to get reacquainted with her before they came over.

Tyreese came next, he did not offer Beth his hand to shake as he stood in front of her clearly heeding to the warning Daryl had given them about Beth not wanting to be hugged. "I'm Tyreese." he said in his calming voice before nodding his head to where Sasha sat. "Sasha's my little sister."

Beth's eyes lit up a little at that and she nodded before whispering. "I've met Sasha." Daryl almost smiled at how proud she sounded to not be completely in the dark with their group's dynamic as Tyreese smiled at her sadly before walking away to where his sister sat.

After Tyreese Eugene came forward saying his name briefly before walking away. Daryl wasn't surprised by his lack of conversation, he was often awkward around all of them when there was nothing nerdy or vaguely scientific in the conversation. Daryl didn't know if meeting everyone was getting easier for Beth or if it was because she had never met Eugene before but she did not look nearly as nervous to meet him as she had with the first few people she had met.

Father Gabriel came forward then, clasping one of her hands in both of his. Daryl saw Beth's spine straighten and heard her sharp intake of breath at his touch. From the corner of his eye he saw Morgan, who was standing only a few feet away on her other side, take a step forward at the sound. Daryl couldn't help but feel like they were Beth's own personal guard dogs, not that either of them seemed to mind as they flanked her on either side.

Luckily the preacher made it fast, seeming to sense the unease his touch had given the trio. "I'm Father Gabriel. Its so wonderful to meet you." he patted Beth's hand once as he continued. "It is such a miracle that you survived and that you're here. It truly is an act of God."

He dropped Beth's hand with a smile before walking away. She cast a quick glance up at Daryl and he was pleased to see that she looked more confused than scared. He shrugged to let her know that the Father was harmless and she nodded before turning back to the last two people she had yet to meet.

"Hey Beth." the smile Glenn threw her was so easy that Daryl was not surprised to see her give him the smallest of smiles in return. "I'm Glenn."

Beth mumbled a quick hello and Daryl felt like everyone in the room drew in a collective breath as her eyes flickered to the last member of their group. Daryl's heart began to beat faster as he watched her face closely, searching for some kind of flicker of recognition as her sister spoke in a surprisingly clear voice.

"I'm Maggie."

And the whole room seemed to freeze as they waited, waited for something to click inside Beth's mind, waited for the damaged parts of her brain to recognize her older sister. Waited for her to burst into tears as all of her memories suddenly came rushing to her.

But all Beth did was smile.

XxX

After the introductions Rick managed to hold everyone off from approaching her so that they could all get some of the food that was clustered in mismatching dishes on the table. Beth waited until nearly everyone else had gotten their plates so that she did not have to stand in the small kitchen pressed tightly next to all of them. She hung back next to Morgan and Daryl and watched with a slight pang of envy at the ease with which the group interacted with each other.

The small laughs as someone said a joke that didn't quite reach her ears, the hand Glenn placed on Maggie's lower back as they walked back to their seats, the way Carl managed to duck around the others like he could sense their movements before they made them. Beth couldn't stop watching them all move like they were all pieces of a machine, working together in sync. She found herself wondering if she had once fit inside their dynamic that easily and if they could still feel the strain of her absence in their movements.

Finally the kitchen was empty enough that when Daryl touched her arm to lead her towards the table she went without protest. She picked a few spoonfuls of food at random, not sure if she would even be able to keep anything down with all of the fluttering nerves in her stomach.

Plate of food in hand she walked back into the crowded room with Daryl, nodding gratefully at Morgan when he told her he was going to speak to Rick but to just grab him the second she was ready to leave. Shoving the nerves down she settled against the wall next to Daryl as all of the chairs were already taken. Beth didn't mind standing, it provided her with a better vantage point to observe the others with.

Most of them seemed content on giving her space, the fact that she was in the room with them seemed to be enough for now. A few of them, Maggie especially, kept staring at her, their eyes flickering away the moment that she caught them looking. The food Beth spooned into her mouth all tasted the same and she did not really notice what she was eating as she watched everyone. The conversations were scattered as everyone ate but finally Beth felt she could not force any more food down. She settled her spoon on her plate and wondered if the others were expecting her to start the conversation, if she was supposed to go to each of them and talk to them or wait for them to come to her.

She had just passed her plate to Daryl, who walked around her to take it into the kitchen, when Carl stood up and walked over to her. He leaned against the wall in Daryl's vacant spot just as the man came back. Daryl didn't say anything and just settled in on Beth's other side. She found herself shifting imperceptibly to the left so that their arms just brushed before she turned to Carl.

"Daryl told me I met him on a farm." she said softly, curious now as to how she had met all of the people in this room the first time. "Is that when we met?"

Carl looked delighted to be included in her questioning, for her to be trying to learn about her past. He nodded quickly as he spoke. "Yeah. I got shot." he explained, causing Beth's eyes to widen in surprise. She had not expected injury to be a part of why Daryl and some of the others had gone to her family's farm.

She didn't quite know what to say in response to that and Carl looked like he was about to continue but suddenly Daryl was speaking, his breath tickling her face as she turned her head back to face him.

"You wanna know how you met everyone?"

XxX

He didn't know why he had asked her the question, they had agreed after all to let Beth ask questions in her own time. But Daryl had been so sure in that moment that Carl was about to bring up Hershel and how he had saved him and Daryl did not know how Beth would react to hearing about the father she didn't remember only to be told that he was dead.

Thankfully Beth was nodding at him, looking up at him expectantly to fill in some of the blanks that were her mind. Daryl cast Carl a quick look that he hoped the boy understood meant not to mention anyone that wasn't still with them as they spoke.

"Rick, Carol, and Glenn you met at the farm." Daryl said softly, nodding to each member as he said their name. He paused to let Beth absorb this information, waiting to speak until she had nodded it was okay for them to continue.

"Michonne, Sasha and Tyreese you met at the p-" Carl cut himself off quickly at Daryl's slight shake of his head. Beth didn't know about the prison yet and that would likely only make her more confused. Daryl wanted to give her answers right now, not more questions. "You met at a place we stayed for a while." Carl finished lamely, shrugging slightly at Daryl's look of exasperation. "You met Judy there too." he continued quickly in the awkward pause that had descended on them.

Beth bit her lip as she nodded slowly, her eyes darting around the room to take in everyone, most of whom were still casting looks over at her every few minutes. The conversations in the room had lulled almost to a stop as everyone listened in on the information Carl and him were providing Beth with.

She looked okay for them to continue so Daryl offered her the last member she had known before everything happened, "You met Noah at-"

"The hospital." Beth nodded quickly, turning her head to meet Daryl's look of surprise with a explanation. "I ran into him the other day."

It was Daryl's turn to nod as he learned this new information. He had not known Noah had even re-met Beth before that night let alone that he had told her anything about her past. He would have to talk to the boy later, find out everything he told Beth.

"Then that's everyone." Daryl said with a shrug before turning to look at her. "You didn't meet anyone else before..." his voice trailed off not knowing the best way to phrase her being shot in the head and everyone in the room thinking she was dead.

A strange look flickered across Beth's face then and she frowned as she stared across the room at her sister. "But what about her?" Beth whispered before she craned her neck to look up at Daryl. He suddenly remembered then why Beth had made her no hugging rule in the first place. Maggie's head rose to look at them open mouthed as Daryl silently began to curse himself before the question even left Beth's lips.

"How did I meet Maggie?"

XxX

Beth felt the effect her question had on the group instantaneously.

It was there in the look of pain on Daryl's face that he was trying hard not to show her, it was in the scattered sighs and groans she heard from the other's in the room, it was in the sharp intake of breath Carl took from beside her, but mostly it was in the woman she was questioning about herself. Beth turned back to face her in time to see her stand, waving off Glenn's reaching hand before she headed for the door and slipped outside of it.

Everyone in the room seemed to sink into themselves as the door shut behind her. Beth darted her gaze around at the group but no one seemed to be able to meet her eyes at the moment. She turned desperately to Daryl in the hopes that he would be able to offer her some form of an explanation but he was simply staring at the closed door with a frown.

Beth's eyes trailed to the door as well and she knew that whatever had made that woman leave, whatever was causing everyone to suddenly be unable to look at her was big. It was the reason why Maggie had hugged her that first night, had cupped her face in her hands and stared at her in wonder. Whatever the reason was it was important and no one in the room seemed to want to be the one to explain it to her.

With a slight huff of irritation to cover how scared she really was Beth headed across the room, placing her hand on Glenn's arm to stop him from opening the door. He met her eyes with a look of surprise as she shook her head and took a deep breath before slipping out the door herself.

XX

The moment the door shut for the second time Daryl was moving forward, cursing himself for not having told Beth about Maggie before she came to dinner and especially for not telling her before she walked outside. He had just been caught so off guard by her question. Even though he had known, they had all known, that Bet didn't remember anything he had still not thought to include Maggie in the ways Beth had first met everyone. He was cursing his oversight now, it was his fault that both of the Greene sisters were now hurting and had fled the house.

Carol's quiet voice broke through to him then as she whispered to the room at large, "Every time I think I've accepted it, that I've come to terms with Beth not remembering us, something like this happens."

Daryl found himself nodding along as he stood next to Glenn, both of them staring at the door as if they could see through it, desperately wanting to know what was happening on the other side. Yet they both seemed to know not to even attempt to go out there, not until they heard screaming voices at least. Beth would have to learn eventually who Maggie was and it seemed that tonight was as good a night as any.

XxX

Maggie was sitting huddled on the top porch step, staring out down the street when Beth came outside. At the sound of the door clicking shut behind her Maggie looked over her shoulder, surprise flickering across her face as she saw who it was. She looked away quickly and Beth decided not to comment on the tears she was brushing away hastily as she sunk down beside her on the steps.

Beth knew she should say something but she was unsure of where to begin. Her brain felt overloaded from all the people she had met that evening and all of the information they had given her so she didn't really know what to say. After a few minutes of silence Beth finally decided to just ask the question that had been on the back of her mind since the night she had first walked into this house.

She had to clear her throat before speaking, choosing to stare out down the empty street instead of looking at the woman beside her. "That night when you first saw me-" Beth paused to take a deep breath and gather her courage before she asked in a rush, "Why did you hug me?"

Maggie let out a shaky laugh devoid of humor at the question. Beth looked over at her from the corner of her eye and saw that she was staring down at her hands twisted in her lap. After a moments pause Maggie finally shrugged before she whispered, "I thought you were dead."

Beth found herself shaking her head almost immediately, that wasn't it and they both knew it. They were both all to well aware of the fact that everyone in that house had thought she was dead but this woman had dropped a glass and ran to fold her in her arms while everyone else just stared in shock. "No." Maggie looked over at her then, surprised at the forcefulness in Beth's voice as she asked her again.

"Why did _you_ hug me?"

And this time they were looking at each other when she asked it and Beth knew she was right in thinking that she was asking something big. That the answer was why Maggie was fighting off tears, why she had run out of the house when Beth asked how they met. Beth suddenly felt like she was on the edge of a cliff and that the answer was about to push her over it but still her curiosity almost outmatched her fears.

Maggie drew in a deep breath and the second she opened her mouth Beth thought she already knew the answer. The words do not shock her nearly as much as she had expected as Maggie whispered, "You're my sister."

XxX

The soft sounds of the group talking behind them fill his ears like dull background noise as Daryl crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the closed door in front of him. He desperately wanted to go outside, to make sure that Maggie hadn't scared Beth off and to make sure that both women were even still out there. For all he knew Maggie had left for her home when she walked outside. Shifting his weight Daryl told himself that wasn't true. Maggie wouldn't have left for good, just for a moment to get some air. But if that was the case and she was still out there then Daryl knew Beth would be trying to talk to her. He didn't know how well that was going to go.

He was so wrapped in his thoughts that Glenn had to say his name twice before he looked over at him with a grunt.

"What all have you told Beth?" Glenn asked curiously, seeming as desperate to go outside and check on the girls as Daryl was. Since they both knew that they shouldn't interrupt whatever was happening out there Glenn seemed to just be trying to distract himself.

Daryl looked at him for a moment before finally answering with a shrug. "Not much." Glenn was still staring at him, clearly expecting more so Daryl let out a soft sigh. "She just started askin' me questions today." he explained before turning his gaze back to the door and wondering if Beth would be mad if he opened it just a crack to check on her.

Glenn was silent for a minute before he spoke again, his voice soft as he wondered, "Do you think she'll ever remember?"

Daryl let the question he had been too scared to say out loud sink in to him, to fully consider the possibility that Beth might never get her memories back. He knew it was possible, in fact it was more than likely that she would never be the Beth that he remembered but that didn't matter to him anymore. She was still Beth just different was all. He would rather have a Beth who was alive and didn't remember him than no Beth at all.

But still, would she remember? He didn't know, had no idea of what to expect with an injury like hers. He wasn't sure if he himself fully believed the words that came from his mouth next but he said them anyway, to remind himself as much as Glenn.

"Wouldn't kill you to have a little faith."

XxX

Her eyes snapped shut at the words and Beth waited in the darkness for the panic to set in and take over her. Nothing came and instead of a wave of distorted noises all she heard was the ragged sound of her and her sister's breaths. After a moment Beth let her eyes flutter open, turning slightly so that she could inspect the stranger's face beside her in the hopes that she would see some of her own features reflected at her.

Maggie stared back at her, not questioning her even as the minutes ticked by silently. Beth could see very little physical resemblance between them. They both had the same slim form but Maggie's skin was tanner than Beth's own pale flesh. Their eyes were of a similar shape but different shades, Beth's leaning more towards blue than Maggie's green ones. Besides that, no matter how much she searched the older woman's features she could see nothing else connecting them.

No part of her seemed to recognize her either, her face did not stir any memories lose in Beth's mind as they sat in a steadily stretching silence. Mere seconds after Beth accepted the fact that she could not remember even the slightest thing about this woman she saw a flash of pain cross her sister's face as she realized what Beth had.

They were still strangers.

Beth opened her mouth, unsure of what to say or do. Part of her felt like she should apologize for not remembering Maggie but a larger, more stubborn part of her, reminded herself that she had done nothing wrong and therefore should not apologize for it.

But before she could say anything Maggie turned her head away, staring off down the dark street as she whispered more to herself than to Beth. "Maybe one day you'll remember us."

Beth stirred at the admission, she had wondered and sometimes even hoped for the same thing herself. Part of her would love to have her memory back, to truly know who these people were so she could celebrate her return with them. A larger part of her was scared to regain her memories, scared that she would not like who she had been and that she would lose who she had become. But the largest part of her was terrified that no matter what she wanted she would never get her memories back and would have to live with random sporadic flashes of her past showing up whenever they pleased.

It was her fear that she would never know what these people used to mean to her and her fear that they would give up on her as time passed and no real memories returned that made her ask the question, "What if I never remember?"

Beth was not sure what answer she had been expecting but she had not expected the affect her question would have on the woman beside her. Maggie's spine straightened and her shoulders set back and as she did this Beth suddenly saw the resemblance between them in the stubborn set of her features as she turned to look at her.

"It doesn't matter." Beth could hear the heavy layer of pain and guilt in her voice and somehow she knew that even with all of her memories intact she would not be able to fully understand the guilt with which her sister was looking at her. "If you never remember us, _me_." Maggie swallowed hard and blinked quickly to fight off tears Beth knew that she was simply to stubborn to shed. "It doesn't matter."

Beth opened her mouth to protest that of course it mattered. Maggie might say it didn't now but next week, or month, or _year_ , when Beth still couldn't remember their parents or anything substantial before she was shot that it would matter very much to all of them then. That eventually Maggie would get sick of having to explain every little story to her, of telling inside jokes and being met with only silence. And after it became apparent that nothing was returning to her, well how long would any of them stick around after that?

Maggie must have seen some of her doubts on her face because she suddenly reached out, taking Beth's hand in her own as she whispered, "I already gave up on you once Beth." Her green eyes were swimming with tears as they stared at each other but none of them fell as she promised with a gentle squeeze of her hand.

"I won't do it again."

XxX

The sound of the door opening had Daryl nearly jumping forward to see which of the Greene sisters was coming inside. Both him and Glenn reeled back in surprise to see both of the girls walking in, Maggie looking wrung out and Beth looking as confused as ever but all together okay. There was no sign of fresh panic in her eyes as she looked at him, seemingly as unsurprised to find him waiting for her as everyone else was.

Glenn wrapped Maggie in a side hug as they went to join the others and Daryl watched in a surprising flicker of jealously as he pressed a kiss to Maggie's temple. He wished he could be as generous with his touches but all he could do was touch Beth's elbow, raising his eyebrows at her to make sure everything was okay.

Beth hesitated for just a second before nodding with a small smile and letting him lead her back to the others.

The room was too quiet when they entered and Daryl knew that Beth must be aware that they had all been waiting for her and Maggie to come back inside but she did not comment on it. Slowly the room began to raise to its normal volume as people begin to pick up conversations. As everyone began speaking Daryl leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"You alright?"

She was much closer than he had realized for he felt some of her hair tickle his face as she nodded. "I have a sister." she whispered in return, turning to look up at him with eyes full of wonder. Daryl's heart seized at the little bit of joy in her voice but before he could even think of anything to say in return Judith began to cry where she sat playing with her favorite toy of red plastic cups.

At her first cry half the people in the room immediately moved to go to her, all of them far too used to being out in the open where any noise was an unnecessary risk. Even behind the safety of the walls people always jumped at her slightest sound. Rick, Michonne, Carl, and Tyreese were all moving towards Judith as the first cry left her mouth but in the end it was Beth who got to her first.

XxX

Beth thought she was just as bewildered as everyone else in the room to suddenly find herself holding the baby.

She hadn't meant to do it, she had not even consciously thought to pick the wailing child up but when Judith started crying her feet had just moved.

The weight of her was surprisingly heavy as Beth settled her onto her hip, wrapping one arm around her back and holding the other one underneath her bottom. She couldn't remember ever having held a baby, she hadn't even met any children until she had arrived in the safe zone. But just like when she had shot Daryl's crossbow that afternoon her body could remember what her brain could not and she simply knew how to hold the child.

Even as she made soft shushing noises Judith did not cease in her persistent crying. Although a small part of her just wanted to pass the baby back over to Rick or anyone else Beth stubbornly refused. She pretended not to notice the way everyone was watching her, staring at her like she was taking some form of a test as she shifted Judith higher up on her hip. She started to hum softly in the hopes that the sound would calm the baby down and as her cries lowered to a fussing Beth couldn't help the grin from forming on her lips.

She knew then what the child wanted from her as she looked up at her with big tear filed eyes. Beth did not know where the words came from, she could not remember hearing the song before but soon the lyrics were pouring out of her. Just before she started to sing she wondered if she should feel embarrassed to sing in front of all of these people but the thought passed so quickly that she wondered if she had sang for them all before.

XxX

Just the sight of her holding Judith was enough to send Daryl's mind back to the prison. He found himself wishing, not for the first time, that Beth remembered them or at the very least the little girl she held in her arms. The girl she had risked her own life for to go back into that burning walker infested prison to try to save.

His thoughts were running so fast that when she started singing, so softly at first that it was barely a whisper, he didn't even notice. It was not until Judith's fussing had quieted to the occasional babble and the room had fallen into a serene hush that Beth's voice managed to break through to him.

"Well, he gave her a dimestore watch and a ring made from a spoon."

His own breath left him as he recognized the song, as he heard the echo of her own voice singing it behind dark prison walls.

"Everyone is looking for someone to blame but you share my bed, you share my name." he was barely able to tear his eyes away from Beth but he had to check, had to know that he was hearing this and that others could hear it too.

"Well, go ahead and call the cops you don't meet nice girls in coffee shops." Rick had settled next to Carl on the couch, both of them watching Beth sing to Judith in fascination. Michonne sat on the arm of the couch next to Rick and Daryl noticed the way she was gripping Rick's shoulder tightly. Daryl could see the memory of Beth singing this song before shining bright in their eyes as they watched her.

"She said baby, I still love you. Sometimes there's nothin left to do." Beth's sweet voice was still falling in his ears as Carol met his eyes from across the room, her face breaking into a smile as Beth sang. The others sitting near her were smiling too but they hadn't been there that night. They didn't understand the full power of this song.

"Oh you got to hold on, hold on. You got to hold on." Glenn met his eyes with a look of joy but Maggie could not tear her eyes away from her sister, tears dripping from her eyes unabashedly as Beth began to walk in tiny circles, still singing to Judith like they were the only two people in the world.

"Take my hand, I'm standing right here, you got to just hold on." Beth pressed Judith closer to her hip before taking her hand off her backside and letting the girl wrap her fingers around it tightly with a smile that told Daryl that while Beth not remember Judith, the little girl in her arms remembered her.

As Beth continued singing all Daryl could think of was the last time she sang this song, back when Merle stood watching from the doorway and her dad had stood beside him. Back when, even though they had the danger of the Governor looming heavy over their heads, Beth had managed to shove that fear away from them even if it was just for the night. That night Daryl had felt the first stirrings of hope that they could beat the sadistic bastard who seemed hell bent on running them out of their home or killing them. At the time he had thought his hope stemmed from the compilation of seeing Andrea and his brother alive again and that Beth's song had simply given him the final uplifting he needed but now he knew that wasn't true. Now he knew it was simply Beth singing that damn song because he could feel it lifting his spirits again.

"I miss your broken-china voice how I wish you were still here with me."

As Beth walked in her small circles singing to Judith Daryl felt hope stir in his chest at the sight. Hope that someday, somehow, her memories would come back to her. No matter how slowly, or how broken up they were, one day Beth would get all of her past back. And until that day he would simply fill in the missing pieces.

"Hold on, hold on, you really got to hold on. Take my hand, I'm standing right here and just hold on."

XxX

As her voice drifted off into silence Beth finally realized that the crying she was hearing was not coming from the child she held in her arms. Slowly she lifted her head and realized that nearly everyone in the room was simply staring at her. She felt her cheeks begin to redden in embarrassment that quickly drifted to confusion when she realized that Maggie was the one crying and Glenn, who had his arm wrapped tight around her, looked like he was trying not to cry as well, although he looked like he wanted to out of happiness.

Turning her head Beth did a quick survey of the room, surprised when she realized quite a few people looked like they had seen a ghost.

Some of them looked fine of course, Rosita was leaning back into Abraham's arms and neither of them were even looking at her as they stared at each other. Father Gabriel was smiling at her and looking like he was about to start clapping but thankfully Noah, who was sitting next to him, reached over and pushed his hands down before meeting Beth's eyes with a grin.

Carol gave her a smile that Beth could not make sense of whether it was happy or sad and in the chairs next to her Tyreese and Sasha were just simply watching her, although Tyreese's fingers were tapping lightly on his leg and Beth wondered if he had known the song as well and had been keeping time with her. Tara and Eugene stood a little bit away from them and they looked happy from the music although both seemed a bit confused by how everyone else was acting.

On the couch across from her Carl was leaning heavily against his father and Michonne was sitting on Rick's other side, her arm resting on his shoulder. All three of them were watching her with wide and sad eyes. Morgan stood leaning against the wall beside them and he simply shrugged at her, as confused by the strange atmosphere in the room as she was.

Finally Beth turned her gaze to Daryl's, biting her lip at the sudden twinge of embarrassment for singing in front of everyone. But the second their eyes met the embarrassment faded as quickly as it came. His eyes were locked onto hers with an intensity she had never seen in his gaze before.

The moment that thought occurred to her something strange happened. She was still looking at Daryl from across the room but she was also suddenly seeing him looking at her from a much closer distance, a jar in his hand and candlelight bathed across his face as he stared at her with just as much intensity as he was looking at her with now.

Beth blinked in shock and the vision was gone as quickly as it had come and in that second she realized what it must have been.

A memory.

Her first memory of a face that was not covered in blood and walkers. A face that she already knew.

The face of the man standing before her.

The weight of it began to sink into her as heavy as the child in her arms. Beth was still staring across the room at Daryl as the word slipped past her lips like a breath.

_"Oh."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song was 'Hold On' by Tom Waits.


	10. Chapter 10

"You can't move the fucking fences!"

Daryl had to physically restrain himself from leaning across the large oak desk to grab the old man by his lapels. Douglas Monroe steepled his hands together on the desk, his eyebrows lowering as he glared across at Daryl.

"People are growing restless at the lack of space here. We are getting more and more residents every week and soon we will be out of houses to offer them." Douglas said placatingly, as though Daryl was a toddler having a temper tantrum. He looked about to continue on his spiel but Daryl cut him off.

"Then make people start sharing houses!" he leaned down lower so that he was staring straight into Douglas's narrowed blue eyes. "You have any idea how many walkers we've taken down out there the past few days?"

The older man let out a long sigh as he tapped his finger against his chin. "I am aware of the sudden increase but-"

"But nothin'!" Daryl cried pushing off the desk to tower over the man, crossing his arms over his chest with a glare. "We might have a herd coming our way. You want them to find us with part of that wall down?"

The older man's eyes narrowed even further but thankfully he kept quiet as he thought over what Daryl was saying. Daryl kept his glare trained on him, silently cursing the oversight of his thinking that had caused him to be in this stuffy office so early in the morning.

"I suppose construction can be pushed back a few more days." Douglas finally said stiffly as he leaned back in his chair. "And we could have a few of the smaller groups move in with others to open up some more of the houses."

Daryl fought the sudden urge to roll his eyes as the man said these things like he was granting Daryl a gift instead of helping protect his community. "Good." Daryl grunted before turning to leave, his hand had just closed around the doorknob when the sound of his name stopped him. He cast a look at Douglas over his shoulder, the heat of the man's glare not effecting him even as he spoke in a dangerous tone.

"Dixon. Don't question my authority again."

That time Daryl didn't bother to hide his eye roll as he turned out the door.

XxX

The clinic had its own routine and Beth found that she fell into place very quickly. The most common injuries they saw were cuts and sprains, neither of which were very difficult to patch up. Major accidents were rare in the community and besides the man who had been brought in on the day Beth had agreed to work there she had yet to see anything of that caliber.

While she was happy that people were not being hurt the lack of incidents and the ending of the flu outbreak meant that she and the other aides were left with a lot of downtime. This would not have been a bad thing except that more often than not it left Beth alone with her thoughts which was the one place she did not want to be right now.

It had been three days since the dinner with her family. Three days where every time she looked at Daryl she nearly held her breath in anticipation for another flash of memory. Three days in which the only memory she received came to her in her sleep and was of riding a horse bareback. She still wasn't entirely sure if it was a dream or a memory.

As each day passed Beth began to realize that she had been right in thinking that telling others about the memories she was receiving would be a terrible idea. She would only get their hopes up when, in truth, she had yet to remember anything of real importance and the things she did remember she did not even fully understand. So she promised herself to tell no one about any of the flashes until she remembered something substantial, until not asking if it was a real memory or not was more painful then staying quiet.

Even though she would not talk to anyone about the memories Beth did have a sudden burning desire to find out more about her past. Meeting everyone had made her insanely curious as to how they had all gone from being strangers to family. She tried to ask everyone she saw at least one question a day but it was always hard for her to decide what to ask. Beth was not just trying to learn about her past from these people but to get to know them as well. It was becoming more apparent to her from what she had been told that she had once thought of these people as her family. She wanted to get to know them so that maybe one day, even without her memories, they could be that again.

XxX

Even as the morning gave way to afternoon Daryl was still silently fuming up on his guard post. The old man who ran their small community did many things that helped the community grow and more importantly he had kept them all alive so far. But the man had only lived outside of the walls safety for a short period of time. Either he had not seen many dangers out there or he did not remember how to deal with them because he did not seem to understand the danger he would be putting the whole community into by trying to expand the fences until they were sure that the sudden influx of walkers they were facing was not a herd.

Daryl had already asked the runners to keep an extra careful eye out at the amount of walkers while they were out there. Not just for their own safety but for that of the town as well. Daryl knew what a herd could do to a place, even with walls. With Beth here he was finally starting to think that this place could one day be a home. He did not want to lose it to a group of walkers and Douglas Monroe's stupidity.

Thinking about Douglas only kept him angry so instead Daryl tried to think about the one thing that always seemed to calm him down, Beth. He had missed seeing her that morning since he had to go talk to Monroe and that fact only made him more annoyed at the man.

His walks with Beth were starting to increase in their length, now when he met up with her after work they would often walk around the community for a bit before he walked her home. It was Daryl's favorite part of the day if he was being honest with himself.

Not only was Beth starting to ask him more questions about their shared past but they would also often pass the time by talking about mundane things, such as how their days went. The easiness of the conversations never failed to surprise him with how much it felt like when the two of them were out in the woods on their own. When they were only talking about the present Daryl could almost forget that Beth didn't know about her past.

XxX

Rubbing her temples in the hopes that it would help dull the beginning of the headache Beth could feel forming she slipped out of the nearly empty clinic to begin her solo walk home. Denise had kept her even after the other aides had left so that she could do a quick check up of Beth's eye and hand. She had been staring at the eye chart for so long in the attempts to see more past the black spots clouding her eye that her head was beginning to throb.

She was coming out much later than usual and so she was not surprised to see that Daryl was nowhere to be seen outside. She felt a small pang of disappointment at the nearly empty street but she had not truly expected to find him waiting for her. Beth had just grown so accustomed to their daily walks that not seeing him at all that day filled her with a strange sense of discontent.

Her shoes made slight scrapping sounds as she headed down the stairs, rubbing her numb fingers as she walked and tried to hide her disappointment. It was just one day after all, she would see Daryl again in the morning. Whatever had kept him this morning had clearly not been an illness or she would have seen him at the clinic at some point in the day. Beth tried to remind herself that sometimes things simply happened and he must have been held up by something at his house, it was not as big of a deal as she was making it.

Sighing, Beth pushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear, shaking her head at her antics. She would see Daryl in the morning and she would stop fretting over him and the teeny flash of memory she had gotten in the meantime. Even though that seconds long memory was never very far from her mind.

The sound of her name drew her from her thoughts and Beth stopped to look back over her shoulder, surprised to see Maggie heading her way with a nervous smile.

Beth returned the smile with equal nerves, she had yet to spend any time alone with her sister since finding out about her. They had seen each other on the streets a few times and exchanged hellos but Daryl or Glenn had always been there as well. Beth had not yet been ready for anymore one on one time with Maggie. But her sister was stopping beside her now and Beth decided maybe it was time to get some answers to the question that had been bugging her for the past few days.

As the older woman fell into step beside her Beth began to fidget with the hem of her shirt. Maggie had just opened her mouth to say something when Beth cut her off. "What happened to our parents?"

A pang of guilt ran through her as Maggie stuttered to a stop as her eyes closed briefly. It was clear from the look on her face that she had not expected Beth to ask her such a thing when she had approached her. But even though she felt guilty Beth felt more curious than anything. She had been wanting to ask someone the question for the past few days, ever since the group dinner where the only blood family member she found out she had was the older sister standing before her. Beth knew by now that they had to be dead. She had remembered her mother's death after all and the lack of her father in the town led her to believe the only possibility of his absence was death.

Judging from the look on Maggie's face however their parents had died was not a pretty story.

"They're gone." Maggie finally admitted, her eyes still shut. She opened them slowly to look at Beth, who met her eyes wearily at the suddenly exhausted look her sister was giving her. "We're half sisters." she finally said, causing Beth to nod slowly as she finally understood the lack of physical resemblance between them.

"My mother." Maggie let out a sigh as she shrugged. "She died when I was a kid. Then Daddy got married to your mom, Annette." Beth rolled the name around in her head, trying to connect it to the blonde woman whose death she had so briefly remembered.

Maggie looked about to continue on but a flare of curiosity had Beth suddenly interrupting her. "What was dad's name?"

"Hershel." Maggie bit her lip as another flash of pain crossed her face before she shook her head, raising her hand to push some of her short brown hair out of her face. "Annette had a newborn boy when she and Dad got married. Shawn."

"Shawn?" Beth whispered, staring up at Maggie who met her eyes with a look of sadness at the surprise in Beth's voice before she nodded. Beth turned her gaze down the to shirt whose hem she was still twisting in her hands so that Maggie would not have to see the dismayed look in her eyes at the knowledge that they had a brother.

XxX

He felt strangely off kilter like he had forgotten to do something incredibly important. The others kept casting him strange looks from the corner of their eyes and Daryl knew that they could see it too. He just felt like something was wrong and it was all because of the simple fact that he hadn't seen Beth that day.

He had seen her almost everyday since she had miraculously come back into their lives, even if he didn't talk to her he had still seen her around town. Even though it had been weeks and he had accepted the fact that Beth was no longer a hallucination but a real living person it was hard for him not to see her. He had waited outside the clinic to walk her home but after nearly twenty minutes had passed he began to realize that Beth must have left early for some reason so he had turned away and walked home alone.

"I talked to Douglas today." Rick said as he pulled out the chair next to Daryl and sank down into it, resting a babbling Judith on his lap. Daryl made a noise that was a cross between a grunt of acknowledgment and a sigh of exasperation. "He said you came to see him about the fences."

That time Daryl did sigh before he pushed back the chair and stood. Monroe had been plaguing him all morning he was not going to let him interfere with his night as well.

"Gonna shower." Daryl grumbled as he turned away from the table, ignoring Rick calling something out to him about houses as he headed for the bathroom. The novelty of running water, no matter how cold, was still not something he was used to.

XxX

They stood in silence for a long time as Maggie let her try to come to terms with what she had just been told. She had been expecting to hear her parents were dead, she had not anticipated being told she had a dead brother as well.

"When did they die?" Beth finally asked quietly. "Was it before all this?" She knew she did not have clarify that she meant the walkers and the end of a world that she no longer remembered.

Maggie drew in a sharp breath before shaking her head. "After." she whispered.

Beth felt an intense surge of guilt at the question she knew she had to ask next. She had to know for sure. She needed to be certain that the woman whose death she had remembered was in fact her mother. But despite her reasoning for asking the question she did not feel any less guilty as she whispered one word,"How?"

Her sister shook her head quickly at the question, whether because she wanted to spare Beth the answer or because she did not want to rehash the last few moments of their family's lives. "Beth, no. It's not-."

"Please Maggie." Beth pleaded, reaching out to grip her sister's arm tightly causing Maggie to turn her head back to look at her forlornly. "I need to know." she could not tell her about the memory, not now when Maggie was looking at her with eyes full of such sadness

The pair fell into a loaded silence as Maggie likely debated over whether telling Beth would be a bad or good thing. She finally let out a long sigh before answering, her words tumbling out of her quickly as if the pain for both of them would be less if she could get the words out in a rush.

"Shawn and Mom got bit in the first days of the outbreak. We didn't know yet that the bite caused the turn but within a few days." she shrugged as Beth's hand fell from her arm. "They were gone."

Confusion filled her as she nodded for Maggie to continue. The woman's death who she remembered was not a bite that one could survive for a few minutes, let alone a few days. She had assumed, due only to the woman's blonde hair really, that she had been her mother. But if Maggie was telling the truth, and she had no reason to lie, then Beth had remembered someone else's death entirely.

As much as she wanted to question her sister, ask her if she knew whose death she had remembered in her sleep, she knew that she couldn't. Not only did her sister look immensely sad to be talking about the deaths of their family members but Beth knew that telling her about the one memory would make her question if she had remembered anything else. She was not ready to have that conversation with anybody just yet.

"Daddy." Beth looked up at Maggie in time to see her blink back tears as she whispered. "He was murdered. This man he-" Maggie let out a shaky sigh as she shook her head and suddenly the guilt became to much for Beth.

"Its okay." she reached out for Maggie's hand again, squeezing it in comfort as her sister tried to fight back the tears threatening to spill from her eyes as she remembered the death of their father. Beth felt a surge of anger at whatever man had killed the father she might never remember and caused her sister such pain. "You don't have to tell me."

Maggie nodded gratefully, using her free hand to brush at the tears under her eyes. "If you want to talk about it later-" she began but Beth shook her head quickly. If she wanted to know more about how their father died she would ask someone else and spare Maggie this pain.

They fell into silence again, but this time it was not uncomfortable as they began to continue walking in the direction of Beth's house. As they walked an idea slowly began to form in Beth's mind and she bit her lip before turning her head to ask Maggie hopefully.

"Do you have any pictures of them?"

The second the words left her lips she saw Maggie's face fall as she shook her head. Beth fought to keep her disappointment off of her face as she nodded and accepted the fact that she might never know the faces of her family.

XxX

After spending a few hours tossing around restlessly Daryl had finally given up on the idea of sleep. His mind was simply too full of worries about the fences and annoyance that he had not been able to see Beth that day. The house was quiet, its other occupants all asleep in their beds, as he eased open the front door and stepped outside.

Taking in a deep breath of fresh air Daryl placed the cigarette he had traded a squirrel from his last hunting trip for against his lips. He used a match from the stash they had come into the town with thinking briefly of his old silver zippo with longing. Shaking his head he sunk down onto the top porch step and listened to the katydids chirping in some bushes across the street from him.

Even after he had smoked his far overpriced cigarette down to the filter Daryl lingered on the porch, unwilling to leave the coolness of the night air behind just yet. He had never been much of a sleeper, before the turn it had been because more often than not he was crashing on the couch of one of Merle's friends and they usually ended up getting chased out by angry girlfriends in the morning. After the turn, sleeping became a luxury that he could never seem to afford and the nightmares he had been plagued with his whole life had only increased tenfold. He had long since been able to tell when a night would end up being sleepless and this felt like one of them. Daryl saw no need to go back inside the stuffy house when he could enjoy the fresh air out here.

As the night wore on he found himself remembering with longing the days where he had not been cooped up in a house. As much as he enjoyed the safety of the walls here it was hard sometimes for him not to see it as a cage.

XxX

She had fallen asleep with thoughts of farmhouses and family in her mind and her dreams were filled of green rolling hills and windmills. Horses galloping through empty fields and chickens pecking at the ground in front of a worn looking coop. A dark haired boy in overalls leaning his weight against a rake as he laughed at something she could not see.

Her eyes flew open and she sat up with a gasp, her fingers curling into fists around her blanket as she cast frantic glances around the room. Beth closed her eyes tightly, trying to memorize every little detail of the boy she had just seen in her dreams.

_Brown hair, dark eyes, overalls, laughing._

Beth knew who she thought she had just dreamed of but she didn't want to get her hopes up. She had been so sure after all that the memory of the woman being eaten by walkers had been of her mother but she knew now after talking to Maggie that it hadn't been. She couldn't just assume that the boy whose face had just come to her in her dreams was that of her older brother especially when she had just learned of his existence that afternoon.

But she wanted it to be so badly. She wanted to know what the other members of her family looked like more than anything. She would never get to meet them, never know the sound of their voices. Maggie had no pictures, no one in their group did, all she had was her own memories that she could give Beth and Beth wanted more than that. She wanted to know their faces because she knew them, not because she had been told how they looked.

She wanted to believe she had just seen the face of her brother but she did not want to think that only to find out again that she was wrong. This time she needed to be sure. She had to know. Staying quiet this time was not really an option.

Beth pushed the blankets off of her and nearly tripped in her haste to get to the door. She simply had to find out whose faces she had seen in her dreams, had to know if they were really memories like she assumed. She just had to know and there was only one person she trusted enough to ask.

XxX

The sound of feet hitting the pavement caused Daryl to stand in a rush, his eyes peering through the nearly black streets to see the danger someone was running from. Instead he saw only a pale, wild eyed blonde girl running straight towards his front porch.

Daryl quickly stepped down from the porch reaching Beth just as she stumbled to a stop at the edge of his lawn. His hands reached up to grip her forearms as he continued to peer in the darkness for the danger pursuing her.

"What's wrong? Are you okay? Is Morgan hurt?" he grunted, checking her over desperately in a search of blood, whether her own or someone else's.

Beth shook her head, reaching up her hands to grip his arms as she peered up at him. The weight of her gaze finally caused Daryl to look her in the eye. She did not look scared which he found strange considering she had just run across the town barefoot to his porch in the middle of the night.

"Beth what happened?" he finally asked, trying to keep his voice soft so as not to frighten her in her already frantic state. Daryl's mind was going haywire with possible scenarios that would have caused her to run over here. He was imagining walkers breaking through the town, someone attacking her in her house, Morgan being injured and needing help, Beth being hurt somewhere he could not see. In a matter of seconds he had thought up tens of situations, each one worse than the one before. But none of the things he considered prepared him for the words that Beth panted out between her gasps of air.

"I think..." Beth paused as she shut her eyes tightly, seeming to steel herself before she whispered. "I think I remembered my brother."

XxX

"What?" Daryl was staring at her wide eyed, his fingers curling tighter around her upper arms as Beth bit her lip. She was suddenly overcome by an intense fear that she was overreacting over what would turn out to be nothing more than a dream of a face her mind had created. Perhaps she had wanted to know what her brother looked like so badly that her brain had created a face for her.

"I could be wrong." she mumbled shrugging as she stared down at the ground, finding she was suddenly unable to look Daryl in the eye as she explained in a rush. "I had a dream about a boy and Maggie told me about Shawn earlier so I thought it might be him and..." she paused to take a deep breath before looking back up at Daryl who was still staring down at her with his mouth slightly open in shock.

"Well you met him didn't you? At my farm?" she pleaded, desperately needing to hear confirmation or denial of whose face she had really dreamed.

A look of pain flashed across Daryl's face briefly but Beth still saw it and her shoulder slumped in immediate defeat. She could tell by looking at him that she had been wrong in assuming he had met her brother. It seemed he had died before Daryl's group arrived at her family farm.

"Oh." she paused to clear away the sudden lump in her throat before continuing. "I was just hoping- I didn't want to tell Maggie. In case I was wrong or-"

"Beth." Daryl's voice cut her off midramble, his hands tightening around her arms as he shrugged. "I saw a picture of him, on your fridge."

Her heart began to beat faster as Daryl rose one his hands to push his overgrown hair out of his eyes as he looked at her. "Tell me what he looked like. I can tell you if it sounds like Shawn."

XxX

His heart was pounding so loudly in his ears that Daryl nearly missed Beth's quiet voice when she began to speak.

"He-he had dark brown hair and eyes." she wrapped her arms around herself, whether because she was cold or because she was trying to protect herself from whatever answer he was about to give her Daryl couldn't tell. "He was wearing overalls and he was laughing at something." Beth her lip before shrugging her shoulders lamely and looking up at him. "That's all."

Daryl closed his eyes as he tried to remember the picture of the boy he had seen briefly in one of his few times inside of the Greene farmhouse. Glenn had been with him and felt the need to point out the boy and the woman who was Beth's mother. The woman whose reanimated corpse he himself had put down merely days before.

He may have only seen the picture briefly but for whatever reason it had stuck with him, nearly all the photos on that damn fridge had. Daryl didn't know why, maybe it was because of how strange it was to try and connect the people in those photos to the walkers he had helped put down. Hell, maybe it was because he had never seen so many photos of a happy family, let alone seen photos taped to someone's fridge before. Whatever the reasoning he remembered the faces in those photos and judging by her description Beth did too.

Daryl opened his eyes again so he could see her face as he nodded. "Sounds like him."

The smallest of noises left Beth and she rose her hands up to cover her mouth but not before Daryl could see the wide beaming smile stretching across it.

XxX

That morning when she had woken up Beth had not even known that she had once had an older brother. Now not only did she know of his existence but she knew his name and even his face.

She could not hide her smile any longer and Beth dropped her hands to her sides to stare up at Daryl who was looking at her with a look of disbelief and wonder in his eyes. He was handling her remembering something a lot better than she had expected of any of them. He was not pressing her for more details on what she remembered about Shawn or how the memory had come about. He wasn't even asking her if she had remembered anything else. Maybe he wasn't asking because he was simply to scared of what the answer might be.

Beth took a deep breath as she took a step around him before sinking down onto the porch steps, certain that if she kept standing she would either start jumping around or faint from excitement. Daryl looked back at her with a brief flicker of confusion before he sank down beside her.

"Do you have any siblings?" Beth asked curiously after they had sat in silence for a moment. Her mind was still reeling with the knowledge that she had remembered Shawn.

"Older brother. Merle." Daryl sighed as he reached up to run his hand across his beard. Beth found she could already recognize his look of sadness as he continued quickly. "He's dead."

"I'm sorry." Beth whispered, suddenly reaching over to place her hand on his forearm. Daryl turned his gaze to her then and he met her look of empathy with a quick pat on her hand on his arm.

"Was a while ago." he muttered, clearly trying to get off the subject. Beth nodded once as she squeezed his arm, trying to let him know without words that if he ever wanted to talk about it she would listen. It was the least she could do after all. Daryl constantly listened to her and was always patiently answering even the smallest of questions. Besides, she wanted to get to know him better too.

Beth suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of guilt that she was always asking Daryl to tell her about her past but never telling him about the things that she remembered. She didn't even fully understand the things that she had seen but she was unwilling to talk to anyone about them in fear of how they would react. But Daryl was handling her remembering her brother far better than she had expected of anyone, perhaps he could handle hearing about the rest of her flashes of memory as well.

It was obvious to her that Daryl had known her for a long time and he had known her very well. She had once known him too, she knew that from the brief memory she had of his face. Beth had several questions about the things she had seen that she thought were memories and since she didn't feel comfortable going to anyone else that left her with one option.

Beth twisted her hands together as she debated over what she was about to do. Finally she whispered nervously, "Daryl can you keep a secret?"

He turned his head to regard her with a look of confusion before he nodded slowly. Beth took a deep breath before reminding herself to be brave and continuing.

"I've been getting these." Beth paused to think up the right word, "Flashes." She turned her head to look up at him as she whispered, "I'm not sure but I think they might be memories."

XxX

Memories. Beth was getting memories.

Daryl could barely wrap his mind around the idea. No matter what he had told himself about keeping hope and faith in her he had not honestly been expecting for her to regain any of her memories, at least not anytime soon.

And yet here she was telling him she had received not one but multiple memories. His voice came out hoarse as he asked desperately, "Like what?"

Even as he asked he knew it didn't matter, not really. The fact that Beth was remembering anything at all was a miracle as far as he was concerned. He didn't dare let himself hope that she had remembered anything about him, that would simply be to much to hold out for.

Beth turned to stare down at her hands as she mumbled. "Its nothing big and I don't know what causes them." she shrugged helplessly before looking back at him, her blue eyes wide in confusion. "They're just flashes really." She seemed to be trying to get Daryl to understand that she had yet to remember anything vivid or important but the fact that she had remembered anything at all was important to Daryl. He nodded for her to continue, nearly holding his breath as he waited for her to speak.

"One of them was of this woman. She was blonde so I thought she was my mom but now." Beth let out a deep sigh before resting her elbows on her knees and dropping her head into her hands. "Now I'm not so sure."

She didn't speak for a long moment and Daryl began to wrack his brain for what woman Beth might have thought was her mother. It could have been anyone really, someone he had never even met perhaps. But it also could have been someone he had so with his mind pulling up memories of Andrea Daryl pressed Beth to continue.

"What did you see?"

She continued speaking to the ground as she whispered. "A blonde woman." she drew a quick breath before whispering, her voice surprisingly steady as she finished. "Her throat being ripped out by walkers."

A flash of pain ripped through Daryl at that. Of all the things for Beth to have remembered that was one of them. He had not seen what she was talking about himself but he knew enough to know the only person it could be. He had spent so little time with the woman himself that the thought of Beth's memory being of her had never even crossed his mind. It should have of course. He knew how close they had been, nearly every time he had seen Beth on the farm the older woman was somewhere close by. And he knew from their time alone together, where Beth would sometimes fill his sullen silence with dull chatter just to have some form of noise that she had thought of the woman like a second mother.

"Patricia." he sighed, causing Beth to lift her head from her hands to look over at him in surprise. Daryl held her eyes as explained to her. "She was a friend of your family." Daryl suddenly wished that he could tell Beth more, that he had spent more time with Patricia so that he had more to offer Beth about her. "Nice woman." he finished lamely.

Beth was quiet for a long moment as she took all of this in. Daryl didn't want to interrupt her thinking, of her acceptance of yet another person she might never know anymore about then their name and their face, but he found he suddenly could not stop himself from asking.

"You remember anything else?"

XxX

"Oh. Yeah." Beth shook her head as she tried to ground herself into the present. She had been whispering the word Patricia in her mind in the hopes that it would shake some memory lose but nothing happened.

"I remember holding a spoon engraved to DC, riding a horse and burning some pages in a fire." She spoke quickly, as if by saying them fast Daryl would not focus on how little there actually was to each memory. Daryl was still staring at her intently like he was trying to memorize every word and suddenly Beth found herself reaching forward and gripping his hand tightly.

"You promise not to tell the others right?" she whispered, knowing even before Daryl nodded in agreement that he wouldn't. Somehow Beth was certain that he would never tell anyone anything if she asked him to keep it between them.

"Promise." he whispered before squeezing her hand.

"Its just that I don't want to get their hopes up if-" Beth found that she could not finish the sentence, somehow afraid that by saying it out loud she would cause it to happen. But still Daryl was nodding and Beth knew without asking that he understood what she was trying to say. She didn't want anyone to know she was remembering even the smallest of things in case it turned out these were the only kind of memories she would ever have. Brief things that made no sense and showed her very little about her past.

Daryl was still staring at her intently, waiting for her to tell him about anything else she had remembered. Beth found herself wanting desperately to tell him that she had seen his face, that she knew by more than just everyone else's words that she had known him once but Beth found herself biting her lip. She could not get his hopes up either and telling him that would certainly do that.

"I remembered a tub with 'little ass kicker' written on it." Beth whispered, her blue eyes searching Daryl's for any sign of disappointment as she lied to him. "That's all."

If he was sad to think that she still did not remember even the smallest thing about him she could not see it. Daryl simply tightened his hand on hers before he whispered, "This is good Beth."

The smallest of smiles was on his mouth as they stared at each other. He must have been able to see the look of disbelief in her eyes at him thinking her getting such few brief memories was a good thing because Daryl whispered again."It's something."

And Beth tore her eyes away from his then, certain in that moment that he would be able to see her lie in them. That he would know she had remembered something about him, a fact that she was not quite ready to share. She was too close to admitting it aloud anyway and Beth knew that doing so would only raise his hopes, perhaps higher than she could reach.

They drifted into silence together, the chilly night air making her shiver. She knew she ought to leave, to go home and try to get some sleep but her body was simply to wired to even contemplate such an idea. Daryl looked to be in no hurry to head inside either but as she shivered again he cast her a look from the corner of his eye before slowly untangling his fingers from hers.

Beth looked over at him, certain that he was going to stand and tell her to go home or that they should go inside so she nearly jumped in surprise to see him lifting his arm up as if to place around her. For a second they both froze, his arm hovering a few inches above her shoulders.

After a moments pause Beth reached up for his hand and pulled his arm down around her. The weight of it felt completely new yet somehow entirely familiar and the sudden warmth had her scooting closer to him.

They sat in companionable silence as the night wore on and soon Beth was letting her head fall to rest on his shoulder before she drifted off to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

Before she had even opened her eyes Beth was overcome with the strangest sense of deja vu. Cracking her eyes open she waited for her sight to adjust to the darkness of the room before she was able to recognize it as the front room of the Grimes's house. Running her fingers over the frayed blanket covering her she couldn't help but wonder if waking up on this couch was going to become a habit of hers as this was the second time she had done so since meeting her family.

As she was thinking this the memory of why she was waking up on this couch hit her and she closed her eyes as a wave of panic rolled over her.

She had told Daryl about her memories and for all she knew he had already told the others about them while she slept. The second she thought this she diminished it with a shake of her head. For reasons she could not even begin to understand she trusted Daryl. If he said he would not tell the others then he would not tell them.

Letting out a small sigh of relief Beth sat up, rubbing a hand over her eyes to clear the sleep from them. She was alone in the room and judging by the small amount of light seeping through the window no one else would be awake yet. Shoving the blanket off of her legs she stood with the idea to find Daryl but before she had barely even gotten to her feet he was walking into the room.

He was wearing different clothes than the night before and Beth could see part of his crossbow where it was strapped across his back. For a moment neither of them spoke but then Beth gave him a small smile before turning back to the couch.

Grabbing the blanket she began to fold it, suddenly unable to look at him as she asked softly. "Did you carry me in here last night?"

The question stirred something in her thoughts but before she could fully grasp it Daryl's voice drew her attention. "It was cold."

Beth tried to hide her smile as she set the folded blanket back on the couch. For some reason the thought of him carrying her filled her with a sense of joy but still, "You could have woken me."

She turned to face Daryl then and his blue eyes held hers with a weight she could not even begin to comprehend as he whispered. "Don't mind carryin' you."

Beth knew there was something more to his words than what she was understanding but she did not feel she should ask. Nodding she went to shove her hands into her pockets only to remember that she was still clad in the worn pajama pants she had found in her house upon arrival.

"I should go change for work." she mumbled, wanting to get off the streets before anyone saw her wondering around barefoot in pajamas. That would only lead to questions and rumors she did not want to have to deal with.

Daryl nodded as he turned towards the door, opening it for her to walk through first. "I'll walk you."

Beth suddenly understood why he was dressed so early in the morning.

XxX

The walk to Beth's house was silent but in a good way. If it weren't for the houses they walked past Daryl could almost convince himself that they were back out in the woods again, just the two of them against the world.

He offered to wait for her to change but Beth waved him off, stating that she could find her way to the clinic on her own. Before he could even wonder if he should feel hurt by that comment Beth was saying she would see him after work and giving him a smile before heading up the steps to her house.

For once it was easy to keep thoughts of Beth from distracting him at work as he shot down walkers and tried to decide if they were from the same group as he had been seeing the last few days. Some of them were so ragged and decayed he knew that they had been dead for a long time and had simply fallen in with the group of recently deceased walkers he had been seeing on and off recently. By the time his shift was over he had taken down eight walkers and his quiver felt looser than it had in a long time. While the people who cleared the bodies away from the wall tried to salvage as much ammunition from the kills as they could they were not always able to keep his home made arrows from breaking as they removed them from skulls.

The thought of making new arrows drifted from his mind as Beth approached him from the clinic. As she did so the thoughts that he had been too distracted to focus on for very long hit him like a punch to the gut. Not only was Beth slowly gaining flashes of her past but she did not want anyone else to know about it. Daryl found the fact that he was the only person to be trusted with her secret both a blessing and a curse. He was happy not to be in the dark on this, knowing that Beth was remembering anything at all gave him hope that she would one day know all of her past. A small part of him was also happy to be the person she trusted the most to keep this secret. But another part of him felt guilty that he could not share this news with anyone else. That everyone else in their group would have to keep on thinking Beth only knew what they told her. He would not lie to himself and say that he was not tempted to confide in Rick or Carol but Daryl knew that no matter how hard it was for him he would tell no one about her memories.

It was not his secret to tell after all and even though Beth was walking towards him with a smile he knew that as hard as all of this was for him it was a hundred times worse for her.

XxX

She was so consumed by her thoughts of the night before that she almost missed it when Morgan began to speak.

"Monroe spoke to me in his office today."

It was the concern in his tone rather than his actual words that had Beth looking up from the corn she was pushing around on her plate.

"Oh?" Beth finally asked as she struggled to place the name. As Morgan began speaking she suddenly remembered the older man she had met briefly upon their arrival. Douglas Monroe, the man in charge of running their small community. He had made very little impression on her in their short time together so it was no wonder why it took her so long to picture his face. Since Beth was not one for socializing she did not know many of the people in the town. She only knew the patients she had seen at the clinic as well as her fellow workers and the family she was slowly trying to reclaim her part in.

"He had some interesting things to tell me about the current population size." Morgan was watching her closely and she found herself nodding to prompt him to continue as a ball of worry began to form in her gut. "The way the population is currently growing they don't have enough space to house any new arrivals."

Beth slowly lowered her fork back to the table as she took in Morgan's carefully delivered words. He had not chosen this topic for dinner conversation lightly. Morgan was the type of man who always made sure what he said was important. If he was taking the time to tell her about this, and Douglas had taken the time to tell Morgan, that could only mean one thing.

"People are going to move in here?" the words barely made it out of her suddenly dry throat and Beth quickly took a sip of water to hide the surge of panic that was beginning to course its way through her veins. Morgan and her would never be allowed to live in such a large house with just the two of them, it made no sense to the community structure. They had only been given a house away from others because of Beth's illness upon arrival. If she had been well they would have placed them in a house with other occupants. At the time the idea only caused Beth a small amount of unease. But now that she was beginning to grow used to the life she was growing here the thought of sharing her home with strangers caused her hands to curl into fists in her lap as she struggled to gain control over the wave of panic now rolling over her.

Beth had grown to foster a deep distrust for strangers. Perhaps it was a combination of having very few memories of the life before she was shot and the fact that even without memories she still knew that people were incredibly dangerous. Whatever the case she found it hard to trust new people, the fact that she had trusted Morgan enough to travel with him in the beginning was still a mystery to her. She was already trying to reconnect with the strangers who were her family and she was only able to do that because she felt secure in the faith that they had not always been strangers. But for people she had really never met, unremembered or not, to share a house with her, Beth didn't know if she would ever sleep again for fear that she would not wake come the morning.

The sound of Morgan saying her name repeatedly finally pulled her out of her raising panic long enough to look across the table at him.

"We have another option." the briefest flicker of uncertainty crossed his face as Beth began to imagine what other choice they could possibly have. The only other option she saw was leaving the town completely. It was odd how an idea she had once considered her only course of action now filled her with dread. She did not know her family well enough to know if they would follow her and Morgan out into the uncertain world beyond the town's walls. If they left she might have to leave all of them behind. She would never get to know her sister or figure out what the memory she had of Daryl meant. Beth braced herself for Morgan to tell her his plans for them leaving so she nearly slid out of her seat in surprise as he spoke.

"People can move in here or we can move in with someone else."

XxX

The soft knock on his door drew his attention away from the crossbow bolt he was shaping. Daryl looked towards the open door curiously before nodding for Rick to come further into the room. The other man seemed a bit hesitant to approach him and Daryl knew it had to be because of whatever reason he had come in here and nothing to do with the weapon in his hands.

Well, probably nothing.

"Morgan came by earlier." Rick stated slowly, running his hand over his beard wearily as Daryl carefully sat his knife and the wooden arrow he was shaping down on the floor at his feet.

Maybe this would be easier for both of them if he wasn't armed. Daryl knew all to well that if Morgan had come to see Rick and he was being told about it then it was about Beth as well. He did not know what to prepare himself to hear, maybe Beth had told Morgan about her flashes of memory as well and he had turned around and told Rick.

The second the thought entered his head Daryl found himself mentally shaking his head. He may not know the man as well as Rick and Beth did but he knew enough to know that he would not betray Beth's trust like that, no matter how difficult it was to keep quiet about it. And Daryl knew all to well how difficult it was.

He was still trying to figure out what they could have talked about when Rick stated with a sigh, "Douglas is trying to downsize the amount of space people are taking up. He wants to free up some houses."

Daryl nodded quickly. He knew this already, he'd been there when Douglas decided to do it after all. What that had to do with-

_Shit._

He realized before Rick even opened his mouth what he was going to say.

"He told Morgan him and Beth need to let the next group to arrive live with them." Rick said slowly, shaking his head at the idea. He knew how uneasy Beth was around most people but it seemed that Monroe either did not see or did not care about how difficult a situation he had just placed all of them in.

Daryl's hands clenched on his knees and he fought down the urge to rush to Monroe's house and demand he change the order. "Beth won't agree to that." he finally grunted, looking up at Rick and waiting for him to confirm what they both already knew.

He went cold suddenly as he realized what that meant. If Beth did not agree to live by the rules here she would be forced to leave the community. She might even be gone already.

He was already on his feet when Rick's hands suddenly shot out and grabbed him by the arms. It was only the lack of panic in his brother in all but blood's eyes that stopped him from shoving him away and running out the door.

Rick's voice was calculatedly clam as he reassured him. "That's why Morgan came to me."

XxX

Beth was still trying to wrap her mind around his words when Morgan continued, his voice calm and unhurried as if his soothing tone would be enough to calm her still racing heart.

"I already spoke with Rick, just in case you chose that option. He said we could move into any of the houses their group is in."

Beth managed to pull herself from her confusion and panic long enough to whisper, "Houses?" she had known of course that not all of them lived in the house she had woken up in that morning but she had not spared much thought to where everyone else resided.

Morgan nodded, some of the tension leaving his shoulders as he realized that at least a small part of Beth was able to focus on what he was saying.

"The group lives in three separate houses. Four actually since the boy Noah lives with his mother and her house mates."

"Noah's mother is alive?" Beth asked in surprise. She had not met the woman yet and having both Noah and Daryl confirm that she met him at the hospital she had assumed that he had fallen in with her family because he had lost his. She felt a surprisingly strong surge of happiness course through her at the thought that Noah still had blood family left alive too.

Morgan nodded as he ran a hand across his nearly shaved head before continuing. "Noah said she wanted to come to the dinner last week and meet you but she thought you would have enough to deal with that night."

Beth felt a pang of gratitude for the woman as she motioned for Morgan to continue about the housing dilemma they were facing. The longer he talked the easier it became for Beth to overcome her panic.

"You've been to Rick's house of course. He lives there with his kids, Daryl and Michonne. At the end of the street Carol, Eugene, Tyresse, Sasha, and the preacher all live. On the next street over your sister and her husband, Tara, Rosita and Abraham share a place. All the houses are pretty full but Rick said everyone would gladly make room for you if you chose to move in with any of them."

Beth was so busy trying to make sense of the living arrangements that the meaning of Morgan's last sentence was almost lost on her. Her brow furrowed as she looked across the table at him in confusion.

"Just me? You don't want to come with me?" Her voice broke on the last word and Beth tried to hide the hurt she felt at his abandonment.

Morgan shrugged before looking at her. "Houses all seem pretty full. Don't want to impose on any of you."

"You won't be." Beth shook her head quickly, knowing the moment she spoke that she had made her decision. Neither choice appealed very much to her but when it came to living with strangers she would choose the ones she had once trusted and loved over people she had truly never met before. But the idea of facing that alone terrified her.

She leaned across the table to grip Morgan's large calloused hand in her own. "I want you to come with me." Beth bit her lip and forced herself to maintain eye contact with Morgan despite the twinge of embarrassment she felt as she mumbled. "You're sort of my best friend."

The title felt strange coming out of her mouth but Beth knew that it somehow fits. The man before her was the first person she had ever trusted in this version of her life and she knew that she would not have made it to this community without him. Even if she had she would not have been able to be brave enough to face her family without him standing by her side.

Morgan squeezed her hand once before pulling away. While he did not return her words Beth could see the emotion he was either unable or unwilling to hide as he looked at her. It took her a moment to place the look but after a moment she recognized it as the look she had seen Michonne giving Carl and Tyresse giving Judith. It was the look you gave someone you loved like your own child.

Beth knew then without Morgan even opening his mouth that he would be joining her in whichever house she chose.

XxX

He was so busy trying to wrap him mind around what Rick had just told him that he nearly missed the soft knock on the door. At the sound of it he pushed to his feet, remembering at the last second to step around the half formed arrows scattered on the floor.

Daryl was still in the hallway when Michonne pulled the door open but he was just able to see Morgan's face from where he stood. Heart in his throat Daryl closed the gap between him and the door, the breath he hadn't noticed he was holding slipping out past his lips as Beth followed after Morgan into the house. As she did so Daryl's eyes flickered immediately to the backpacks slung over both of their shoulders. The sight of them filled him with a surge of dread and hope. Dread that they were simply stopping to say goodbye before leaving the town altogether but hope that they were there for something else entirely.

"Can we stay here?" Beth's voice seemed impossibly loud in the sudden stillness of the room. "Your house seemed like it was the emptiest and..." she trailed off but Daryl thought he knew what she was unable to say. She didn't want to have to live with people she didn't know. He forcibly shook off the part of his brain that sounded remarkably like his brother as it whispered that was still what she was doing.

"Of course you can." Michonne said quietly, gifting Beth with one of her rare smiles. Daryl could see some of the tension leave Beth's shoulders at that although he did not know if it was Michonne's smile or her words that did it. She mumbled a thanks as the door was shut behind them.

Beth looked at the couch and Daryl remembered placing her on it just that morning. He had not suspected when he did that that she would keep sleeping on it. The thought caused him to stir immediately as he began to wrap his mind around the situation they were now in. Beth shouldn't have to sleep on the couch and she wouldn't if he had any say in it.

"Beth can have my room." his voice was quiet but with no one talking it seemed loud. Beth immediately began shaking her head, a protest already on her lips when Carl spoke.

"It makes more sense if she takes mine. I can stay with Dad."

Rick nodded, clapping his son on the shoulder in gratitude. They had all shared worse conditions so fitting six people and a baby into a four bedroom house was not going to cause any problems.

"I'll take the couch." Morgan offered shaking his head before Rick could even move to offer him something else. "I've slept on worse trust me. Beth take the bedroom."

Daryl couldn't help wondering if it was a request or an order. She looked a bit guilty as she nodded acceptance before turning to thank Carl, who grinned at her widely before running off to clear his stuff from the room.

The five of them stood awkwardly in the doorway for a moment before Rick headed further into the room to sit on the couch that Judith sat on the floor next to. She hit two plastic cups together with a giggle completely unaware of the drastic change that had just occurred.

After a moment everyone drifted after Rick into the room, seemingly at a loss for what else to do. Michonne sat next to Rick on the couch and Daryl couldn't help but wonder if Carl wouldn't be getting a room to himself soon enough as he noticed the lack of space between them. Morgan settled in the chair across the room and after a moments pause Beth sat down on the floor across from Judith reaching forward wearily to grab one of the cups on the floor.

Daryl couldn't help but smile at the sight of them, Judy looking at Beth with a grin as she realized she had a new playmate. He leaned against the wall and watched as Beth tried to show the little girl how to stack the cups into a pyramid but the girl only seemed interested in knocking them down.

"Have you heard when the construction crew is scheduled to move the fence?" Rick asked, looking across the room at Morgan. Daryl wasn't sure if the conversation was brought up out of actual curiosity or a desire to end the nervous silence that filled the room.

Morgan shrugged. "Next couple of days." Daryl remembered then that he worked construction on the same crew as Abraham. "We only have to move part of one wall so it shouldn't take more than a day."

"Why are you moving it anyway? Wouldn't it make more sense to build the whole wall and then take the piece in the way down?" Rick asked curiously, rubbing his hand across his beard as he thought over how he would handle the situation. Not for the first time Daryl couldn't help but wonder how Rick was actually handling not being the leader. Truth be told he would rather have Rick Grimes be in charge of this community than the man who ran it now.

Hell Daryl would rather have a lot of people running this place instead of Monroe.

Morgan shook his head, smiling when Judith let out a high pitched giggle as she knocked another cup pyramid down with her tiny fist. "We need the materials. The walls need to be thick to do any good and the run teams haven't found anything we can use. Gotta use what we already got."

Rick looked like he was about to comment but Michonne cut him off. "We haven't had much chance to look. Been to busy trying to find medicine and food." she said it calmly but Daryl knew her well enough to hear the small twinge of tension in her voice. She did not like the idea of her job being questioned.

Morgan opened his mouth, whether to apologize or argue Daryl didn't know because Rick leaned closer to Michonne then and began to try to convince her to tell them the types of food that she had brought in on the latest run.

He started to pay very little attention to their conversation as he watched Beth build a higher tower for Judith to knock down as she giggled. As he watched them, Daryl began to realize for the first time what her and Morgan moving into the house meant.

He would be able to see Beth on more than just their daily walks, she would be on the other side of the wall from him. The next time she remembered something she would not have to sprint across town in the dark to question him about it.

Daryl could see her whenever he wanted.

As if she could hear his thoughts Beth suddenly looked up across the room at him with a smile. He was just contemplating joining her and Judith on the floor when Carl skidded into the room with a grin.

"Come on Beth! I'll show you your room."

XxX

She couldn't help feeling surprised by the lack of anger in the boy as Carl led her down the hallway to the room that she was now taking as her own. She felt a surge of guilt that she had kicked him out of his space but if he minded she could not tell past the smile that covered his face.

"The bed is kinda lumpy but you get used to it." he said joyfully before he walked across to the open window and began to show her the small block of wood he had lodged between the frame and the sill to keep the broken hinges from shutting it. Beth listened with half an ear as she looked around the light blue room as Daryl joined them, watching them quietly as he leaned on the wall next to the door. The soft voices of the others could be heard just under Carl's excited voice as they talked in another part of the house.

Beth joined Daryl against the wall as she watched Carl explain all the little inconsistencies of the room with a smile. He was half turned away from her as he explained the way the closet doorknob had to be turned just so or it would creak when it opened when an image hit her with such force her knees nearly buckled,

_She walked into a dark room, forcing herself not to cringe away from the barred door of the cell as she looked at the dirty bunkbeds set against the wall. Carl was at her heels, a head shorter than the boy she now knew and both of them were covered in a thick layer of dirt and grim._

_She let the heavy bags slip from her hands and turned to sit on the mattress of the lower bunk with only the slightest hint of disgust. "Pretty gross."_

_"Yeah remember the storage units?" he asked with a faint laugh._

Beth stumbled under the weight of the memory, for she knew without a sliver of doubt that was what it was. She had never seen anything so in depth before and if it weren't for the hand suddenly holding her up she thought that the impact of it would have knocked her off her feet. As it was she found it hard to breath as she caught her footing underneath her and mumbled that she had stumbled on the rug in an attempt to ease the concern in her companions' faces.

While Carl looked satisfied, if a little worried, by her explanation Beth could tell that Daryl was not at all convinced. Seemingly done with giving her a tour of the room that was now hers Carl headed back out into the rest of the house, calling over his shoulder for Beth to follow him. She managed to catch her breath long enough to tell him she'd be there in a minute before her eyes drifted to those of the man still clutching her arm.

XxX

The silence between them seemed to stretch on endlessly and Daryl was sure Beth could hear the pounding of his heart through it. He knew she had not stumbled, she had been standing still when suddenly she was almost falling to the floor beside him. He had his own theories for what had happened but he fought to keep his hopes in check until she confirmed it herself.

Beth bit her lip as she stared at him before she slowly pulled her arm out of his grip and headed to the door of the bedroom. Daryl opened his mouth to protest, to ask her what had happened and if she had gotten another memory like he suspected, but he closed his mouth with a snap when instead of walking out the door Beth cast a quick glance down the hallway before shutting it softly.

His mouth suddenly went dry for no reason that he could decipher.

Daryl knew it was not because they were alone. He had been alone with Beth hundreds upon hundreds of times. For months she had been the only company he had. The only other person he had spent so much time with alone in his life was his brother. Daryl had even spent time with Beth alone since she lost her memory yet somehow this felt different.

He decided it wasn't the fact that they were alone in a bedroom together but the fact that Beth had shut the door on everyone else. He knew already, of course, that Beth sought him out more than anyone. Even if he hadn't been aware of that before she had proven it last night with her confession. Seeing her shut the door on everyone else in the house just confirmed it more.

"I remembered something." Beth whispered, her voice free of doubt as she looked up at him with wide eyes.

Daryl's breath escaped him at the words, that was what he had thought happened but hearing her confirm it still made his chest tighten. He wanted more than anything to ask her what she saw but he knew better than to push her. He found himself hoping for a wild moment that she had remembered something about him but he quickly shook the thought off. He was just happy that Beth was remembering anything, whether he was in it or not.

"Were we ever at a prison?"

Daryl had been so lost in his own thoughts as he tried to guess what Beth could have remembered that at first all he could do was blink in surprise at her question. He had not been expecting that and the selfish part of his brain was the first thing to react as he realized that if Beth remembered something at the prison that meant she might have remembered something about him.

Before he could consider that thought for very long Daryl found himself nodding, hoping Beth would tell him what she remembered soon before his hopes got to high for him to pull back down.

She nodded once, drawing in a slow breath as she accepted this information. Surprisingly she did not ask him how they had come to be in a prison but Daryl knew that those questions would come soon enough. Right now she seemed to be trying to accept whatever it was that she had just remembered.

His resolve finally broke and he opened his mouth to ask her what memory had just returned to her when her gaze drifted to the bed behind him and she spoke softly.

"I was with Carl in a prison cell. He said something about storage sheds." Beth shook her head and Daryl felt his spirits drop a little that once again Beth had not remembered him.

Before he could entertain that thought very long the memory she had gotten hit him. He wasn't there for it but the fact that she had remembered something about Carl while with Carl gave him hope that the more time they spent together the higher chances she had of remembering something about him. About all of them.

Maybe her moving in here was the best thing that could have happened for her memory.

XxX

Finally she found herself alone, the others having drifted off to their own spaces as the night wore on. Daryl was the last one to leave her, even after they went out to join Morgan on the tour Carl was giving him he had stood by her side until finally she sought out the solitude that was her unfamiliar room.

Beth fingered the fraying edge of the quilt covering the bed and found herself wondering briefly what had happened to the person who had made it. She shook the thought off quickly, she already had enough unanswerable questions about her own life she did not need anymore. She curled up into a ball at the floor of the bed and let the shaft of moonlight steaming through the open window provide her with enough light to examine her new room in silence.

All of her possessions fit into the frayed backpack that sat on top of the wooden dresser in the corner but Beth did not move a muscle to go unpack it. Her mind was to busy trying to process the events that had led her here, to this room and this house.

Part of her was terrified that she had made the wrong choice, that she should have just taken her chances with whoever might have ended up moving in with her and Morgan. But another larger part of her was glad that she had chosen to move into this house. She been there less than three hours and already the most vivid memory she had received had come back to her. Perhaps being in such close quarters with these people would help aid in the return of her past. In any case it provided her with more opportunities to ask questions.

Despite all of the good things that moving in with her family provided Beth could not help but worry that it might end up being to much for her damaged mind to handle. Beth stared through the darkness at the wall across from her bed and hoped that she had not just made a terrible mistake.

XxX

Even though the electricity was working that night Daryl chose to keep his light off and instead use a few candles to keep the darkness at bay.

Slowly he eased open the drawer of the little table that sat beside his bed. He had not opened it since he had angrily slammed it shut in the first week after they had arrived in the safe zone. Back when he had hidden the contents away in the hope that if he did not have to see them he would forget that they were there.

Yet there it lay, looking as unchanged as the day Carol had handed it to him after she had found it while cleaning out the black bag that had been given to them at the hospital. At the time he had been so consumed in his grief that he had never even bothered to check the contents of the bag, in fact other than the object he now clutched in his hand he had no idea what else had been inside of it.

The bone handle was cold to the touch having spent so long locked away in darkness. There was a rusted smudge of dried blood at the end of the blade and Daryl eased the knife out of its leather sheath to wipe it clean on the end of his shirt.

Once Carol realized who it must have belonged to she immediately passed it over to Daryl without a word. She had been with him during his frantic hunt for Beth. She had seen him fall to his knees to cradle what he had thought had been Beth's corpse. Carol knew that the knife would have meant nothing to anyone else but Daryl had clung to it like it was Beth herself.

He never used it, never even took it out of the sheath until now. He drifted into a habit of holding the bone handle, because at the time he had thought it was the closest he would ever get to holding Beth again. When he did start seeing his visions of her he often tried to convince himself to give the knife to her.

He never managed to get the words out, partially because he knew that no matter how much he wanted it to be, the Beth he was seeing wasn't actually real. The knife was also the only real thing he had left to hold onto of Beth. When they got to the safe zone and he stopped seeing Beth he promised himself that he would give her the knife if he could see her for even just a few minutes more.

But no matter how many hours he spent alone in the woods she never returned to him and the knife began to feel like a weight to heavy for him to carry. One night after spending five hours hunting in the rain hoping for just one brief glimpse of her ponytail he had torn it angrily from his belt and shoved it inside the drawer. He had had not had the strength to open it since then.

A small part of him must have been hoping that once he realized Beth was alive she would eventually ask for her knife back. But Daryl knew now that wasn't likely to happen, even with the memories she was getting back. Standing, he cast a quick glance at the wall that was all that was separating them as he realized that he could now keep his promise.

XxX

The knock on her door was so quiet that Beth did not stir at the first one. When the second knock came, only slightly louder than its predecessor, she lifted her head from her arms and slowly edged her way off the bed. The stiffness of her muscles and the darkness of the room made her wonder how long she had been sitting huddled at the edge of the lumpy mattress.

Taking a deep breath she opened the door slowly, finding she was not at all surprised to see Daryl standing in the doorway looking unsure and awkward as he stared down at her.

For a moment neither of them spoke, Daryl's eyes drifting behind her to take in the dark room yet still made bed. He did not question if he had woken her, despite the late hour. Just as he seemed to know she had not been sleeping, merely sitting in the dark, she somehow knew that he could tell.

"Came to give you this." he finally grunted before thrusting his hand forward as if he needed to do it quickly before he lost his nerve.

Beth blinked in surprise before looking down at the object in his outstretched hand. She had not really been expecting anything in particular and perhaps that was why she was not surprised to find the object was a small knife.

She reached forward gingerly and took it from his palm. She meant to ask why he was gifting her the knife but instead the words that slipped out of her lips were, "I can't take this."

And Beth knew as soon as she said it that she couldn't. The knife was to nice. The bone handle was warm to her touch from Daryl's own hands and despite how much she wanted to strap it to her hip to replace the slightly rusted knife that she'd been using since she left the hospital she knew that she would feel to guilty if she took Daryl's weapon. She already felt bad enough for kicking Carl out of his room she did not want to add anything to that.

"It was yours." Daryl shrugged almost sheepishly but Beth could still hear the pain in his voice as she failed to recognize yet another thing from her past. She wanted to ask him why he had waited until now to give it back to her but she was more curious about how he had come into possession of it after what they had thought was her death.

For the first time Beth let herself truly begin to wonder how the man standing in her doorway was connected to her. They were not related she knew that much. Even without knowing that Maggie was her only blood relative alive she would never have considered that Daryl was connected to her in that way. The pull she felt to him was something else entirely than the one she was beginning to feel with her sister. No, what she felt with Daryl was unique to only him and something she could not quite explain, even to herself.

She knew they had known each other for a few years, that much was clear to her although she did not know the context of their relationship. Were they friends or-

A small gasp escaped past her lips unbidden as she looked up at Daryl. His brow furrowed at the shock that was likely painted across her face. Beth struggled to wipe her features blank even as her mind and heart began to race at the realization she had just stumbled upon.

It explained everything: why she always felt so comfortable around him even in the beginning, why his touch did not panic her the way others sometimes did, why he had been the one to have her knife in his possession even after they had believed she was dead. Why she had remembered his face bathed in candlelight.

Her mind came up with only one explanation and Beth found the idea of it did not cause her to panic. Instead a strange surge of excitement ran through her as she stared up at the man before her and realized the truth.

Daryl and her had been a couple.

XxX

Beth was staring at him with the strangest look upon her face. It was not the look that had crossed her features when she had remembered Carl but still something seemed off as she looked up at him with wide eyes.

"Are you okay?" Daryl asked softly as he tried to decipher whether it was fear or shock in her eyes. Beth blinked once in surprise before nodding quickly, a smile pulling up her lips.

"Yeah." she looked down at the knife in her hands and he felt a flash of clarity. She must have remembered something about the knife, or maybe killing a walker with another knife. But if she had she did not say anything as they continued to stand in the doorway.

Daryl couldn't help but remember another time he had stood in the doorway to her room, even if her room at that time had been a cell. But this time he had come to bring her a knife not the news of her boyfriend's death and this time Beth did not wrap her arms around him no matter how much he wanted her to.


	12. Chapter 12

Breakfast was a subdued affair as everyone tried to adjust to the newness of their situation. Daryl sat across the table from Beth who kept shooting him looks when she thought he wasn't looking. He wasn't sure why exactly she kept staring at him but his brain was so hazy from lack of sleep that he couldn't imagine any other reason except for how strange this move had to be for her.

He had gotten very little sleep the night before having spent the majority of it staring at the wall that separated their bedrooms. Having her in such close proximity again was making his mind dredge up memories of their time alone in the woods together. He found himself thinking of things he had not thought of in a long time even though he had been sure that he had replayed every moment of their time together countless times in the weeks after her 'death'.

Having her so close again made him think about how there had once been a time when the only sleep he got was at her side even though in the beginning when they first fled the prison he found he could not sleep beside her. It had very little to do with his trust of Beth's capabilities to keep watch, even then when they were little more than strangers who knew very intimate details of the others lives he knew that Beth would be able to keep him safe. He just could not close his eyes without seeing the faces of all the people they had lost painted across the back of his lids. He knew Beth was faring just the same. They had ended up tracking through the first night, neither one of them willing to sit down and close their eyes just yet, but by the time dusk fell on the second evening they were moving around like walkers themselves. Daryl made Beth sleep first, thinking that it would help her if she got some rest. Instead she had laid stiff by his side while he pretended not to notice her sniffing as she cried for the father she had just seen butchered before her. For the first few weeks they were on their own neither of them slept very well but as time wore on Daryl found he could only sleep if he knew she was close by. It made the time between her absence and the hospital even more rough and the time after that all the more unbearable.

Daryl had thought that having only a wall between them now might help him sleep better at night but instead memory after memory assaulted him all night. He remembered even the smallest things that he never even spared a second thought for since they happened, not even after the events at the hospital. As he lay there in the dark bemoaning the few feet of distance between them he suddenly remembered the way she smiled at him as she passed him some of the gum she had scrounged up in the country club. He kept seeing the way she grinned at him ever so slightly as she passed him a jar full of moonshine on repeat long after the house around him had gone quiet.

XxX

Beth knew now that she had to tell Daryl about the memory she had of him. She simply could not avoid it forever, Daryl needed to know. And if they had truly been romantically involved like she believed then he deserved to know.

However, knowing this and acting on it were two different things. Beth wanted to talk to him about it, she had spent her whole day at work planning out different ways that she could approach him with the subject yet when he joined her on their walk home (Beth could barely wrap her head around the fact that they walked to the same house now) she had stayed quiet.

She wanted to tell him she had remembered something about him, truly she did, she was just afraid of how it would change their relationship. Even if they had once been a couple she was not ready for that, at least not yet. She could not lie to herself and say that the idea of being with him did not interest her. Beth had never really thought about it until the night prior but Daryl was an attractive man. But more importantly he was kind to her and he trusted her, even enough to let her shoot his crossbow. (Beth may not have known much about the man but even she could tell that that was a big deal). The knowledge that they had once been a couple did not send her into spiraling fits of fear, instead it made her incredibly curious. They did not seem like a conventional couple and she wanted to know everything about them. How did they go from two strangers on a farm to being in a relationship so strong that even without her memories Beth knew that she could trust Daryl wholeheartedly?

Beth knew that the only way she was going to get the answers to these questions was if she talked to Daryl about it. But she was not yet ready to admit that she knew they were together, if she told him that he might expect more from her although Beth highly doubted it. Daryl would never ask her for more than she was willing to give and she knew that.

So while she was not yet ready to acknowledge their past relationship Daryl at least deserved to know she had remembered something about him. Beth spent the entirety of the evening trying to gather her nerve to tell him but every time she headed for her door a crippling sense of doubt would overwhelm her. As much as she wanted to tell him she could not quiet the voice inside her head that kept telling her he would only demand more of her. That if he knew she had one memory of him soon he would except her to have all of them. And if she could not meet that demand, well Beth supposed it wouldn't matter then what type of relationship they had had. He probably wouldn't be around much longer after that.

By the time she was finally able to quiet her doubts night had long since fallen. But in the end the thing that got her going out her door was not trust in Daryl but anger at her own fear.

XxX

He was almost asleep when a soft tapping on his door roused him. Stifling a groan into the pillow Daryl shoved the blanket off of him, stumbling over it as it tangled around his legs on the way to the floor. Cursing, he finally managed to untangle himself and yanked open the door with a glare.

His anger immediately melted away as he took in the sight of Beth looking up at him anxiously.

"Sorry. Did I wake you?" there was a twinge of guilt in her voice but behind it Daryl could hear the nerves as she shifted from foot to foot.

Daryl shook his head no even as Beth looked behind him and saw the tangle of his blankets on the floor.

"What's wrong?" he asked quietly, drawing her gaze back to him.

Beth ran her hands up and down her arms as if she was cold before fixing him with a heavy stare. "Can I talk to you?"

His brow furrowed in confusion but Daryl still took a step back, letting Beth step into the room. She walked past him cautiously before perching on the edge of his bed. Daryl swallowed hard and took a step towards her but Beth shook her head.

"Can you shut the door?" she asked nervously, her hands twisting together in her lap.

Turning away from her Daryl shut the door softly, grateful for the moonlight that kept the room from being in total darkness. Cautiously he sat down beside her on the bed, making sure to keep a foot of distance between them as he was still uncertain of how comfortable she was with his proximity.

The silence stretched on for a long moment. Daryl was unsure of what to say or do in this situation. His mind was still trying to fully wake up and he could not figure out what she was doing here. He had just decided she must have remembered something else and wanted to talk to him about it when Beth began speaking, her soft voice laced with guilt as she whispered.

"I lied to you."

Daryl looked over at her quickly although Beth would not meet his eyes, choosing instead to stare down at the floor. His hands clenched the sheets as he tried to figure out what she could have possibly lied to him about.

Before he could think of anything Beth spoke again, her words coming out in a rush. "I did remember something else. You asked me the other night and I lied but the truth is." Beth dropped her head into her hands as she drew in a long breath.

Daryl's mind began to race as he watched her. She had told him several memories that night so why would she keep one a secret? Unless, of course, it was about him. He shook his head quickly not wanting to get his hopes up but the idea lodged itself firmly into his brain even though that was the very reason Beth was not telling anyone else about the memories. He tried to keep his hopes off of his face, certain that if Beth knew what he was thinking she would soon not want to confide in even him about the memories.

Beth did not seem to be able to go on so carefully Daryl reached over and placed his hand on her upper back. She stiffened at his touch but did not pull away as she lifted her head from her hands to look over at him.

"You can tell me Beth." Daryl whispered, his throat suddenly tight as he whispered. "You can tell me anything."

She simply stared at him for so long that Daryl began to worry that she had changed her mind, that she was not going to tell him what she had come in here to say. He closed his eyes in disappointment just when she began to speak, her voice soft as she admitted. "I remembered you."

His eyes popped open in surprise and he saw Beth staring back at him with equal disbelief at her statement. His heart began to pound faster as her words began to sink in and Beth looked away from him then, her hands playing with the ends of her hair as she spoke quickly.

"It happened at the group dinner and it was really just a second but..." She trailed into silence again while Daryl tried to guess what memory she could have gotten of him. She had waited so long to tell him, was it because she was afraid of how he would act upon hearing of it? Or did she remember something that made her scared of him? Was the only memory she had of him the time they had screamed themselves hoarse in each others faces?

Daryl knew how her memories were returning, most of them were very brief flashes of images and with the exception of what she had remembered about Carl yesterday she often did not remember any conversations. If she had remembered him yelling at her without the words to go with it, well it would make sense for her not to want to talk about it with him. She might have misinterpreted the moment as them simply fighting instead of knowing that that moment was when Beth had dragged him screaming out of the mess of pain and guilt he had fallen into after the prison.

Finally he could no longer handle the suspense. That might not have even been the memory she had gotten so he could be worrying himself sick over nothing. He just had to ask, "What did you remember?"

Beth shook her head before looking back at him nervously. "I'm not sure. It was just a second."

She seemed to be trying to downplay the moment as if she was afraid she was letting Daryl down by it not being a big intense memory. She didn't seem to understand that Daryl was ecstatic she had remembered anything about him, no matter how small.

"It was dark but there were a lot of candles. You were holding a jar with a spoon and." Beth trailed into silence as Daryl began to tear through his own memory for the image she had seen. He had a feeling he knew the memory she was speaking of but that memory was so heavy for him that he could not let himself hope that it was the one thing she knew of him from before she had shown up on his doorstep.

"You were looking at me like..." Beth couldn't seem to find the words and Daryl found himself reaching forward to grab her hand where it still played with the ends of her hair, causing her gaze to drift back to him.

"Like what?" he whispered intensely, his heart beating a bruise against his rib cage at the mere knowledge she had remembered anything about him at all. But he had to be sure it was the moment he thought. The moment he had not let himself relive since the first few days after her death.

Beth bit her lip as they stared at each other, her voice barely above breath as she admitted, "Well...like that."

Daryl knew for certain then that it was the same memory he thought it was and like her that night all words failed him but one. "Oh."

XxX

Daryl handled hearing about the memory far better than she had expected. Beth had expected him to ask her more questions about it or to see if she had remembered anything else but he had done neither. He seemed to have understood the flash she had seen even though Beth herself still didn't. As much as she had wanted to press him for more information about what she had seen she didn't. She would have time for that later but at that moment Daryl had needed time to accept that she had remembered something about him.

They had spent a large part of the night simply sitting next to each other in the darkness of his room as they both tried to understand how this had changed their relationship. Not only was Daryl the only one who knew she was getting any memories back but now he knew that she had remembered him too. Since he had reacted as if the memory was real Beth knew for certain now that she truly was seeing memories and not just images her mind had made up.

As they walked to work the next morning with Morgan Beth tried to focus on what he was saying about moving the fences that morning but her mind kept replaying her few memories instead. The longer she stayed here the more flashes of memories returned to her. Whatever the bullet had damaged in its path through her skull seemed to be repairing itself with time. Beth finally allowed herself a small amount of hope that one day she would remember everything.

XxX

The memory Beth did not fully have kept replaying through his mind on repeat throughout the night and long into the morning even after he took his post on guard. That moment was one of the most painful ones for him to remember during her absence and it had grown even worse after he had thought she had died.

What Beth did not realize was how important that moment was for him, for both of them. That was the moment she had started to realize what he himself had just accepted the night before. That was the moment when Beth realized that she had been what changed his mind about believing there was good people in the world. Because of course there were good people out there if Beth Greene was still alive. That was why the memory became physically painful in the weeks after she had 'died'. It just meant that Beth had changed his mind for nothing. It didn't matter if there were good people out there because they were only going to die.

Just like everyone else.

But now that he could look back on the memory without the haze of pain Daryl remembered it for other things. It was the last good moment he had of her for so long. It had been the moment where he had very nearly told her the feelings he was beginning to realize he had for her.

It had been in the coffin that Daryl had realized them. As he lay there and watched her fingers glide over the piano while her soft melodic voice filled the room Daryl finally allowed himself to consider that the way Beth made him feel was not the way a friend made you feel. What he felt for Beth Greene was so much stronger than anything he had ever felt in life. He wasn't willing to put a word to it at the time but he knew he could no longer lie to himself and claim it to be friendship. And while he was not a superstitious man Daryl later thought that realizing that in a coffin had doomed their relationship from the start.

XxX

While she had decided not to ask Daryl about their relationship just yet Beth had made no such promises to herself about asking anyone else. That was how she found herself washing cloth bandages next to Carol and struggling to find the right way to phrase her questions without letting on to the fact that she already knew about her and Daryl being a couple.

Carol seemed to know that Beth had something on her mind because she did not say anything as she wrung red tinted water from the cloth. They had to clear the material of the worst of the mess before they boiled them in hot water. Beth was sure it wasn't the most advanced system but it was effective.

"I heard you moved in with the Grimes." Carol finally broke the silence when it became clear that Beth was not going to be speaking anytime soon.

Beth nodded quickly, wondering quietly how fast that news had spread. She did not fail to notice that both Michonne and Daryl were included under the Grimes name but she was not surprised. She was beginning to suspect there was more to Michonne and Rick's relationship than she was seeing and she had already seen how close Daryl and Rick were. In a weird way they were both Grimes.

"Everyone doing okay with that?" Carol asked softly, turning away from Beth to give her a moment to compose her features at the question.

Beth smiled in appreciation for not being singled out in the other woman's question. She knew too that it was more than just Carol being polite, she truly did care and want to know how the others were fairing.

"It's different." Beth admitted with a shrug. "But I think we'll be o-"

She cut herself off mid word as her and Carol both turned as one to the open window where the unmistakable sound of screaming had begun to drift through.

XxX

All sound seemed to tunnel into one never ending scream of terror. Daryl immediately turned towards the sound, his finger hovering over the trigger of his bow, but even from his high vantage point he could not see the source. Judging from the direction they could only be coming from one place; the section of the wall they were moving.

Silently Daryl began to curse Monroe for not waiting as well as cursing everyone on the team who did not bother to question his judgment. His skin itched with his urge to jump over the wall and go help them but he did not move out of fear that if he left his post walkers would converge on this section as well. He was still contemplating going to help the others anyway, abandoned post be damned, when he heard someone yelling his name.

Daryl turned just long enough to see Paula wave him forward, barely even hearing her cries telling him to go help and that she would manage his section. Swinging his bow onto his back he sat on the edge of the platform before making the six foot jump to the ground below.

He bit the inside of his mouth when he landed and the metallic taste of blood filled his mouth as a shock wave ran through his ankles and knees. Daryl stumbled once before he got his footing back underneath him and sprinted towards the sound of the fighting.

XxX

It was clear from everyone's reactions that they had been in a situation like this before. Rather than running outside to go help whoever was screaming the aides immediately began pulling bandages out of cupboards and placing various medical equipment onto counters and trays.

Beth lingered in the doorway of the main room, unsure of what to do as everyone bustled in a hurry around her. She cast a glance at the door and was just debating running out to offer her assistance out there when Carol was back at her side and grabbing her upper arm tightly.

"Beth." The older woman's eyes were as full of pain and fear as Beth knew her own eyes had to be. "We'll be more useful in here."

Shaking her head Beth took a step towards the door. She could no longer hear any screaming and she did not know whether that was a good thing or a terrible omen of what was still to come. "We have to help them." she whispered, shaking Carol's hand off her arm.

Carol gripped her by the shoulders then, forcing Beth to look back at her as she fixed her intense gaze on her. "We will. In here."

She did not let go until Beth nodded reluctantly in agreement, rushing into the room to help the others set up supplies. Mere minutes later the door opened with a bang and the groaning of a man in pain filled the building.

Speeding into the hallway after Denise Beth watched in open mouthed horror as Tara stumbled inside, her arm wrapped tight around a man Beth had never seen before.

"He's been bit!" Tara cried above another groan.

The word sent everyone into motion, but not the rushed frenzy Beth had been expecting. Denise barked for James to go fetch the other two doctors before motioning for Tara to bring the man into one of the bedrooms. Beth watched with eyes wide in horror as they turned, her eyes glued to the gaping bloody hole where a part of the man's tricep was now missing.

She was in such a shock that she barely noticed the other people beginning to rush into the clinic although she did notice when Tyreese came in pressing a bloody cloth to his face. Beth forced herself to head in his direction despite the growing terror she was beginning to feel.

As she reached him Beth forced her terror and panic down, she needed to be calm if she wanted to help anyone. She quickly pulled one of the wheeled tray tables to her side as she motioned for Tyreese to sit in the chair behind him. Adjusting his hold on the cloth he pressed to his face Beth forced herself to quietly ask the question she was dreading the answer to.

"Is it a walker scratch?"

"No. No." Tyreese let out a moan of pain as Beth reached forward to apply more pressure on the wound. "I was putting up a sheet of metal on the wall when the walkers came. Dropped it to grab my weapon. It caught me on the way down."

Beth nodded, a surprisingly strong sense of relief washing through her at his words. A cut she could heal, but a walker's scratch on his face would have been the end. The bleeding seemed to be slowing but it had not yet reduced enough for her to stitch it.

"There still a lot of walkers out there?" she asked quietly as she pulled the cloth away from his face to clean his wound. She gave him a small smile in sympathy as he winced.

"Not to many." Tyreese flinched as she dabbed the top of his cut with a cotton ball drenched in rubbing alcohol "They had it under control. Told the injured to get inside before the smell of blood drew more."

"Smart." Beth whispered, leaning closer to get a better view of the cut. Despite the blood it did not appear very deep. It had missed his eye by less than an inch but Beth did not bother to tell Tyreese that he was lucky. Everyone still alive was lucky.

"Daryl's idea." Tyreese winced again but Beth barely noticed as she looked at him with wide eyes. She had not realized Daryl was a part of the fighting but upon hearing it she found that she was not incredibly surprised. Her heart clenched in fear for him but she forced herself to shove it away. She had to focus and help the people here. Still she opened her mouth to ask if Daryl was okay but Denise calling her name from across the crowded room stopped her.

"Beth! I need you!"

Standing quickly Beth looked around for another aide but before she was barely on her feet Carol was there, taking the bottle of rubbing alcohol from her hands. Beth made her way as quickly as she could to the room where the bitten man now lay groaning on the bed. Tara was gone but in her place was one of the other doctors, Peter, who barely spared Beth a glance as he pulled on a pair of rubber gloves.

Beth looked at Denise questioningly before her eyes landed on the saw in the woman's hands.

"We need you to help keep him down."

XxX

Sending the injured back inside the walls was a tough call but as Daryl reached for an arrow only for his hand to come back empty he knew it was the right one. At least now he did not have to worry about protecting people who were defenseless as he swung his bow into the skull of the corpse heading towards him.

He heard Abraham let out a shout that sounded almost like a war cry and if he had had the breath Daryl would have told him to shut the hell up. They did not need to draw any unnecessary attention towards themselves, there was a reason they weren't using guns after all.

The numbers around them dwindled and Daryl let his bow fall from his hands, pulling his knife out from the sheath on his hip. It slid easily into the skull of the walker reaching for him with mangled hands and Daryl found himself wrinkling his nose at the smell of the bodies. He had been inside the walls for so long he had almost forgotten the stench of the dead.

Panting from exertion Daryl straightened, his eyes scanning the woods and surrounding area quickly. It seemed the walkers had all been put down. Morgan nodded at him gratefully as Daryl picked up his bow, swinging the strap back over his shoulder. A few steps behind him Abraham laughed, as if they had just been playing a game rather than fighting for their lives and the lives of those inside. Daryl turned to the sound in time to see the girl, Holly he thought her name was, standing next to Abraham roll her eyes at his actions, bending to wipe her blade clean on the shirt of a walker by her feet.

The two he had told to stay by the gap in the fence were still there, Katy's knife held so tight in her hands that even feet away Daryl could see her knuckles had gone white. The boy, whose name Daryl didn't know, had a hammer clenched in one fist although Daryl saw that his other hand was wrapped around the but of the gun strapped to his hip.

Daryl was just about to snap at him to put the gun away when the groans of more dead filled his ears from behind him.

XxX

 **Trigger warning: this next section includes a graphic amputation**  
Beth stood frozen in the doorway unable to tear her eyes away from the man moaning on the bed. He tried to twist away from Peter as the doctor placed a rag over his mouth. The man kicked roughly for a few moments before he went still.

Peter saw her horrified stare as he looked up. "Cholorform. Not the safest method but we use what we've got." he beckoned for Beth to come further into the room and somehow she manged to get her feet to corporate. Peter passed her the rag as well as a small brown bottle. She could just smell the faint stench of the sweet smelling liquid from the distance with which she held the rag in her gloved hand.

Denise approached the bed then, checking the tourniquet tied just below the man's shoulder. Beth could not tear her eyes from the sharp toothed saw in her hand even as Denise told her. "We need you to dose him if he starts to wake up."

Beth shook her head in terror. This was all to much for her. She could deal with the blood and the cuts and even broken bones but this? She was on no level prepared for this. Her fear was heavily evident in her voice as she whispered, "I can't."

"You have to." Denise looked up at her then, her blue eyes full of guilt as she admitted. "The others are more useful out there than you. They have more experience. I've never seen you flinch at blood before Beth. Don't start now."

Closing her eyes Beth drew in a few quick breaths, making sure to breath through her mouth so the scent of blood would not keep lingering on her. She knew this man would die if they did not amputate soon and Denise was right, she would be better in here than the others. Not trusting herself to speak she nodded once to let the doctors know she was ready to help.

Positioning herself at the head of the bed Beth clutched the rag in one hand while she held the man's uninjured arm down with the other. Peter had been called out to help another patient leaving Beth to face the grizzly sound of the saw biting through the man's flesh alone. As much as she did not want to see the mess of muscles, blood and tendons that had once been his arm Beth had to keep her gaze locked downwards to watch the man's face for any sign of him waking.

As she did so the soft sounds of Denise grunting as she dragged the saw back and forth suddenly faded out and instead all she could hear were people crying out and she was back in the dark prison she had seen in her memory of Carl. An old man lay on one of the dirty bunk beds, his face pale and his right leg ending just below the knee.

Shaking her head Beth tried to focus on the present, her fingers curling around the man's shirt as Denise sawed through the last few pieces of flesh attaching his arm to his body. The man's face was still unmoving and Beth was grateful he had been placed into drug induced sleep. She could not imagine facing this with him awake.

Another flash assaulted her then and Beth whimpered as the horrific memory hit her.

_She was back in the hospital and everyone was yelling around her. She had her hands on the shoulders of a woman not much older than her and she could see the bit mark on the woman's arm. Dr. Edwards was there and Beth watched as he began to amputate the woman's lower arm completely ignoring the girl as she began to buck and scream._

"Pass me the tray Beth." Denise's voice pulled her from the memory with a start. Casting one last look at the man whose life they had just saved from the walker's infection Beth quickly moved to help Denise close off his arteries so they had not just saved him only to have him bleed to death. Even as she worked part of her mind was still locked on the two visions she had just seen wondering who on earth those people possibly could have been.

XxX

The dead just kept spilling out of the trees. It was taking all they had to keep them at bay. Daryl longed for his crossbow but without arrows it was currently useless, in fact he had abandoned it on the corpse littered ground so that he could move easier with his knife.

More than once he found himself pressed back to back with Morgan or Abraham as they tried to end the influx of walkers headed at them. Daryl could just see the end of the herd in sight which was enough to keep him going even as every muscle in his body begged for him to stop.

They had sent the boy back inside for reinforcements leaving Holly and Katy to kill any walker that manged to get past them before it got through the walls. At one point Daryl had been forced back as two walkers attacked him at the same time. Ducking under the outreached arms of one he had managed to kick the knee of the other in. Before he managed to stab it the other walker was on top of him and knocking him to the earth. In seconds both walkers were falling on him. He had manged to catch one by the shoulders but the other was heading straight for his neck when suddenly its blood was splattering on his face as a boot slammed into its skull. The weight of the walker above him was lifted and Daryl struggled to his feet in time to see Holly slip her knife into its head. He managed a nod of gratitude before throwing himself back into the fighting.

By the time reinforcements showed up there was only a handful of walkers left to deal with. Which was a good thing since it seemed the boy had only grabbed the first people he had seen to come out and help them. One of the girls looked to be Carl's age and Daryl cursed when he realized that the only weapon she was holding was a gun.

"Don't!" he gasped out as she rose the gun to shoulder level, her shaking hands causing the gun to jump. He ignored the walkers that turned in his direction at his voice. His next cry for her not to fire was lost as the gunshot echoed through the clearing and a searing pain ripped through him.


	13. Chapter 13

His hands drifted to his stomach in surprise as blood began to seep out through his fingers. Screams filled his ears but they were not coming from him as he slowly began to sink to his knees. Before he could reach the ground, however, an arm was wrapping tight around his shoulders and yanking him painfully to his feet.

"I don't think so Dixon." Morgan's deep voice filled his ears as Daryl struggled to get his feet underneath him. He could still see a few walkers shambling towards them but Abraham and Holly were on them before they could get any closer to the pair as Morgan began to drag him forward.

"We should help them." he groaned, trying to push away from Morgan even as the man tightened his grip around him until Daryl was certain he was going to leave bruises. The pain in his stomach was threatening to knock him unconscious but Daryl fought it back, his urge to help protect the others stronger than even this pain.

"No way. We gotta get you to the clinic." Morgan hold on him was stronger than Daryl would have thought possible as he half dragged him to the fence.

Daryl wanted to protest but he was beginning to feel lightheaded and keeping his feet underneath him was becoming a harder and harder task as Morgan led him past the girl who had shot him. She could only stare at Daryl in wide eyed horror, the gun laying abandoned at her feet. Daryl felt like he should yell at her but he knew that she had not shot him on purpose. But more than that yelling at her would take more energy than he had at the moment. He knew she would hear about it later from everyone else anyway.

They passed the fence and Daryl stumbled as Morgan pulled him over a curb. His vision went black for a moment and even though he could hear Morgan talking to him the words began to blur together as they hobbled down the street. Shouts filled the air and suddenly another arm was wrapped around his shoulders and Daryl didn't have to put nearly as much effort into standing as he had before. Turning his head to see who was holding him seemed like to much work as his head lolled on his neck. The last thing he saw before everything went dark was his blood falling from the wound on his side to coat the street below.

XxX

They had just left the room after patching up the stump where the man's arm had once been when the front door crashed open. Beth just caught sight of Glenn entering sideways before her gaze landed on the bloody man propped up between him and Morgan.

Her breath left her in a gasp as her feet moved towards them before she could even think. She could see blood coating Daryl's side and her heart seized in terror. As much as she wanted to ask if it was a bite she could not get her mouth to form the words to the question she so terribly dreaded.

Thankfully Carol had no such problem as she sped down the hallway with her. "Is he bit?!"

"Shot!" Morgan cried not even looking at Beth as she pressed herself closer to the side of the hallway to allow them more space to push past her to the room Denise was pointing them towards. She did not even look to see if anyone else in the clinic needed her before darting in after them.

They were placing Daryl onto the bed and Beth grabbed his ankles to help swing his legs up onto the mattress. She barely noticed Denise pushing Morgan and Glenn back with one hand as she could not seem to tear her eyes away from Daryl's pale face. His mouth had fallen slightly open and his eyes did not move behind his closed lids. Beth could barely breath as she looked at him so when she saw movement from the corner of her eye she turned towards it immediately hoping that not looking at his face would help the oxygen find its way back into her lungs.

She had not been prepared for the movement to be Denise cutting Daryl's shirt from his body. Beth gasped in horror as she took in the sight of the entry wound the bullet had left in his stomach. Her fingers curled around Daryl's ankles as she shoved down her own panic and fear. He needed her to be present for this, she could deal with her own terror later. Right now Daryl was her only concern.

Denise pressed a towel to the wound before beckoning for Beth to take it. She was surprised to find her hands steady as she took over, watching as Denise began to prod at Daryl's stomach around the entry wound.

"His stomach is rigid. Something was damaged." the doctor's fingers ran over Daryl's abdomen expertly as a frown creased her forehead. "There's no exit wound. The bullet is still in there."

Beth sucked in a deep breath as she took in what the doctor was truly saying. Daryl may not have been bit but he was nowhere near in the clear just yet. She kept her eyes glued on his still face as she pressed the cloth to his side as the other women readied the room for surgery behind her.

XxX

Familiar voices dragged him back to consciousness although it felt like it took him a year to open his eyes. The sounds of people rushing around filled his ears as well as people calling out for medical equipment and tools he did not even want to begin to consider the uses of.

Daryl groaned as he twisted his head to the side forcing his eyes to stay open as he surveyed the small bedroom he was in. He caught sight of the familiar bright red hair of the doctor blurring past him before his eyes landed on Carol whose mouth was pressed into a firm line as she pulled on a pair of latex gloves. The sight of her familiar face calmed him marginally but she was not the person he was looking for. There was one person he needed to be beside him in that moment yet he did not see her in the small room.

"Beth?" his voice sounded more like a groan of pain than a question but it seemed everyone in the room finally heard him. He saw Denise give a nod to someone standing behind his shoulder but before he could even begin to process what that meant fingers were brushing his hair off his forehead.

Soft hands cupped his face and immediately some of the pain began to ebb. Her breath tickled his ear as Beth leaned down to whisper in her melodic voice, "I'm here Daryl. I'll be right here the whole time."

With that thought in mind Daryl did not even protest as she pressed the sickly sweet smelling cloth over his lips.

XxX

The following hours were a surreal blur to Beth. She barely remembered most of it but the sight of Denise bent over Daryl's stomach with a bloody pair of forceps clenched in her fist was seared into her brain. She had to press the rag over Daryl's mouth twice more before the surgery was completed. Each time she had to do so tears threatened to pool in her eyes but she managed to keep them at bay knowing that she had to be strong for Daryl. He needed her and she was not going to let him down. She spent the whole surgery bent close to his face and whispering words of encouragement into his ear. She couldn't remember anything she had said but she hadn't been able to stop talking, even if he couldn't actually hear her.

He had been fortunate in that the only thing the bullet had damaged was his appendix which it had ruptured upon entry. The surgery went on longer than it would have if all Denise had to do was remove was the bullet since she had to remove his appendix as well. Thankfully the bullet had not split into smaller fragments when it entered his body because if that had happened they would have likely torn through his intestines and although no one said anything Beth got the feeling that would have been a much harder thing for them to try to fix than draining out the damage from his appendix.

They were lucky that Carol knew Daryl's blood type because he had lost a great amount. They had sent James to look for anyone who was B positive blood type and within a few minutes Rosita was there and being hooked up to ivs that sent her blood pumping into Daryl's veins.

By the time Denise finally closed Daryl's abdomen back up hours had passed and the hand Beth had kept curled around Daryl's shoulder the whole time had a terrible cramp in it. She flexed it a few times as Carol passed Denise bandages to place around the sight of the incision. As the last piece of tape was placed on the gauze it felt like a palpable weight left the room as all four of their shoulders sagged in relief.

"Your friend should be okay." Denise said with a smile, patting Daryl's hand as she stretched her back wearily. Beth sighed in relief as she placed the bottle of chloroform and the sodden rag on the table before pushing her hair back off her face.

"I'll go tell the others." Carol said, a small smiling gracing her tired features as she passed Rosita a bandage to place over the small hole the needle had left in the crook of her arm.

Beth's ears pricked up at the word and she turned away from Daryl to watch as the two women headed for the door. "What others?" she asked softly, inching closer to Daryl as everyone made to leave.

Carol's smile grew as she looked over her shoulder at Beth. "They'll all be here by now. They'll want to know he's okay."

Left alone in the room with Daryl Beth barely even acknowledged that everyone else was in the clinic as she focused on what she thought was the more important part of Carol's words.

Daryl was going to be okay.

XxX

Whatever drug Beth had dosed him with had clung to him and forced him into a dark nightmare from which he thought that he would never awaken. His worst memories seemed to assault him one after the other in a never ending stream of terror.

He saw his father clutching his worn leather belt, Sophia stumbling out of the barn, Merle lumbering towards him with his eyes the yellow film of the dead, Andrea pulling back her shirt to reveal the bite mark on her neck. Beth shot in the head again and again.

Eventually the memories all seemed to blur and twist together. Sometimes Merle was the one holding the belt or Lori would be coming towards him with eyes gone flat and cold, her hands reaching towards him like claws. Beth would watch him with a twisted smile on the other side of a window and no matter how loud he screamed she never made any move to come any closer. He beat on the glass until his fists turned raw and bloody and yet it had no effect on either the glass or her.

XxX

"He's stable Beth. Why don't you go home and get some rest?" Denise's soft voice caused Beth to push off from where she had been leaning tensely against the wall as she watched the doctor check on Daryl's vitals and the sight of the incision.

She shook her head immediately, knowing full well that even if she were to leave the room her mind would stay there all night. The group had finally all went home after they had been told that Daryl could have no visitors until the following day. Beth had heard the sounds of everyone protesting even from behind the closed door. She understood that they were upset but since Daryl was unconscious anyway she was sure that they hadn't missed very much. Despite that she herself had yet to leave the room even though over an hour had passed since the surgery had ended.

"I'm gonna stay." Beth admitted causing Denise to look over at her in surprise. Her eyebrows furrowed as she looked at her but then her eyes flickered back to Daryl and the crease between her brow smoothed out as a look of understanding crossed her face.

"Okay." the doctor wiped her hands on her blood stained shirt before giving Beth a knowing smile. "Check on him every hour alright? If there is any sign of fever or leakage around the incision sight you need to tell Neal immediately."

Beth repeated everything she was to look out for before exchanging good nights with the doctor. The moment the door shut behind her Beth dragged the chair out of the corner of the room to the side of the bed. She had just sat down in it when the door opened again and Carol came back in.

She walked to the end of the bed where she stood for a moment simply looking down at Daryl in relief. After a moment of silence she spoke softly, her gaze now locked on Beth worriedly. "I'm going home now Beth."

Beth nodded to let her know she had heard her but she made no other acknowledgment as she pulled her feet up onto the chair, drawing her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them as if she could physically hold herself together as the stress of the day began to wear on her.

Carol let out a soft sigh and even without looking Beth could feel her eyes were still on her. "Are you planning on staying all night?"

Beth nodded again as she dug her fingers into the rough material of her jeans. She could feel some of the blood that had splashed and dried onto her clothing under her fingers. Carol said nothing but suddenly she was much closer to Beth and bending down to kiss Daryl lightly on the forehead.

"I'll see you two in the morning alright?" she whispered before she leaned down and cautiously placed a kiss on the crown of Beth's head. Her eyes drifted shut at the contact and for a moment she let Carol simply hold her as the tension and general fear of the day overwhelmed her.

"I'll send someone with clean clothes over." Carol said before she slipped out the door, shooting one last worried look back at the pair as she did so.

Beth said nothing as she rested her chin on her knees, watching as Daryl's eyes shifted behind his lids as she quietly wondered what he was dreaming. She was not sure how long they sat there like that but at one point Daryl let out a whimper and before she even thought the action through Beth had moved to grip his hand tightly with her own.

XxX

His nightmares slowly began to warp into something more dreamlike and far less painful.

Daryl found himself standing back inside of the funeral home only now it was bright and full of sunlight as he walked down the wide hallway. The sound of laughter drew him into a room and he watched as Lori and Jacqui laughed at something he did not know the cause of. He backed away slowly before heading across the hall to the other door where upon opening it he found Dale and T-Dog staring intensely at a chess board while Andrea and Amy teased them both by threatening to make their moves for them.

Daryl felt a strange sense of confusion as he walked down the hallway, opening every door he came upon. When he saw the people inside he felt like there was something he was forgetting about all of them, something incredibly important, but he could not quiet place his finger on it.

As he opened the last door on the hallway he was surprised to find Hershel and his brother sitting across from each other at a small table, both clearly at ease in their conversation. Unlike all the other rooms that time when he opened the door their gaze turned to him and it was in that moment that he remembered what he had forgotten.

Everyone in this house was dead.

A sense of dread washed over him as before his very eyes the faces of the men before him began to twist and morph into something sinister. He went to shut the door but found that it wouldn't budge as both men stood up with a screech of their chairs on the hardwood. Daryl turned quickly only to realize that the hallway behind him was now packed as everyone from the rooms began to shamble out of them. Their smiles were gone and replaced by decaying flesh as they approached him. Pressing his back tight against the wall he scanned the hallway for a way out desperately. He was just about to give up when suddenly a small hand was clutching his. Daryl turned with wide eyes to see Beth standing beside him, her blue eyes wide and clear as she whispered furiously.

"I'm not leaving him."

Daryl's brow furrowed in confusion at her words but before he could say anything another voice came from down the hall. It looked like Amy was the one speaking but that couldn't be right as it was a man's voice spilling from her lips.

"I'm more than capable of taking care of my patients Greene."

More confusion filled him as the voice inside of Amy addressed Beth instead of him but Beth only shook her head before she whispered sternly.

"I don't care if he is your patient. He's _my_ friend and I am not leaving him."

And with that Beth tugged on his hand and turned to yank open the door he could have sworn wasn't there a second ago. The sound of people throwing themselves against the wood filled his ears even as he followed Beth up the small staircase in the dark. A surge of relief filed him as he realized he was no longer facing this horror alone.

XxX

Beth held onto her anger in the hopes that it would keep some of her exhaustion away. For the most part it worked and she sat huddled in the chair, Daryl's hand clutched tightly in her own, as she silently fumed at the audacity Neal had to demand for her to leave.

She had always known she was not very fond of the doctor, he lacked any sort of bedside manner whatsoever and now it was apparent that he lacked simply any form of manners. He had all but ordered her to leave Daryl, as if her need to stay with him was some kind of insult to his medical abilities. Well Beth didn't care what he thought about it, she was going to stay by Daryl's side all night and there was nothing Neal could do about it.

A soft knock on the door drew her attention from her thoughts and Beth stood in a rush fully prepared to yell at Neal again. She was not going anywhere and he was going to have to accept that. All but marching to the door to the bedroom she yanked it open with a glare that faltered as she took in her sister's wide eyes.

Beth's mouth dropped open in confusion but she did not say anything as she took a step to the side to let Maggie into the room. She walked a few steps to Daryl's bed where she stared down at him for a moment before reaching up to brush some of his overgrown hair off of his face. Beth couldn't help but wonder when the last time he had a haircut was.

"How's he doing?" Maggie's quiet voice drew Beth from her pondering and she looked back to her sister to see her watching her intensely. Beth shrugged, looking down at her hands as she began to pick at the dried blood on her fingernails.

"He's stable. It looks like he should make a full recovery."

"I brought you two some clothes." Maggie set the bundle Beth hadn't even noticed she was holding down on the chair Beth had just vacated. "Rick got Daryl's but I didn't think you'd want anyone going through your things so I just brought you some of my clothes."

Beth looked up at her then to see her sister shrug as she trailed off into silence. The silence stretched on as they simply watched each other wearily from across the small room. Beth felt a swell of gratitude for her sister's thoughtfulness but it was dimmed by her simple exhaustion of the events of the day.

"Are you doing okay?" Maggie finally asked softly as she reached up to tuck a loose lock of hair behind her ear.

Beth shifted her feet uncomfortably. She hadn't really thought about how she was doing after everything that had happened, she wasn't what mattered after all. But still Daryl had been shot and a man had to have his arm amputated and she had to be present for both surgeries. Not only that, she had also remembered the flashes of two other people being amputated as well and had no one to talk to about them. It had definitely not been the type of day she had been expecting when she had woken up that morning but it seemed so selfish to focus on herself after what everyone else had gone through.

"I'm fine." she lied as she picked at the blood on her hands again. Truthfully Beth did not want to think about how she was feeling. If she did that then she knew that her horror at the man's bite, her confusion at the memories she had seen and her mind-blinding terror at seeing Daryl come into the clinic covered in blood would simply consume her. She would fall apart and she did not know if she would be able to put herself back together enough to be of any use to Daryl.

"No you're not." Maggie's voice held an edge of pain and understanding as Beth looked back up at her in surprise. She could see how much this woman knew her, even if Beth herself didn't, as she looked at her with green eyes that Beth knew could see right through her lie. They fell into a standstill as they both waited stubbornly for the other to cave and either drop the subject or admit to their pain.

The silence dragged on as Beth felt the pain of the day picking at her, looking for any weak spot to get through. It finally began to make its way past her defenses and Beth found she could not get any words out as she finally let the general fear and confusion of the day take over her. A whimper escaped past her lips and a look of pain crossed Maggie's features but she stood her ground, clearly afraid of what would happen if she came any closer. In the end it was Beth who took the first step forward but she did not have far to go before she fell into her sister's waiting arms.

XxX

The dream finally relinquished its hold on him and Daryl nearly moaned in relief as he felt the pull drawing him to consciousness. There was a weight resting on his arm and he finally got his eyes open enough to realize it was Beth using his arm as a pillow although he could see that her eyes were open.

She caught sight of him looking at her at the same time and she sat up with a small gasp before leaning closer to place a hand to his forehead.

"How do you feel?" she asked softly as Daryl smiled at the sight of her face.

"Like I've been shot." he admitted causing her to smile at him tiredly.

"You can join the club now." she whispered making his eyes drift to the small circular scar on her forehead where the bullet he had thought meant the end had gone through her. "We're thinking of getting matching jackets." Beth joked as she moved to lean away from him.

Daryl reached his left arm up slowly, groaning as the pain rolled through his side. Beth was just about to protest when he finally got his hand up high enough to cup her face. Her eyes widened in surprise and for a moment he simply let his hand rest where it was as his heart began to beat faster. He felt a twinge of relief that he was not plugged into a heart monitor because he knew it would be speeding up noticeably as Beth slowly sat on the edge of his bed, still leaning over him. Slowly Daryl's thumb stroked the scar the bullet had left her and Beth's eyes drifted closed at his touch.

"Pretty shitty club." he finally whispered causing Beth to laugh softly as her eyes fluttered open again. For a moment they simply stared at each other, Daryl's hand still cupping her face as she looked down at him.

"I was so worried." she finally admitted, her voice catching on the last word. "When you came in I thought-" Beth shook her head, cutting herself off but Daryl thought he knew what she was going to say. He had just come in from a walker attack covered in blood, it made more sense to think he'd been bit than shot at the sight of that. He felt a pang of guilt that he had caused her such worry even though he knew that it had not been his fault.

"I'm okay." he whispered, brushing away the lone tear that manged to squeeze itself out of Beth's eye as she looked down at him. "I'm not going anywhere Beth."

She smiled at him before reaching up to take his hand in hers, pressing her face closer to his palm for a moment as her eyes fluttered shut. Daryl could feel the pain medication he had been given start to pull on him again and so when Beth placed his hand back onto the bed he did not move to stop her.

Beth reached up to brush the hair off of his face as he let his eyes drift close. He knew that more nightmares were likely waiting for him on the other side but as long as Beth was beside him he thought he could face them.

"Will you stay?" he mumbled turning his head to look at her through eyes he could suddenly barely keep open.

"Of course." Beth said before she suddenly leaned closer and pressed a feather light kiss against his cheek. Daryl drew in a sharp breath at the feel of her lips on his skin and she was so close that her breath tickled his ear as she whispered. "I'm not gonna leave you."

The words sent a shiver down Daryl's spine as he remembered the last time she had said that to him and the months of pain that followed after it. Still he had not meant to say anything about it but maybe it was the drugs or maybe it was just her because instead of merely agreeing Daryl mumbled, "You've said that before."

He was just about to drift back to sleep when her next words drifted to his ears. "I know."


	14. Chapter 14

He woke up to a dull aching pain on one side and the strangest sensation of weight on the other. Stifling a groan Daryl opened his eyes to see the top of the bandage on his right side peeking out from the blanket that covered him which reminded him of the cause of his pain. Turning his head to the left he saw that Beth was leaning against him again only this time her head was just barely resting against his stomach and her eyes were closed in slumber. Sleeping, her face was free of the perpetual crease that was almost always between her eyebrows these days. Her look of almost constant confusion was wiped off her features as she slept. She looked peaceful like that and Daryl would have gladly dealt with his pain for a few more minutes of watching her sleep.

But as if she sensed him waking up only seconds later Beth's eyes slowly blinked open and Daryl had to fight back his look of disappointment as she glanced up at him tiredly. Beth gasped as she realized she had fallen asleep and she stood quickly, leaning over to press her hand to Daryl's forehead urgently.

"How do you feel?" she asked, her voice groggy from sleep.

Daryl shrugged and winced as the motion sent a ripple of pain up his side. "Alright." he admitted. "Hurts a little."

Beth smiled down at him before she turned her attention to the actual wound. "Well you were shot. Plus Denise had to take out your appendix."

His ears perked up at that information as Beth turned away from his side, clearly satisfied with the state of his stitches. And here he'd thought the pain was normal for being shot in the gut. "Huh." he said placing his hand curiously over his stomach, an action he regretted instantaneously as the pain flared up again.

"It's okay." Beth said, looking over at him when he winced. "You don't actually need it."

He snorted at the breezy tone in her voice as if she told people they'd had their organs removed everyday. "Easy for you to say. You've still got yours."

The smallest of laughs escaped Beth's lips as she finished running all her check on his vitals. "Everything looks normal, or at least everything Denise told me to look out for does." A hint of worry still visibly clung to her but she looked less guilty about falling asleep now that she knew he was healing okay.

Daryl let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding at that news, watching as Beth slowly sat back down in her chair before looking up at him sheepishly.

"Don't tell anyone I was asleep alright? If the doctors find out they might not let me stay here again."

She looked so calm saying it, as if it was expected of her to continue to stay with him but Daryl had to clear a sudden lump out of his throat to get out his question. "You're planning on staying again tonight?"

"Well..." Beth bit her lip and looked away from him and though Daryl could not be certain he thought he saw the faintest of blushes on her face. "If you don't mind."

"I don't." Daryl said quickly. He felt a sudden surge of guilt then that she was staying there because she thought she had to. That she somehow felt like she had to take care of him but not because she actually wanted to. "But you don't have to stay here. Not if you don't want to." he mumbled, finding it very hard to look at her as he offered her a way out.

"I know. But I do want to." Beth whispered. The last part of her sentence was all but lost to him as Daryl suddenly remembered hearing her say those same words right before he fall asleep the night before. Or at least he thought she had said them. He was just opening his mouth to ask her whether that had been real or a dream when there was a soft knock on the door.

XxX

She was not the slightest bit surprised when she opened the door and found not one of the doctors or even another one of the aides, but Rick standing in the doorway with his daughter propped up in his arms.

His eyes met hers briefly but Beth stepped out of the way before he could say anything to her, allowing him to see Daryl for himself. She turned back inside after him, a noise of protest escaping her as she realized Daryl was trying to sit up to greet Rick.

"You're hurt!" she admonished, her hands resting on her hips as she watched him reproachfully. Daryl at least had the good graces to look sheepish as he settled back on the pillows at her glare while Rick laughed.

"Glad to see you're in good hands." Rick said with an easy grin as he gripped Daryl's shoulder in what Beth imagined was his form of a hug with Daryl in his injured state.

"The best." Daryl returned, his eyes fixated on her face with enough heat that Beth blushed again. The heat of his gaze suddenly felt like too much for her, especially with other people in the room and she knew she needed to get out of there before it got any worse. Besides that she knew that the men might want a moment alone.

"I should go see if anyone else needs my help." Beth whispered before she slipped out the door. After shutting it behind her Beth let her head fall back against the wood as she thought about the brief memory she had gotten the night before.

It hadn't been much but she could still remember the strongest feeling of terror as she threw Daryl his crossbow down a dark hallway towards him. She could remember him waving her off and giving her instructions to flee and her own voice crying out in pure panic, "I'm not gonna leave you!" That was all of the memory she got but even with it ending where it did Beth knew that those words had ended up being a lie.

But now they wouldn't be.

XxX

After Beth left they fell into silence and Daryl knew it was not because neither of them had nothing to say, it was just that they'd said it all so many times before. How many times now had he and this man he saw as a brother nearly lost the other?

Finally Rick eased down into the chair Beth had recently vacated, Judith sitting happily in his lap. "I'm glad you're okay." Rick said, his eyes heavy with numerous griefs as they met Daryl's.

Daryl nodded, trying hard to keep his own emotion out of his voice as he responded. "Me too."

"Thought I knew what it was like to lose you." Rick muttered, staring down at his daughter's head as Daryl peered over at him. "After the prison." Rick shrugged before he finally looked up and met Daryl's eyes again, "Having Glenn come running to me, covered in your blood and saying you'd got shot." Rick shook his head as if he was trying to rid himself of the image. "That was worse."

As if he suddenly found the blanket covering him fascinating Daryl turned his gaze away, running his fingers over the frayed edge. He knew all to well what Rick meant of course, every time he thought Rick was gone or that he was about to watch Rick die the pain seemed to have increased tenfold. The night when Joe and his group had nearly killed them, in the moment Daryl should have been rejoicing because Beth had been right all along and other people were still alive and in front of him, that moment had been overshadowed with a terror Daryl had not felt since the day he had found the thing that used to be his brother.

"I'm okay." Daryl finally mumbled, looking back up at Rick who nodded with a smile.

"I know."

The door opened then, and both men let out sighs of relief as their heavy conversation drew to an end. Beth slipped inside the door shyly, shutting it behind her with a soft click.

"No one else is here but Neal and I'm not allowed to go near the medicine cabinet." Beth said apologetically. "Is the pain too much? Do you need me to get Neal or can you wait until Carol or Denise gets here?"

It was not just Beth's obvious distaste for the doctor but his own half remembered drug induced dream from the night before that had Daryl shaking his head. "I can wait." He'd dealt with pain before after all, what was a little more?

"Shouldn't be to long anyway." Rick said looking over his shoulder at Beth. "Carol will probably be over the second she wakes up."

Beth nodded before turning to leave and Daryl was filled with the overwhelming urge to ask her if she really had said 'I know' last night but Rick's presence stopped him. Before she could walk out the door, however, Judith started crying causing Beth to nearly spin on her heel as she turned back to look at the child Rick was now bouncing on his knee in an attempt to clam her down.

Stepping forward shyly Beth hovered just behind Rick's shoulder as she offered, "I could take her for a few minutes."

Rick looked up at her gratefully before holding up Judith to her. Beth took her without a word and Daryl wasn't surprised when Judith's cries dwindled to whimpers the moment she was in Beth's arms. A look of shock crossed Beth's face but then she merely smiled before heading to the door.

"We'll leave you two alone." she whispered before slipping out into the hallway.

Silence hung heavy in the air for a moment before Rick slouched forward in his chair. "It's times like that I can almost forget what happened."

Daryl nodded, he knew exactly how the other man felt.

XxX

Wanting to avoid Neal for as long as she could Beth took Judith out onto the porch where the early morning mist was beginning to burn off as the sun rose. The child was now happy as she nestled against Beth's shoulder, burying her little hands into her ponytail.

Casting a smile down at her Beth shifted her higher up onto her hip, wincing as Judith tugged a section of her hair painfully.

"Careful sweetie." she whispered as she carefully sat down on the porch step, dew seeping through her clothes at the contact. "You're going to cause quite a tangle."

Judith simply babbled out a happy laugh in response as Beth moved her to sit in her lap. "Hold on." she whispered before raising her hands up to her ponytail. Her fingers moved quickly through a task Beth had not remembered how to do until that moment but it took her only seconds before she was tying off the section of her hair with the spare tie on her wrist. Turning Judith back around so she was facing her Beth offered her the small braid she had just placed in her ponytail.

"Now you can't tangle it." Beth explained causing Judith's grin to widen. "Just try not to pull to hard."

The beaming smile on Judith's face was her only answer.

XxX

After Rick left Daryl's door seemed to become stuck on revolving, as soon as one person left another came in to take their place.

The next person to come in was Carol who gave him antibiotics and thankfully something for the pain that seemed to be only getting worse. She even snuck him a few slices of apple even though Daryl was fairly certain he was not supposed to eat solid food yet. She did a quick routine check of his vitals and she looked so concerned Daryl didn't have the heart to tell her Beth had just done so.

When she had finished she had poked him in the shoulder with a fake glare as she reprimanded, "Don't scare me like that again."

It became a very popular phrase for the day.

He could have sworn half the people in the damn town came to see him and he was fairly certain most of them didn't come out of any genuine affection for him. It was a small town at the end of the world, not a lot happened. As one of the few people seriously hurt after the attack yesterday Daryl was a novelty. He supposed it was easier to come see him than the man who'd lost his arm or the women who had yet to wake up after part of the wall hit her on the head.

As the day wore on he was quickly losing his patience and he began to feign sleep whenever a person who was not a part of his family came in. Daryl did speak to a few others, some of the other people who guarded the fence and a couple of the people who'd been at the attack with him yesterday. Even the girl who shot him came in, stuttering out an apology through her tears. A large part of Daryl had wanted to yell at her or at the very least admonish her harshly for being so careless but at that point Beth had walked into his room to check on him and suddenly most of Daryl's anger was gone. He had survived after all. He did make the girl promise not to carry a gun until she got some actual training for it although he did not tell her he forgave her for shooting him (mostly because he didn't). She left a little more dry eyed anyway and Beth had given him one of those beaming smiles that Daryl could tell meant she was proud of him for taking the high road.

The day wore on and Daryl began to actually fall asleep for chunks of it. He woke to find Rosita, Maggie and Tara about to head back out his door but he managed to call out a groggy wait before they shut themselves out. They were all smiles as they came back to stand around his bed and Daryl was grateful when none of them tried to hug him, although Maggie did squeeze his hand once.

"Thanks for the blood." he told Rosita who laughed softly.

"Of course." she waggled her finger at him reproachfully. "Try not to make a habit of it alright?"

The pain medication was wearing off and the pain in his side had reached an all new high as Daryl groaned. "Deal."

XxX

Maybe it was the constant flow of people coming in and out of the clinic to visit their loved ones who had been hurt the day before or maybe it was the fact that so many of them had sought her out as well but Beth still had hours before her shift over when she snuck outside just to breath.

She sank down wearily on the steps of the porch, her head falling into her hands as her near sleepless night caught up with her. Promising herself that she would go back inside in a minute Beth drew in deep breaths of fresh air, as always forgetting about the medical smell of the clinic until she was away from it. The sound of the door opening behind her caused her to raise her head guiltily. She was just about to stand when a familiar voice stopped her.

"Mind if I sit?"

Shading her eyes from the afternoon sun Beth nodded up at Glenn who sat next to her with a small smile. He didn't say anything for a moment and so she didn't either, not really sure of what she should say. Beth wondered briefly if Glenn knew that to her this is the first time they had ever spent anytime alone together. He was her brother in law and all she really knew about him was his name.

As Beth looked over at him she saw that he was playing with a pocket watch, running the chain through his fingers as he looked out at the town.

"You like to keep time or something?" she finally asked, desperate not so much to end the silence but to learn something else about the man beside her.

Glenn looked over at her with a look of surprise that quickly melted into remorse. He shook his head as his hands went still, the pocket watch laying in his upturned palm.

"Your dad gave it to me."

Beth paused as she let that sink in. This was the first thing she had ever seen of her father's, that she knew of at least. Suddenly she wanted very much to ask him the questions she had thought were to painful for her to talk about with her sister. Beth was all to well aware of how little she knew of the man sitting beside her but something told her that unlike Maggie he would be able to handle it if she asked him to tell her about her father. Still her voice was barely above a breath as she whispered, "What was he like?"

The sharp sound of Glenn's sudden intake of breath was the only sign he had heard her question. He stayed quiet for so long that Beth began to fear he was not going to answer her. She was just about to apologize and tell him he didn't have to say anything when he began to speak.

"Your father was a great man, probably one of the best I've ever known." Glenn shook his head, his fingers curling around the pocket watch as if by holding onto it tighter he could still cling to his memories of her father.

"He was like a father to me too, he was for most of us really. My family, I don't know what happened to them." another flash of pain crossed Glenn's features but he managed to fight that one down faster as he continued, still looking out at the road and not at Beth. "Probably never will. My mom, my sisters. They were up in Michigan in the beginning of all this. I was in Georgia. I'd been going to school there, not that I ever finished. Can't blame that one on the walkers though."

He let out a humorless self deprecating laugh as Beth wound her arms around her knees, watching him from the corner of her eye.

"After the turn, well I was just to scared to try and make it there by myself. To afraid of what I might find, or not find. I fell in with the group on the highway." he looked at her from the corner of his eye and Beth nodded immediately even though she had no idea who had been in their ragtag family for how long. Part of her told her that Daryl had likely been in the group at that point and if he had been then probably the Grimes as well. Other than that she had no idea who Glenn had joined up with in the early days at the end of the world.

"I trusted the people I was with, I even liked most of them but at first it kind of just felt like these were the people I was surviving with. It wasn't until your father gave me this watch that I truly felt like I had a family again." Glenn smiled a bit, finally turning his head to look at her.

"Everyone I was with suddenly went from being the people I trusted and survived with to being my family. All of them. Maggie. Hershel." Glenn smiled at her although Beth could see the sadness tugging at his eyes even as he nudged her shoulder with his own. "You."

She managed a smile for him as he looked back down at the watch in his hand, so many conflicting emotions crossing his face that Beth could not even begin to name them all.

"Your dad told me once that 'no man is good enough for your little girl until one is'. I've never felt like a better man then when Hershel was proud of me." Glenn's knuckles turned white around the watch as he looked back over at her again, his eyes intense on hers as he spoke. "He had that effect on all of us. He made us better people. He made us want to be better people."

Beth smiled at the sudden surge of pride she felt for the father she didn't remember at his words but before she could say anything in response Glenn was thrusting his hand towards her, the watch suddenly dangling from the chain just above her hands.

"You should take the watch Beth."

She recoiled from him on instinct, staring at Glenn in shock. He continued quickly as if he could stave off the protests already forming on her lips. "It's been in your family for a long time. This watch is part of your history, your dad's history. You should take it for a little while."

Beth shook her head quickly as she leaned away and held up her hands as if that could ward off Glenn's insistence. "Its yours. I can't."

"I'm not giving it to you." Glenn said with a grin, as he reached for her hands and curled them around the watch even as she continued to protest, "Its just a loan. So you have something real of his to hold onto for as long as you need."

The watch was warm in her hands and she felt something loosen in her chest but still Beth shook her head. Glenn cut her off before she could say anything else. "It's what your father would want Beth."

XxX

The next time he woke up he was certain before he even opened his eyes that hours had passed. The pain medication was wearing off enough that he no longer felt drowsy but thankfully his side only felt like a dull ache and not the blinding pain of yesterday or even that morning. The light was out in the room and someone had taken care to shut the curtains leaving him in near total darkness as he slowly dragged himself out of slumber.

Daryl was surprised to find that he was alone, the first time he had been since arriving at the clinic. He used the time to consider the evening before with Beth, he had yet to have a chance to ask her whether she truly had said that she knew about the memory he had referred to last night and he could not quite decide how to broach the subject. He supposed he could just ask her but if it turned out he had just imagined it, well he didn't know if he was ready to deal with that just yet.

He had yet to come to a decision when the door to his room opened slowly and only the thought of causing himself more pain stopped him from sitting up. A small figure entered the room, her blonde hair illuminated by the lights in the hallway.

"Beth." he whispered causing her to gasp lightly as she shut the door behind her.

"I thought you were asleep." she admitted as she turned to flick the light switch on. Daryl blinked against the sudden light as Beth walked to his side, a tray balanced on her hands. "I brought you some dinner."

The smell of soup hit him and his stomach growled with hunger causing Beth to smile as she sat down on the bed beside him.

"You probably shouldn't sit up yet." she admitted as she balanced the tray on her lap. "You don't want to tear your stitches."

Daryl was about to protest when Beth lifted the spoon to his mouth.

"Here. I'll help you."

And as much as he wanted to say he could feed himself, take care of himself, he didn't. Daryl didn't say a word as Beth proceeded to feed him the entire bowl, at one point running her thumb over his chin to catch a lose drop of soup. By the time the bowl was empty the hunger in his stomach was gone but it had been replaced by a different kind of hunger altogether, one that he was trying desperately to ignore.

After setting the tray down on the table against the wall Beth sat down in the seat beside Daryl's bed toying with something in her hands. Daryl caught sight of a flash of silver before he recognized the watch Glenn always carried, the one Hershel had given to him all those months ago back at the farm.

"Can't believe he let you have that." Daryl admitted with a grunt. He knew how sentimental Glenn was over the watch, not that he could blame him. Beth looked up at him and shook her head.

"He just lent it to me." she whispered before staring back at the object in her hands. "It was my dad's."

He couldn't tell if the pain on her face was from holding the watch or from it being the only thing she had of her father's and it wasn't even really hers. "You might remember something about him Beth." Daryl whispered, for once willing to bring up the memories in hopes that it would let her have a little bit of faith in herself and her memory.

The strangest of looks crossed her face then and she opened her mouth to say something. Before she did though she just shook her head and looked down at her lap, toying with the watch in her hand.

"What's wrong?"Daryl whispered, not missing the look of pain in her eyes and knowing it was not just caused by the watch.

Beth shrugged but did not look at him as she whispered, "I can tell you later. You're hurt."

Daryl rolled his eyes. "Just tell me now Beth." Suddenly his heart began to beat faster and he wondered if now was his chance, his moment to ask her if he had been dreaming or if she really had said 'I know.' last night.

Beth looked back up at him then and she simply stared at him for a long time before drawing in a deep breath and whispering, "I remembered something else last night. About you."

His eyes shut as an intense surge of relief hit him. It had been real after all.

"It was dark and I was so scared. I yelled I wasn't going to leave you but then, I guess I did." Daryl opened his eyes in time to see Beth duck her head as if she was ashamed of what had happened.

He could barely stand to look at the pain on her face as he reassured her. "You didn't want to. They took you."

Beth bit her lip as she looked over at him, a flicker of doubt crossing her features before she continued. "I remembered some other things as well. When we had to amputate Chuck's arm." Beth trailed off into silence as Daryl winced. He had heard about the amputation of course but he hadn't known that she had been present for it. He reached his hand out for her's again and she slipped her palm into his without a second thought.

"Tell me." he whispered. His happiness that she was remembering more things was nearly nonexistent since he could tell from the hunch of her shoulders that nothing she remembered was pleasant.

She didn't need another encouragement and she began speaking quickly. Daryl could tell Beth had been waiting to talk about this since it had happened. "I saw a girl, around my age. The doctor who saved me after I was shot was cutting off her arm. She'd been bit."

Daryl shook his head sadly at that information, both for the girl and because he could not tell Beth anything about the memory.

Beth continued quickly, likely because she had already realized that if the doctor from the hospital was in the memory Daryl wasn't going to know anything about it. "The other was an older man. His lower leg was missing." Beth trailed off into silence as Daryl drew a sharp breath. There was only one person that could be.

"Hershel." he whispered seeing her eyes widen as she recognized the name. "That was your dad Beth."

XxX

She couldn't stop threading the chain of the pocket watch through her fingers thinking about how she was holding something her father had once held. The father whose only memory she had was him in severe pain.

"Did he heal? After his leg, did he survive?" Beth whispered, drawing her legs up into the chair and wrapping her arms around them, the pocket watch digging into her palm from her tight grip.

"Yeah. He lived for a while after that. Never let it stop him either." Daryl whispered, and even without looking Beth knew his eyes were glued to her face. "He was tough. The toughest son of a bitch I ever met." Daryl continued causing a small laugh to escape past Beth's lips. Her eyes flickered over to him then and he gave her the smallest of smiles. "Must be where you get it from."

Beth simply shook her head as she toyed with the watch in her hand. "I wish I could remember more about him." she admitted softly.

Daryl reached his hand out towards her cautiously and Beth shifted the watch into her other hand before reaching down and threading her fingers though his again. He didn't say anything to which Beth was grateful, for really what was there to say?

"Will you tell me more about that night?" she asked softly, breaking their silence. "The night that we got separated?" Beth wanted to talk about anything else right now other than her father and truthfully she was just curious. She had sounded so sincere in her memory about not leaving him so what had happened?

She heard Daryl draw in a sharp breath before responding, his voice thick with emotion as he muttered. "It'll give you a lot of questions." he admitted, although Beth could tell he was more worried about her than actually having to answer the questions.

Beth looked down at him with a small smile "Daryl, everything gives me questions."

XxX

"You know we were at a prison for a while." Daryl began unsure of how much he could tell her without overwhelming her with information. "We lost it and everybody got separated when we escaped." a flicker of confusion passed Beth's face but she just nodded for him to continue. "You and me got out together."

"Just us?" she asked softly, a strange look of understanding crossing her features as Daryl nodded.

"Just us." he confirmed. "We tried to find other people but we never could. I just wanted to sit down and stop but you never let me." Beth's blue eyes were tight on his and Daryl swallowed hard as he finally made himself admit to her the truth that she had once known even without him saying it aloud. "If you hadn't been there." he shook his head. "I think I would've just given up. On everything."

The squeeze of his hand let him know Beth knew exactly what he meant by that.

"You brought me back. Kept me going, don't think I ever thanked you for that." Daryl admitted as he looked over at her. "So thank you."

Beth smiled at him but said nothing as she waited for him to continue. He had to take a deep breath as he remembered that night, the night that he had thought for so long was their last one together.

"The night you remembered we were holed up in this funeral home. Looking back it was probably a trap set up by those bastards in the hospital but I guess I'll never know." Daryl sighed as he thought about that night, trying to stop his memory before he got up from the table while wishing he truly never had.

"We'd been talking, eatin', when I heard noise out front. There'd been this dog earlier so I thought it was him. It was stupid. I was so damn stupid." he shook his head as all of the hatred he'd had for himself since that moment came flooding back to him with a force that nearly made him gasp. He turned his head away from Beth as the guilt settled like a ball in his stomach.

Beth squeezed his hand tightly. "Don't talk like that." she whispered forcefully. "You're not stupid."

"It was my fault Beth." Daryl continued fervently. Now that he had started to admit it out loud he found he could not stop. "I didn't look out the door, bunch of walkers got it." His hands curled into fists at his anger. "I'm the one who told you to wait on the road." Daryl met her eyes as he told her what she had to have been beginning to realize. "It's my fault you got taken Beth. Everything that happened to you, it was _my_ fault."

And it felt so good admitting it out loud, the thoughts and guilt that had been plaguing him since that night. The ball inside his stomach almost seemed to shrink as he let some of the guilt out. How long had he been waiting to admit that to someone? To let someone else realize all the horrible things that had happened were all because he had been to damn stupid to look out the door before he opened it? Daryl had just wanted to see the dog again to bring it in and let Beth take care of it, to bring it back to life the way she did him. But it hadn't been the dog and his actions had simply set them on a course full of nothing but pain.

"You listen to me Daryl Dixon." Beth moved suddenly to sit beside him on the bed, leaning closer to him as if she physically needed him to understand what she was about to say. "It is not your fault. What happened to me is no one's fault except the people who took me."

Her blue eyes refused to waver as they held his and Daryl could not help but remember the last time she had stood up to him like this. He still remembered how shocked he'd been that the first person to truly stand up to him since the turn was tiny little Beth Greene. He had underestimated the amount of strength and fight she had in her and as she leaned over him in his hospital bed Daryl realized he had done that yet again.

Beth's eyes flashed dangerously as she slipped her hand into his again and Daryl clung to her tightly as she continued."What happened to me, it happened. Ain't nothing we can do to change that. And it doesn't matter because I'm here now. I may not be the Beth you remember but I still survived. I'm still alive."

Daryl opened his mouth, what he was going to say he had no idea, but in the end it did not matter because Beth reached up with the hand he was not clutching and cupped his face with her palm as she whispered. "I made it Daryl."

She leaned forward then, her forehead resting lightly against his as Daryl slowly rose his right hand to her back, ignoring the pain it brought to his side. He wasn't sure if he believed her dismissal of his guilt, it still felt like everything that happened to her was his fault. He should have been more cautious and that was a fact. But with Beth leaning over him like she was, their foreheads pressed together and her every breath tickling his face, nothing else seemed to matter. He'd been dealing with his guilt for weeks he could shoulder it for a little while more.

Daryl let himself focus on the most important thing she had said as he moved his hand up to her hair, his eyes opening wide in surprise as his fingers caught hold of a small braid that he knew for a fact had not been in her ponytail before. He was certain that the words came out more like a prayer than a whisper as he repeated back to her, "You made it."


	15. Chapter 15

"Surprise!"

Daryl started as he hobbled through the front door of the house, astonished to find that the front room was packed full of his family. He leaned heavily against the door frame for a moment, trying to hide just how out of breath he was as he exchanged a look with Beth who stood beside him looking just as startled as he felt.

He'd just been released from the clinic that evening after spending four days trapped in that tiny little room. Although he didn't always feel trapped what with Beth staying beside him every night. Even though he had made sure she knew that she did not have to stay and sacrifice her sleep to watch him she had never wavered and left him.

It made his time at the clinic far more bearable. Daryl had never been the best of patients. When he was a kid his dad never even thought about taking him to the doctor, for either the wounds he had inflicted or anything else, so Daryl had learned to suffer though his pain on his own in silence. He had also learned to be weary of pills and medication at an early age when he saw how dependent his brother had grown on them.

All of this had led to him being not the best of patients. He questioned every thing the doctors wanted to do, often arguing that he didn't need them to keep wasting pain medication on him and that they should be saving it for other people. They didn't listen to him but even they caught on early that he was calmer with Beth in the room. By the end of his second day she had been given special permission to bring him his medications simply because the other workers could not get him to take them.

Beth had taken over his care almost completely by the time they left. Except for the doctors checking up on his wound twice a day she was the one who took care of him. Even Carol couldn't get him to take the medicine that he felt guilty for using. Others might need it worse one day and Daryl knew how to live with pain.

He was fairly certain that the entire clinic let out a sigh of relief when he and Beth had finally left that afternoon, what should have been a few minutes walk talking them nearly half an hour with how often he had to stop to catch his breath. Beth had offered to go get the wheelchair that the clinic had for such things but Daryl refused. He had not been shot in the legs, he was going to walk home if it killed him.

Which, without Beth to lean on, it might have.

In any case the only thing he had wanted to do when he got back was to fall asleep in his own bed. So suffice to say when he opened the front door to a room full of people the first thing that went through his mind was a groan.

As Rick came forward to help Beth lead him into the house Daryl couldn't help but notice the wide smiles everyone had on their faces. It took him a moment to realize what this was but when he did the strangest feeling settled in his gut.

They were throwing a party, and they were throwing it for _him._

No one had ever thrown him a party before. In fact he'd only ever been to one party in his whole life, a birthday party of the neighbors back when he was still very young. He didn't remember much except he'd ate to much cake and gotten sick and had to be walked home early. His father had a right fit about that one but his mother was still alive and in the end she was the one who felt the pain for his brief moment of happiness.

This was nothing like that.

Everyone was all smiles as he came further into the room, Beth and Rick flanking him on either side. This was the first time someone had survived a bad injury at a place where they were safe enough to do something so frivolous and Daryl felt a tightening in the back of his throat that they were doing it for him. On the table he spotted a misshaped brown square and he nodded to it more to distract himself from the feeling in his throat than actual curiosity.

"What's that?" he grunted as they approached the armchair in the corner.

"Cake!" Carl cried happily causing a few people to laugh at his excitement. "Tara made it. Did you know you can make cake without eggs?"

Daryl had never made any kind of cake before but he just shook his head as he turned to settle into the chair.

"Making it without eggs was easy. Finding the chocolate was the hard part. You can thank Michonne for that." Tara grinned as she leaned against the wall next to Eugene.

Daryl grunted his thanks to Michonne who shrugged with a smile as he began to try to sink down into the chair. He winched as the movement flared up the pain in his stomach and immediately Rick and Beth were reaching for him. As much as he hated to show any form of weakness these people were all with him when he thought Beth had died. They had all already seen him at his weakest and his worst so when Beth and Rick offered him their hands to help ease him into his seat Daryl took them without a second of hesitation.

Once he was seated he looked around the room where his family sat watching him with smiles of relief, relief that he had once again flirted with death and survived to tell the tale. Rick clapped his shoulder before walking away to hover in the doorway with Michonne and Beth settled on the arm of his chair, her leg only inches from his arm. Daryl felt a rush of gratitude for the people in the room with him, and he had to clear the lump in his throat before speaking.

"So cake huh?"

XxX

She had never seen everyone in such high spirits before. The room was full of laughter and conversation that only lulled when Tyreese and Sasha passed them all pieces of cake. Beth couldn't remember ever tasting anything like it and when she had her first bite she nearly moaned. Her and Daryl had exchanged exhausted smiles as they ate in silence, content to just sit beside each other and watch everyone else celebrate with joy Daryl's survival.

Beth was happy too, of course, that Daryl had not just lived through the wound and the surgery that followed but also that he had been released from the clinic. The last few days had been tough seeing that he seemed to have very little care for his own recovery. She felt like she had to care for both of them that he got better.

Not that she minded of course, after all she had been the one who insisted on staying with him every night. Beth just couldn't seem to face the idea of going back to this house without him. So instead of having to face her room alone with her worries she had stayed curled up in a chair beside Daryl's bedside for the last few nights, threading the chain of her father's pocket watch through her fingers while she watched Daryl sleep.

Daryl had plenty of other visitors beside her, of course, but no one even tried to suggest that they stay the night with him instead. Maggie had taken to bringing them food every night and when she had seen the watch in Beth's hands she had fallen silent, her usual idle chatter dying on her lips at the sight. But even as she eyed the ever darkening circles under Beth's eyes she never suggested that she take her place as Daryl's sentry while he slept.

As they ate, people tried to pull her and Daryl into conversations but he seemed to be about as exhausted as she was and neither of them managed to stay engaged for very long. Beth wanted to suggest that he go to his room and get into bed, he had been ordered to bed rest after all, but she had a feeling that even she would not be enough to get him out of this room. As long as he was sitting and not exerting himself she would let it slid just this once. She did not need her memories to know how little good things came around in this world.

Taking the empty plate from his lap Beth rose and headed into the kitchen. She had just finished scrapping the last few lingering crumbs of cake into the trash when she heard footsteps behind her. Casting a quick look over her shoulder Beth smiled at Maggie who smiled back shyly in response before joining her at the sink.

"You always had to have chocolate cake for your birthday." Maggie whispered by way of greeting causing Beth to look over at her in surprise at this new bit of information.

"Did Daddy make them?" Beth asked curiously after a moment, surprised when Maggie grinned widely at the question.

"Oh no!" she cried as she shook her head. "Daddy couldn't even make toast without burning it."

Beth smiled at the thought before she turned the water on and ran the plate under it. "Guess I got my cooking skills from Mom then?" she asked, smiling wider when Maggie nodded. After she washed the plate Maggie reached her hand out and Beth passed it to her on instinct not surprised to see her sister already had a towel in hand to dry it with. They washed dishes in a comfortable silence for a minute as Beth thought over the seemingly nonsensical information Maggie had just given her.

"Did he really burn toast?" Beth finally asked, turning to look at her sister with her hip resting against the counter.

Maggie nodded as she looked over at Beth seriously. "Every time."

Before she could stop it a giggle bubbled out of Beth surprising both of them with the sound. And even though nothing was particularly funny after a moment both of them were dissolving into fits of giggles. As she clutched the counter for support Beth wondered if this was how easy it had always been between them and if they could ever truly be like this again.

XxX

By the time everyone left Daryl was barely able to keep his eyes open. He knew that no one would have minded had he left the party early, no matter what anyone said about the party being for him coming home the truth of the matter was that they were throwing the party because he survived being shot and they were in a place safe enough to actually celebrate that. Everyone was all to well aware of the fact that he was injured, no one would have begrudged him for leaving early.

But Daryl was not willing to miss one second of what was the first real party in his life, and with the way the world was, could very easily be his last. Besides, he was comfortable sitting half asleep in the armchair with Beth sitting at his feet. Halfway through the night it seemed that the fatigue running through him passed over into her and she had leaned back against his legs, resting her head on his knee. After that happened, well Daryl wasn't going anywhere after that.

But once everyone finally left the house felt strangely empty (Daryl still wasn't used to not having everyone living on top of each other even though they had been in Alexandria for months) and Daryl retreated to his bedroom he found out nearly the moment he laid down that sleep was not going to come as easily as he had excepted.

It seemed as if everything that had been troubling him in his entire life suddenly needed him to think about it right then. His mind was going rampant bringing up bad memory after bad memory. He kept trying to shove them away but every time he was successful in ridding himself of one a worse one would take its place.

Memories of his father were replaced with the early days of the outbreak to be replaced by the awful day that he found Merle dead but still walking. That took him a long time to shake off, the image had long since been burned onto the back of his eyelids, and Daryl found himself wishing that he could move as if he would be able to physically shake the images from his mind.

As it was he had to lay flat on his back staring up through the darkness at a ceiling that was as empty as he wished his mind could be. By the time he got himself to stop thinking about Merle all he could think about was Beth. For once he did not relieve over and over the terrible moments that he thought were their last together but instead he kept reliving the night he had told Beth about just a few days prior.

The night that had been all his fault.

Because despite what Beth had said, what she kept saying as if even without her memories she already knew he needed the reassurance, it had been his fault that she was taken. Now that Daryl had admitted it out loud he could not stop thinking about all of the things he could have done differently so they could have avoided all those months of heart wrenching emptiness. All those days apart. If he had just insisted that they take the food from the house and leave, if he had checked outside instead of excepting that damn dog, if he had made so many better choices Beth never would have been taken from him.

She never would have had to live the hell that was that hospital. She never would have been shot. And if she had never been shot Daryl would have never had to know what it was like to have her look at him and not truly see him.

Beth only had one memory of her father, she saw her sister as a stranger, and she didn't know of any off how she had singlehandedly saved him. And no matter what she said Daryl knew the truth, it was all his fault.

The guilt that he had once been able to live with was beginning to eat him alive.

XxX

Her body was more exhausted than she could ever remember yet every time Beth tried to close her eyes all she could do was toss and turn. The blankets were a tangled mess around her legs from all her shifting and she had the strangest sense of something being wrong.

She couldn't quite place her finger on what it was that was bothering her. She knew it was not something as simple as temperature, this room wasn't too cold like her old one in the last house. Nor was it that she had anything on her mind, well nothing more than the usual. Beth was not obsessing over any new memories nor was she worried about some connection she couldn't seem to place. But still something just felt _off._

Hours ticked by slowly as she tried in vain to fall asleep. Her body was nearly crying from exhaustion but she could not get it to shut off. Beth could not understand why she was reacting this way. The past few days she had stayed with Daryl she had barely managed to keep herself up at nights but now...

Beth sat up in a rush as she realized what it was that had to be bothering her. This was the first night in four days that she was not sharing a room with Daryl. She had grown accustomed to hearing his breath, to the faint barely there snore he sometimes admitted. It took her only four days to become used to catching her brief hours of sleep with her head resting on his arm.

Or become used to it again. Beth realized then that they must have slept together before since they had spent so much time alone on the run together Besides they'd been a couple, it only made sense to assume they'd shared a bed at least once. Her face reddened as she tried not to think about the other things that might have happened in one of those beds.

Barely able to face the thought since she knew that she would never work up the courage to ask Daryl about it, Beth stood and pulled her blanket tight around her shoulders. She needed to sleep and it seemed that there was only one solution to her problem. But knowing that did not stop the faint tremble in her hands as she slipped out into the hallway. There were no sounds from the rest of the house as Beth shut her door softly behind her and took a deep breath before walking the few steps to Daryl's door.

It was only the thought that she had doubtlessly already done this several times before that got her to raise her hand and knock softly. Beth was surprised when Daryl grunted for her to come in only seconds after she knocked, she had not actually expected for him to be awake as well.

The room was dark when she entered, she could barely make out Daryl on the small bed in the corner.

"Um I can't sleep." she whispered, her heart suddenly pounding in her throat. Beth could not remember ever being this nervous and if she didn't need sleep so badly she thought she might turn around and flee. But this was Daryl, he would never hurt her, and that knowledge kept her feet rooted despite the tremble running up her body.

Daryl made a soft noise of agreement and Beth wondered if he too felt like he was suddenly going through withdrawals from her like she was from him.

"Could I stay here with you?" Beth's voice was a whispered rush but she was proud to notice that it did not waver even if it was a bit hard to understand.

A heavy silence fell over the room and she could swear Daryl had to be able hear the pounding of her heart before he grunted, "In here?"

"I can sleep on the floor!" Beth offered quickly as she took a small step forward, suddenly desperate for him not to say no. She needed to sleep in here, she just knew that if she went back to her own room the four walls would close in on her and she would suffocate. She needed the sound of Daryl's breath to lull her to sleep, she didn't know what she would do if he refused her.

"Not gonna let you sleep on the floor." Beth could hear the shake in his voice but before she could wonder what it meant she realized Daryl was moving to sit up.

"Stop!" Beth darted to his bedside to place her hands on his torso, preventing him from moving any further. She took a deep breath as she tried to ignore the flutter in her belly at the feel of his chest underneath her hands.

"I've slept on a floor before." Daryl grunted although he did not move a muscle under her touch. Beth could feel his heartbeat pounding under her palms.

"Not with a gut shot wound." she chided and for a moment they fell into a stalemate, both of them to stubborn to give in. Daryl did not seem to have a problem with the idea of Beth sleeping in his room just with her sleeping on his floor. Since he was injured (and Beth would never kick him out of his own bed anyway) she could see only one other solution.

"I could..." Beth paused and drew in a deep breath. Reminding herself she had likely done this before she whispered. "I could share the bed with you?" She had meant to offer it as a statement but it came out as a question and she felt a sudden surge of gratitude to the darkness as it hid the blush flaring up her cheeks.

For a moment Daryl neither moved nor spoke and Beth felt a surge of panic that she had crossed some invisible line, that she had ruined something she did not even know could be ruined. Finally she barely made out the outline of Daryl nodding and she let out a breath she had not realized that she had been holding.

As he leaned back against the pillows Beth crawled over him, careful not to touch his side as she settled herself down in the small space between the wall and his body. She couldn't be sure but she was fairly certain neither of them were breathing as she wrapped her own blanket around herself, the cloth and an inch of air the only thing between them as she carefully rested her head on his pillow. Daryl was staring straight up at the ceiling but she thought she heard him breathe the faintest sigh of relief before sleep took her almost before she had the chance to close her eyes.

XxX

While Beth had fallen asleep mere seconds after climbing into his bed Daryl had been kept awake for a little while longer. He had never thought that he would share a bed with Beth Greene, not one that wasn't a hospital bed at least. They were not touching but he could still feel the heat radiating off of her body and it was that warmth that eventually dragged him into slumber despite the nerves roiling in his stomach.

When he woke up he knew before he even opened his eyes that Beth was gone. Still he kept his eyes squeezed shut as he let his hand cautiously move to the other side of the bed finding it both empty and long since gone cold. Groaning as a sudden wave of pain hit him Daryl slowly opened his eyes, surprised to see mid-morning light seeping through the cracks in his curtains.

He couldn't remember the last time he had slept through the night let alone that late into the morning. The doctors had ordered him to bed rest but Daryl felt that he had already wasted far too much of his day. Getting out of bed took him a few minutes but he managed with more than a few curses of pain. When he entered the kitchen Daryl was surprised to find Morgan sitting at the table sharpening a knife with an intense look of concentration.

"It's my day off." Morgan remarked, answering Daryl's unasked question as he eased himself down into a chair with a grunt. He nodded to let the other man know he had heard him, he had already expected as much although he did suspect that the day off had been arranged so that Daryl would not be alone in the house until he was fully healed. He himself had been taken off watch duty until further notice. He would be given a few more days off to rest and heal but once the doctors deemed him well enough he would work another job until his injury was healed enough that he could guard their community with no fear of the injury affecting his work.

"What's wrong Dixon?" Morgan's voice drew him from his thoughts and Daryl looked up at him in confusion.

"You were there. I got shot." he grunted as he settled back against the chair, his hand resting lightly on his injured side as if he needed to remind the other man where his wound was even though Daryl was fairly sure that wasn't what they were talking about.

"No." Morgan looked up at him, his brow furrowing as he peered at him closely. "It's not that."

They fell into a loaded silence and Daryl didn't know if it was the drugs that got him to open his mouth or his strange sense that he could trust the man before him or even just the weight of his guilt crushing his lungs that got him to speak. The thoughts that had been plaguing him all night came back full force and for once Daryl decided to just let them out, to let someone else share the burden of the truth.

"It was my fault." he grunted, staring at the wood of the table. "What happened with Beth..." Daryl let out a long sigh as he admitted it again. "It was my fault."

Silence stretched between them and Daryl fought down the urge to look across at Morgan suddenly wondering if he should have told him that when he wasn't holding a knife. He didn't know very much about the man except that he obviously cared for Beth like a daughter.

"Bullshit."

Daryl looked up in surprise at the word. Morgan wasn't even looking at him as he continued to sharpen the knife as if Daryl hadn't just confessed the worst thing he had ever done to him.

"There's no way it was your fault." Daryl opened his mouth to explain that it was, to tell Morgan that his blind faith in him was unjustified, but before he could speak Morgan continued calmly, "And I'm sure Beth would agree with me."

"She doesn't know-" Daryl began but Morgan cut him off quickly as he finally looked across the table at him.

"Beth knows plenty. Sometimes I think she knows more than she lets on." he shook his head with a mirthless laugh and in the back of his mind Daryl wondered if he was beginning to suspect that Beth was regaining some of her memories. "But even if she doesn't Beth is no fool. If that girl had even the smallest reason to think that what happened to her was your fault she would not spare you a second of her time." Daryl shifted under the man's gaze even though he wasn't sure he believed his words. Beth was the forgiving sort, it was one of the best and worst parts about her. She saw the good in people even when others saw only danger. That's how she somehow saw the good in him.

"Now last I checked you two are pretty inseparable." Morgan continued before looking back down at the knife in his hands. Daryl felt a flash of panic that the man before him somehow knew that Beth had slept in his bed the night before and he was overcome by the sudden urge to defend himself. He hadn't touched her once, he would not let people turn something innocent into something that it wasn't.

"I won't act like I know what you two went through because I don't." Morgan sighed and sat the knife down on the table before he steepled his hands together and rested his chin on top of them. "But I like to think I know Beth. And no matter what happened out there I know she would never blame you for it. Not even if you drove her to that damn hospital yourself. And if Beth doesn't blame you well." the man was looking at him with such intensity that Daryl had to force himself not to look away, "Why should you?"

XxX

Work had felt impossibly long since she could no longer duck away every hour or so into Daryl's room under the guise of checking on him. Beth must have cast more than one longing look over at the door to the room that up until yesterday had been Daryl's because she caught Carol smiling at her several times through out the day. By the time Beth left all she wanted to do was get away from everyone else but as she was walking she caught sight of a familiar person walking ahead of her and a sudden thought struck her.

"Noah!" Beth called out, darting around a few other people to reach the boy who had stopped and looked back at the sound of his name.

He smiled at her shyly and Beth grinned back as she rocked back on her heels suddenly unsure of how to go about this. She had wanted to ask him about the memory she had gotten about the girl at the hospital but she did not know how to approach the subject without letting on that she had actually remembered it. Beth simply did not trust him enough to share that knowledge yet.

"Hey Beth." Noah greeted her, turning slightly to face her better on the road.

"Would you tell me about the hospital?" Beth asked quickly, deciding that it would be better to just ask her questions upfront instead of beating around the bush. She was not surprised to see Noah wince as she brought up the place that had taken them both from their families. "I'm sorry." she whispered. "I just, I just want to try to learn more about well...everything." Strangely she did not feel guilty for lying to him but Beth supposed it wasn't actually a lie. She did want to know what the hospital had been like before she had woken up in it with no recollection of her life before that moment.

"It was a bad place." Noah shrugged after a few minutes causing Beth to frown in thought. She had always suspected that they were bad but...

"How bad?" she whispered, suddenly wondering if she was ready for this conversation after all. Beth had not seen anything awful in her time there but she had seen some of the other wards flinch at the strangest things. It had always felt like there was an unspoken understanding that no one left either which was why she had fled in the middle of the night.

"They weren't torturing us or anything." Noah explained quickly, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans while he stared at the ground. "Not all of us at least." he amended quietly. Beth wrapped her arms around herself as a sudden shiver ran through her that she knew had nothing to do with the cold.

"They just didn't let us leave and if you tried...well most people never got farther than the parking lot." Noah shook his head sadly before looking back at Beth. "There were walkers all over the bottom levels. Most people got bit on the way out."

The memory of the girl's amputation suddenly made sense and Beth nodded for Noah to continue as she felt a pang go through her heart for the girl's suffering. All she had wanted to do was leave a place that was holding her against her will and it had cost her her arm. No, Beth amended as she realized that besides the flash of memory she had never seen that girl's face before. She wasn't still in the hospital after Beth got shot. Somehow that hospital had cost her her life.

"I would have been bit too. Or worse." Beth turned her attention back to Noah who was looking at her with that look of gratitude she had seen the first time they met, well to her at least. "But you got me out. Without you Beth, I wouldn't be here."

She shifted uncomfortably under the weight of his gaze. Beth did not remember what he was talking about and it felt to strange to accept gratitude for something that she did not remember doing.

"Is that what you meant?" she whispered, curiously. "The first time we met here you said I saved you. Is that what you meant?"

"No." Noah smiled at her sadly, turning away to look out at the town around them. "You saved me twice. When you got me out of the hospital." Noah let out a long sigh before he turned back to face her and behind the gratitude Beth could make out a heavy layer of guilt. "And later when we tried to get you out."

Her hand followed his gaze of it's own accord to press lightly against the small scar that marred her forehead.

XxX

After talking with Morgan Daryl had left to his room where he had stayed ever since. His injury prevented him from pacing the floor like he wanted as well as from fleeing the walls to go hunting like he truly craved. For a while (even though it made him feel incredibly stupid) Daryl simply held his bow in his lap just so he could feel the familiar weight of it.

He kept running over what Morgan said and while he could see the sense in it Daryl was having a very hard time letting go of his guilt. He was beginning to curse himself for ever admitting his thoughts out loud because it was that action that had brought them to the forefront of his mind. Before he had told Beth it just been one more weight on his shoulders but now it was an all consuming thought that just would not let go of him.

But what Morgan had said had made sense to him. It rang true to what Beth herself had said after all. She didn't blame him, she was too sweet, too good to ever blame anyone for anything really. But he had told her all the facts and yet she did not hate him. Still she had come to his room last night, slept in his bed. Maybe if he focused on how she didn't blame him he could let go of his feelings of guilt just a little.

Daryl was not fool enough to think that they wold ever truly be gone.

The sound of the door opening finally pulled him from the darkness of his mind and Daryl carefully removed his crossbow off his lap to stand up, wincing as he did so. Denise had urged him to stay in bed for a few more days but Daryl had once pulled an arrow out of his own side, he could deal with the discomfort in his abdomen if it meant not being bedridden any longer.

Carl grinned at him as he walked into the front room, surprised to find that everyone but Beth was home. Daryl tried not to let his disappointment show on his face but he caught Michonne looking at him knowingly from the corner of his eye. Thankfully Rick called her into the kitchen then to help him make something for dinner and Daryl got to shoot her the same knowing look to which she merely ignored.

Daryl had just sunk down into the armchair when the door opened again and Beth slipped inside with a thoughtful look on her face. She cast a quick hello and a smile to the others before walking over to the chair where Daryl sat, smiling at him shyly and reaching down to rest her hand on his forehead.

"No fever, that's always good." Beth joked lamely as she pulled her hand away. "How do you feel?"

"Fine." Daryl shrugged, trying not to wince as the movement caused a pain in his side. He needed to remember to stop doing that. Beth shot a look at Morgan over her shoulder who nodded at her.

"He's fine. Stayed in bed most of the day."

Daryl rolled his eyes, he'd only stayed in bed because he had wanted to be alone with his thoughts and not watched like a hawk, but when Beth turned back to him with a smile Daryl no longer felt the need to clarify that.

"You actually followed doctor's orders?" she grinned, her eyes twinkling as Daryl fidgeted under her gaze. "I'm impressed."

"Don't be." he grunted causing her to giggle as she sank down to sit by his feet. Daryl looked up in time to see Morgan cast him a look and Daryl tried not to think to hard on what it meant. Maybe he was right and Beth didn't blame him but that didn't mean he was going to just magically stop blaming himself. It just wasn't that easy. But maybe, maybe, he could try. For her and for him a little bit too. If Beth didn't think it was his fault than maybe he could try not to as well.

Beth leaned back against his legs and they watched in silence for a long time as Carl and Judith played with her plastic cups. The little girl babbling and Carl's laughter and Beth's occasional giggle were the only sound in the room as Daryl tried to come to terms with allowing himself to start to forgive himself for everything that had happened. He knew that it was going to take a long time and he might never truly forgive himself but he knew that Beth would want him to try. If she didn't blame him, he shouldn't blame himself either. The thought repeated like a mantra through his brain as Rick and Michonne appeared in the doorway to shepard them all to dinner.

Before either of them could speak a different voice caught all of their attention.

"Carl!"

All of their eyes seemed to move as one to Judith who was pulling on her brother's sleeve with a frown as she tried to take the cup from his hand. No one seemed to breath as she repeated again, a bit mumbled but still entirely clear for what she was really saying, "Carl!"

"Did she just..." Carl trailed off into silence as he stared down at his baby sister in disbelief. Daryl exchanged a wide eyed look with Morgan before he began to grin as Rick shook his head in wonder.

"She did." his voice came out thick and Daryl looked over in time to see the briefest flash of pain cross Michonne's features before she smiled.

And then everyone was laughing and trying to goad Judith into saying it again.

XxX

The excitement of Judith's first word took a while to come down from. Part of Beth wondered if they were all to happy for something as simple as learning a word but Daryl had told her during their time at the clinic that after they lost the prison Rick and Carl had thought that they had lost Judith as well. It wasn't until weeks later that they had found out they were wrong. With that knowledge the amount of happiness everyone showed for the little girl saying her first word was understandable.

Beth had never seen someone smile as wide as Carl did every time they managed to get Judith to say his name again. She seemed to have tuned in to the fact that it was her doing so that made them all so happy so she kept doing it with a grin. By the time they had all finally calmed down enough to eat the food had long since grown cold but none of them complained as they all wondered what Judith's next word would be. Daryl seemed to think it was going to be 'ass-kicker' to which Rick had groaned loudly.

As she was washing the dishes Beth overheard Rick telling Daryl that he was glad his daughter's first word was Carl's name. "He was the one who came up with her name, he's always been there for her. He deserves to have this." Even from across the room Beth could hear the emotion in Rick's voice.

Daryl was quiet for a long moment before he whispered, "Her next word will be some form of 'dad'. I'd bet my bow on it."

There was a brief pause before Rick chuckled, "That bow is part of your damn arm."

Beth smiled and she could practically hear Daryl shrug before he responded. "That's how sure I am."

XxX

He had spent so long in his bedroom that day that he was loath to return to it but unlike him the others had not wasted most of the morning sleeping. Still hyped up from excitement Carl had finally retreated to bed and not long after Morgan fell asleep on the couch. He seemed to have no trouble falling asleep even with the others talking in the kitchen but Daryl supposed that catching sleep when you could was just a skill everyone eventually learned to pick up these days.

The rest of them sat at the table for a little while longer, talking about how soon Judith would be walking and that she was likely to be quite the handful after that.

"Michonne are you okay?" Beth whispered, her face etched with concern as she looked across the table at the older woman. Daryl turned to look at her as well, surprised to find a look of pain on Michonne's usually stoic face.

"Fine." she bit out before rising, her chair scrapping against the tile as she stood. She muttered something about sleep before she fled the room. Beth opened her mouth to ask them what was wrong but Daryl merely shook his head as a wave of guilt washed over him. He should have realized Michonne was hurting, she so rarely displayed emotion that when she did he was usually pretty quick to pick up on it. He felt like he had let her down by not realizing that she was upset although he could not figure out what it was that had upset her.

After about a minute of silence Rick excused himself and headed down the hallway but something told Daryl he was not going to his own room. He too had to feel guilty that Michonne had been sitting beside them in pain and neither of them had picked up on it.

Now alone Beth and him fell quiet as they both avoided looking at each other. He did not know how to ask if she planned on staying in his room again, because truly he did not know how he would go to sleep without her there. With Beth beside him at night somehow his usual nightmares seemed to disappear. She was like one of those dream catchers he had heard about once. She caught his bad dreams and made it so only the good ones got through. But Daryl did not want to let her know how much he needed her, she had to already know that anyway.

So when a few minutes had passed and neither of them had spoken Beth finally stood and whispered a good night before heading back to her room. Daryl tried not to sigh in disappointment as he rose and followed after her down the hallway.

The wall between their bedrooms had never felt so thick as it did when he settled down on his bed. Nor had the bed ever felt so empty now that he knew what it was like to share it with Beth.

XxX

No more than fifteen minutes could have passed before Beth realized that sleeping in her own bed just wasn't going to work out for her. She just couldn't get her brain to stop whirring away. She had wanted to try to sleep in her own room because she knew that if she went and slept in Daryl's bed again tonight there would be no going back for her. She would start sleeping in there until he kicked her out. But it seemed the only way she was going to get any sleep anymore was beside him so with a sigh of defeat she stood, tugging her blanket off the bed and wrapping it around her shoulders yet again.

She padded barefoot to her bedroom door, cracking it open and listening for sounds that would indicate her housemates were awake. For some reason she was not ready to be caught sneaking into Daryl's room. Briefly, Beth wondered if the others knew they had become a couple when they escaped the prison together. She didn't know if Daryl had ever told them and she could not think of a way to ask the question without revealing what she knew. Despite what she was about to do she was simply not ready to admit she knew about them just yet.

On near silent footfalls she crept the few feet to Daryl's door, knocking once softly before easing it open a few inches. She heard him take a sharp intake of breath before whispering for her to come inside.

Beth shut the door softly behind her and for a moment they simply stared across the room at each other, barely able to make each other out in the darkness. Beth felt like she should explain what she was doing there but she had already done so last night. Daryl knew what she wanted and if he was against it all he had to do was say so.

She tightened the blanket around her shoulders and waited for Daryl to tell her to leave, that last night was a one time thing. That he could not handle sharing a bed with her again.

Instead he reached beside him and pulled the blankets back off the bed, nodding his head towards it. Beth smiled as she carefully climbed up the bed, mindful not to jostle it to much and cause him anymore pain. She had her own blanket tucked around her but as she settled beside him Daryl tugged his blanket up to cover her the best he could without moving too much.

Neither of them said a word as Beth tucked her head on the corner of his pillow and they both drifted off to sleep.

XxX

He was not sure if hours or minutes had passed when he woke up to the sound of Beth's frantic breathing.

Daryl reached for her hand, unable to sit up and shake her shoulders. Whispering her name he shook her arm trying desperately to wake her from what could only be a nightmare.

Beth woke with a gasp as if she had been held underwater and her eyes searched the room frantically before they came to rest on him. Her eyes held his as she slowly got her breathing under control. Once her breathing had returned to normal Daryl slowly squeezed her hand before he whispered, as if afraid that his voice would somehow startle her, "Nightmare?"

The second she shook her head no Daryl let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. She had taken away his nightmares he was glad to find she had not picked them up by doing so.

"I think I remembered something." Beth whispered, drawing Daryl's attention back to her with a jolt. She hadn't remembered anything for a few days and he was silently beginning to worry about what that might mean. "But it's really strange so I don't..." she trailed off and with his eyes adjusted to the darkness Daryl could just make out her biting her lip in thought.

"Tell me." he urged as she threaded her fingers though his under the blanket seemingly without thought.

Beth turned her head to look at him and despite the seriousness of their conversation Daryl could not help but notice how close together their faces were.

"Have you ever laid in a coffin?"

Her voice was laced with an incredible amount of confusion but Daryl suddenly felt an almost overpowering urge to laugh. He managed to fight it down as he nodded.

"At the funeral home we were at." he admitted, seeing Beth nod in understanding as he spoke.

"Where I got taken?" she whispered causing Daryl to suck in his breath like she had punched him. Beth said it like it was such a simple thing when in reality it was anything but.

"Yeah." he breathed, struggling not to let his guilt take over him at her casual mention of her sudden departure from his life. As if she could somehow sense his thoughts Beth squeezed his hand tighter.

"It wasn't your fault." her breath tickled his face as she spoke and Daryl wanted to close his eyes so he could loose himself in her but he could not bear not seeing her face whenever he had the chance.

He tried to take her words to heart, to except them as truth, but Daryl knew that it was going to take him a long time before he could hear those words without flinching.

"Will you tell me about that night?" Beth's suddenly shy voice dragged him from his thoughts.

"What night?" Daryl asked, confused as he tried to focus on her again.

"Our last night." Beth clarified and Daryl felt a pull at his heart that she would ever consider anything to be theirs. "I keep remembering things from then so something must have happened that night. Something more than just me being taken?"

Her voice was heavy with confusion but Daryl found himself drawing in a deep breath. It wasn't that something had happened that night it was rather that something hadn't.

XxX

Beth had never resented the loss of feeling in her left hand before. It had always just been something she had to learn to live with, a bit of a nuisance but not so hard to work with as the damage to her vision or the disaster that was her memories. But as she lay on Daryl's small bed with his hand held in hers Beth had never resented anything so much as the loss of sensation in her hand. She could tell Daryl's hand was in hers of course, could feel the weight of his palm resting on her own but she could not actually feel his touch.

But as he began to speak her mind was pulled from that to focus instead on his words.

"That night..." Daryl's voice trailed off as he seemed to consider his words carefully. "We were eating and..."

"And the walkers came." Beth turned onto her side to face him better as she spoke. "You've told me this part." she whispered wondering if she should remind him again that the events of that night were not his fault. She could tell that he was never truly taking her words to heart no matter how often she said them.

"No not that." Daryl mumbled, his voice suddenly thick as he spoke. "Before that we were talking." he trailed off again and Beth's brow furrowed as she tried to see his face better in the darkness. Daryl had never had such trouble telling her about their past before, what was so difficult about that night?

"You were writing a thank you note, for whoever lived in the house, since we had eaten some of their food." Daryl let out a sigh and Beth tightened her hand around his without a second thought. In the back of her mind she realized that if she were ever going to tell Daryl that she knew that they had once been a couple this would be the perfect time but she was to caught up in his story to interrupt him.

"I said that we could stay and you." Daryl paused again and Beth realized she was leaning closer to him in anticipation. "You said you knew I still thought there were good people out there. We'd been talking about it earlier and I'd said that the good ones didn't make it."

He let out another sigh but Beth could practically see the guilt resting on him at the words so she scooted an inch closer, leaving barely any space between them as she whispered, "Then what happened?"

For a long moment Daryl simply stared across the pillow at her in the darkness, the only sound each others breathing before he whispered, "You asked me what changed my mind."

XxX

If that had not been the type of answer Beth had been expecting Daryl could not tell in the darkness. She was so close to him that he could feel the heat of her body and her hand in his was like an anchor to the bed. This felt too much like the night he was reliving for her, the night where he had fled from the truths he was not yet ready to admit. Beth's hand kept him from fleeing again despite the pounding of his heart.

Minutes ticked by as they lay in silence, Daryl unsure of what else to say and Beth either thinking over his words or already asleep. But no, he could see that her eyes were open as they watched each other across the pillow.

"Well?" she finally whispered, even her soft voice seeming loud after their last silence. Daryl grunted in confusion at the word. "What was it?"

A shiver ran up his spine as Beth shook her head at him slightly, her eyes on his in a gaze he could still remember the weight of. It did not matter that it was dark, Daryl could still remember the exact look in her eyes as Beth repeated her own words back to him softly.

"What changed your mind?"

Daryl found it very hard to breath for a moment and after a silent struggle with his lungs he finally got enough oxygen back to get his brain to consider his options. He could mumble it off again like he had tried to do that night in the funeral home or he could just stare at her like he had once that had failed. At that time he had not been brave enough to tell her the truth, he had been to afraid that she would realize the unsaid truths behind his words.

Beth didn't just change his mind about there still being good people out in the world, she had changed his mind about the world as a whole. She had woken up something inside of him that he had never thought was there to begin with. Beth had given him hope and by doing so he had let himself believe that maybe one day there could be something more between them than friendship. Because Beth changed his mind about that too, she had changed his mind about her. He hadn't been able to place a word to it at the time but even then Daryl had known what he felt for her was not something you felt for a friend. And he knew that if he had told her that she had changed his mind about good people that she would be able to see that she had changed his mind about all those other things as well.

Maybe he should have taken the chance back then and told her the truth, maybe it would have changed the events to come or maybe it would have done nothing but caused them both more pain but at least then it wold have been said. At least then Daryl would not have gone through months of thinking that Beth died without knowing how important she was to him. She deserved to know.

So with that thought in mind Daryl forced himself to be brave as he uttered one simple syllable.

"You."

Even in the darkness Daryl could see the look of surprise cross Beth's face before her features settled into a smile. "Oh." she breathed out and Daryl's hand spasmed around hers. That damn word again. He began to pull his hand away from hers as he realized that she had in fact been able to read all of his feelings for her in that one simple word and that she did not return them.

Beth let him pull away from her and Daryl turned his head away as he wondered how he hadn't seen this rejection coming when he felt the bed shift slightly. Turning back he saw Beth had propped herself up on her elbow and was peering down at him in thought.

He opened his mouth to ask her what she was doing when Beth spoke, her voice soft and confused as she whispered, "Was it really me?"

And despite the pain Daryl could feel building from her coming rejection he nodded, "Yeah." he admitted softly, his heart pounding against his rib-cage as Beth hovered above him.

Time seemed to still as they stared at each other and Daryl swallowed hard as he realized what he had just done. There was no coming back from this, not now, but as Beth slowly rose her other hand up to cup his face Daryl wondered if she wasn't about to reject him after all. And as she slowly began to close the distance between them, as if she was afraid that at any moment Daryl was going to shove her away, he realized that this was really happening. This moment he thought that they would never have for one reason or another was actually happening.

He was almost afraid to move he was so certain he was going to screw it up but ever so slowly Daryl rose his hand to cup the nape of her neck, guiding her slowly to him. Their foreheads touched and for a moment both of them stilled, their breaths mixing together as they waited for the other to either close the distance or pull away.

"It's only ever been you Beth." Daryl breathed out softly, desperately needing for Beth to understand just how important she truly was to him.

Her name was still dying on his lips when she closed the distance between them and pressed her mouth to his.

Beth's lips were soft on his and he could swear he had never tasted anything so sweet. Daryl's fingers curled into her hair as her lips parted and he rose his head slightly off the pillow as if he could somehow get closer to her. He had never truly let himself imagine kissing Beth, had always known that dreaming up things that were never going to happen did no one any good, but Daryl had a feeling that nothing he imagined would have ever come anywhere close to this.

But when Beth finally pulled away with a shy smile Daryl suddenly realized the hope he hadn't realized he had been harboring.

When he was a kid he had once heard stories of true loves kiss bringing people back from curses and almost deaths and it seemed that some small childish part of him that he hadn't even known had existed had been expecting Beth's memories to come flooding back to her after they kissed. And while Daryl did not believe in true love and life was anything but a fairy tale, he still felt an intense surge of sadness when Beth did not suddenly jump up and yell that she remembered everything.

Instead she curled close to his side, shyly as if she still expected to be shoved away, and rested her head against his chest. Daryl moved his arm to wrap it around her shoulders, pulling Beth closer to his uninjured side as he drew in a deep breath.

So his kiss hadn't magically brought her memories back, it didn't matter. She was still alive and still somehow impossibly curled up asleep beside him and that was more than he had ever thought they would have.


	16. Chapter 16

Her hair fluttered against her cheeks every time Daryl exhaled but Beth did not bother moving as she slowly woke up. Their faces were close together on the pillow as they always were in the mornings despite whatever distance they fell asleep with. Which, to be honest, was never very much.

Beth found herself tracing the outline of Daryl's lips with her eyes, a task she had taken to doing quite often as of late. She still couldn't believe she had kissed him at all, her first kiss that she remembered, but that had been weeks ago and so far there had been no sign that Daryl wanted to do it again.

Beth knew that it wasn't because he wasn't interested in her, if that was the case then he would not be letting her share his bed with him, would not be letting her curl up against his chest every night, and he certainly would not have kissed her back that night. Beth thought that maybe he was just waiting for her to remember more, which she honestly was.

Nearly every night now she remembered something in her dreams, most of the things didn't make very much sense and none of it seemed important but still she was remembering more and more. It was like she was beginning to see the edges of the puzzle she was trying to fill in. She had finally remembered something about Maggie, although it appeared to be from her childhood and Daryl didn't know anything about it. They had both been covered in mud and she had been standing in a pond while they screamed at each other. Beth thought it was fairly funny that of all things that was what she had remembered first about her sister.

She remembered other things as well, nothing more than a few flashes every night but still it was something. Beth hadn't remembered anything else about Daryl since the night she had remembered him laying in the coffin (which she had first thought had been a terrifying nightmare) but she didn't mind since it seemed that they were going to start making their own new memories.

Her eyes drifted up his face and Beth wondered what it would be like to kiss him again. She knew she could, if she would just tell him that she knew they'd been a couple then there would be nothing stopping them anymore, but she still felt afraid to admit it.

It wasn't that Beth was afraid that Daryl would reject her and tell her that he no longer wanted to be with her (she knew he would never do that, where she was laying now was proof enough of that) but she was still terrified of how their relationship would change. She was happy with how they were now, even if she was to afraid to try to kiss him again like she wanted. Beth would wait a little while longer until she remembered something more concrete about their past relationship than just her gut feeling and the pounding of her heart whenever Daryl was near.

XxX

When he woke up he already knew Beth was gone. She always was, sneaking out early every morning to beat everyone else to breakfast. By some unspoken agreement both of them knew they wanted to keep their sleeping arrangement a secret. Neither of them were ready to face the questions or the judgments that everyone else was surely going to have.

Daryl sat up with a groan, wishing that just once he would be able to wake up before Beth so he could see that peaceful look on her face while she slept. But despite his best efforts to wake up even seconds before she did Beth was always gone when he woke up. It always left him feeling strangely adrift, as if the whole thing had just been a dream and she had never really been there at all.

He placed a hand to his abdomen as he stood up, his wound was nearly completely healed although he was still not allowed out on watch just yet. Instead Daryl had spent the last few weeks working in a small cramped room that always seemed to smell like rotten milk while he helped ration out supplies to the community. It was a far cry from the types of jobs he was accustomed to and with each passing shift he could swear he felt himself getting surlier.

When he walked into the kitchen Beth shot him a small secretive smile and Daryl grinned slightly back at her. It was only the way she looked at him that reassured him that he had not simply dreamed up all the nights she slept in his bed.

Before Daryl could say anything to Beth he was distracted by Judith babbling out a new word, which sounded almost like the word bread. Daryl was pretty sure that had to be her sixth word by now. He had been right in his bet with Rick and her second word was 'dada' to which the other man hadn't stopped grinning about for days. Other than Carl that was the only name she knew, the rest of her vocabulary consisting of inanimate objects ('cup' and 'ball') and of course her favorite word 'no'.

Daryl sat in the vacant chair beside Beth, pointedly ignoring the looks Michonne and Morgan were giving them as he did so. Beth slid a plate in front of him without looking as she was engrossed in a conversation with Carl who was talking more animatedly than Daryl had seen in a long time.

Settling back in his chair Daryl silently watched them out of the corner of his eye, fighting down the urge to smile every time that Beth did. With each day that passed Daryl was slowly beginning to get his guilt about her being taken under control. Her constant reassurances and his own reliving of the events in his mind began to help him realize that despite all the things he felt he should have done differently the events that came after the funeral home had been outside of his control. Daryl didn't think he would ever truly let go of the tingling 'what if' in the back of his mind but it was getting easier to live with it. Having Beth within his reach again helped as did the fact she lay curled up against his side every night, her heartbeat blending with his own.

As his guilt lessened it was getting harder and harder to control his impulses to kiss her but Daryl had never been an affectionate man before and he just wasn't sure if it would be okay if he kissed her again. Just because Beth kissed him once wasn't a free pass for him to do it again. Daryl also couldn't let got of the lingering fear that he was taking advantage of the fact that the only person she truly seemed to trust was him. He hoped that once she remembered more about him that fear would go away.

XxX

The time she spent at the clinic had at one point seemed to fly by but now it seemed as if it only ever dragged on endlessly. They had a fortunate dip in patients for the last few days which was good for the safety of the community but bad for the people who worked in the clinic. They had already cleaned the entire building from top to bottom as well as organized all of their supplies and compiled lists of the things they needed for the run teams. There was nothing left for them to do and too little time left in their shift to make sense to send them anywhere else for the day so Denise simply sent them home early, agreeing to stay herself until the next doctor came in.

Beth walked home side by side with Carol who seemed to be in brighter spirits than usual that day.

"It's such a nice day." she said as she drew in a deep breath while Beth nodded along in agreement beside her. "Maybe if the weather holds we can even have dinner outside tomorrow."

Beth made a noise of agreement before she said without thinking. "Daryl would like that."

Immediately she felt a blush creep up her face but she turned away from Carol and pretended not to notice the older woman eyeing her closely as she studied the houses lining the street.

"He would." Carol agreed after a pause just long enough to be awkward.

Beth felt the need to explain so she mumbled quickly, "He just really likes the dinners you know?" She didn't say what she really meant, Beth thought that the dinners were one of the highlights of Daryl's weeks especially with his injury. He always seemed less tense when he had the entire group within his eyesight.

"He likes being near the whole group. Even if he doesn't like all of them." Carol laughed and Beth had a feeling she was talking about the preacher who Daryl would often turn away from on sight to avoid conversations that more often than not drifted to God.

"Daryl's never had much of a family." Carol admitted softly, looking at Beth from the corner of her eye almost as if she felt ashamed for telling someone else's secret. But it was not a secret to Beth, even she knew how hard Daryl's life had been both before and after the turn.

"He had his older brother of course but Merle..." Carol shook her head sadly. "He wasn't the best of men. He did some good things but in the end he was just toxic. But Daryl couldn't get away from him. He was just that type of man, like my husband was."

"You were married?" Beth asked in surprise as she tried to match this description of Merle Dixon to the man Daryl had only ever mentioned to her once.

Carol turned to face Beth in surprise that quickly melted into understanding. "I was."

Beth opened her mouth to ask for more information but before she could Carol cut her off. "But that's a story for another time."

XxX

The day had been long and seemingly endless as everyday he spent cramped inside that little building was. If he hadn't all but written off the concept of time Daryl would have counted down the hours until he was free of its lingering smell and back out into the fresh air. Dixons simply weren't made to be kept inside and by the time he left his fingers were always itching to shoot something.

Not that he could of course, he was not allowed to go hunting until he was fully healed. If it weren't for the fact that Daryl knew he could not get over the walls without being seen he would attempt to go hunting anyway, doctors orders be damned.

As it was being cooped up inside all day was starting to wear him down to the point where the highlight of his day was going to bed. At least there he could be with Beth with no walls between them.

The full moon outside shone through the thin material of his curtains and it caused an unearthly glow to Beth's hair where it spread across the pillow. Daryl was turned on his side (such a little thing that until he was injured he had not known he could miss) facing her and Beth was staring back at him across the pillow with thoughtful eyes.

"What?" Daryl mumbled, hating to break the comfortable silence they were in but knowing by the look on her face that Beth had something on her mind.

"What was your brother like?" she asked softly, her brow crinkling as she looked at him.

Daryl drew in a startled breath at the question. He did not know what he had been expecting Beth to want to talk about but his dead brother would have never made that list.

"I'm sorry." she whispered, reaching out to curl her hand lightly around his upper arm. "Someone mentioned him today and I got curious but you don't have to tell me."

"S'okay." Daryl mumbled fighting down the urge to clear his throat. Images of Merle that he often fought back very hard came surging at him then, bombarding him with a ferocity that was all too akin to his older brother.

"He was an asshole." Daryl finally grunted, seeing Beth jerk her head off the pillow in surprise. Daryl shook his head at the words, they were the truth after all. "But he was still my brother."

Daryl drew in a deep breath as he felt Beth slip her hand into his. He squeezed it tightly as he turned onto his back to stare up at the ceiling. "He was tough and he always made me be tougher. Wasn't always a good thing I guess but without him dogging me, I dunno if I'd still be here."

The words felt foreign in his mouth but Daryl knew as he said them that they were true. Yeah Merle was a grade A dick and Daryl could have done without a lot of his insults and prodding to 'be a man!' but in the end all of Merle's shit had made him stronger. He survived because of himself he knew that, but maybe some small part of Merle had helped him too.

"That's not true." Beth whispered softly, her breath tickling his shoulder as she pressed herself closer to his side. Daryl twisted his neck to peer down at her curiously in the moonlight. Her blue eyes shone as they held his with an intensity he had come to associate with only Beth. "You survived because of you, because of who you are. Not because of things anyone else did to you."

Daryl shook his head slowly at her words. There'd been a time he might have thought that to be true himself but that was before the fall of the prison.

That was before _her._

"No." he whispered as Beth pressed herself closer to him at the word, like she could physically stop him from going to the dark places of his mind. "That's part of it but it ain't all. We survive together."

Beth watched him thoughtfully as Daryl thought over all the people who kept him alive. Beth was a big part of that of course but so was Merle to an extant. So were Rick and Carol and Michonne and everyone else in their family, alive and dead. Daryl would have been dead without them a hundred times over for one reason or another. They kept him going even after he lost Beth, even when all he wanted to do was lay down and stop they kept his feet moving forward.

"You miss him?" Beth whispered, her eyes intense on Daryl's as he looked down at her and remembered another night in the darkness where she posed him nearly the exact same question. "Your brother, you miss him right?"

Daryl did not hesitate this time before he nodded. Merle was a lot of things, not many of them good, but he was still his brother. At one point he had been all Daryl had in the whole world and that was not a feeling one just forgot.

"I'm sorry." Beth's voice drew his thoughts back to the present and Daryl let go of her hand to wrap his arm around her shoulders. She rested her head against his chest as Daryl drew in a deep breath.

"Gets easier." Daryl admitted softly, as Beth wound her arm tightly around his torso. "Doesn't go away, but it gets easier."

He rose his other hand to cup Beth elbow as they trailed off into silence and Daryl thought over the truth to his words. It did get easier, sometimes, the pain of the people they lost ebbing a little more each day but it wasn't always like that with everyone. When he had lost Beth the pain never stopped, in fact it had only ever seemed to get worse. But she was here now and that almost made it all seem okay.

XxX

The house was filled with laughter as it always seemed to be whenever the group all came over for dinner these days. It was no longer the somber affair that had been Beth's true first experience with them. Everyone seemed to genuinely enjoy being together and their joy was contagious to Beth who couldn't help but smile as she watched everyone joke and tease each other. Even Daryl seemed to be in good spirits judging by the fact that he was not surveying the room with a scowl.

The house always seemed so much fuller with everyone in it. Daryl was sitting at the end of the couch and Beth was pressed up tight against him. The couch was originally intended for only three people but they were a stubborn group and they had managed to get five of them squished up on it. Every time Rick moved Beth thought he was going to accidentally elbow her in the ribs and she kept scooting closer and closer to Daryl to avoid it until she practically sitting in his lap.

"Andrea would love this." Michonne whispered quietly from Rick's other side, shaking her head as Carl looked up at her with a sad smile as Beth turned to look at them.

Her ears perked up at the name she did not recognize. "Is she coming to dinner too?" Beth asked curiously as she wondered why she had never heard of this person until now. Perhaps they were just new to the town.

The silence that descended on the room told her more than any words ever could that she had just made a terrible mistake. Beth's eyes scanned the room and she watched in an increasing feeling of trepidation as every single person refused to meet her gaze. Finally she turned desperately to Daryl who looked back at her with a sigh.

He must have been able to read the question on her face because he leaned in closer before whispering, as if it was everyone else who needed to be protected from his words and not her, "Andrea died. A while ago."

Beth drew a deep breath as she nodded, pushing desperately at the mess that was her memories as if she could tug out a face to match the name with sheer force. As so often happened nothing came to her and Beth began to feel her heartbeat speeding up as a terrifying thought occurred to her.

"How many?" she finally whispered, her voice echoing in the silent room. Beth looked up at Daryl frantically, her heart pounding in her chest as she voiced the impossible question she was frightened to hear the answer to. "How many people have we lost?"

If the room had been silent before Beth did not know how to explain it now. She imagined this was what it was like in a black hole, where every sound died before it truly lived.

Daryl shook his head slowly as if he could still protect her from this, but it was too late for that now. Beth's hand shot out of its own accord and she clutched his arm so tightly her knuckles turned white. Daryl didn't even flinch but she saw his eyes narrow, not in pain but in sadness. Whether for her or the dead she did not know.

"Please Daryl." she begged, her voice gone rough as she stared at him in terror. How could he not see how much she needed to know this? Beth needed a number for all the people she had forgotten. "How many?"

Daryl's eyes did not waver on hers even as he whispered, "A lot."

The words hit her like a physical thing and her lungs felt as if they could suddenly no longer function properly. Beth let go of Daryl's arm to curl her own arms around her chest, pressing her palms into her rib-cage as if by doing so she could hold off the panic she could feel coming.

All those people, people whose names and faces she couldn't even begin to remember, all of them had just been wiped away as if they had never really been there at all. Beth had known of course that they had lost people, she had never asked where Judith's mother was because she did not need her memories to know that she was gone. Maggie had told her about their own family that they had lost and Daryl had just told her about his brother the night before, Beth knew that they all had ghosts clinging to their skin. But knowing that and hearing that she had not just forgotten a handful of people but several, that was something else entirely.

Dimly she felt someone place a hand on her upper back and Beth did not have to lift her head from where she had dropped it on her lap to know that it was Daryl. Still she could not breath as she thought about all those faceless people that she would never know again. She was beginning to feel the weight of them, of all their empty blank corpses, pressing down on her. Beth rose her hands shakily to her hair, her fingers brushing over the scar on her forehead, and she felt like the dead she could not remember resented her. Not for forgetting them but for not joining them when she should have.

XxX

Daryl's hand fluttered against Beth's back as he looked away from her for long enough to exchange a terrified look with Rick. The man looked just as confused as Daryl was so he turned back to Beth who had begun to shake roughly as she curled into herself.

"Beth." Daryl whispered, his voice pleading as he tried to drag her out of her panic attack.

"She's got to go through it." Morgan grunted from across the room. Daryl turned to him to see him watching with sad eyes. "Seen this before. Nothing helps, you just got to let her go through it."

Daryl turned back to Beth with a rough shake of his head at Morgan's words before bending to press his face against her hair. Maybe she did have to just go through it but Daryl was not going to let her think for even a second that she had to go through it alone. He did not spare a second thought to what anyone else might think as he pressed his mouth to Beth's ear and whispered.

"It's okay. We're all here. I'm here Beth."

Her breaths were still ragged but suddenly Beth sat up, nearly hitting him in the face as she did so. One second she was sitting beside him and the next she was turning to him and wrapping her arms around his neck. And Daryl didn't know if she climbed or if he pulled but after a moment she was curled up in his lap, shaking so roughly that her body sent tremors down his arms.

Daryl wrapped his arms around her as if he could help hold her together but he could not bring himself to lie to her again, it was not okay. Her shaking felt like there was an earthquake inside of her and Daryl could not think of any way to stop the damages it was surely going to cause.

"I don't know them." Beth finally whispered though chattering teeth as she turned to bury her face in his neck. "I'll never know them."

Daryl's arms tightened around her at the words and he was just about to remind her that maybe one day she would, but only the risk of having the others hear about the memories stopped him. He was sure that Beth would not want the others to find out about them this way. Daryl was at a complete loss of what to say but thankfully at that moment Michonne spoke, her quiet voice filling the silent room.

"Andrea was kind and stubborn." Daryl turned to her in time to see Michonne shake her head while she stared down at her hands. "She was tough. She brought me back to myself."

Beth's breathing was still rough but Daryl thought her trembling had lessened so he nodded for Michonne to continue. Before she got the chance Rick spoke from beside him, leaning closer across the gap that Beth had left on the couch.

"Lori, my wife-" he paused to draw in a ragged breath and Daryl could see the pain it caused him just to say her name. "She was brave and she kept me on my toes. And when she smiled-" seemingly at a loss for words Rick trailed off into silence but it did not last very long before Carl began to speak.

"She sacrificed herself so Judith could live." the boy's voice was barely more than a whisper but he kept going as if he too could see how much Beth needed to hear these things no matter how hard they were to say. "She really loved you Beth and if she could I know she would say thank you for all you've done for Judith."

At the name of the child Beth's trembling reduced to a sporadic shake as Carl whispered, "For all of us."

XxX

Their words sooth her slowly, the description of each person helping her get her breathing under control. Still Beth did not trust herself to open her eyes and she kept them squeezed shut as she huddled against Daryl's chest. She had never been so grateful for him as she was in that moment because Beth did not think that she could have faced the dead alone. With his arms wrapped around her he kept her rooted to the present even as everyone around them relieved the past for her.

The smallest part of her mind whispered to her that he was still healing and she needed to be careful but Beth's own pain shoved the thought aside although she did make sure not to press against his wound even as she pressed herself closer to his chest.

Beth thought she was getting herself under control, that the attack was almost over, when someone said the name of her father. Her breathing sped up at the sound and she dimly realized that she let out a whimper before she wound her arms tighter around Daryl.

The back of her mind registered a soft thud that sounded as if someone was kneeling beside them and Beth thought she heard people whispering her name but sound was suddenly mumbled like she had shoved cotton in her ears. She had not realized how unprepared she was to hear her father included in this list of the dead, perhaps because unlike everyone else they were telling her about she actually had a flickering memory of his face. Beth whimpered again and her hands curled into fists around Daryl's t-shirt. Slowly the mumbling faded and sound rushed back at her painfully.

"Beth? Beth can you hear me?" at the sound of her sister's voice beside her Beth reacted on instinct, unclawing one of her hands from Daryl's shirt to shoot it out in the direction of the voice. In seconds her sister's hands were wrapping around her own, clutching her as tightly as she was clinging to Daryl.

It was only with both of them anchoring her to the earth that when someone asked if she wanted them to continue that Beth was able to nod.

XxX

Daryl was not sure how long they sat whispering words of the dead to Beth but by the time everyone finally fell silent his legs had long since gone numb under her weight. Her breathing had returned to normal near the end and she manged to actually look at Sasha when she briefly described Bob to her. People began to leave soon after that, the atmosphere in the house too heavy for many of them to deal with. Some had tried to stay of course, Maggie and Carol hovered around Beth like birds as if they thought their presences would help to calm her. In the end they only left because she declared she was going to try to get some sleep. Even Daryl was surprised when she hugged them both briefly before retreating down the hallway.

The others drifted off to other parts of the house but Daryl waited a little while longer before heading to his room. He had wanted to give Beth a few minutes alone to collect her thoughts. He was not even truthfully expecting for her to be in his room yet, she usually waited until everyone else was asleep before coming over, but when he opened his bedroom door there she sat, huddled up in the center of his bed with her knees drawn tight to her chest.

She didn't look up at the sound of the door opening and Daryl shut it behind him quickly with a click before walking to her with his hunter's tread as if he somehow might startle her.

Carefully he sank down beside her on the bed, reaching over slowly to wrap his arm around her shoulders. He felt it when she drew in a deep breath and he was still raking his brain for something to say when Beth turned and pressed her face into his chest. Her slim arms wrapped around his waist and Daryl clutched her to him tighter, one hand wrapped around her back and the other buried in her hair as they sat in silence and simply held each other.

XxX

They did not move for a long time. Beth felt as if she should say something, that she should thank Daryl for helping get her through her panic attack but she did not want to break the stillness around them just yet. Beth buried her face into the crook between his neck and his shoulder and breathed deep as she tried to remind herself that everything was okay now.

She might not remember the people they had lost ever again, she had no control over the flashes of memories she got after all. Beth could not pick and choose what memories she got to have back. But at least now she knew about all the people who had affected her life. At the very least now she knew their names.

Daryl turned his face against her hair before he pressed a feather light kiss to her forehead and Beth smiled slightly into his neck as she realized she was wrong. She had a lot more than just the names of the dead. With Daryl around, and her sister and everyone else, she had enough of the dead left to know them. They were all carried inside the hearts of the ones they had left behind, the ones Beth had almost left behind too.

Beth dipped her head so that her ear was pressed against Daryl's heart and in each thudding beat she could swear she felt the love of everyone who was gone and all the people who still remained. Herself included.


	17. Chapter 17

"Carl can have his room back."

Judging by the slow reactions from the others at the table starting the morning off with such news hadn't been the best of ideas. They probably should have waited until the others were more awake but Daryl had just wanted to get it over with. Like ripping off a band-aid he figured it was best to just get the news out there before he had too long to over think the repercussions.

"Why?" Carl asked, tipping his sheriff's hat back to look across the table at Daryl curiously.

Beth slipped her hand into his under the table and Daryl squeezed it gratefully as she admitted in a far calmer voice than his, "I'm staying in Daryl's room."

Even though she had been sleeping beside him for the last month hearing her say it out loud still took his breath away. They had been talking about telling the others for the last few nights. Beth felt guilty that Carl had to share a room with Rick when his old room was just sitting there empty after he had given it to her without a second thought. They had agreed that it just wasn't fair to him, and truthfully Daryl didn't think it was fair to them. Beth didn't deserve to hide where she slept like it was something to be ashamed of. Nothing had happened between them in that bed, well nothing but one kiss. Although Daryl wouldn't have minded if more happened he was not willing to push her. When she was ready, if she was ready, they could have more. Until then Daryl would wait for her. But in the meantime he would not let them hide whatever was growing between them like it was a dirty secret.

Michonne was the first one to react but she just eyed Daryl with an annoyingly smug look before going back to her breakfast. Morgan cast a long look between him and Beth before shrugging and mumbling something into his cup. Before Daryl could work out his sentence Carl was speaking.

"Cool." he paused to take a bite of bread before mumbling around his mouthful of food. "Thanks Beth."

Daryl saw her smile at him endearingly from the corner of his eye but his attention was caught by Rick who was looking between him and Beth and nodding thoughtfully. No one said anything else about them as they finished eating in a silence that was just tense enough to make Daryl curl his fingers tighter around Beth's while they ate. He had expected more of an uproar from the others but it seemed that Beth and his relationship had not been as subtle as he had thought.

XxX

Beth felt a little bad about slipping out of the house early and leaving Daryl to deal with whatever aftermath she had left behind. She had thought everyone seemed to be fairly accepting of their news but she was worried that they would say something to Daryl now that she was not there to intervene. But she knew that he could take care of himself and besides they had both agreed that there was one person who needed to hear about this news from her.

"Maggie wait up!" Beth cried out as she spotted her sister a house down and she ran around the few people already heading to their posts for the day who eyed her curiously as she approached her sister.

"Hey Beth." Maggie grinned that increasingly familiar smile at her that Beth was just beginning to manage to return. She did not try to return her smile now, however, as she gathered her courage and blurted out.

"I'm moving in with Daryl. Into his room." Beth took a deep breath as she watched her sister, still not knowing how to navigate this relationship and how she was about to react. She thought it would be better to just get it out in the open and not try to dance around it. "I wanted you to hear it from me." she explained softly as Maggie looked at her with wide startled eyes.

They fell into silence for a moment while Beth waited breathlessly for her sister's reaction. She felt the sudden nearly overpowering urge for her sister to approve of this, to be happy for her and Daryl, but at the same time she felt a sense that it wouldn't stop her even if Maggie was upset with it.

"Okay." Maggie nodded after a moment, her smile firmly back in place as she looked at Beth. "Thank you for telling me."

Beth's own mouth dipped into a frown, she had honestly been anticipating a very different reaction. Perhaps she had been wrong and the others in the group had known about her and Daryl being together before she had been taken. No one seemed to be very surprised about their current sleeping arrangement and it was throwing off everything Beth had thought she had known about their relationship.

"You're not mad?" Beth checked cautiously, still unable to read her sister's moods.

Maggie shook her head. "I'm not mad." she confirmed. "Daryl is a good man." she whispered, looking at Beth intently. "I know he'll treat you right."

Beth nodded in agreement, she already knew that. Even when she had met the group for the first time that she remembered she had always felt inexplicably drawn to Daryl. There was never any question in her mind that he would treat he unkindly but for some reason having Maggie tell her that made her feel strangely happy while also pulling a sudden thought into her head.

"Did Daddy like him?" Beth asked curiously. Some part of her suddenly desperately needed to know if the father she barely remembered had liked the man she was now with.

Her sister paused to think her answer over which reassured Beth more than any quick yes or no would have. "I'm not sure he did at first. I'm not sure any of us did at first." Maggie grinned at her statement and even Beth managed the faintest of smiles at that. She knew that Daryl was a tough man to be close to but being close to him was well worth it.

"But I think Daddy really respected Daryl. I think they both respected each other." Maggie shrugged as she continued. "I really do think Daddy liked him in the end. We're all family Beth. No matter how much he might not have wanted to be at first Daryl became part of that family."

Beth nodded thoughtfully as a sudden whim occurred to her at the mention of family. "Why don't you and Glenn come to dinner at our house tonight?" she asked shyly. "We should spend more time together." She did not say what she really meant, that she ought to get to know her sister a little bit better. They were family after all and it was far past the time that Beth started acting like that. Hearing about the father they had lost and the disaster of a dinner last week had made her realize how little time she might have with these people.

"I'd like that." Maggie smiled. "We'll be there."

XxX

Beth had gone to tell her sister about them moving in together and everyone else had left to their own jobs until the only two people left in the house were Daryl and Rick. He could feel the other man wanted to say something but even as Daryl finished cleaning up the mess from breakfast the man had yet to talk. Daryl was about to leave the room in frustration when he finally spoke.

"I know it ain't my business." Rick began causing Daryl's skin to prickle. Nothing good ever came out of a sentence that started like that. "But are you and Beth being safe?" Rick seemed to find it very hard to look Daryl in the eye all of a sudden as he mumbled. "You two are using protection right?"

The meaning of his words hit him then and Daryl felt himself straighten as if he was preparing for a fight. In the back of his mind he reminded himself that Rick was just trying to look out for them, he was trying to protect them from the heartache he had gone through after Lori. But the bigger part of him was incensed that Rick thought the relationship he had with Beth was only about sex.

"It ain't like that at all." Daryl muttered, barely able to keep the anger out of his voice. He wanted to keep talking, to tell Rick that even if he and Beth never kissed again he would be okay with it. What he felt for Beth outshone any physical need or desire he might have. Not trusting himself not to say something he would later regret Daryl simply scoffed before turning to leave the room.

He could feel Rick's eyes burning on his back before he whispered, "What happened between you two out there?"

Daryl stumbled to a stop at the question, it was one that no one had really tried to ask him before. After Terminus they had seen the desperation that had fueled him to find Beth but he thought most of them had just chalked it up to guilt. That Daryl felt obligated to rescue her because he had been the last person she had been with. That had been part of it of course, but only a small part. Daryl had needed to find Beth not just because he needed her, but because he had only just started to believe her that there were still good people out there. With her gone it made it so much harder to see that. Besides, he could not stand to look at anyone for to long because all he felt was guilt that Beth was not there to see them too when she had been the one of the two of them to truly believe they would ever find the others again.

After the hospital, after they thought she was dead, the group had started to realize that the reasons they thought Daryl was looking for her so intently were wrong. But by that point it was to late to ask what had gone on between him and Beth in their time alone because after the hospital no one felt like making Daryl suffer anymore by reliving the past. Even though Daryl could not remember much about the time shortly following Grady he knew that he been pretty obvious about his affections for Beth in how distraught he had been after they lost her.

But now that he was getting the chance to tell someone else what happened out there, how she was the only thing stopping him from giving up, how she had given him some faith in the world, Daryl found that he could not put it all into words. It was one thing to tell Beth about it, she had been there even if she didn't remember it yet, it was another thing entirely to tell someone who would never understand how the bitter taste of moonshine could be laced with both regret and guilt. How the scent of fire and ashes could stir up hope in the days to come.

"We burned everything down." Daryl finally admitted lamely, casting a quick look over his shoulder at Rick as he tried to let him know that no matter how hard he tried Daryl would never be able to get anyone else to understand what had happened between him and Beth out there. There were some things that just could not be explained with words and that time was one of them.

XxX

Beth leaned back on her elbows, the grass beneath her tickling her bare arms. Daryl sat stiffly beside her as if he was not used to being outside simply for the enjoyment of feeling the sun on his skin. Which, Beth supposed, might have been the case.

They shared the same day off now after Daryl's injury and Beth switching hers with Lisa at the clinic. Even though her and Daryl already spent most of their days (and their nights) together getting to be outside in the early afternoon with him was a treat Beth hadn't known she was missing out on. She had already moved her few belongings into the room that was now _theirs_ and they had decided to spend some time appreciating the sunny day outside.

"Are you nervous about going back to the fence tomorrow?" Beth asked softly, causing Daryl to look down at her with a frown.

He shook his head as he squinted his eyes to see her better in the sunlight. "No. It's what I'm used to."

"Standing guard?" Beth asked, her brow furrowing. From what little she remembered of their time at the prison and from what Daryl himself had told her she had always thought that him being on watch was a relatively new thing. He had always been one of the people to go out on supply runs and to do the dangerous tasks. He had told her one night he thought the only reason he had been put on guard duty in Alexandria was because Douglas had not trusted him enough to put him out in the open. When she had asked him why he had only said he hadn't been in control when the group had arrived. He hadn't elaborated as to why but Beth had a feeling she knew the reason. That she was the reason.

"Keeping people safe." Daryl grunted, looking away from her to stare at the ground. Beth smiled at him as he pulled a few blades of grass from the earth thoughtfully and muttered. "I'm going huntin' tomorrow morning too."

Beth wasn't surprised by this, he had confided to her the other night how much he hated being cooped up behind the walls. How he really wanted to get out and be free again. She had not needed him to tell her though, she had seen for herself how restless he became with each passing day. Most people looked at the walls like they were a gift, like they would not be able to live without them. But with each passing day Daryl glared at them like they only existed to keep him trapped.

Before Beth could think of anything to say about his upcoming hunting trip (she was considering teasing him about the stockpile of arrows he had made while he had been delegated to bed rest) when Daryl spoke again, the slightest tremor of nerves in his voice as he asked, "Wanna go with me?"

Her eyes flickered to his in surprise at the request. Of all the things she had thought he might have wanted to bring on his hunt herself had not been one of them.

"Daryl I don't know how-" Beth had several things she felt like she could list after that phrase but the most important one to her at the moment was hunting. Sure she had manged to keep herself and Morgan fed during their weeks on the road but that had been different. The few rabbits and the squirrel she had caught had all but ran over her boots. Going out beyond the walls with Daryl, who held a heavy crossbow like it was an extension of his body, that was something she could not even imagine attempting.

"You do." Daryl cut off her protests, his voice suddenly more intent than she had ever heard it as he whispered. "Somewhere inside you, you do know how Beth."

His words stirred something inside of her and she thought back to how she had known how to drive a car without remembering learning to drive, how she had known what walkers were without being told. There were some things that either her mind or her body just knew how to do without needing to be reminded, maybe hunting would turn out to be one of them. And if not...well she'd have a good teacher.

"Okay." Beth whispered, shoving away the nerves roiling in her belly as the word left her lips. Daryl's shoulders sagged at the word as the tension left his body and Beth was slightly amused by how much he had wanted her to agree to go with him. Dimly she realized this would be the first time she had been outside of the walls since she had arrived but she found that she was not afraid. In fact she was excited to be outside of the confines of the town. Even if she didn't remember how to hunt like she was expecting at least it would be nice to see the horizon without a wall blocking it. Plus she would get to be alone with Daryl which was an offer she just could not pass up.

They sat in a comfortable silence as people began to trickle out onto the streets as their jobs ended for the day. Beth watched them walk by curiously, she was beginning to know more and more of them by name although she truly never talked to the others in the town unless she had to. Well except for the children. Beth always felt a pull to share a kind word whenever one of the children in town passed her.

A group of three were headed in their direction now and Beth lifted her hand in a wave that the youngest girl returned with vigor. A grin was beginning to form on Beth's lips while she watched as the older boy beside her crouched and held still while the girl clamored up onto his back while the boy on his other side laughed.

Daryl turned towards the sound curiously but Beth herself barely heard it as a memory shook lose in her mind.

Although she was looking at the children she was not seeing them as she whispered, "It's a serious piggyback."

XxX

Her half whispered words hit him like a punch to the stomach. Daryl knew what she meant of course, there was only one thing that she could be talking about. Beth turned to face him with wide eyes but before she could tell him about the memory that he already knew Daryl scrambled to his feet.

The strangest sense of near giddiness filled him as he reached down for Beth's hands and pulled her up, ignoring her exclamation of confusion. It had been so long that one of the memories she got back were about him that Daryl could not stop his sudden euphoria as he turned his back to her and crouched slightly.

"Hop on." he grunted not looking back at her.

"What?" Beth asked her voice uncertain as if she had misheard him.

Daryl looked over his shoulder at her then and her blue eyes watched him wearily as he repeated. "Hop on." He bent his knees to better absorb the shock of her weight even as Beth shook her head in protest.

"Daryl you're injured." she reminded him as she crossed her arms over her chest with a frown although Daryl could see the temptation in her eyes.

"I'm healed enough to go back to the wall tomorrow so c'mon Greene." Daryl turned to face the street again as he joked. "It's a serious piggyback."

He could practically feel her hesitating behind him but Daryl refused to turn around and look. He felt that if he moved again she would never agree to do this, to recreate this moment she had only just remembered. This was not like the first time, when she was hurt and moving to slowly. He had carried her then because he thought it would help ease her pain but he wanted to carry her now because Daryl thought it might ease some of his.

After what seemed like hours Daryl felt her hands come up to rest timidly on his shoulders. The breath he hadn't realized he had been holding left him as Beth tightened her hands around him and jumped onto his back. His hands caught her under her thighs and pulled her higher up on his back as she gasped beside his ear. The nearly healed wound in his side protested faintly but Daryl had dealt with far worse, he pushed the thought of it aside as he took a timid step forward, almost afraid that Beth was going to jump down with the motion. When she didn't move except to clutch his arms tighter he began to walk in a wide slow circle around the house. He had no particular destination in mind but with Beth's arms wrapped around him and her breathless giggle in his ear Daryl wasn't about to just put her down.

XxX

Daryl walked around the house three times before he finally let her down on the steps of back porch. By that point they were both breathless, him from the exertion of carrying her around the house, and Beth simply from giggling at the whole thing. Even though her brief memory had shown her he had carried her this way before Beth could barely believe it was happening. She would have never expected Daryl to act in such a carefree manner.

Beth found that she liked this side of him, but she had yet to see a side of him that she did not like. Even when he was brooding or sulky Beth was no less drawn to him. She wondered if that was what had spurned them being together in the first place, that inexplicable desire to be beside each other developing into something more pronounced.

From her perch on the porch step Beth was eye level with Daryl and for a moment they simply stood and looked at each other as their breathing returned to normal. Shyly, almost as if he was afraid of what she would do, Daryl took the smallest of steps towards her. Beth heard it when the toes of his boots hit the edge of the steps below her but she barely noticed because at that moment Daryl rose his hands to place them cautiously on her waist. There was still more space between them then when they slept at night but Beth felt like this was the closest she had ever been to Daryl. There was no cover of darkness to hide behind like a curtain as his eyes flickered from her eyes to her mouth so quickly she almost missed it. After everything they had gone through Beth no longer felt like there was anything stopping her from leaning forward and kissing him so that was exactly what she did.

His fingers curled into the flesh of her hips at the first brush of their lips and Beth could feel the warm pad of his thumb on her skin where her shirt had bunched up. As his mouth moved over hers she nervously ran her hands up his neck to tangle into his hair. As she did so Daryl suddenly wound his arms around her back and pulled her down the empty step that had been between them. Beth nearly fell into his chest but his arms kept her up even though the toes of her sneakers were barely brushing the ground.

The breath that they had just gotten back was soon gone and finally Beth pulled away, her heart leaping into her throat as she looked up at him. Beth had known for a while now that this moment was coming, that she would admit to him that she already knew about them. They had been a couple and now, well now she was ready for them to be one again. Reminding herself to be brave she drew a deep breath.

"Daryl I-" before Beth could finish her thought the door to the back porch opened and Glenn's cheerful voice cut through her words.

"Come help us with dinner lovebirds!" Beth felt her mouth dip into a frown of disappointment even as Daryl rolled his eyes while Glenn called out to them with a laugh. "You invited us now you have to deal with us!"

XxX

Daryl did not think he had ever eaten a meal in such cheerful spirits. He did not know if it was because he still had the taste of Beth's kiss on his lips or if the good moods of everyone around the table were contagious but even he had chuckled a few times at Carl's exuberant retelling of his day. Maggie and Beth kept up a quiet conversation across the table from him but every so often they would turn to pull someone else into it. Daryl spent half the meal avoiding Glenn's smug grin every time he looked over to catch Beth's eye but even his teasing didn't diminish the joy around the table.

They had barely finished cleaning up dinner when Daryl suddenly found himself alone in the kitchen with Maggie. He managed to catch Beth's eye as she cast a slightly worried look over her shoulder at him as Glenn led her from the room. Before Daryl could even begin to guess what was happening Maggie stepped in front of him.

He looked down at her with his brows raised, waiting for her to tell him whatever it was she felt she had to say. He knew by now how the Greenes worked. It was best to just let them say what they felt they had to and then go on with things. Daryl wasn't exactly sure what Maggie was going to say but she had already had her chances to play big sister and warn him away from Beth so if she thought that she could do that now then-

"Beth told me she moved into your room." Maggie interrupted his thoughts before Daryl could settle on what he would do if she tried to tell him to stay away from Beth. That was just something that was never going to happen no matter who disapproved of them.

"I know this is the part where I'm supposed to give you the big sister lecture about how if you hurt her I'll hurt you but I don't think that's necessary for us right?" Maggie reached forward then to rest her hand on his shoulder in what he was sure she thought was a comforting motion but just made Daryl twitch at the contact.

Daryl shifted uncomfortably as Maggie dropped her hand from his arm with an apologetic smile.

"Not because I can't kick your ass, because I can." she eyed him intently and Daryl nodded slowly, Merle had told him about the choke hold she'd put on him in a tone that had almost sounded respectful. "But because I know you'd never hurt Beth."

She smiled at him and turned away, clearly having said what she needed to and not expecting him to say anything in return which is what Daryl would normally do. But for some reason he felt inclined to say something, to make her understand that hurting Beth was something that he would never even consider doing. He would spend whatever time he had left making sure nothing and nobody hurt Beth, himself included. Maggie was nearly out of the room when Daryl spoke.

"I won't." she looked over her shoulder at him and Daryl shrugged, finding it very hard to look at her as he whispered. "I won't hurt her."

"I know." he looked up in time to catch the thoughtful look Maggie was casting him before she turned and began to walk out of the room.

Daryl followed her out into the room where the others sat around, Rick was laughing as Morgan tried to teach Carl how to play chess. Michonne sat on Rick's other side, shaking her head at their antics although she could not hide the faint smile on her face. Daryl noticed immediately how close together Rick and her were sitting and when she caught his eye he made sure to return the smug knowing look she'd given him that morning. Michonne only rolled her eyes at him but Daryl noticed with an absurd amount of pride that she didn't bother moving.

Glenn sat across the room from them, Maggie joining him in the armchair as they spoke to Beth who sat on the floor next to Judith dutifully stacking her pyramid of plastic cups. With a sense of ease at no longer needing to think about how his actions were perceived Daryl leaned against the wall behind her and after a moment Beth shifted slightly so that her back was pressed up against his drawn up legs.

Daryl didn't bother paying too much attention to the conversation going on around him, his fingers idly playing with the strands of Beth's ponytail where it hung over his knees. She would lean forward every so often to stack Judith's pyramid and her hair would slip through his fingers like strings.

"When's the next time you're going hunting Daryl?" the sound of his name made Daryl look over at Glenn who was looking at him curiously. Because it was one of his family and not one of the other townspeople Daryl knew that Glenn was not asking so that he had an idea of when he could have fresh meat on his table but because he knew how much Daryl preferred being outside.

"Tomorrow." Daryl grunted, his fingers tugging on Beth's hair again as he thought about how she had wound her own fingers though his hair earlier on the porch. Maybe he could figure out a way to work in a kiss on their hunt too. The kiss they'd shared on the back porch had left Daryl dizzy with the need for more. The giddiness of her remembering the piggyback he had once given her had worn down his self control about not touching her but it had proved to be a good thing when she had kissed him back.

"Don't go too far." Rick's soft voice pulled Daryl from his increasingly dangerous thoughts. He turned his head to watch as Rick eyed him wearily. He knew the other man was just making a request, not an order like he would with many of them. "Not until you know how healed your body is. Not yet."

Daryl was still nodding consent when Beth spoke softly. "Don't worry Rick. I'll make sure he doesn't wander off."

"You're going with him?" Michonne asked in surprise that Daryl knew had nothing to do with Beth going hunting but the fact that he was taking someone hunting at all. It was common knowledge that he preferred to hunt alone, other people just slowed him down or they were too loud and scared off the game. Beth was different though, he had learned with some surprise the first time he tried to teach her how to hunt that her tread could be even lighter than his when she tried hard enough.

Beth looked over at Michonne, clearly confused by her tone of surprise but suddenly all thoughts of hunting were put on hold as an increasingly familiar voice joined their conversation.

"Beth!"

Daryl's eyes followed the voice to where Judith was frowning at Beth, looking as if she was put out that she was no longer playing with her. His eyes flickered from her to the part of Beth's face that he could see as she turned her gaze back to Judith. He saw the corners of her mouth begin to turn up in a smile before her hand suddenly dropped the cup she'd been holding.

As it clattered against the other cups Daryl suddenly felt the muscles in Beth's back tense up where she was pressed against his legs and before he had a chance to wonder what it meant she suddenly let out a cry of anguish and rose her hands to clutch her head.

XxX

She was suddenly overcome by a blinding streak of agony that felt like it was trying to crack her skull into two pieces. Beth had curled over herself so her face was pressed into the carpet and the back part of her mind heard the sounds of the people in the room calling out to her but she ignored them as the pain began to ebb leaving something else in its place.

Her eyes snapped open but she did not see the cream colored carpet she was kneeling on. Instead Beth watched a slide show race across her eyes as she felt like a locked door in her mind had suddenly opened to a key she had not even realized she had been holding.

She nearly forgot to breath as she watched the memories flashing before her eyes, each one clicking place something in her brain. She could hear the sounds of the little girl before her, only much littler then, as she screamed and cried about being born into this terrible world. She could remember wrapping her in a work shirt because they had no other clothes for her. Beth saw image after image of the child, the girl she had loved like she was her own daughter even though she had never once been so brash as to consider herself her mother.

She saw bottles and diapers and the oddest and saddest collection of toys presented to the child who accepted each one like they were made out of gold. She remembered pressing cold clothes to her tiny body as a fever burned its way through her, singing her favorite songs to her softly in the hopes that her voice would help diminish the child's cries. Beth could remember the feeling of the first time Judith wrapped her tiny fist around one of her fingers. She remembered so many things about the child that for a long moment it took all that she had to keep herself conscious where she knelt.

By the time the concerned words of everyone else in the room reached her one memory had managed to shove its way past everything and it hung so heavily in her mind that Beth could swear she felt it like a physical weight as she tried to straighten up from the carpet.

_She was on a bus full of frantic people, the sounds of gunfire not drowning out their cries of fright, as Beth tried to push herself past them. She had not meant to get on the bus at all but she had been caught in the wave of the mob as they shoved themselves inside. They were all scrambling into seats and Beth ended up having to half crawl over the backs of the seats to reach the doors._

_Even through her own panic she could only focus on one thing, the children weren't on the bus. They all had jobs to do and no matter what had just happened, what was still happening, she still had her job. She looked after the kids, she looked after Judith. None of them were on the bus and until they were Beth wouldn't be either._

_She nearly fell down the steps in relief, stumbling on the broken concrete to regain her footing. The gunfire and screaming was even louder outside of the confines of the bus and Beth almost didn't hear the woman calling out frantically after her._

_"Beth! Where are you going?!"_

_Beth turned wildly, strands of her ponytail hitting her in the face with the motion as she scanned the burning rubble that she had once called home._

_Her feet were already starting their sprint towards the cell blocks when she cried over her shoulder,"I have to find Judith!"_

As the memory ended Beth realized that the weight she was feeling was not the guilt of her failed attempt to locate the child she loved but Daryl's hand pressed against her back. She barely had the presence of mind to squeeze his arm in reassurance before she was pushing past him to the child seated on the floor before her.

The only word Beth could form as she wrapped the child up into her arms was her name.

XxX

As Beth tucked her head next to Judith's Daryl felt the fear that had been clenching his heart since Beth cried out slowly loosen its iron grip. Behind her he could see the concern on everyone's faces slowly blending into confusion but he could still feel the pressure of her hand on his arm. He could tell that the tears leaking from her eyes to land on Judith's blonde hair were that of joy, not sadness.

Daryl could only think of one thing that would have made Beth react in such a manner but it was still with an air of caution that he slid closer to where Beth huddled around her on the floor. Carefully he placed his hand of her back again, sparing a quick look to Rick who was watching with his eyes wide in concern as Beth sobbed against his daughter's hair.

"Beth." Daryl whispered, suddenly overcome with the need to look her in the eye. He needed to see for himself if what he thought had just happened was true. If Beth really had remembered something about Judith like he thought. Silently he thought it must have been quite the memory because he had seen her remember something about Carl in his presence and she had not reacted so violently then.

At the sound of her name Beth rose her head from where her face had been pressed into the child's hair, Judith now tugging on the braid in her ponytail seemingly quite content to be held in Beth's arms, to meet Daryl's eyes. She didn't say a word but in that moment she didn't have to. Daryl could see for himself the shadow in her eyes. The shadow of the Beth they had all once known.

Beth shifted Judith into one arm before reaching forward and pulling him into the hug she had on the child. Daryl wrapped his arms around both of them in a state of shock as he looked around at the confused faces in the room. Maggie looked like she was torn between freaking out and crying and Glenn was sitting beside her and looking nearly the same although he looked slightly calmer about the whole thing. Michonne's face was unreadable which it usually was in times she felt out of place or unsure of the situation. Carl's look of worry was slowly melting away the longer he watched Beth holding his sister and Rick was watching them with his eyebrows drawn in concentration like he was trying to put together a puzzle. Morgan was the only one who did not seem surprised by what was going on and he met Daryl's eyes with the briefest ghost of a grin. As Daryl watched them all he tightened his arms around Beth, Judith's babbling in his ear, as he realized that it was time the other's knew about the pieces of Beth's life that were starting to return to her.


	18. Chapter 18

Given the turbulent state of both her emotions and her mind Beth was probably more surprised than anyone when she stopped crying after only a few minutes. Even as her tears drew to a halt she did not relinquish her tight grip on Judith nor pull away from the warmth of Daryl's arms. Beth would have been more than content to have stayed in that position for quite some time as she silently marveled over what she had just remembered but after a few moments she heard the sound of someone whispering her name cautiously.

"Beth...are you alright? What just happened?"

Beth lifted her head from Judith's hair to turn and face her sister's worried look. Her brows were knitted together in concern and she looked to be sitting on the edge of her seat. In fact Maggie's hands were curled into the cushion of the armchair as if she was physically holding herself in place.

Turning her head slightly Beth met Daryl's eyes, unsurprised to find him watching her in understanding. Of course he had already worked out what had happened, he was far too observant for his own good. At the silent question in her eyes Daryl nodded once slowly before dropping his arm from her back.

Turning back to face the others in the room Beth found that she could not tear her eyes away from the child in her arms as she whispered to no one in particular, "I remember her."

The silence that fell upon the room at her words felt like time had stood still. With the exception of Daryl Beth did not think that anyone else was breathing until suddenly the room exploded.

"Are you serious?" Carl cried out happily, sliding off the couch to sit beside them on the floor, a smile the likes of which Beth had never seen on his face.

"How is that possible?" she barely heard Michonne's quiet whisper to Rick but neither of them had the answers as Rick shook his head in shock. Morgan simply grinned at her as he leaned back in his chair like a physical weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

Glenn was looking at her with his mouth moving silently like he had a million questions and was trying to decide which one to ask first and next to him Maggie was blinking furiously as if she was fighting back tears. Seeming as if she was trying to distract herself she whispered, "Do you remember anybody else?"

Beth shook her head sadly as Judith tugged on the braid in her hair. "No. Just Judith."

They both tried to ignore the look of pain on each other's faces before Beth turned back to Daryl who had been watching the room silently. Once again he seemed to be able to read her intentions in her gaze because he nodded before reaching forward to rest his hand on her shoulder. With the comfort of knowing he was beside her Beth drew a deep breath before she admitted, "But I've been remembering little things for a while now."

XxX

Daryl wasn't sure who looked the most shocked by this new information but he did not miss the way Michonne's eyes flitted to him immediately after Beth's confession. He forced himself not to shift under her gaze as he turned his attention to how everyone else was handling this news.

"You've remembered things?" Glenn asked in shock as he looked around the room as if he was trying to decide who this was new information for. "Like what?"

Daryl squeezed Beth's shoulder in encouragement as she shrugged. "Just little things really. Mostly when I'm sleeping." As Judith began to fuss a little in her arms Beth lowered her carefully back to the floor where she happily picked up two of her cups. Raising her voice to be heard over the sound of the plastic hitting each other Beth continued, "This is the first time I've remembered so much at once."

Sucking in a deep breath Daryl closed his eyes briefly as he tried to make sense of that sentence in his mind. If she had remembered several things about Judith, which of course he had known she had to have because of the way she reacted, what did that mean about the rest of her memories? Were they going to come back too?

"How long has this been happening?" Rick asked, his eyes tight on them. Daryl dropped his hand from Beth's shoulder to rest in the middle of her back as he felt her spine straighten at the questions that despite their concerns almost sounded like accusations. His own skin was beginning to prickle and he could feel his muscles tightening the way they always did before a fight.

"Pretty much since I got here." Beth admitted, her voice only wavering at the last word.

Daryl caught the looks of hurt flashing across people's faces and he found he could not stay quiet any longer. He felt the sudden need to defend Beth for not telling them even though she didn't owe it to anyone to confide in them about her memories.

"She didn't know what most of them were at first. Most of them are only seconds." he would have kept on explaining but Maggie cut him off.

"You knew?" her voice was thick with hurt but Daryl only felt the slightest twinge of guilt as he nodded. It wasn't his fault that Beth had chosen him to confide in over her.

"I didn't want to get your hopes up." Beth admitted in a rush, her fingers curling into the carpet as she continued. "Just in case the memories never made sense or if they stopped coming...I didn't want to get your hopes up."

Even as she said it Daryl felt his own hopes begin to raise as the knowledge of what had just occurred began to truly sink in. Beth had remembered Judith, completely judging by her reaction and her statement. And if she had remembered her well...she had already began to have memories of him. In fact he was one of the things that Beth remembered the most about (not that he was keeping track of course) so it would stand to reason that if Beth was going to keep remembering things she might remember him next.

Just the very thought of Beth understanding everything that had occurred between them when they were alone out in the woods made his breath leave him in a rush. Daryl effectively tuned out the voices of everyone else in the room as he imagined what it would be like to once again have Beth look at him and know how cruel of a man he could be (Daryl still felt a shiver of shame whenever he thought about his drunken rage at her during that silly game of 'I never' she had all but begged him to play) and still think he was a good person despite all that.

A small voice in Daryl's mind whispered that it was selfish to want Beth to remember him when he was still beside her and not to want her to remember her father or any of the other members of their family that they had lost. But as he watched Beth take Judith's tiny hand in her own, the way he had seen her do a hundred times before, any thought of guilt left his mind.

Daryl always tried to put other people before himself. He had been told since he was a child that he was nothing, that he did not matter, and as such he had acted that way. He had always done what Merle wanted or what Rick said because that was what he thought he was good for. He rarely let himself do the things that he wanted for the sole purpose of him wanting to do them because he always wanted to put everyone else's needs before his own.

But not this time.

This time Daryl was going to put his own needs first. And what he needed was for Beth to remember him. So no matter how selfish it was, he hoped she remembered him next.

XxX

Everyone seemed to be as confused about the way her memories were returning to her as she was. Beth tried to ignore the looks of hurt on both Maggie's and Morgan's faces for not confiding in them. She felt a bit guilty about it but underneath that she felt a shimmer of annoyance that they were focusing on who she had told instead of the fact that she had remembered anything at all.

They were trying to focus on discussing theories of why she remembered the most when she was sleeping but Beth could tell that they were all still brooding on the fact that they were just now hearing about the memories at all. She knew they were happy, of course, that she was remembering things about her past and maybe it was just her imagination but she felt like all of her fears were coming true.

They resented her for not remembering them yet.

"Why did you tell Daryl?" Carl suddenly asked curiously, thankfully drawing Beth from the dark path her mind was heading down.

She blinked at him in surprise before shrugging. "The memories...I wasn't sure if they were real or not. I was really confused and I just wanted to make sure what I was seeing was real." Beth shook her head as she patted down a stray lock of Judith's hair. She forced herself to focus on answering Carl's question and not thinking about the others as she whispered. "I just wanted someone to talk to."

Unfortunately Beth choose that moment to look up and she caught the flash of pain as it crossed her sister's face. And while Beth knew that her memory loss was not in anyway her fault, nor did she feel like she should have to explain who she choose to confide in, she suddenly felt like she should apologize for not telling her sister sooner. But before she could say anything Beth noticed how everyone was looking between her and Daryl with questioning eyes. Beth let out a small puff of annoyance that they were still focusing on this and not trying to figure out how she had suddenly remembered Judith. She felt like they were trying to piece together why she had chosen him out of all of them to confide in even though the most obvious reason was staring them straight in the face.

"It's not that surprising I went to Daryl." Beth protested at their looks of confusion as she shot a look at Daryl over her shoulder. She was going to tell him earlier that she knew about them so she might as well just do it now if it would make everyone stop looking at them with accusations in their eyes. "I mean we were a couple."

XxX

For a moment Daryl was sure that he had misheard her but then he looked up and met Rick's eyes and knew by the look of bafflement on the other man's face that he had heard her correctly.

A million thoughts raced through his mind then but the most surprising thing was the way his heartbeat increased its tempo at hearing Beth say such a thing without a hint of doubt in her voice. Daryl had no idea how that thought had got into her head, he couldn't remember saying anything to her that would make her think that but he must have or she wouldn't have sounded so sure when she said that.

He was so busy trying to figure out why Beth would have ever thought they were a couple that Daryl almost didn't notice that no one in the room was speaking. He realized then that they must have been waiting for him to confirm or deny Beth's statement and for the briefest of seconds Daryl thought about agreeing with her. But even that second of weakness caused him to clench his fists in disgust at himself. He would never want to trick Beth into being with him, ever. So it was with that thought in mind that Daryl tucked his head closer to Beth's, pointedly ignoring everyone else as he spoke as quietly as he could, "Beth...we were never together."

Admitting the words out loud hurt surprisingly more than he had excepted. It felt as if something was squeezing the inside of his chest and when Beth turned her head to look at him with an expression of pure befuddlement the pressure only intensified.

"Of course we were." she whispered in return, her eyes wide on his even as he slowly shook his head no. As much as he had wanted to be they had not been together. "That's the only thing that makes sense Daryl."

He felt a twinge of embarrassment that they were having this conversation in front of the others but Daryl knew that it could not wait. He blocked out the fact that they weren't alone as he tried to see things from her perspective. He'd been trying so hard since she came back to help her remember her past, to remember him, that he had never even considered what these things might seem like to her. Still he could not see how she had come to the conclusion that they had been together so he shook his head at her as he whispered, "What?"

"Daryl...everything I've remembered about you, the way I trusted you from the moment I laid my eyes on you, us being a couple is the only thing that explains everything." Beth insisted, turning her back on the room so that she was facing him fully. Her hand drifted to rest on the hilt of the knife at her hip as she whispered pleadingly, "You even kept my knife after you thought I died. If we weren't a couple, what were we?"

Daryl could not find the words to answer her, to tell her that they had been on their way to being something but even he with his intact memory could not explain it for her. They had been potential, potential for a whole lot of things that he had thought for a while they would never discover. Hell Daryl didn't even know what they were now, he could not even begin to describe what they were then.

He did not deny any of her claims, because how could he when they were all the truth? But it was still with a heavy heart that he whispered, "We weren't a couple."

And maybe it was his imagination but he could have sworn he saw Beth's shoulders sag before she nodded in very bewildered acceptance.

XxX

Thankfully after Daryl had proven one of the few things she had thought to be true to actually be wrong Glenn had asked her to tell them everything she had remembered so far. She had told them with as much detail as she could muster and they must have dissected every single sliver of memory she had gotten twice before people started to retire for the night. Beth was grateful for the distraction though because focusing on the memories kept her from thinking about how wrong she had been about her and Daryl and how that might have changed where she thought they were now.

The more memories she recounted the more everyone seemed to understand how little she actually remembered about her past. As they finally started to realize just what she meant by 'flashes' the more the hurt at not being told until now seemed to ease and with that some of the tension left the room.

It was well into the night when people finally started to head out to bed and they only did that because they were all yawning to much to truly discuss anything at length. Before they had left for their own house both Glenn and Maggie had hugged her.

Her sister had clung to her tightly for a moment as she whispered, "I get why you didn't come to me Beth but I want you to know you can come to me for anything."

Beth was so tired and emotionally drained that all she managed to do was nod in return.

It felt like it took ages for her to finally untangle herself from everyone and retreat to the safety that was her and Daryl's room. She had almost asked Rick if Judith could sleep in there with them that night but she had decided against it at the last second. There would be plenty of time for her to be with the child later and tonight she and Daryl had too many things to discuss.

She sat huddled on the edge of the bed as she waited for him to come to their bedroom. Beth didn't understand how she could have been so wrong about what they had been before. It had made perfect sense to her to imagine they had been a couple before she had been shot, it had explained all of the memories she had of Daryl as well as that instinctive gut feeling she had to trust him. But according to him they had never been together and now Beth had no idea what was going on between them.

As she was mulling all of this over a random thought had occurred to her that she had felt surprisingly pleased about; the kiss that had been her first with Daryl had been his first as well. For some strange reason that knowledge untightened some of the tension in her chest.

The sound of the door opening caused Beth to look up from her feet and she watched as Daryl shut the door behind him almost sheepishly. She supposed that there was no need to beat around the bush so as he closed the distance between them Beth whispered, "I really thought we were together." her fingers curled into the blanket as Daryl stopped in his tracks a foot from her. "You know before." she rose one hand to wave in front of the scar on her forehead, watching as Daryl's eyes followed her movements with a look of sadness.

"We weren't." he mumbled before sighing and approaching her slowly as if he was afraid the knowledge he had just given her was going to cause her to run screaming from the room. She scooted over so that her side was pressed against the wall to give him room to sit down on the bed beside her. For a long moment they sat in silence as Beth tried to think up the words for her questions. Before she could however Daryl spoke again.

"I wanted to be."

Slowly Beth turned her head to face him but Daryl did not look up from the hands he had clenched together in his lap as he whispered. "That funeral home I told you about? That was where I realized that I-"

Daryl trailed off with a grunt of frustration and after a minute of silence Beth leaned over to nudge his shoulder with her own.

"That you what?" she whispered, suddenly feeling her heartbeat speed up as Daryl turned his head to look at her with a gaze similar to that of the first memory she had gotten back of him. All he needed was candlelight reflecting in his eyes and it would have been nearly the exact same expression.

"I'm no good with words." he admitted softly before reaching over to intertwine one of his hands with hers. Beth looked down at their intertwined fingers as she felt some of the tension leave her at the contact. Looking back up at Daryl she was surprised to see that he looked suddenly nervous before he rose his free hand up to brush a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

His gaze flickered from her eyes to her lips like he was asking her for permission and Beth nodded as she scooted slightly closer to him. Slowly Daryl leaned over to kiss her and it was like he was trying to express all the words he couldn't say in that one kiss. And as strange as it seemed Beth felt like she knew exactly what it was he was trying to say. He'd realized at that funeral home that he had wanted to be with her, not like however they had been before but like how they were now with fingers intertwined and mouths pressed together. He'd realized there what she had learned here, that as strange as their pairing might seem to other people, together they just made sense.

XxX

When he woke up a familiar weight was pressed against his side. Slowly Daryl opened his eyes and turned his head to see Beth curled up against his chest. A smile rose to his lips unbidden as he realized that now that she no longer felt the need to sneak away in the mornings he could wake up to her everyday.

Daryl couldn't help but silently marvel at the fact that after everything they had been through Beth still wanted to be with him, even though she now knew that their relationship hadn't been what she thought. He had never let himself hope that Beth would truly want to be with him one day and he had to be honest with himself, when Beth had admitted that she thought they had been a couple before Daryl had been terrified that when she learned that they hadn't she would no longer want anything to do with him. That she had only been sleeping beside him because she felt like she had to, like she had owed it to him for some twisted reason.

Daryl had never been more happy to be wrong before.

Beth stirred slightly against his chest and Daryl held his breath in the hopes that she wouldn't wake up just yet. He knew that they needed to get up and moving if they were still planning on going hunting but he wanted just one more minute of stillness with her.

He had been up half the night filled with thoughts of Beth remembering him, of the fact that she was still sleeping beside him even though she hadn't. He had finally come to peace with that sometime in the night. Daryl would be content with Beth remembering everyone but him as long as she stayed by his side. They could be together now. They had their future, maybe they didn't need their past.

Before Daryl could focus anymore on that Beth stirred again and this time she slowly rose her head up from his chest to smile down at him.

Reaching up Daryl brushed some of her tousled hair out of her eyes. Shoving away his thoughts of pasts and futures he whispered, "Ready to go huntin'?"

For a moment Beth's entire body tensed up next to him but before he could even reassure her that they would be safe she nodded.

XxX

For the first time since she had arrived in Alexandria she felt like she could truly breathe. Beth had not realized how closed in the walls had made her feel until she was outside of them. She found she wasn't nervous being outside of the walls for the first time either although she did keep her hand curled over the bone handle of her knife. They had given her a shotgun to use as well but Beth kept that draped over her back at Daryl's orders. He claimed that the meat would taste better if they caught it with his crossbow or a knife. Personally Beth thought that meat was meat but she did not mind having an excuse not to really touch the gun. Even feeling the weight of it pressing against her back made her skin crawl.

"You should let me use the bow." Beth had joked as they were let out through the gate. Daryl had looked at her from the corner of his eye as Beth smiled at him to let him see that she had been joking. She wasn't going to take his weapon away from him out here.

She had been surprised when he had not laughed at her and instead shrugged before agreeing, "Maybe later."

Those were the last words they had spoken as they began to wind themselves through the forest. It had taken Beth a little while before her footsteps became as soundless as Daryl's but she knew when they did because he had looked back over his shoulder at her with a worried expression as if he needed to check to make sure she was still there. The proud look he had given her then had made her nearly beam with pride.

They couldn't have gone more than a quarter of a mile before Daryl had pointed out the tracks of a small animal and Beth had crouched down to look at them with him. He didn't say anything as he stared at her expectantly and after a minute Beth suddenly remembered another forest where she and Daryl had knelt in this same position.

_"The back prints are larger than the front ones see?" Daryl grunted as he tapped his finger in the dirt next to the tracks. Beth knelt next to him and she moved her own finger closer to the tracks as she took in every detail. This was how Daryl had been teaching her to tell the difference in animal tracks, he'd point out one thing and then leave it up to her to figure out the rest and guess which animal it was. The more tracks they found the more often she was right._

_"And five toes on each foot...the tracks are pretty small so...squirrel?" Beth looked up in time to see Daryl cover his mouth with hand before nodding. He hadn't been quick enough to cover the small proud smile on his lips though._

"It's a squirrel." Beth whispered proudly before looking up at Daryl. She didn't tell him she had remembered him teaching her but she could see in his eyes that he knew.

XxX

He wasn't sure if the ease of the tension in his chest was because he was outside of the walls or because Beth was beside him.

Being out in the open, his crossbow heavy in his arms, Daryl truly felt healed for the first time since he had been shot. For him being in the woods was a better medicine than anything the doctors had been giving him.

It helped of course that Beth was with him. The last time he had been hunting he had been looking for Beth, for what he had thought was her ghost but had really been his grief stricken mind's hallucination. He hadn't been hunting since she arrived because for a while there he had been convinced that if he left the walls she would disappear again.

The longer they were out there the more Beth seemed to remember about hunting. Daryl tried to focus on the fact that she was remembering that and he forced himself not ask her if that meant she was remembering him too. Because he knew that the chances were that she was.

He was the one who had taught her to hunt after all. Daryl still remembered the look on her face the morning they woke up, still smelling of the ashes from the house and both a little hungover from the moonshine, when he had thrown his knife next to her on the dirt and grunted at her, "Get up Greene. We're going hunting."

Watching Beth now was like seeing her learn all the things he had taught her but sped up. She didn't ask to use the crossbow again but Daryl noticed how she completely avoided touching the gun on her back. He felt a surge of guilt that he hadn't noticed her cringing away from it before they left the walls. When he offered to trade her however she had refused. It turned out not to matter because she snuck up on quite a few squirrels with her knife. It seemed that during his absence of being outside the animal population had come back to the area surrounding the wall but that morning he and Beth diminished it greatly.

By the time they finished hunting the sun had risen past the treeline and they both had a handful of squirrels strapped over their backs. Before she had returned whenever Daryl would go hunting he would try to prolong his walk back to the gate as long as possible. He would try to get lost out in the woods in the hopes that he would find Beth again out there. But his natural sense of direction never let him stray far and his family behind the fence never let him wander off completely like he was sometimes tempted. The walk back to the gate used to feel like one of the hardest things he had to do. But now, with Beth smiling beside him, returning to the gate felt like the easiest thing in the world.

XxX

Some of the blood from the squirrels had leaked onto her clothing and while she often got blood on her while she worked at the clinic Beth did not think anyone would appreciate it if she showed up with squirrel blood coating her shirt. She had just changed her clothing and was on her way to the front door when the sound of her name drew her to a stop at the end of the hallway.

For a moment the voices on the other side of the wall were quiet and she considered heading out to work. Beth knew that she should not be eavesdropping and she was about to keep going when the next sentence kept her from moving.

"Beth remembering Judith just don't make any sense."

Rick was already speaking by the time Beth recognized the other man's voice to be Eugene's. She hadn't spoken to him very often but she had heard about how he had convinced everyone that he knew a cure for the walkers only to discovered to be lying.

"But she did." Rick's voice held an edge of annoyance to it as if he had Eugene were just repeating words they had already said to each other several times.

"Have you heard of Dr. Van der Kolk?" Eugene continued speaking before Rick could answer. "I caught one of his lectures a few years before the outbreak. Interesting guy. His theory on-"

"What does this have to do with Beth?" Rick asked with a sigh of exasperation. Beth nodded along gratefully from where she leaned against the wall. She may not have spent much time with Eugene but she knew how he had the tendency to drag on if no one stopped him.

"Glenn and Maggie told us last night that Beth remembered the baby and I haven't been able to sleep since. My brain just will not stop. From what you've told us about her injury, from what Morgan's said...there ain't no way her hippocampus would have been intact enough to recover her memory."

A silence fell in the other room as Beth's brow furrowed. What was he saying? That her memories weren't real? She knew they were real, they felt real, and Daryl had told her they were. Daryl wouldn't lie, not about something as serious as that. Or maybe the state of her memories wasn't what Eugene was talking about at all. Maybe what he was trying to say was-

"I was there Eugene." Rick whispered, cutting off Beth's thoughts. "She remembered Judith."

"I'm not saying she didn't." Eugene's accent seemed to be growing thicker with each passing word and Beth had a feeling he was slowly growing annoyed that Rick (and herself) was missing the point.

"So what? You're saying she never lost her memory? Because I know Beth and-" Rick's voice was beginning to raise in volume as Beth's spine straightened in outrage at the very thought that she would have ever faked her memory loss. She, more than anyone else, wished that she had her memory back. She would never be so cruel as to fake something like this.

"Beth's brain can't have repaired itself." Eugene interrupted as Beth heard what sounded like footsteps. Sure enough his voice was closer to her as he continued. "The parts of her brain damaged by the bullet's path ain't fixable. But that's not important."

Beth's eyebrows rose and she had to stop herself from scoffing at the man's words. Not important? How could a bullet ripping through her skull not be important? That was why her memory was gone, why they were in this whole stupid situation to begin with!

"How familiar are you with PTSD Rick?" clearly not expecting an answer Eugene continued speaking quickly before Beth could even wrap her mind around the reasoning behind his rapid subject change. "It has a whole mess of side effects including trouble sleeping, exaggerated emotional responses, and memory loss."

"What are you saying Eugene?" Rick sighed and Beth found herself nodding along gratefully. Everything Eugene had just said was roiling around in her brain and she could feel the beginning of a headache forming behind her eyes. Beth was seriously starting to regret listening to this conversation when she heard Eugene clear his throat awkwardly.

There was a brief silence on the other side of the wall and Beth pressed herself closer to it as if the solidness behind her could protect her from the words she already knew she didn't want to hear.

"I'm saying the bullet didn't block her memories. Beth did."


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is as far as the story has been written (I've been writing it on FFnet and just posted it on AO3 today) so the last few chapters will hopefully come out soon. The story is almost over I'm just not 100% sure how many chapters are left.

The only sound in the room was Daryl's even breaths and the occasional soft snore he let out as he shifted restlessly in their small bed. Beth threaded the chain of the pocket watch that had once belonged to her father through her fingers as she replayed the meaning of Eugene's whispered words through her mind yet again.

According to him the bullet that had marked it's course through her skull wasn't what had taken the memory of the man who had once owned this watch from her. According to Eugene, she was the one who had done that.

The shock of that statement (well to her it felt more like an accusation even though Beth knew no one was blaming her for this, at least not yet) and the way that it contradicted everything that she had long since accepted to be true had thrown Beth through a loop. It had been impossible for her to focus on the most minuscule of tasks all evening and she had caught Carol and Denise side eyeing her in concern several times through out the day. By the time she left the clinic she was certain that the reassuring smile she had plastered to her face was permanently etched there in a grimace long since gone sour.

Beth had barely been able to look Rick in the eye through out the entire dinner she was so sure that he was going to drop the bomb on her right then, unknowing that she was already aware of the reason behind the crease between his brows as he looked at her wearily from across the table. Every time he opened his mouth she held her breath thinking that this was it, this was the time he was going to say something. Beth was not yet ready for everyone else to begin questioning if her memory loss was due to PTSD or not when she was still trying to understand the implications of that herself.

But it seemed her worries were for naught because it turned out that Rick was not ready to discuss it yet either, apparently even with her, since he did not address her once despite the fact that she lingered in the room after everyone else had drifted away. On the one hand Beth was grateful to be given a bit more time to come to terms with this news herself but on the other hand she was annoyed that Rick would keep such important information about her own life from her. The only thing that stopped Beth from confronting him about it was her need to wrap her own head around this mess before she included anyone else in it.

That was also the only reason that she managed to keep herself quiet as she lay in the dark beside Daryl, his fingers slowly running through her hair until he drifted off to sleep. Beth pressed herself closer to his chest as she stared at the pocket watch, a small bit of moonlight glinting off it every so often as Daryl's breathing evened out underneath her.

Beth already knew that this was not a secret that she could hold nor was it information that she could face by herself. She just needed to know more about what she might be facing before she opened the doors to let anybody else in. She knew very little about PTSD, but she had known even less about traumatic brain injuries except knowing that she had one.

One thought had occurred to her only minutes after she had fled the house that morning, shimming her way out of her bedroom window so that Rick and Eugene would not know what she had overheard; if her memories weren't gone because the bullet had ripped through them then that meant they were still in there somewhere.

Maybe she was the reason her memories were gone but maybe she could be the reason they came back too.

XxX

His dreams were turbulent with bullets and ghosts and he woke with a gasp only to realize that Beth was already gone and for one distorting moment Daryl thought that the past few weeks had all just been a dream. But then his hands stretched out over the empty stretch of bed beside him and he could just feel the ghost of the lingering heat from her body. His whole body sagged with relief against the pillows before he threw back the blanket and staggered from the bed.

The house felt vast around him and he knew before he opened the door that it was empty. Daryl wondered briefly if he had woken up late or if everyone had just left early but in the end he decided neither reason was actually important. He changed quickly before shouldering his bow and heading out the door trying to shake off the strange feeling that had settled on his skin since he woke up.

He had barely gone past two houses before the sound of his name being called drew him to a halt and he cast a look over his shoulder to see Aaron, the man who had brought their group to this community, running to catch up to him.

Daryl shifted the weight of the bow as the man came to a stop before him, smiling at him even as he tried to regain his breath.

"Hey Daryl." the other man smiled at him easily as if Daryl had not spent the first few weeks after arriving here acting more like a feral dog than a man. Daryl nodded in response as he tried to figure out what the other man had sought him out for since he knew it wasn't due to his great conversational skills.

When they had first arrived in Alexandria Aaron had often tried to draw Daryl out of the haze he had submerged himself in, relentlessly approaching him with endless offers to join him and his boyfriend for meals or recruitment trips past the wall. No matter how many times Daryl refused (or how rudely) the man persisted. The only thing that got him to back off was Beth's arrival to the town because every single person within the walls saw the disturbance that it had caused within their group.

With the other man now beside him Daryl turned and began to head back towards the wall. Aaron followed his pace, like Daryl had known that he would, waiting a few seconds before speaking.

"I haven't had a chance to talk to you lately." Aaron began, sounding almost apologetic as if he and Daryl usually talked to each other. "Eric and I were out there for a few weeks this time. Got further than we ever have before. So far we haven't had any luck in finding people but we've found more than a few walkers."

Daryl grunted to show that he was listening, his eyes scanning the streets as they approached the wall. He still did not see the point behind this sudden conversation but thankfully Aaron had never been one to really beat around the bush.

"Eric and I can handle ourselves of course, but sometimes I think it'd be nice to have some more eyes out there. Maybe someone a bit more equipped at taking down walkers." Aaron looked as if he was going to continue speaking but Daryl had already worked out what he wanted from him.

"You want me to go out there with you two?" he grunted, coming to a stop about fifteen feet from his lookout post as turned to face the other man completely.

"Yes." Aaron said, smiling slightly even as Daryl scoffed under his breath. Before Daryl could even come up with a response Aaron spoke again. "But not just you."

Daryl's brows rose as he surveyed the other man, who for the first time looked to be slightly nervous about being around him. "Who else?" Daryl asked, his fingers tightening unconsciously around his bow.

"Well if we're going to continue heading out further it means that if someone gets hurt it will take even longer for us to get back here for medical help." Aaron began to explain, his nervousness gone as his eyes searched Daryl's like he was waiting to see his explanation click.

He did not have to wait long because Daryl understood right away what he was saying. But he wasn't exactly happy about it as he clarified, "Beth."

Aaron nodded sheepishly, taking a small step closer to him as he began to explain quickly, "Like I said you'd be helping us, all of us, if you do this. You're one of the best shots here and you don't even use a gun which makes you even more valuable. I'll admit I haven't been around Beth much but I've talked to Denise and she thinks Beth would be a huge asset to us out there. If you two agree to it of course."

He trailed off into silence as he watched Daryl closely, seemingly looking for any indication of how Daryl felt about this offer.

Truth be told, Daryl wasn't sure how he felt about it. He had to admit that the idea of not living behind walls everyday appealed to him, so did the idea of not having people crawling over every move he made. But Aaron had offered him a recruitment position when they had first arrived before Douglas shot the idea down, stating that Daryl would likely scare any new people away.

"Douglas-"Daryl began but he was cut off quickly by Aaron shaking his head.

"I already talked to him. He said if you both agree to it you can go."

Taking a deep breath Daryl turned his head away to survey the wall. It was the only thing that had kept most of the people in this community alive in the past few years but Daryl had often grown to resent it for making him feel caged in. Still, just because he got restless here did not mean he was going to ask Beth to go out there. He knew she could handle herself, had always known it really even when the others in their group sheltered her like she would break if a walker got within ten feet of her. Daryl remembered the look of calm on her face when they had gone hunting yesterday, she was not afraid to be out there. She did not think of the walls as her last line of defense from the outside world.

But just because Daryl knew she could handle herself out there did not mean he wanted to go and put her in danger again. He had already lost her, twice, he did not think he could handle losing her a third time. However, it wasn't his choice to make alone.

"I have to talk to Beth." Daryl finally said, turning back to face Aaron. He was surprised to see the other man was grinning at him like he had just agreed to join them.

XxX

She was having an even harder time staying focused after Rick passed by her that morning, again without a single word to her about what Eugene had told him, so when Denise finally told her to go home shortly after noon Beth did not offer a single word of argument. She ignored the worried looks the other aides cast her as she slipped outside, keeping her head down as she walked home. She had already come to the conclusion that she was going to confront Rick the next time she saw him but she was unprepared to find him sitting at the kitchen table when she slipped through the back door.

For a moment they both simply stayed still and eyed each other wearily before Rick gestured for her to sit down across from him. Beth did so slowly, clenching her fists around the fabric of her jeans to keep herself from drumming her fingers on the woodwork anxiously.

They sat in silence for a long minute and Beth wondered briefly if Rick was trying to make her feel more anxious on purpose. Just when she could no longer stand the silence he cleared his throat, tapping his own fingers against the table once before speaking, "I need to talk to you."

He kept it at that, as if he was waiting for her to agree which she thought she had already done by sitting down. She considered playing it coy and waiting to see what he admitted about Eugene's theory but in the end Beth decided she simply did not have time to play such games. With a sigh she leaned back heavily against the chair, her eyes not wavering on Rick's as she admitted calmly,"I heard you."

For a moment they just continued to stare at each other before Rick shook his head in confusion. His brow furrowed slightly as he asked, "Heard who?"

Beth looked down at the table, lifting one her hands from her lap to trace the edge of a water stain as she whispered, "You and Eugene. Yesterday morning." She heard him suck in a deep breath and Beth looked up from the table to meet Rick's eyes again, refusing to hide the sting of betrayal she felt as she whispered, "Why didn't you tell me?"

Rick had the decency to look slightly ashamed as he leaned back in his chair and sighed, "I'm telling you now."

"No you're not." Beth protested, unsure if what she felt was anger or exasperation. "I told you."

Sometimes she felt like everyone in their little family thought that if they pushed her to hard she would break apart like a glass doll. She knew that she had moments where everything just became to much for her but everyone did sometimes. That didn't mean that she needed to be treated like one wrong word would tip her into hysterics.

Beth could see her sometimes, the meek girl they had all thought she had been, well all of them but Daryl. He was the only person who trusted her enough to let her carry her own weight and even his weight at times. She often wondered how it was that he was the only person who had ever really seen her, who literally knew more about her than she did herself now. Beth figured it must have happened when they were on their own together. In the time that she had thought they had become a couple they had forged a much stronger bond instead.

Shaking her head to clear her thoughts Beth realized that Rick was speaking again, saying how he had just been trying to figure out the best way to tell her and that he never would have kept this from her, he had just wanted to make sure that she could handle it.

Beth let out a sigh at the last part and she saw a flicker of worry pass over Rick's eyes as he eyed her wearily. "You don't have to protect me Rick. I can take care of myself." The words felt familiar on her tongue and idly Beth wondered how many times in her life she'd had to remind people of that.

Rick rose his hand and rubbed the scruff on his chin, looking like was used to having more than just stubble there. As she thought this Beth had a sudden flash of his face covered by a thick beard. Before she could even place anything else about the memory Rick began speaking.

"I know that Beth." he shook his head and Beth felt her spine straighten as if she was readying herself for a fight. What was it going to take for people to start taking her seriously?

Dropping his hand back to the table Rick continued,"I always knew that but it still didn't stop me from trying to keep you safe. I thought if I could keep you and Judith and Carl away from the walkers than you wouldn't have to know what it was like to grow up in a world with them."

"I'm not a child Rick." Beth began but he cut her off before she could continue her protests.

"No. You're not." he drew a deep breath and in that split second Beth saw how the heavy weight of keeping their family safe had affected him. She could almost see the way his shoulders sagged under the weight of it even as he looked across at her. "But you're my family Beth. And I failed you."

She was shaking her head before he had even begun explaining what he meant but in that moment it was like Rick could not see her and his eyes glazed over like he was seeing a ghost.

"I'll always wonder what would have happened if we'd gone with my plan. Wonder if it would have changed anything, if it would have even mattered." Rick let out a strange noise that almost sounded like a choked laugh mixed with a strangled sob before he continued. "I let you walk right past me to get to that woman. I never even considered what would happen. The next thing I know the gun was going off and your blood was on my face-"

His words had taken on a dreamlike quality as if he was no longer aware of what he was saying. Even though Beth had never heard such a detailed account of her shooting before she shoved away his description to think about it later as she leaned across the table to grasp Rick's hands with hers.

Slowly he blinked at her like he was coming up from underwater and Beth felt his fingers tighten around hers as she shook her head.

"It wasn't your fault Rick. It was nobody's fault." In the back of her mind Beth wondered how many more people she was going to have to repeat those words to. It seemed that there was no shortage of blame going around for her shooting even though Beth did not blame a single one of them.

He opened his mouth to argue but Beth continued speaking over him. "We can all pass around the blame for days Rick but it's not going to change anything. What's done is done. Now it's time for us to fix it."

Rick nodded slowly and she felt it as his eyes trailed from hers up to the scar on her forehead. "We can fix it." he agreed softly, his hand tightening around hers.

XxX

The first thing he saw when he entered the house through the back was Beth and Rick sitting at the table with a mountain of books piled between them. He was surprised to see both of them home before him, usually when he got home no one else was there yet. He still hadn't figured out the best way to broach Aaron's offer with Beth but he figured the best way would be to just to go ahead and tell her. He figured he would wait until they were alone so that her choice would not be influenced by others claiming that they wanted what was best for her. If it was up to half the people in their family Daryl sometimes thought they would lock Beth in a room just so that she would never get hurt again.

It seemed that both Rick and Beth were heavily engrossed in the heavy looking tomes laying open before them because despite the sound of the door opening and his boots hitting the tile floor as he walked inside neither of them even looked up. For a long moment Daryl just watched them silently, Rick had a heavy crease between his eyebrows like he sometimes got when he was confused and Beth had a pen in one hand and every few seconds she would write something down in the notebook beside her.

Daryl finally had to clear his throat to get their attention and both of them looked up with surprise etched onto their faces proving that he had been right and they hadn't heard him enter at all. This was strange for Beth and even more so for Rick who was often on such high alert nothing escaped his notice.

"Daryl." Beth breathed out his name like a sigh of relief and Daryl shifted at intimate tone in her voice. Rick beckoned for him to take the seat across from him and he did so without question, feeling more and more confused by the second. As he sank down into the chair he caught a glimpse of a few of the books titles and he noticed right away that several of them were medical titles, with more than a few dealing with post traumatic stress.

His brow furrowed for a moment before Daryl forced his face to go blank, hoping that if he acted like he knew what was happening someone would explain why the kitchen suddenly looked like a library.

"I have to tell you something." Beth admitted, clicking her pen shut before placing it down beside her notebook which was covered in her neat bubble like handwriting. Daryl just nodded for her to continue, his hands curling into fists on his lap as he tried to brace himself for a hit he had no idea where to except it to fall.

"Eugene thinks my memory loss might be self inflicted." Beth whispered in a rush, apparently believing that the adage about ripping off a bandage fast made it hurt less.

For a second all Daryl could do was stare at her blankly as her words rattled around in his brain. As soon as they clicked he cast another look at the books on the table, the PTSD ones suddenly making sense. Even though he realized where Eugene must have been coming from Daryl still felt his skin begin to prickle in anger.

"It's not your fau-" he begin in a rush but Rick held up his hand and cut him off.

"No one is blaming Beth for this." he said placatingly but after one look at her Daryl knew that she was. He reached out his hand and intertwined his fingers through hers under the table as Rick continued speaking. "We've been reading these books all day and we think what Beth has is a severe case of PTSD and retrograde amnesia."

Daryl looked back and forth between the two of them, both of them were looking at him as if this information was supposed to mean something to him. Daryl just shook his head at them in confusion, it wasn't that he didn't understand what they were saying, he did. He just didn't see the point. What did it matter how her memories were gone? They were still gone whether it was because of Beth's brain blocking them out of defense or the bullet blowing them out. The effect was what mattered in this situation, not the cause.

"And?" Daryl finally grunted when it became apparent that they were waiting for him to say something.

He caught sight of Beth's shoulders drooping slightly before she shrugged it off. "We found a few books in the library about psychological trauma. They have a lot of tips on how to help people cope with the aftereffects. We just thought..." Beth trailed off as if she had run out of words but by then Daryl had realized what she was trying to say. Rick and her thought that the secret to unlocking her memory was in the pages surrounding them.

Deciding that telling her about Aaron's offer could wait until the morning Daryl reached forward with the hand not clutching Beth's and pulled the closest book to him.

XxX

Her neck ached from being bent over books and her eyes had long since gone blurry after the hours they had spent devouring what ever information they could. Beth finally shoved her book away from her with a groan when she realized that she had just read the same sentence for the fifth time.

Daryl looked over at her with a look of concern and Beth tried to smile at him reassuringly but she felt like it settled on her mouth like a grimace. Thankfully they had already made some progress. Several of the books had provided them with information about PTSD and ways to help oneself cope with the aftermath. Some of the tips seemed like they should be such small things; such as meditation and writing about one's thoughts and feelings. Others would be a bit more difficult for Beth like the tip that suggested 'accepting the trauma into your life' since she couldn't exactly remember her trauma. But she was willing to try anything if it meant that she could remember her life before waking up in the hospital. While the books all offered a wide range of coping mechanisms they all had one thing in common. All of them mentioned how recovery was an ongoing process and that it would not happen overnight, 'healing' would just mean that Beth would have fewer symptoms and be able to have the confidence to face the memories of her traumas.

Of course Beth couldn't even do that now. It seemed that while it was normal for people with PTSD to suffer some memory loss or dissociation with traumatic experiences a memory loss as severe as hers was incredibly uncommon. Personally, Beth thought that might have to do with the fact that her life had been incredibly traumatic for the past few years as far as she could tell. It seemed as though the bullet was the final straw and her brain could not process what memories she had that weren't traumatic so as its last line of defense it blocked out everything. Because of this, however, they were not finding very much on ways to go about Beth getting her memory back but Michonne thought that by coping with the PTSD Beth's memories might begin to shake loose on their own.

They hadn't even discussed whether or not they would include the others in helping her with this. When the front door had opened with Carl's laughter coming through Rick and Daryl had looked at Beth with raised brows and she had known that if she wanted to keep this between them she needed to move and get those books hidden. But the footsteps were already approaching the kitchen and she was suddenly sick to death of secrets so when Michonne stopped in the doorway after Carl who had Judith balanced in his arms, both of them looking at the mess of books on the table with questions in their eyes, the only thing Beth did was shove a book closer to them.

They had joined them at the table quietly, Morgan taking the empty seat beside her when he entered the house a little while later. Rick explained to them Eugene's theory while Beth continued copying any statement from the books she thought might be even remotely helpful, Daryl running his fingers over her knee soothingly every time she let out a soft sigh of frustration.

She had to admit having all these extra eyes reading over things she might have missed was incredibly helpful. With all of them working together they were able to make a much steadier progress through the tomes than Beth ever would have managed alone. Morgan had already offered to talk to Eugene in the morning to see what other things he might have to say on the matter and all of the others had offered to help her relive moments from her pasts that they had been present for in the hopes that they might shake some memories loose.

Beth had agreed gratefully, still overwhelmed by all that was happening. She had only one condition for them, that she be the one to tell Maggie about all of this. She had already left her in the dark long enough it was time for her to work with her sister. Besides she was the best source Beth had for information about her earlier life. Those memories would likely not have been as traumatic as the ones after the dead started walking so maybe with Maggie's help she could start to shake some of those free.

Remembering Judith had proven to her that the memories were still in there. All she had to do now was dig them out.

XxX

They had continued researching long into the night and had only wandered off to their sleeping areas after Carl had nearly fallen asleep on top of the book he'd been reading. Neither Daryl nor Beth had much to say as they crawled into bed, the words from the books were still dancing around their minds. On the back of Daryl's tongue was Aaron's recruitment offer but one look at the wary look on Beth's face told him that now was not the time to bring it up.

He would try to tell her tomorrow when her mind was less full. He didn't know if she would accept the offer, hell he didn't even know for sure yet if he wanted too. Daryl just knew that it was not his choice to make alone. But with their plan forming on how to help Beth get her memories back he had even less of an idea of whether or not she would want to pick up and leave the people who might be able to help dislodge the block on her mind. Not that Daryl wouldn't be there outside the walls to help her of course but there were some things in her life that he had never seen before, some puzzles that he could not help her solve no matter how much he wanted to.

Beth fell asleep after only a few minutes which was very unusual for her. She often stayed up later than him, her mind going off in a thousand different directions he couldn't even begin to guess at. She curled up tight against his side, her even breaths tickling his skin as she slept. Daryl kept running his fingers through her hair absentmindedly as he stared up at the dark ceiling above him. All of the information he had read about kept roiling through his brain until it was all just a twisted jumbled mess. He kept trying to focus on what he had read about though because it was easier to focus on information where he had to look up a significant portion of the words instead of thinking about the implications of Beth's own mind being the cause of her memory loss.

It wasn't that he blamed her, because of course he didn't. It wasn't her fault that her brain had reacted the way it did just like it wasn't her fault she had been shot. Things just happened and you had to learn how to adjust around them. This was just one of those things.

In fact knowing that her memories were likely only blocked instead of simply not there anymore made it feel like a physical weight had been lifted off of Daryl's shoulders. If they had been blocked than they could be unblocked. He knew it wasn't going to happen overnight or anything but just the thought of Beth being able to work past this filled him with hope.

Of course Daryl also felt slightly guilty that he wanted her to remember some parts of her life. He knew she had seen horrors, they all had, and asking her to have to relive those weighed on him. But he knew Beth would take the bad memories if it meant she could have her good ones back as well and Daryl knew she had plenty of those stored up in there as well. Including her memories of him.

Maybe they didn't have the best form of a plan to work on getting her memories back but it was a hell of a lot more than they had had yesterday. They had a chance now. A real chance of helping Beth remember everything that she had lost.

There was no way in hell they weren't going to take it.


	20. Chapter Twenty

Throughout her entire shift at work Beth had run through several different scenarios of how she would tell her sister about Eugene's theory behind her memory loss and the plan they had begun to come up with to help her recover from it. However, none of her plans had counted on Maggie nodding thoughtfully before she crossed her arms stubbornly over her chest and announced, "I'm going to help you too."

Beth blinked at her in surprise before she tried to say as calmly as possible. "There's really nothing to help with yet. We're just going to try to jog my memory with simple words or images at first-" before she could continue saying that the others could help her with that for now Maggie cut her off.

"That's a great idea. I can help with that."

The two sisters stared at each other in silence for a minute while Beth tried to decide what to do. It was true that she had been the one who had insisted on telling Maggie about this at all, she had not wanted to keep her sister in the dark again. Besides that she knew as well as anyone that Maggie was the best source of information she had on the years of her life before the outbreak. But despite that fact she had not wanted to include Maggie in the actual process of trying to shake her memories loose from whatever blocked them until they learned if their attempts would even work at all. They were taking a shot in the dark with a gun that only had one bullet in the chamber. Beth had wanted to spare as many people as possible if they ended up only firing blank.

But Maggie was staring at her with the stubborn look Beth recognized from her own face so she simply sighed before nodding consent. Her sister did not smile but her shoulders relaxed as some of the tension seemed to leave her. It appeared that she had not expected for Beth to agree so easily.

"We're going to start working on it after dinner if you want to join us." Beth told her softly before turning to head back to her house. She figured she should probably warn Daryl and the others that they would have more company for their experiment that night. Beth was beginning to feel a bundle of nerves forming in her stomach for what they were going to attempt. She still didn't know if she thought that this plan was actually going to work or not but she knew that they all needed for her to at least try.

And regardless of what the others wanted Beth had grown sick of living in the dark. She needed herself to try too.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Maggie suddenly called out from behind her. The faint edge of hurt in her voice caused Beth to look back over her shoulder at her. It was evident by her tone as well as the halfhearted shrug she gave as Beth met her eyes that she had been wanting to ask this question for some time now. "That you were remembering things." Maggie clarified as she caught Beth's look of confusion.

Turning around completely, Beth sighed softly as she shoved her hands into the pockets of her jeans. Her fingers curled around the chain of their father's pocket watch as she struggled to find the right words to explain herself.

"I didn't want to upset you more." she finally admitted with a sheepish shrug, shaking her head when Maggie opened her mouth to protest. "When I first started remembering things I didn't even think that they were real." she admitted, her fingers curling tighter around the watch as a flash of pain went through Maggie's eyes. "When I realized that they were I decided not to tell you because I didn't know if I was going to remember anything else. All I got at first were just flashes and segments. Nothing made sense. Half of it still doesn't." Beth paused to take a deep breath as she shook her head. She still stood by her decision to keep everyone but Daryl in the dark about her memories, she just wished that everyone else would accept it and move on. "I just didn't see the point in telling you about them if it was only going to hurt you more."

Maggie suddenly stepped closer and placed her hands on her shoulders. Beth took a small step backwards in surprise at the contact as she stared up at her sister.  
"Don't worry about hurting me Beth." Maggie whispered, her fingers tightening slightly as she said her name as if she was afraid that Beth would pull away again. "I'm the big sister. It's my job to protect you." her voice caught on the word 'protect' and Beth knew that she was thinking again about the time where they had thought she was dead. Or even the time she had once alluded to about how she gave up on Beth. At the time Beth had thought she had meant it was after she had been shot but now she was no longer certain.

Their conversation already felt heavy enough without asking Maggie about that though so Beth simply smiled at her sadly before she whispered. "I don't need to be protected either."

Her sister let out a startled laugh at that before she dropped her hands from her shoulders and surveyed Beth thoughtfully.

"No. I guess you don't."

XxX

Daryl leaned his crossbow against the kitchen door frame as he watched Rick finish putting away the last of their dishes from dinner. The sounds of Judith babbling from where she played in the front room of the house filled his ears as Daryl tried to keep his emotions in check.

After having time the night before to really think about their plan on helping Beth recover her memories a thought had occurred to Daryl and in the light of day it looked even uglier than it had the night before.

"You didn't tell me." Daryl finally grunted, just barely managing to keep the worst of his frustration out of his voice. The words had been burning a hole in his tongue all morning but saying them aloud still did not erase the bitter after taste they left in his mouth. There had been a time when Rick had told him everything, where he had trusted him with the safety of not just himself but with his wife and his son. Daryl hadn't thought that so much had changed that Rick had stopped trusting him but it seemed that he had missed something along the way.

Rick sighed heavily at the words but he did not look at Daryl as he dried his hands off on a spotted kitchen towel. "About what Eugene said." Rick clarified, finally casting a look over his shoulder in time to see Daryl nod curtly.

"I was trying to protect you. You and Beth. I didn't tell her either at first." Rick informed him with a sigh, turning to face him fully as he leaned back against the counter.  
Daryl crossed his arms over his chests and tried not to glower at him. He had already known that Rick hadn't told Beth until she had brought it up. She had explained the whole thing to him the night before, about how she had overheard Eugene on accident and spent the day waiting for Rick to tell her. She kept tripping over herself with apologies as she explained to him why she hadn't told him about it either.

While Daryl wasn't happy with the fact that Beth hadn't told him he at least understood why she didn't. He couldn't even imagine what it had to be like to think you knew something so important, like the reasoning behind her memory loss, only to be told that she'd been wrong this entire time. He understood the fact that she had needed time to accept that before she included him as well but Daryl just couldn't understand why Rick hadn't told them.

He knew that Rick would keep things from the group if he thought it was for everyone's better interest, he had known about them all being infected after all and hadn't told them for months. Of course he had just been waiting for Jenner's theory to be proved to be correct but even after all those years finding out Rick had kept something so important from them all still stung.

Daryl also knew for a fact that most of the group still did not know that Carol had been the one to kill Karen and David. Tyreese knew, she had told him once about the night she had confessed to Ty. Carol had glossed over most of the details and Daryl knew there was much more to the story of their time between the prison and reuniting with the others than he would ever understand but he did not press her. Nor did he ever try to convince her to tell the others what she had done. Sometimes people didn't need to know things and he understood that.

But this had not been one of those times.

"Protect us from what?" Daryl asked, his fingers digging into the flesh of his arms as he fought down the urge to clench his fists. He'd been trying to figure out all morning why he was so angry about being left in the dark about this and he still hadn't quite worked it out. The sense of betrayal just refused to leave him no matter how many times he tried to tell himself he was making this into a bigger deal than it was.

Rick sighed heavily as he stopped twisting the towel in his hands and finally looked Daryl in the eye.

Neither man spoke for a long moment and the only noise in the house was Judith playing in the other room as they stared at each other. Finally Rick spoke, his voice a measured calm as he did so.

"I was there Daryl. After the hospital. In the hospital." Daryl shifted uncomfortably as if the memory his words brought up left a physical weight on his skin. Rick shook his head as if to wash the ghosts from his own mind."Losing Beth nearly destroyed you. I didn't want you to be hurt again." His eyes bored into Daryl's as he finished softly. "Either of you."

A tense silence settled over the room before Rick shrugged nearly helplessly as he turned to drop the towel on the counter behind him. "If Eugene turned out to be wrong, which he could still be, I didn't want either of you to get your hopes up."

Daryl was starting to understand where the other man was coming from but that did not make his annoyance at the matter ebb any less. Still holding on to his edge of frustration he muttered as he turned to leave, "That wasn't your choice to make."

XxX

At the sound of the door opening all three women on the porch turned to look at it with varying levels of relief. Beth felt her muscles unclench at the sight of Daryl coming through it although she could nearly feel the air of tension still clinging to him. She rose her eyebrows at him but before she could say anything he shook his head at her minutely.

Figuring that he likely did not want to talk about it around the others Beth turned back to face her sister and Michonne who had both offered to help her in their first attempt to drag up some memories from her past. They had been working on it for nearly an hour and so far all Beth had received for her efforts was a throbbing in her temples and she honestly couldn't tell if it was from the strain she was putting on her mind or the efforts of the women across from her.

She knew that they were just trying to be helpful of course, everyone just wanted her to remember as badly as she did (actually Beth sometimes thought they wanted her to remember them even more than she did) but their attempts were beginning to wear her out. She didn't know how to say anything without appearing ungrateful for all the work that they were doing so Beth had decided she would give them one more hour and then call it off for the night. Although if she didn't remember anything at all Beth might just decide to scrap the whole thing altogether. They would just have to find another way to pry her memories out.

Daryl settled down on the step above where she sat and Beth inched closer to him without thinking. At the sight of Maggie and Michonne failing at hiding their smiles as they looked at each other Beth cleared her throat awkwardly, drawing their attention back to her.

"This isn't working." she announced with a sigh, her shoulders drooping as she felt Daryl's eyes shift over to her. She picked at the frayed hole in her jeans ,suddenly unable to face the disappointment that had to be in his eyes.

Their plan so far had been based largely off of what they had read in some of the books that they had scrounged up. Nearly all of them suggested mediation and Michonne had thought that would be a good start place. So for the last hour Beth had been trying to mediate while also focusing on the scraps of memory that she had which she personally thought was a very contradictory method. It didn't matter though considering the fact that it wasn't working.

"You're doing great Beth." Maggie encouraged from the other side of the stairs, leaning forward as if she was going to reach out and touch Beth. She stopped herself at the last second and she seemed to be searching for another encouraging thing to say when Michonne spoke.

"We can try something else. We've got time Beth." she looked up at the sound of her name and Michonne's dark eyes met hers and she spoke. "You don't have to remember anything tonight. Stop pressuring yourself."

Beth barely bit back a scoff at that and she dropped her head discouragingly against Daryl's leg beside her. She was just opening her mouth to suggest that they just go ahead and call it a night when Daryl spoke.

"Maybe we should try telling her stuff. Like things that happened." his voice was muttered and unsure but Beth looked up at him with wide eyes at the suggestion. He looked down at her with a faint shimmer of hope in his eyes and Beth let out a sigh of relief to see that he did not look disappointed with her lack of progress.

"You were the one who said we shouldn't tell her stuff-" Maggie began with an edge of annoyance in her voice but Daryl cut her off.

"When she first got here." he looked away from Beth to glare across at her sister and Beth poked him the calf as a way to tell him to lower the wattage of his dirty look. "She couldn't have handled it then." as soon as he said it Daryl looked down at her apologetically as if he was sorry for making a decision for her but Beth only smiled at him. He had been correct with that choice. If anyone had tried to tell her about her past in the days after her arrival she likely would have left for DC immediately.

Daryl's voice was intense as he whispered, "Beth wants to know now. She wants to remember. It's worth a shot."

Feeling like those last four words were going to become their motto for this process Beth turned to face her sister and Michonne with a nod of encouragement as she whispered, "Please."

XxX

It felt like there was a thick ball of annoyance settled in his stomach from his conversation with Rick and Maggie's comment about the decision he made when Beth had first arrived had only made it grow. He did not regret the choice to keep her in the dark about her past at first. Normally Daryl would never want to make a decision for Beth, or anyone else really, but she had been in no state when she first got here to hear any of the things they had since told her. He felt like the fact that they had given her space in the beginning had actually made it easier for her to hear the memories they confided in her since and for her to handle the things she had remembered on her own.

The feeling of unease in his chest began to lighten as Beth leaned her head against his leg tiredly while he, Maggie and Michonne tried to think of the best memory to describe to her. At first Maggie had tried to whisper which had caused Daryl to raise his eyebrows at her in disbelief. Beth was sitting feet from her, just because she had her eyes closed didn't mean she couldn't hear them. To her credit Maggie had only rolled her eyes at him before she continued speaking at a normal volume as they discussed what they should tell her.

They mentioned several different names and places, random events that had happened in their time at the farm and the prison but none of them even mentioned that Daryl should describe to Beth the time they had been alone. He knew that the others didn't know that he had already told Beth about parts of it but they seemed to understand without him saying anything that that time was always going to be something that only Beth and him shared, in both experience and in memory.

Even though several of the things they mentioned must have confused Beth she never said anything and as they finally settled on a moment to describe to her Daryl began to wonder if she was actually asleep. He reached down to place his hand gently on her shoulder and she stirred at his touch, twisting her neck to smile softly up at him.

"Finally decide?" she whispered, making no move to straighten up.

Daryl nodded once before casting a look at the others. Michonne leaned back against the stair rails and nodded for him to tell her while Maggie curled her fingers into her jeans and stared at him expectantly.

Taking a deep breath Daryl began speaking, his hand tightening around Beth's shoulder as he did so. "We were at the prison one night and everyone was real upset because we'd been attacked by some fucked up people. We'd lost one of our own that day, Axel. He was one of the prisoners that stayed with us after we came to the prison." Daryl continued on quickly, deciding to omit the part where they had killed one of the other prisoners and had nearly sent Axel and Oscar packing.

"They'd set walkers into the yard too, which was the first thing we'd cleared. It was a big loss." Daryl looked across and saw Maggie look down at her lap and take a deep breath like she was steadying herself to hear the memory. He wondered if she could feel the phantom presence of her father the way he could feel Merle's.

Daryl knew that Beth's eyes were tight on his face and he looked down at her as he focused on telling her what had happened rather than hoping she would just finish telling him about it.

"We were all upset and in the cell block. Nobody really felt like doing much of anythin', we weren't talking or eating or nothing. We were just being." Michonne let out a soft noise and Daryl looked across to meet her eyes and he couldn't help but remember that at the time he was telling Beth about he still didn't trust Michonne. Silently marveling at how far they had come Daryl quickly finished telling Beth about the moment.

"All of a sudden you started singing, like we were sitting around a damn campfire or something." Daryl shook his head at the memory of her sweet voice suddenly breaking through the darkness of the prison, seeming almost like a light in itself. "I dunno why you picked the song you did, but it was just what we'd needed to hear."

"You made us forget." Maggie interrupted, looking up from her lap to stare at her little sister. "For just a few minutes you let us forget the danger we were in."

"No." Michonne straightened as she shook her head. "It wasn't that. You made us hope that we could get out of the danger."

Daryl turned away from the women to look down at Beth, who had her eyes squeezed shut as they all waited in bated silence for her to say something, anything. He could feel his heart beating in his chest and for a wild second he wondered if it was loud enough for the others to hear. He kept waiting for there to be a change in Beth's face, a flicker of something as she remembered what they were talking about. But except for her squeezing her eyes shut tighter her face remained unchanged. Daryl felt like he was about to jump out of his skin with anticipation when Beth finally sucked in a deep breath and opened her eyes.

Without even meaning to Daryl leaned closer to her, desperate to hear her confirm that she knew what they were talking about. He saw Maggie and Michonne inch closer from the corner of his eye and it felt like they were all holding their breath as Beth whispered, her voice barely more than a breath, "I don't remember."

XxX

The curtain kept fluttering in the slight breeze wafting through their open window and it caused shadows to dance across the wall Beth was staring at. She lay curled up on her side, sleep the furthest thing from her thoughts as she ran everyone's words over and over in her mind.

Nothing clicked.

Trying to keep from sighing in disappointment Beth tried to remind herself that this was just their first attempt. It didn't mean anything that nothing had happened. She'd gone into this knowing there was no guarantee that anything they attempted was going to do any good and yet she still felt like she had let everybody down.

"It could still work." Daryl whispered suddenly from beside her. Beth stiffened in surprise, she had thought that he had fallen asleep hours ago. Careful not to jostle the bed too much she shifted over onto her side, Daryl turning to face her as he whispered again.

"It could work." his hand found hers on top of the blankets and Beth interlaced her fingers through his on instinct, clinging to his hand as desperately as she was clinging to his words. "This was just the first try."

Somehow hearing the things she had been thinking to herself all night made her feel worse. Shoving her dark thoughts aside Beth forced herself to focus on Daryl's positivity as she whispered, "Yeah, maybe."

"But we don't have to be here to work on your memories." Daryl suddenly whispered, his voice hesitant as if he was afraid he going to upset her.

Her brow crinkled in confusion at his phrasing. If they weren't here where else would they be? "What do you mean?" Beth finally asked, unable to make sense of the riddle of his words.

Daryl sighed as he clutched her fingers tighter, turning back onto his back to stare up at the ceiling. "I mean Aaron wants us to join him and Eric on recruitment trips." he admitted, a slight edge of guilt in his voice. 

"Oh." Beth let out a breath of surprise before letting go of Daryl's hand to prop herself up on her elbow. The idea caused something within her chest to loosen up and she wondered if it was simply the idea of living without walls caging her in. "What did you say?"

Daryl turned back to look at her, his eyes earnest as he whispered. "Said I had to talk to you first."

A small smile crossed her face at the words and she let herself think for a moment about what it would be like to be out in the open world again. She wasn't entirely sure if the idea pleased or terrified her. "What do you want to do?" Beth asked softly.

"Might be nice not to be behind walls all the time." Daryl admitted after a pause, causing Beth to smile softly. She knew she had not been imaging the slight longing in his eyes when he looked out over the fences.

Beth nodded in consent, remembering how much easier her own breath had come when she'd joined Daryl on his hunting trip. The thought of open spaces began to look more and more appealing to her.

"It'd be nice to help people too." she whispered as the offer truly began to sink into her. "To start planning for a future." she didn't say what she really meant, that it would be nice to think about the future instead of the past for once.

"We don't have to go right away." Daryl whispered, misreading the meaning of her words. Reaching up he brushed a lock of hair out of her face as he continued. "If you want time to work on your memories I can tell Aaron we'll go on the next trip."

A slight shiver ran up Beth's spine at the thought of repeating the day's exhausting and fruitless efforts but she nodded anyway. One bad day was not going to stop her from trying to pry her memories loose. She was just discouraged right now was all, she had promised to try and one attempt was not trying. But even as she nodded the idea of leaving, the thought of focusing on what came next instead of what had already happened, began to look more and more appealing.

"Okay." Beth whispered, "We'll try for a little longer." Daryl met her eyes as she whispered intently. "But if nothing comes back we go."

XxX

Aaron and Eric had been surprisingly easygoing about Beth and him deferring their joining of the team a few weeks, and they had been even more easygoing about it when they learned why. They thought that the plans to work on Beth's memories were great, and they had even stopped by before they left on their next run to wish her luck.

With each passing day more people were becoming aware of just what they were trying to attempt. Denise had offered several techniques to help people cope with PTSD and Morgan had gotten Beth to meditate with him every morning. Nearly every night people would sit with Beth and tell her in detail moments they had gone through together.

Unfortunately, nothing seemed to be working.

Daryl could see her growing more and more discouraged with each failed attempt. She'd been sleeping less and although he didn't ask he knew that the memories she'd been getting in her sleep had stopped entirely.

Part of him wondered if trying to hard to shake things loose had blocked them more but he didn't say anything in fear of upsetting Beth more than she already was. He tried to keep hope alive for her but in truth his own hope was slowly waning. After a certain point hoping for the impossible just became foolish.

XxX

Beth crossed her legs underneath her as she settled on the back lawn of the house. From back here the only view was of the wall cutting them off from the rest of the world but Beth didn't mind since it allowed her to forget for a few minutes all the people in the houses behind her. Judith sat happily in her lap and Beth let her hold her fingers in her tiny hands as she let out an endless stream of noises, real words forming every so often.

She still felt something in her heart seize every time the child said her name and Beth wasn't sure if she would ever loose that feeling. She'd grown closer to the child over the past few weeks and she honesty didn't know if it was because she had the majority of her memories of her or if it was because Judith was the only person who didn't expect anything from her. She was content with Beth the way she was which Beth thought very few others behind these walls could say.

Bending slightly Beth pressed a light kiss against the little girl's hair as she let her mind wander to the reason why she had remembered Judith so vividly out of nowhere but she could not remember events even when people described them word for word to her. Everyone had different theories on that, of course, but they all ranged from the wildly ridiculous to downright idiotic although Beth never told anyone that. Personally she thought Tyreese was likely the closest person to being right on the cause.

_He'd come up to her at the family dinner the past week and smiled at seeing Judith in her arms. Beth had been having trouble not having the little girl in her sights ever since they had started trying to shake her memories loose. Beth didn't know if it was just because she wanted Judith near her or if she wanted to hold onto the physical proof that somewhere locked in her mind her memories were still intact._

_Tyreese didn't comment on her need to hold the child, he'd just stood next to her in companionable silence while making faces at Judith who had giggle wildly with each one._

_While she was watching them Beth remembered something Carl had mentioned to her a few days ago and she found herself genuinely curious as she asked, "You saved her from the prison didn't you?" She turned her head to look at the man over Judith's head, surprised when he shook his head slowly._

_"Not exactly." he sighed deeply and Beth was surprised to hear the sound come out of him. She hadn't spent much time with the man but he always seemed to be in such good spirits the few times she'd been with him. "A couple of kids saved me, they saved her too. I may have gotten them out of the prison but if it hadn't been for the girls I wouldn't have known to get Judith out."_

_Beth nodded thoughtfully as she took in this information. "Where are the girls now?" she asked softly even though she was fairly certain that she already knew the answer._

_"They're gone." Tyreese said shortly, an intense look of sadness crossing his face as the words passed his lips._

_"I'm sorry." Beth whispered and she honesty didn't know if she was apologizing for their loss or the way the question had clearly caused the man beside her pain. Tyreese gave her a small smile as he reached his large hand up to grab Judith's tiny one._

_"I heard you remembered her." he said. Beth did not comment on his rapid subject change as she nodded slowly._

_"She's about all I've remembered." she'd tried to keep the bitterness and frustration about her lack of progress out of her voice but even Beth could hear that it was there._

_Tyreese was quiet for a long moment before he spoke, his words coming out slowly as if he was choosing each one very carefully. "When we first got to the prison we thought Judith was your daughter." Beth turned to look back at him in astonishment but Tyreese did not look up from Judith as he continued softly. "And in some ways she was. You weren't her mother but you played a big part in raising this little girl."_

_Tyreese finally looked up and met Beth's eyes as he whispered sincerely. "She might not have been yours Beth, but you were always hers. Even after the hospital I think some part of you has always known that."_

Stars began to peek out in the sky as night fell in earnest. Beth heard the door open behind her a few times but she never looked back to see who was checking on her. Whoever it was they seemed to understand that at that moment all she really needed was to be alone.

Eventually Judith fell asleep in Beth's arms, her head pressed into the crook of her neck. Humming softly Beth carefully stood, trying not to jostle the child as she walked slowly to the door. Rick looked up from the book he was studying intently as she walked inside. He appeared to be the only one still awake in the darkened house and Beth wondered with a jolt how long she had been out on the lawn. Rick did not admonish her for keeping his daughter out in the dark but he did stand and carefully remove her from Beth's arms.

"You alright?" he asked in concern, his voice softened out of courtesy for their sleeping house mates.

Forcing a smile Beth nodded, bending quickly to press a light kiss to Judith's temple in the hopes to hide the fakeness of her grin. She could tell by Rick's face that he wasn't fooled but he made no further comment as Beth muttered a good night and tiptoed past Morgan on the couch. She knew by the calculated evenness of his breathing that he was still awake but she made no move to indicate that she noticed.

Beth eased open the door to their bedroom slowly in the attempts that the noise would not wake Daryl but the moment she slipped inside the room she realized that her caution had been unnecessary. He looked up from the arrow he was sharpening in his hands as Beth shut the door behind her softly. For a moment they simply stared across the room at each other, as if they were each willing the other to speak.

Suddenly desperate to fill the silence Beth opened her mouth to say something, anything. She hadn't known what she was going to say but she thought she might have been just as surprised as Daryl when the words that tumbled past her lips were, "We should leave."

She saw a slight tremor run through Daryl's hands, the only indication of any surprise he might have felt at her words.

"With Aaron and Eric. We should go on their next run." she clarified, knowing the moment the words left her mouth that it was the right thing to do. It was what she needed to do. The men had returned a few days ago and had been planning out their next trip. They hadn't asked outright if Daryl and her would be joining them but at that moment Beth knew that they would be. She needed to get outside of these suffocating walls that were full of the proof of how damaged her mind had become. It felt like everywhere she looked anymore there was just another reminder of her past that she did not fully understand.

After a moments pause Daryl placed the arrow on the table beside him, his voice more curious than reproachful as he spoke, "Thought you wanted to wait a while."

"I can't." Beth paused to draw in a shaky breath, leaning back against the door frame as if it would help hold her up as she continued in a rush. "I can't just keep waiting for something to happen. I can't just put everyone's life on hold for me." she could see Daryl opening his mouth to cut her off so Beth finished quickly. "I need to stop focusing on the past and look towards the future."

XxX

The next few days passed in a blur. He hadn't realized just how much preparation Aaron and Eric put into each of their recruitment missions. There were maps to be drawn, supplies to be packed, weapons to be tended too. Their days were packed so full that Daryl did not have a spare moment to worry about what could go wrong on their run.

Before he knew what was happening the last night before they left was drawing to a close. The tension in the house was so thick it felt like a living breathing thing. Saying goodbye used to be the easiest thing in the world for Daryl, partially because he hadn't really had anyone to say goodbye too. But as he listened to everyone tell him how they would see Beth and him in just a few weeks, as they acted like it was a certainty that they would both return unscathed, Daryl realized with a jolt that they might be saying goodbye right now. There were so little guarantees in this world, for all any of them knew this would be the last time they would see each other.

Later that night he tucked his arm behind his head and stared up at the ceiling, not fully excepting Beth to answer him as he whispered, "We're doing the right thing right? Leavin'?" He didn't know what he meant it was right for, whether it was the thought that they might be able to find and help people out there or that it would be right for them. That they both needed space from the walls that felt like they crept closer every night. Maybe it would even be right for Beth, maybe without so many reminders of what she didn't remember around her all the time her memories would become more forthcoming.

She was silent for so long that Daryl thought she might have fallen asleep but finally Beth turned onto her side and curled up against his chest. Her breath tickled his hair across his cheek as she whispered in his ear, "It's not leaving if you're coming back."

They rose before the dawn, in the early part of morning where the night had not quite yet burned off into daylight. Eric and Aaron had encouraged them to pack their car the night prior so that all they had to do in the morning was dress and grab their weapons. Daryl had thought that they had said their goodbyes to everyone the night before but he was not the least bit surprised to find everyone awake and crowded on their front porch as Beth and him walked out the door.

No one bothered with words this time, they'd sent people out on runs a hundred times before but they never knew when one was going to be the last time. Maybe it was the knowledge that they wouldn't be back for a few weeks or maybe it was the fact that neither him nor Beth had gone on a run since she'd been back and he'd been shot that had everyone on such a high edge. Whatever the reason, Daryl did not protest when Rick clapped him on his shoulder, his fingers bunching up the sleeve of his jacket as his hand tightened around him. Daryl met his eyes with a nod before turning to face Beth who was nodding as Maggie held her and whispered something in her ear.

He spied Aaron and Eric heading out of their house further down the street and he leaned over to tap Beth's elbow lightly, nodding towards the men when she looked back at him. With a tight smile on her face she turned back and gave Maggie one last hug and even from a few feet away Daryl heard Maggie's rough exhale as Beth pulled away from her. Silently promising them both that this wouldn't be the last time they saw each other Daryl shifted his bow higher up his shoulder and headed down the steps, Beth's boots clumping on the stairs as she headed after him.

They walked in silence towards the gate where two cars waited, fully gassed and ready to go. All they were waiting for was their drivers.

Aaron and Eric were already in their car, clearly waiting to see whether or not Beth and him would back out at the last minute. He met her eyes across the top of the car and she shook her head at his silent question of whether or not she wanted to stay behind.

They were doing this then. They were going.

As they both opened their car doors to clamor inside the woman guarding the gate began to slide it open. By the time the heavy metal had been pushed into place Beth and him had shut their doors.

He'd gone on runs a hundred times before but as Daryl cast a look in the rear view mirror at their family crowded in the street behind them he couldn't ignore the feeling that things weren't going to be the same when they returned. Turning slightly he met Beth's eyes and they exchanged a loaded look as she pulled her seat belt across her lap. The car's engine sounded immeasurably loud as Daryl turned the key in the ignition and slowly headed out into the world outside of the walls.

It took every ounce of his willpower not to watch in the rear view as the gates closed behind them.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am the worst when it comes to updating I know. I'm so sorry this story is taking 800 years for me to write it. On the bright side the last chapter is written and just needs to be edited before posting. Hopefully that won't take more than a day or two. The epilogue is also mostly written but that might not be up for another week. Again sorry for the delays and I hope you enjoy the chapter!

**Chapter Twenty-One**

They'd been on the road for nearly two weeks and they had yet to see a single sign of anyone living.

They had passed the place where Aaron and Eric had last searched for survivors a few days ago and the cars had since been reduced to a snail's crawl as they carefully mapped out each new area they passed. Street signs were written down and landmarks were made note of as their pair of cars crept steadily along. Daryl drove most of it while Beth carefully drew out the map of the area so that if they ever needed to return to this place in future trips they would know which streets to avoid and where fellow survivors were most likely to congregate. In between lengthy lulls of silence Daryl would ask her questions in the attempt to shake some of her memories lose but they stayed stubbornly locked in place like they had for the past few weeks.

Eventually even his questions drew to a halt as he tuned in to the shortness of her replies. Beth had tried to keep her irritation with herself out of her tone but it had begun to bleed into every aspect of her being, and her life. Like so many of their days had become this one too passed in silence broken only by directions or the noting of a landmark

By the time Eric's now familiar voice came over the walkie Beth had stuck in the cup-holder and told them they were going to stop for the night a thin air of frustration hung in the car although Beth was not sure who it was directed at. She knew that she was annoyed with herself because the progress she had steadily been making had been halted by some unseeable force but she was not sure if Daryl's annoyance stemmed from how short she had been with him lately or because he was angry with her for not trying harder to recover her past. She felt like she had been dredging through the broken mess of her mind with a fine toothed comb lately in the attempts to pull something worthwhile out of it but all she had gotten in return were fragmented scraps and a never ceasing pounding in her temples.

After driving down a few more deserted streets Aaron chose a small house at the end of a cul de sac for them to attempt camping in. It's backyard led straight into the woods providing them with cover to get away if things took a turn for the worse. They parked one of the cars at the end of the street and drove the other back a few blocks to confuse any living people that might stumble upon them and turn out to be the not so friendly sort. Once their cars were parked they cautiously made their way back to the blue two story. Daryl rapped his knuckles on the door three times before they waited with bated breath, weapons held up at the ready. When several minutes had passed in silence Daryl eased the door open, stepping inside of it quickly with his bow raised high.

Clearing the house did not take very long and after a quick meal of canned food, Aaron turning up his nose as Eric ate applesauce beside him, Beth and Daryl retreated upstairs to sleep while the others took the first watch. Once inside the small unfamiliar bedroom Beth felt some of the strain of the day leave her shoulders as she debated whether or not it would be worth the risk to sleep with her boots off. In the end she decided against it and crawled into the bed with her shoes still on, exhaustion taking her over mere seconds after her head hit the pillow.

XxX

He lay beside Beth in silence, her back to him as she slept fitfully. His fingers tapped against his chest as he tried to talk his mind into calming down enough to sleep, an exercise he already knew would be futile.

It seemed that this was the way things were going to be with them on the road, only one of them ever seemed to be able to sleep at a time. It had not passed Daryl's notice that the few times he did manage to get any sleep Beth always had dark circles under her eyes and an edge of perpetual annoyance that nothing seemed to shake off. When Daryl had tried to comment on her lack of sleep she had just brushed him off before slipping back into silence and he knew that her sleep patterns had just entered their 'do not discuss' zone, along with the progress of her memories.

Daryl wasn't sure when it had happened, this sense of unease between the two of them, but that wasn't surprising since he also wasn't one hundred percent sure of the cause. The first few days after they had left the walls had been surprisingly pleasant, even more so now in hindsight. Beth and him had talked about so many things that there was rarely a silent moment in their car and those that they had were always companionable and comforting. But somewhere along the way a switch had fallen and they now spent most of their days in silence, a wedge driven through them that had not been there since the early days after the prison fell.

He wasn't sure where the tension between them was coming from but he knew that his heart broke with the pain that was apparent on Beth's face whenever she thought that no one was looking. Daryl knew that it likely all stemmed from her attempts to pry out her memories and watching the toll the lack of progress was taking on her he was suddenly remorse that they were even trying. He didn't want to put Beth through any form of pain, ever, but every time that he tried to broach the subject with her Beth just shut down and he was at a loss for what to do. Daryl had seen Beth a lot of ways; broken down, angry, and hurt but never before had he seen her look so empty.

He kept trying to find a way to tell her that he didn't care anymore. It no longer mattered to him if her memories ever came back as long as she could be happy again now.

After a few hours of laying in the darkness Daryl suddenly tuned in to the minuscule shift in Beth's breathing and although she had not moved at all he knew that she was awake. He waited for her to fall back asleep but minutes passed and still her breathing stayed the same. He was overcome with the urge to reach over and touch her but the thought of her pulling away from his hands filled him with dread. Finally just the idea of her pulling away became too much for him and Daryl had to know if that's what she would do. If that was what their relationship had come down to.

Trying not to move too much he cautiously stretched his hand across the empty space between them, his fingers just brushing her arm. He waited in a stiff silence for Beth to bat his hand off or to roll away but instead he felt a thrill of relief course through him as she reached her hand up to twine her fingers through his.

XxX

Her head resting against the window of the truck Beth couldn't help but stare at her own face reflected back at her in the glass. She kept glaring at the offending scar on her forehead, the one that was the root of all of her problems.

The words Maggie had whispered to her before they left kept running through her mind as well, _'Don't push yourself too hard.'_ As if Beth could do anything but push at this point. Not that it was doing her any good, whatever cracks that had been in the wall blocking her memory seemed to have closed up. Nothing would come to her anymore.

Maggie was right, she'd pushed herself too hard and now she had broken everything.

"Do you wanna drive?" Daryl's voice suddenly broke through the darkness of her thoughts and Beth turned away from her reflection to look at him in surprise. This was the first time he had offered such a thing to her and she got the feeling that he greatly preferred to be behind the driver's wheel himself, that trusting himself to another's control of a vehicle was not his favorite thing to do.

She felt a rush of warmth towards him for offering her such a thing because she knew it was an intense sign of trust. She could see how much her own personal pain was affecting him so Beth tried to shake it off and put on a brave facade for him.

"I would but I probably shouldn't." Beth admitted with a sigh, looking at the wheel with longing. She missed driving, missed the feel of doing something productive even if it was from something as simple as eating up the miles underneath the wheels. But her distorted vision held her back, the memory of how she had almost run over Morgan at their first meeting was all too real in her mind.

"Why not?" Daryl grunted, his brows knitting together in confusion.

"Because of my eye." Beth said in surprise, perplexed that he had her clarify. When his look of confusion didn't dissipate she continued on haltingly, realizing with a surge of guilt that she had never in fact told him about the other side effects of her head wound. "Because of the black spots." she whispered, waving her hand in front of her left eye as if she could brush the blackness away from her sight with the motion.

For a long moment neither of them said anything but Beth noticed the whiteness of Daryl's knuckles as he clutched the wheel. She had just opened her mouth, whether to apologize for not telling him or something else she wasn't sure, but in the end it didn't matter because Daryl spoke before her.

"What else?" he muttered, his voice as tight as his grip on the wheel as Beth's shook her head at him in bewilderment. "What else did the bullet do?"

"Just my hand." Beth whispered, holding up the offending limb as she waggled her fingers guilty. "I can't really feel very much with it but at least I can move it now."

She had offered up the last part as a sign of hope, as a sign that she had at least made progress in _something_ , that some part of her had improved since her initial wound but Beth saw instantly that her words had the opposite of her intended effect.

The tension seemed to leave Daryl at her words and he slumped against the seat like a puppet whose strings had been cut. It looked as though he was fighting off the urge to fold in on himself as he whispered. "You couldn't move your hand?"

Beth knew from the hopelessness of his voice that he did not really intend his words as a question.

XxX

A thrum of guilt kept coursing through him, pounding harder with every beat of his heart and dimly Daryl wondered if this was his heart breaking for Beth. He could not believe that in the months since her return he had never even toyed with the possibility that her memory loss was not the only negative effect her head wound had given her. He could not shake the guilt that he had never even bothered to ask Beth if there had been any other effects, he'd known that she had gone to see Denise a few times since her arrival of course but he had always thought that those were just routine inspections, that the doctor had wanted to make sure her wound was healing properly not so that they could test how much feeling had returned to Beth's hand.

He knew that he was not the only one who had not known about these things but that knowledge did not make the guilt ease up any less. In fact it made it worse somehow, that no one in their group had bothered to ask Beth what else the bullet had done to her. They had all been so consumed with the loss of her memories that it had never even crossed their minds that the bullet could have presented Beth with other troubles.

Beneath all of his guilt however was a darker thought, one he kept trying to shake off but that stayed stubbornly in place.

Even if he hadn't asked, why hadn't Beth bothered to tell him?

XxX

After a few hours of driving in silence they pulled up in front of a small pharmacy, none of them actually hoping that they would find anything of use left inside but all of them feeling obligated to at least try.

"We'll go around back." Eric said, indicating himself and Aaron who followed him like they were parts of the same machine.

Beth followed after Daryl silently, their feet crunching on the broken glass of the door as they passed the threshold.

"I'm sorry." the words suddenly bubbled up past her lips of their own accord, as if she was no longer capable of holding them inside.

She saw Daryl stiffen but he made no move to turn to face her so Beth continued on in a rush. "I should have told you, about the other side effects." she swallowed roughly at the words, knowing they were true. "They just didn't seem important you know?" she was going to continue on, telling him about how even to herself comparing her hand and eye to her memory loss had just seemed so insignificant but the words died in her throat when Daryl whirled to face her.

"Not important?" he whispered, the anger in his voice laced with enough guilt that she knew it was not directed at her. "Beth, anything that has to do with you is important to me."

The words stirred something inside of her, shaking lose a name for the feelings she had for Daryl. Her mouth was open and she was gaping for words, for what words would be an appropriate response for something like that? The words might not have felt like much coming from some one else but Beth knew that coming from Daryl that was ridiculously close to the three words she found were sitting dangerously on her tongue.

Before she could say anything in response though a low growling filled her ears and her hand flew to her knife just as she saw Daryl raise his bow up as they both turned to scan the dilapidated pharmacy. Silently Beth cursed herself for letting her emotions get the better of her before they checked to make sure the area they were in was safe. She tried to make her breath as shallow as possible as her and Daryl turned to scan the shelves surrounding them. Beth picked her way carefully through the debris that scattered the floor, her ears tuned in to the growling enough to tell that there was only one walker nearby. She turned in time to catch Daryl's eye and she mouthed the word 'one' to him which he nodded to sharply. Beth wasn't surprised that he had already worked that out on his own.

The pharmacy wasn't that big and they were nearing the end of the aisles when Beth's foot suddenly got caught in the trash that cluttered the floor. She tried to yank her foot free but the motion only caused the object around her ankle, a chain of Christmas lights she noticed dimly, to rattle against the edge of the aisle. From the corner of her eye she saw Daryl turn towards her but before she could wave him off to say she was fine, just tangled, a pair of hands were suddenly gripping her upper arms.

Fear coursed through her but Beth clamped down on it immediately, shoving it to the back of her mind as she fought to pull herself free from the grip of the walker. She heard Daryl call out her name and she tried to pull herself far enough from the walker so that she could turn and make contact with her knife. Before she could manage such a maneuver the walker was suddenly pulled off of her and she watched with surprise as Daryl tackled it to the floor. He looked over his shoulder at her and caught her eye and she nodded at once, her hand tightening the grip on her knife before she really even understood why. All at once though Daryl rolled over, the walker's shoulders caught between his arms as he locked the walker's head in place. Trying not to look too closely at the torn skin that was left on it's face Beth rushed forward, placing her hand on it's torn shirt for balance as she thrusted her knife into it's skull.

Daryl pushed the body off of him with a nod of gratitude at her, and Beth reached down to help pull him to his feet. Just as she did so something clicked in her brain and she knew with a certainty that they had taken down a walker like this before. A wave of relief washed over her so strong that for a moment Beth found it hard to stand. She wasn't sure if the relief was because they were both okay or because she had remembered something after so long of silence but when Daryl asked her softly if she was okay Beth didn't bother with words and instead fell straight into his chest and wrapped her arms tight around him.

XxX

Daryl rose his arms to wrap around Beth without a second thought, surprised once again by how easily she fit against him. He was slightly confused as to why she was holding him so tightly, they had been in far more dangerous situations than this before, but he was not about to comment on it and ruin the moment. He let his chin rest on the top of her head before the sound of the back door opening drew him back to the present and he pulled away as the sound of Aaron and Eric entering reached them.

"You have any trouble in here?" Aaron asked as he slowly sheathed his knife as he saw that there seemed to be no immediate danger around them.

"Just this one." Beth said, nodding towards the walker at their feet. "How bad was it outside?" she asked as she bent to untangle her foot from the cords it was still wrapped in. Instinctively Daryl knelt to help her too, soaking in the appreciative smile Beth gave him at the help.

"Nothing we couldn't handle." Aaron reassured them as he grabbed a shopping basket from where it lay discarded on the floor. "Well it's all clear. Let's go shopping."

XxX

The atmosphere in the car had shifted drastically. Whereas before they had both been locked inside their own frantic minds now a sense of calmness seemed to have settled over them. Beth leaned her head back against the seat and studied Daryl from the corner or her eye, smiling at him shyly when he caught her staring. She opened her mouth to apologize for the bad mood she had been in for the past few days, to explain that he had not been the cause but her own frustrations at herself but before she could say anything Eric's voice came over the walkie, telling them they had found a good place to stay for the night.

Beth went through what had become their usual routine of parking the cars and doubling back to their potential nightly home, checking to make sure it was clear without a second thought. They had only been scoping places out for a few weeks and already her body moved through the motions on autopilot. She tried to stay more focused than usual on the task at hand, the close call at the pharmacy still fresh in her mind.

Eric and Aaron took the first watch as they always did and Beth followed Daryl upstairs to the bedroom they had spied earlier. Beth was still thinking over her apology to Daryl for the past few days when he spoke from behind her

"I'm sorry." Daryl mumbled just as Beth had decided to keep her shoes on again and had begun to climb into the bed fully dressed. She stopped and knelt on the bed as she looked over her shoulder at him as he clarified. "I'm not trying to push you into remembering things. I was just trying to help."

Beth smiled sadly as she patted the bed beside her, trying to let him know that she was not cross with him. "I know that Daryl and I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at me." he sat beside her on the bed and slowly Beth slipped her hand into his. "I'm sorry I'm not remembering more."

She leaned her head against Daryl's shoulder in time to feel him shake his head.

"Ain't your fault." there was a long pause and for a moment Beth wondered if Daryl had fallen asleep sitting up when he whispered. "Somethings still blocking you is all. Once we get past it your memories will come back."

Beth craned her neck to look up at him and Daryl looked down at her wordlessly in the gray light of twilight seeping through the open windows.

"You really think so?" she whispered softly, her voice catching on the last word.

Daryl nodded slowly before leaning down to press a soft kiss against her forehead. "I have faith." he whispered into her hair, causing Beth to smile as she closed her eyes and pressed her face closer to his chest.

XxX

They sat huddled together for a long moment before Beth spoke slowly, her words muffled by the leather of his vest.

"I did remember something today." she whispered, her voice hesitant as if she was unsure whether or not she should be sharing this with him.

A thrill of hope ran through Daryl at the words and he tried to squash it down forcefully. There was no point getting his hopes up when it came to her memories, their return was far too erratic for that.

"What was it?" he grunted, trying to focus on the fact that she was telling him about this at all even though her voice showed the hesitant she was feeling.

"The way we killed the walker today." she muttered, pulling back to eye him quizzically. "We've done that before haven't we?"

Daryl nodded shortly as he remembered how the move had become their signature, the easiest way to get walkers off each others backs without causing a mess. The weird thing was that he had never felt nervous about it, even the first time they tried the move without ever having discussed it first Daryl had known that Beth would know what to do. That she would have his back.

He was just happy that no matter what else had happened between them that fact hadn't changed.

XxX

Daryl's breath had long since grown easy with sleep and yet Beth still lay awake, her eyes watching the moonlight play across the ceiling as if the answers to all of her worries could be deciphered from it's shadows. Minutes ticked by into hours and finally she could stand the stillness no longer. It took her the space of several breaths to slide out from underneath Daryl's arm and out of the bed without waking him but she managed. Her feet moved nearly soundlessly across the carpeted floor and Beth marveled silently at the ease with which she treated a stranger's home like her own.

The hallway was dark around her and she kept one hand on the wall as she slowly made her way downstairs. She could see Aaron walking past the front windows on the porch outside and for a brief moment she considered going outside and joining him and Eric on watch but she dismissed the idea quickly. Beth wasn't entirely sure what she was seeking in this house but company was not it.

She made her way through the main floor of the house slowly, eyeing the faces in the pictures frames with curiosity. She couldn't help but wonder if all of these nameless faces were still alive out there somewhere, or if all of those people had since perished.

Beth ran her fingers lightly through the dust on a long table in the hallway, picking up a book with curiosity as she entered the back room of the house. The book's title did not hold her interest so she let it fall from her fingers onto the couch as she came further inside the room. Something stirred inside of her chest as she caught sight of a large black shape nestled in the corner of the room.

Drawn to it like a moth to a flame Beth approached it slowly, her fingers brushing lightly over the ivory keys so softyl that they produced no sound. She was still marveling at it's beauty when a voice spoke quietly from behind her.

"Probably shouldn't play that."

Beth turned at the familiar sound of Daryl's voice, relieved that the tension that had been tugging at them for days seemed to have passed.

"I wasn't." she whispered in return, bending her knees to sit at the piano's bench. She heard Daryl's footsteps approaching her but she could not seem to tear her eyes away from the piano. "It's just so beautiful." she whispered, running her fingers over the cold keys again and wishing she could press them and hear their sounds. Beth had no idea if her hands would be able to produce anything resembling actual music from the piano but her skin was suddenly itching with the desire to try. But Beth knew that the sound of the keys would only bring the dead to them so with a surge of disappointment she pulled her hands off the keys, going so far as to place them underneath her thighs in the hopes to squelch the urge building inside of her. She felt something flicker in the back of her mind and she was just reaching out inside of her to grab it when Daryl spoke again from where he had settled on the couch.

"Maybe you could sing something?"

His voice was hesitant, halted, as if he was unsure of whether or not he could ask that of her. Beth cast him a grateful smile over her shoulder as she wondered how it was that he always seemed to know exactly what it was that she needed.

"Okay." she whispered before turning back to the piano, she knew that she could not play it but the sight of it's ivory keys gleaming in the moonlight filled her with a strange sense of calm. Beth searched inside her for the song she wanted to sing and she had grown so used to songs coming to her from the recesses of her mind that she was not even surprised when the words that spilled out of her lips were ones she could not remember having sung before.

"It's unclear now what we intend we're alone in our own world." Beth heard Daryl draw a sharp intake of breath from behind her but the sound only registered in the back of her mind as a strange pulsing began in her temple. She shook it off even as a shudder ran through her, the words stopping as she glared at the piano and tried to place where the unsettled feeling was coming from.

There was the briefest bit of silence until Daryl whispered from behind her, "Keep singin'."

Beth's spine straightened on instinct, her hands shifting out from beneath her thighs to grip the bench beneath her as her whole body went rigid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: The song Beth sings is 'Be Good' by Waxahatchee.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Okay so apparently I didn't need a day to edit this. Here's the last chapter! Epilogue will be up ASAP. Thanks for reading lovelies!

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

His hunter senses started tingling and Daryl felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise as he straightened in his chair. Beth hadn't moved from the piano bench but her shoulders had suddenly curved forward as if a giant weight was resting on them.

He waited for her to move or to say something but after the space of several heartbeats Daryl could take it no longer. His fingers curled into the ugly paisley pattern of the couch to stop himself from raising and rushing to her as she huddled by the piano.

"Beth?" he whispered, his voice choking on her name. For a moment more she still didn't move before her spine suddenly straightened and she turned painfully slowly to cast a wild eyed look over her shoulder at him.

He wasn't sure if it was a trick of the poor lighting or if he was simply seeing what he wanted to see but Daryl could swear that there was a ghost of something in Beth's eyes as she looked at him. There was a weight to her gaze that had not been there a moment ago.

Neither of them said anything and Daryl finally wrapped his mind around what the look had to mean. "You remembered something?" he asked softly, almost afraid to ask the words aloud. Their fight from the last few days was still fresh in his mind but he could not keep the question in any longer as Beth stared at him.

He'd been so certain that she was going to say yes, that a memory was what was causing the look in her eyes that when she slowly shook her head no Daryl felt some small part of him begin to fracture. Before it could do very much damage Beth spoke, her eyes darting to the floor as she shook her head. "No." her voice was barely more than a breath as her eyes drifted back up to meet his and she whispered, "I remember everything."

XxX

It felt as if there was a flood running through her and all Beth could do was ride it out. It was like all of her neurons and synapses had just clicked back into place and broken down the walls that had been blocking out her past. Memories kept assaulting her, memories she had barely remembered before she had gotten shot and Beth welcomed them all with open arms as she dug her fingers into her thighs as if the pressure would remind her that she was awake.

Daryl was simply staring at her blank faced and if she didn't know him so well (so much better than she had ever thought she could now that she had her memories back) she would have thought he hadn't heard her. But Beth knew that he was just trying to figure out what emotion he was feeling before he projected it outwards but she found that she couldn't wait that long.

She suddenly felt like she understood a little of how her family must have been feeling these past few months, where all they wanted to do was hold her and revel in the fact that she was alive and she hadn't let them. A part of her cringed at her actions but a larger part of her understood why she'd done what she'd done and she felt immeasurably grateful for her family for letting her go at her own pace. But mostly she felt an intense pull to the man sitting across from her for all he'd done for her, both before and after she had been torn away from him.

Daryl was still silent but Beth found that she could sit still no longer. She couldn't even imagine how much strength it had taken him to give her the distance she needed when she first arrived but for once Beth let herself not be strong. If he needed distance in that moment, Beth couldn't give it to him. She felt like he was going to disappear from sight at any second, as if he was merely a ghost or an apparition that she'd created. Like she really had died when she'd been shot and everything that had happened since had been her own personal hell.

Her feet made small shuffling noises against the carpet as she took a step towards him and the sound caused Daryl to blink and look up at where she was standing. His gaze made her stop and for a fraction of a second Beth paused, suddenly unsure of herself.

But then Daryl was reaching his hand out towards her and opening his mouth to speak. His hand closed around hers and she let him pull her down onto the couch beside him before she turned and rose her free hand up to his chin. Daryl still looked like he was about to say something and Beth was certain that the word his lips were about to form was her name but he never got to say it. Their breaths mixed together as Beth pulled his face down to meet hers.

And she'd kissed Daryl before, she knew that, she remembered that, but this time something felt different. She'd always thought that every time they kissed Daryl was somehow saying that he knew all of her dark parts, all her shameful secrets, and yet he wanted to be with her anyway. That he loved her in spite of and because of them.

And now Beth finally felt like she could tell him that too.

XxX

It took a surprisingly long time for them to stop kissing, as if they had just found out that this was their last night on earth and they only had hours left. Even if that did turn out to be true Daryl thought that it might almost be worth it to go with the feeling of Beth's body underneath him.

He hadn't realized it until she'd kissed him but he'd been just as scared of her remembering him as he was of her never remembering him. Daryl had always sort of thought that Beth might have been with him because she felt like she had too, she'd thought that they had once been a couple after all and even once that had been sorted out Daryl had still been scared that she only stayed with him like she did because she felt obligated. Like she had started something and now she had to see it through until the end. But the second her lips had touched his that fear had fled from his mind.

Daryl knew that they had a lot that they needed to talk about, Beth had remembered _everything_ for Christ's sake, but neither of them seemed to be in a hurry to start the conversation. It wasn't that Daryl didn't want to talk about her memories, quite the opposite actually. He wanted to pick her mind for every little thing that she now knew. He wanted to ask her about the bitterness of moonshine, and if she remembered how bright the shack had burned against the blackness of the night. He wanted to know if she'd remembered her mom, her family, hell the name of her fourth grade teacher for all he cared. He wanted to ask her all the questions about her life that he'd never asked before, to learn all the things about her that he thought he'd lost the privilege to know but Daryl just could not bring himself to tear his mouth from hers.

Beth clung to him with just as much desperate fervor as was coursing through his blood and before he really knew what was happening he was laying on top of her, running his hands up and down her arms as her fingers got hopelessly tangled in his hair. One of her feet was slowly running up his calf when a sudden sound from the doorway broke them apart.

Daryl was so busy cursing himself for getting so distracted when they were surrounded by danger that he'd drawn his knife before he realized that the figure in the doorway was Aaron, who'd risen his hands up in mock defense at the sight of the blade.

"If you wanted privacy that much you should've stayed in the bedroom." he joked causing Daryl's ears to heat up in embarrassment even as Beth let out a breathless giggle from beneath him.

She slipped out from underneath him as he sheathed his knife and grumbled, "Just kinda happened." The minute he said anything he cursed, certain that he had just opened the door for a slew of mockery but all Aaron did was drop his hands to his sides and nod.

"I get it. Gotta keep the romance alive." he rose an eyebrow at them as he pointed his thumb towards the front door. "Just don't keep it alive while you're on watch alright?"

XxX

Daryl had given her a look as they were heading outside to keep watch and Beth knew he was asking her if she was going to tell Aaron and Eric about her memories. She was going to of course, there was no way that she was going to keep this to herself, but she had shaken her head minusculely, waving a goodnight to the couple as Daryl and her headed out into the chilly night. She would tell them first thing in the morning, before they were even fully awake yet. But right now, the first person she wanted to share the return of her memories with was standing right beside her.

Once they were outside however she found that all of her words had failed her. Beth had so many thoughts racing through her head she barely had time to acknowledge each one, let alone decide which one she wanted to say aloud first. She had so many things she wanted to say to Daryl, she wanted to talk to him about things that only they knew about, she wanted to ask him if he would have finished his thought that night if the dog hadn't shown up. She wanted to thank him for being there for her all this time, for never pushing her into remembering or becoming someone that she wasn't. She wanted to reassure him that everything she felt for him was real. It was the realest thing she had felt in a long time.

As she was mulling all of this over she couldn't help but wonder if this was how Daryl had felt this whole time since she had returned. Like he had a million things to say at once but not enough words to say it so that she would understand.

She was still trying to decide what to say first so Beth couldn't say which one of them was more surprised when the first words that fell from her lips were, "I'm so sorry."

Daryl started slightly, turning his eyes from the empty street before them to look down at her in the moonlight. "For what?"

His voice was laced with a confusion that Beth herself echoed for a moment before she found what it was she was apologizing for.

"All this time," she had to pause to swallow down the sudden lump in her throat as she looked up at him. "All this time you never pushed me. You must have had so many things to say and you never made me hear them. I'm sorry I wasn't able to listen."

Daryl looked at her for a long moment before he turned to scan the street again. Satisfied that it was empty he turned back to Beth, raising his hands to cup her face. His voice was low but intense as he whispered. "It didn't matter to me what you said, or what you did, because you were _there_. You were alive which was more than I thought was possible."

Beth sucked in a breath of surprise, she couldn't remember the last time she had heard Daryl talk so much at once. The pads of his fingers were cool against her skin but his gaze was full of heat as he looked down at her.

"You might not have known all the things that I did, the things I wished you did, but after a while it stopped mattering." Daryl shrugged almost hopelessly as he looked down at her, his eyes pleading as if he was begging her to understand. "You were _alive_ Beth. After that, nothing else mattered."

And she still had a million words to say to him but at that moment Beth decided that they could wait just a little longer and she took a step to close the distance between them before standing on her tiptoes and pressing a kiss tightly to his lips.

XxX

He was reluctant to open his eyes when he woke up certain in that space of time that everything that had happened the night before had all just been a dream. Daryl tried to shove away the thoughts of Beth having all of her memories back because he did not want her to be able to see the disappointment he would undoubtedly feel when it turned out to not have been real.

Instead he felt her small hands tighten where they were wrapped around his waist and he rose his own hands to place over hers, silently mulling over how tiny her hands felt in his own. Beth nuzzled her nose against the back of his neck and her breath tickled across his skin as she whispered, "I thought I might forget. While I was sleeping I mean." Daryl shifted slightly onto his back so that he could see her face as she smiled at him. "But it's all still there." she whispered, her voice as disbelieving as he felt.

"You remember?" he whispered, hating that he was asking but knowing that he had too.

Beth nodded before kissing his forehead, her lips just brushing his skin as she whispered. "I remember."

Once they told Aaron and Eric about Beth's sudden recovery of her memories the men had been ecstatic for her, going so far as offering to turn around and head back to the camp that day so that Beth could truly reunite with her family again. It was clear that the offer had tempted her but in the end she had shaken her head and turned it down, reminding them all that they only had a few more miles or so of territory that they had planned to map out before the end of this trip. It seemed redundant to turn back now when they were so close to finishing.

Whereas before their time in the car had been tense and silent now they could not seem to stop talking, as if they were both trying to fill up as much space as they could with their words. Daryl felt a little thrill every time Beth began a sentence with the phrase "Do you remember?" which happened about every six sentences. He was surprised by how much she remembered from their time together, even some details had slipped his notice. Beth couldn't seem to get over the fact that he had never noticed the turtle shell on the porch of the house they had set on fire.

"Thank you." Beth said suddenly, the smile slipping from her face as she looked over at him solemnly.

"For what?" Daryl grunted, thrown by the sudden shift in her mood.

"For being there for me." she said simply, leaning her head back against the seat as she watched him from the corner of her eye.

Daryl couldn't find the words to tell her that it was nothing to thank him for since being there for her had been the only thing he had wanted to do in a long time, especially since her arrival. Saying nothing he grabbed her hand from where it rested on her lap and brought her knuckles up to his lips to press a kiss against them as he stared down at the long road before them.

XxX

The days it took for them to return to Alexandria seemed to simultaneously drag on and fly by. One moment it seemed like they would never get there and then Beth felt like she blinked and they were suddenly pulling through the front gate. She tried to hide her anxiety at seeing everyone again, _really_ seeing them but either she was not hiding it as well as she thought or Daryl could read her better than she had realized because right before she opened the door to get out he reached over and squeezed her knee in reassurance.

They exchanged a small smile, no words needed at this point because what was there left for them to say?

Beth got out of the car slowly, the town before her looking unchanged and yet somehow completely new to her. Duly she wondered if this was how things were going to feel for her for awhile, on the one hand new and on the other entirely familiar. As Daryl crossed around the front of the car to reach her she stuck her hand in the pocket of her jeans, closing her fingers tightly around the chain of her father's pocket-watch and allowing herself one brief moment of weakness in imagining that it was really his hand that she was holding.

"You ready?" Daryl asked from beside her, his voice soft as he looked down at her. Beth did her best to smile at him before she let go of the watch and turned towards the car to pull their bags from it.

"Of course." she tried to say it brightly but even she could hear the nerves behind her words. Beth had been waiting to remember her family for so long, and to reunite with them for so much longer. But now that she knew that the moment was finally coming she felt so anxious she was almost sick. Shouldering her pack she tried to find the reason for her nerves but it was lost to her.

Finally they bid goodbye to Aaron and Eric who offered her one last congratulations at the return of her memories, as if she had somehow actually done something to bring them back, before they turned and walked quietly towards their home. Needing just a bit more courage Beth stuck her hand back into her pocket to clutch her father's watch and after a few steps she felt Daryl's fingers brush her other hand and she slipped her fingers through his to cling to him tightly.

The front steps had never seemed quite so daunting to Beth as they did now. She knew that right on the other side of that door were pieces of her family, people who had been waiting for her to truly return to them since she'd arrived months ago.

Suddenly breathless Beth turned to look back at Daryl who stood just behind her on the front lawn.

"You think they'll be excited?" she asked softly, the question that seemed so inane suddenly filling her stomach with giddiness.

"Nah." Daryl said, shaking his head before he poked her lightly on the arm. "They're gonna go insane."

"How do I tell them?" Beth asked softly, barely managing to swallow around the lump in her throat. She'd been waiting for this moment for so long, and the people behind the door even longer, but she had never bothered to think up the words she would give others if her memories ever came back.

"Just tell them the truth." Daryl whispered as he took a small step forward to stand beside her. Beth could feel her heartbeat thudding a bruise against her rib-cage before he squeezed her fingers lightly. Beth turned her head to smile at him gratefully but all Daryl did was nod his head in the direction of the house.

Curling her fingers around his to a point that was likely dangerous for his circulation Beth took a deep breath before raising her foot to the steps. Her cowboy boots made hollow thunking noises as she walked up the steps, Daryl's nearly silent tread right beside her. For one crazy moment Beth paused in front of the door as she wondered if she was supposed to knock or not. Finally she reminded herself that memories or not it was still her house and she still lived there. With that thought in mind she rose her trembling hand to the doorknob, Daryl's hand tightening on her other one in encouragement. As the door swung open the noise of the house hit them and Beth took a step back in shock as she realized they had returned on the night of the weekly dinners.

Beth drew in a deep breath as she realized that this meant she would not have to wait to find everyone and tell them her good news. However she still could not get her feet to move to tell anyone anything.

From inside the house she heard Rick call Daryl's name as he caught sight of them framed in the doorway. Daryl squeezed her hand tighter as he bent closer to her to whisper in her ear, "Go tell them."

Words were still evading her as she took a small step into the room. She'd seen these peoples' faces a hundred times since she'd arrived in Alexandria but never before had she felt the rush of warmth that overcame her upon the sight of them turning towards the door with looks of relief and joy at seeing her and Daryl return safely. Beth was still trying to settle on the best words to tell them when Maggie turned the corner out of the kitchen, her face breaking into a smile as she saw Beth.

Suddenly words didn't seem to matter to her anymore and Beth let go of Daryl's hand as she took a tiny step towards her sister, her pack falling from her shoulder to land on the floor with a thud. The small noise set something off in her and all of a sudden Beth felt like she had to reach her sister immediately. Barely managing to keep herself from running Beth rushed across the room, throwing her arms around her sister the moment she was within reaching distance.

Maggie stumbled back a step in surprise before she slowly rose her arms to wrap around Beth. As her arms closed around her back Beth felt like she understood the feeling that had caused Maggie to wrap her arms around her the night she'd first walked into this house. She felt a pang of sadness for all the pain her sister must have been in in the weeks that followed and at the thought that she could finally cause some of that pain to ease the words finally dislodged themselves from her throat.

"I remember you." she felt Maggie suck in a deep breath at the words and Beth projected her voice louder so that everyone could hear her as she finally told them the words they'd been waiting to hear for so long, "I remember everything."

XxX

Everyone hugged her for longer than he had expected, for almost longer than he could stand, but Daryl did not begrudge them this. This moment that they had all been waiting for for so long that even though he had known about the return of her memory for days now, it still didn't feel real. He kept waking up and expecting her to turn to him with that look in her eyes from all those months ago, that moment when she truly had no idea who any of them were.

There was no such look in Beth's eyes now. Her eyes, her whole being, seemed to radiant with joy as Carol pressed a kiss against the side of her forehead, her lips landing only inches from the scar that had nearly taken her from him twice. Once in death and once in memory.

Daryl was so lost in his thoughts that it took him several breaths to realize that Rick was standing beside him and not waiting in the throng of people waiting to embrace Beth, their Beth, across the room.

"How'd it happen?" Rick asked softly, his voice full of wonder as he watched Beth wrap her arms around his son with a smile.

A thousand answers raced through Daryl's mind, none of which that he could honestly state with certainty were true. Maybe the block in her brain finally let up, maybe something had triggered everything lose. Perhaps it had been God or miracles or magic but in the end only one thought made it past Daryl's lips, the only thing that he knew was true.

"Does it matter?"

He felt Rick eye him for a moment from the corner of his eye before he turned back to watch as Carl pulled away from Beth only to have Michonne almost immediately take his place.

"No." Rick whispered, that edge of wonder still in his voice as he agreed with Daryl. "I guess not."

After what felt like ages it seemed as if everyone had finally hugged Beth, some more than once, and they all seemed satisfied that she was truly there again. That she was really theirs. Once everyone had stepped back enough to let her out of the mob they had created Beth turned and headed towards Daryl as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

She could not hide the smile on her face as she went to stand beside him and for once Daryl did not care what others would think. His hand closed the few inches of space between them and her fingers opened on instinct to interlace with his. He was so focused on the thrill he felt holding Beth's hand in front of their family that he almost missed it when Father Gabriel whispered to no one in particular.

"I always knew that pray would bring her back to us."

The words stirred something inside of Daryl and at first he thought that it was the man's use of the word 'us' as if he somehow had some claim on Beth simply by being included, however loosely, in their group. Beth had never left him, no matter how many times he had prayed for the return of her memories he was not allowed to say that she had ever in any way been his.

But underneath the annoyance of the father's use of pronouns was another feeling, one of disagreement. It took Daryl a moment to understand what else in the man's words had unsettled him but then it became clear to him.

Gabriel was acting as if Beth had not truly been here since she had arrived, as if all the parts of her had disappeared with her memory. But Daryl knew that wasn't the case, she had always been Beth even when he himself had not thought she had been. She had always been there, just under the surface, waiting for the moment when she could pull herself up for air. Having her here, even without her memories, had been nothing compared to how it had been when they had thought her to be dead. At that time Daryl had been lost, to everyone and everything but the Beth his own mind had created as a form of comfort. When he thought she was dead his very veins felt like lead and he had felt like a hollow shell of himself until the moment she had arrived in this very room and his heart had finally begun beating again.

"No." Daryl whispered, not even realizing he had spoken aloud until he noticed everyone turning their gazes to him. He ignored them as he looked down at Beth, who leaned slightly against his arm as she smiled up at him curiously.

Gabriel was wrong, once she had arrived there had been no Beth to come back to them because she was already here. Daryl knew what it was like to lose Beth, they all did. Her being gone was like a gaping wound in his chest that would never fully heal. Having her here, even without her memories was nothing compared to that.

"She was never really gone."


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up that this is written from a different perspective than the rest of the story. It's a bit different but this is how I knew I wanted to end the story from the beginning. I started this because of how hurt I was by what was done to Beth on the show and how her future was taken away so I wanted to know that there was at least one version of her story where she got at least some of the happiness she deserved. Thank you all so much for reading this story and for your wonderful feedback. I hope you enjoyed this story even a fraction of how much I loved writing it.

**Epilogue**

All stories must come to an end; even nightmares, even love stories and even those rare magical stories that somehow are both.

There were many names for the epidemic that brought the dead back to life, for the war against nature that came extremely close to wiping out the human race. Nature could be cruel and this was one time where it seemed intent on never letting up until the last of humanity was crushed and extinguished. But nature had not counted on how hard the human race was willing to fight back.

Many of the names called it a war which was strange because in the end they weren't really fighting the dead, they were just trying to outlive them. There were several different variations of the events that brought the worst of the war to an end, of the subsequent actions that brought the dead under control but in the end the telling of the history wasn't really that important. What was important was the one simple fact that all the stories agreed on.

The war, the epidemic, whatever you wanted to call it: it ended.

Months after it was over, when there had been no reports over the wire of an attack from the dead in weeks and once a semblance of government had been created in the remains of the nation's capitol they began plans for the construction of a monument. It was built in the remains of the national mall, a giant stone fountain, upon each stone was carved a name of someone lost during the epidemic. There were so many names that they all seemed to blur together, the ones underneath the water's surface shimmering in the light. But despite how many tens of thousands of names lay on the stones everyone knew that they would never have all the names of the dead on them. Some people truly were lost forever.

The day the fountain was turned on there was a parade in the capitol and in several other large cities the nation over. That very same day in a small community fifteen miles south of the city two white vans started down the road and never looked back.

They went to the only place they could think of, the only place that they would ever be able to call home in this new ash covered world. When they arrived the only building still left standing was the house, standing stubbornly among the ruins of the farm, it's door blown open wide as if to say, 'Welcome home. I've been waiting for you.'

It took the group days to simply clear the debris from the property, and weeks longer to begin the much needed restoration to the house itself. Much like their group it had taken a beating over the years but despite everything thrown it's way it remained stubbornly upright.

Late one day when there had seemed to be less fall of the hammer than usual, when all the broken items seemed to have finally been cleared from the house and the grounds a small trio walked across the overgrown fields to an outcropping that gazed down at the land below them.

"This was were you grew up Mama?" a wide blue eyed girl asked, tugging on her father's hand as she tried to lean out over the edge to see the earth spread out underneath her feet.

"Mhmm." Beth muttered in consent, rubbing her hand absentmindedly over her swollen belly. "And now it's where you and your little brother or sister will grow up."

"Did you grow up here too Daddy?" their daughter asked curiously, turning from the view to stare up expectantly at her father.

Daryl shook his head as he ran his hand through his daughter's unruly brown hair. "No. I grew up a long ways from here." Neither he nor Beth bothered to explain that he did not grow up far in distance but in lifestyle. Maybe one day they would briefly tell her the troubles of her father's youth, the torment and the abuse he had suffered that had made his own hands tremble in fear the first few times he had held her. But those memories were not going to soil this day.

The trio looked out at the land for a long moment before a rustling from behind them drew all of their attention. Despite the fact that they had not seen a walker in over a month both Beth and Daryl's hands flew to their weapons on instinct as their eyes scanned the treed area behind them for the source of the noise. But despite their hunter's vision it was their daughter who caught sight of it first, who let go of her father's free hand to point and cry out in happiness, "Horsie!"

Approaching them cautiously from the treeline came a chestnut colored horse, her gait halting as if she was walking with a limp or was very old. Beth's breath rushed out of her at the sight, like a ghost was walking towards her. She saw Daryl lower the bow from the corner of her eye and she dropped her own hand from her knife as she took a small step forward. She saw the horse's eyes widen and for a heart wrenching moment she wondered if she was going to bolt but miraculously she stayed still as Beth rose her hand to shoulder height and walked slowly forward. The rest of the world seemed to fall silent around her as they all waited to see what the horse would choose, stay or run? The question they had all been faced with at one time or another.

As she drew closer Beth felt her heart beating loudly against her chest as she wondered when the horse was going to turn tail and run. She kept her eyes locked with the horse's so when her hand finally made contact with the horse's nose she wasn't sure who was more surprised.

"Nelly." she whispered, before running her hand down her horse's face. This close she could see the scars marring her body, the way she held her back left hoof off the ground as if it was injured. The weary look in her horse's gaze was not unfamiliar to her, she knew it was one that she herself had worn over the years.

From behind her she heard Daryl call softly, "Is that the damn horse that threw me?" and a smile came to her lips at the words.

"You should have asked to borrow her first." she called back softly, giggling when Nelly bickered in apparent consent. She ran her hand down her neck, the bumpy ridges of scars rough beneath her fingertips as she whispered, "It's funny how things always have a way of coming back to us in the end."

As the days passed the group slowly stopped feeling the need to look over their shoulders. With each day of safety under their belts they fell more and more into a routine. Time began to pass more slowly as less of the farm needed repairing. They had all grown so accustomed to fighting for every moments of their lives that none of them were used to having time to spare. Boredom had become something almost foreign to all of them and facing it again was perhaps the greatest sign that they could truly be safe there. As their first year on the farm drew to a close they began to realize that something was missing from it. Beth couldn't remember who came up with the idea for the monument but she knew that of all the changes they made to her family's farm over the course of her lifetime that was by far her favorite.

They built it behind the graves of her brother and mother and Carol's daughter. They used some of the stone's from the spilled marker that had been meant for Otis, both Maggie and her reassuring the others that the gentle man would not have minded. Inspired by the national monument they each took turns carefully carving the names of the people they had lost into the stones before they fashioned it painstakingly into a wall circling the tree that shadowed the graves.

They left the names facing outwards so that whenever they walked by they could glance at the stone and see a name and feel like maybe for just that moment the people they had lost were there with them. The day they carved the names had been one of the toughest ones of Beth's life and she had faced more than her fair share of hardships in her time. She had sat on the front porch with Daryl on one side of her, their newborn son in his arms, and her sister on the other side as they looked up and watched their children tumble on the grass together, their laughter the only thing able to pull them out of the darkness of their memories.

Beth's fingers trembled as she helped her sister carve the names for their lost family members and when Maggie broke down in sobs beside her she carefully took the stone from her hands and with as much care as she handled her children with she carved the name of Maggie's late husband and her own dear friend.

The weight of their dead seemed heavy on them that day and Beth could barely stand to see some of the names carved into the stone their deaths were still so fresh in her mind. But seeing their names all together, with Tyreese beside Bob, Abraham settled between Eugene and Gabriel, Noah and Glenn nestled by Lori, somehow that made the pain ease up a little more. As they stared at the sheer number of their losses the childrens' laughter suddenly peeled out from behind them and Beth remembered something Andrea had told her a long time ago. Staring at the stone her name was carved in Beth whispered the words for everyone else, "The pain doesn't go away, you just make room for it."

And they did.

There had always been a small town a few miles south of the Greene farm and as the years of peace became clear they were going to stick more people came to it; whether they were returning home from a long time gone or had simply passed through one day and decided that they wanted to stay didn't matter to anyone. The town slowly grew in population and as it did the numbers on the farm dwindled as everyone spread out to other houses. No one ever went very far, they all circled around like the farmhouse was the heart string that tied them all together. The only one who went further than ten miles away was Sasha who left early in the morning one day leaving behind her a simple note bearing only two words, _I can't._

The years passed slowly compared to the horror and terror that had been their lives for so long. People fell in and out of love, children were born and people were lost. Daryl and Beth toyed with the idea of marriage, of making their love somehow more official, before they decided that they loved each other enough that a ring wasn't going to change anything.

Maggie and Glenn's son, Hershel, lived up to his namesake and fell in love with the land, able to raise plants from even the driest of years. Rick became the sheriff of the town and after a few years he stopped cringing when he pinned on his badge. Carol tried to settle into this calm life and after long enough of pretending that she was okay with it she finally seemed to be. Carl matured into manhood although in some rare moments Beth saw some childish wonder in him and she had to fight back tears that the world had not managed to squish that out of him.

The day Beth bore her third child she swore to Daryl and anyone in earshot that this was the last one, she could not handle another birth. Daryl didn't seem to care, but as always he couldn't seem to focus on anything beside their newborn child.

In the end the only thing that drew their attention from their daughter was a knock on the door. Maggie went to answer it as Beth ran a finger down her daughter's cheek, silently wondering who would come to their house and actually bother with knocking.

She heard voices in the hall but she did not look up until she heard footfalls in the doorway. Maggie's smile stretched across her face and her hand rested on the shoulder of a very road weary and disheveled looking Sasha. She opened her mouth, looking confused as to the words she wanted to say before she finally settled on, "How are you feeling?"

Beth smiled at her as her mind raced back to a moment what felt like a hundred lifetimes ago when she had asked her the same question only about someone else's daughter. Judith leaned against the bed frame making faces down at the newborn and Beth wondered with a jolt if she had ever shared that memory with her.

"I'm fine." she smiled, reaching her hand out for the older woman to beckon her closer. "Welcome home."

Having Sasha return felt like a gaping hole had been filled. Beth didn't think any of them had actually realized how much it hurt for them to be missing one of their number while knowing that they were still alive out there. The years passed more quickly after that, Rosita and Tara finally stopped making jokes that Maggie and her son should move in with them. Carl moved in with a girl in town and Nelly's heart finally gave out. Late one afternoon Daryl walked in on Michonne and Rick kissing and Beth had to give him her desert for a week because she was certain that they had been a couple for far longer than what they admitted too.

Eventually the days all blurred into one, nothing standing out now that there was no constant danger breathing down their necks. A few of their number began passing, not for anything dangerous but because everyone had limited time on Earth. They buried Carol beside her daughter and carved her name into the stones. A few months later Morgan followed.

Beth and Daryl's children moved out to begin lives and families of their own. To start off down the paths that Daryl had never been offered and that had been stolen from Beth. Neither of them held any grudges at all and they both watched with pride the day their son was wed and the days their eldest graduated from college. Children were born and more of their number died, Tara's name carved into the wall with Rosita mere weeks later.

Not long after that Daryl's breathing began to get more labored and his lungs seemed to be giving out on him. Beth knew what it was of course, it was the death he could not outrun.

"You know they say the mind is the first to go. Soon you won't remember us at all." Beth joked as she leaned against his chest, her heart breaking with every shaky breath that he drew. She would give all that she had for him to keep living, to keep going and stay beside her forever. But she knew from the slow beats of his heart that there was not much time left. Besides she would not wish memory loss on anyone, least of all the love of her life.

"Me, forget you?" Daryl rose his hand shakily to cup her face. Slowly his thumb brushed the single tear that had leaked out of her eyes away. "Never."

He did not make it past a few more breaths after that and Beth tried to stave off her tears as she fumbled at her belt for her knife. Death had been a part of her life for so long that this next necessary moment should have felt routine to her but her hands were shaking so badly that she could barely hold the knife let alone come up with the force to actually use it to any good.

She heard movement from behind her and knew without turning that it was Rick, he took the knife from her slowly, nodding at Michonne to lead Beth from the room as he turned back towards Daryl.

"Don't look Beth." he whispered but she had to see one last glimpse of Daryl's face. She looked over her shoulder in time to see Rick brush a lock of Daryl's hair tenderly from his slack face before Michonne reached up and covered her eyes as she led her from the room.

The years following Daryl's death made very little impression on Beth.

She knew things happened of course, and for the good ones she would try to be present. Judith got married and her eldest daughter gave birth to her second son. Then Maggie got sick and Hershel had to take on more responsibilities around the farm causing a thick surge of guilt to lay on Beth. Her youngest daughter came home from school far too often under the guise of free laundry but Beth overheard her and her cousin talking about their mothers in worried tones in the kitchen. In the end what pulled Beth from her grief was the thought that Daryl would never get to see these moments, to have these memories. She needed to soak up as much of life as she could for him.

So she did. Beth did everything she could, went everywhere she could manage until old age finally caught up with her and moving hurt her too much. Even as her body weathered around her, her bones frail and the sight in her left eye completely gone, her mind remained sharp and she never forgot a name or a face. As more and more names were carved into the wall outside Beth remembered the night so many years passed when she had told Daryl that he was going to be the last man standing. It turned out that she had been wrong about that, she was the last one left.

She had never thought that she would outlive so many of their number, had been sure in the early days of the outbreak that she did not have what it took to survive in this new world. At the very least she had never thought that she would see old age and yet here she was, an old woman and the last member of her ragtag family that forged in the heat of the world burning around them.

Hershel continued to run the farm long after his mother passed and when he died of lung cancer his daughter took over, as tough as the soil she planted in. Beth watched generations pass through the house as she waited for death to greet her and one night she was pulled from slumber by an unknown force and she just knew. Her time had finally come.

Although she loathed to wake him Beth called out for her grandson, who had taken to sleeping across the hall from her as he worked his summer away on the farm. He stumbled into her room bleary eyed and half asleep but when Beth told him that she would like to go out onto the porch he did not falter before bending and helping her carefully from the bed. The only thing that gave him pause was when she nodded towards the bone handled knife on her bedside table, "You'll need that." 

He led her down the hallway and Beth tried to catch as much of the farmhouse as she could with one good eye in the dark. They had all known that this day was coming but she was grateful that he did not make her say it out loud as he settled beside her on the porch swing. From here she could just make out the shape of the wall circling the tree and the graves clustered around it. The place where she would be soon.

"Grandma..." her grandson paused to clear his throat, trying to hide the tears she knew were choking him. She squeezed her hand tighter around his, trying to thank him one last time for doing this for her. For being with her in these last few moments she had left.

"Do you have any last words?" he whispered softly.

Beth smiled at the sentiment, such a small request that had been denied to so many in her life. Everyone had last words of course but so few got to choose them. Her brow furrowed as she thought of what she would say, what lingering thought did she want to leave her family with. Her eyes stared at the sun cresting over the horizon shining light on the farm that had always and would always be her home. Beth considered reminding her family that she loved them but she cast that option aside quickly, they already knew that. She thought of offering up some last minute wisdom but everything of importance that she had to teach she had already done so. She thought of whispering Daryl's name simply so it would be the last thing on her lips as she left the earth but in the end she settled for something else.

Four little words that had almost been her last over a lifetime ago. Four words that she had once said in a blind rage, a rage that had nearly cost her everything.

Beth looked out on her sun bathed farm and she felt a smile tug at the corner of her lips as her eyes landed on the memorial in the center of the yard before her. Her name would be carved on there soon enough, at last rejoined with family she had lost through out her life.

Beth felt her grandson curl his fingers tighter around hers as she closed her eyes and breathed out one last time.

"I get it now."


End file.
